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There once was a pollie named Joyce. Who described his employee as noice.
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Feb 14, 2018 13:44
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He says he was gutted bout that time he nutted his expenses are now twice the price.
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Feb 14, 2018 13:49
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Roses are red, Condoms are tricky, Barnaby must learn Not to cum inside Vikki
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Feb 14, 2018 13:51
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Barnaby had a media advisor When they met he thought t'would be nicer To go out for a some smokes And share a few jokes Or maybe he'd just cum inside her
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Feb 14, 2018 13:59
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This is why I still follow auspol.
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Feb 14, 2018 14:08
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new zealand my coordinates nut in my subordinates beetroot’s in the oven and she said she aint abortin it
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Feb 14, 2018 14:08
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hooman posted:This is why I still follow auspol. Hold your applause until we get the monthly word cloud.
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Feb 14, 2018 14:13
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There once was a pollie from Tamworth, Who managed to hoist up his large girth, Stuck his willy in Vikki, Who soon felt quite sicky, And then, nine months later, she'll give birth.
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Feb 14, 2018 14:14
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Barnaby Joyce went to town, Wearing an Akubra, Killed his career with a kid and we cried "hallelujah".
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Feb 14, 2018 14:22
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Joyce had a face red and fruity He liked booze, free money and booty Any staff that was his He’d fill with his jizz One’s dropping a sprog all beetrooty
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Feb 14, 2018 14:22
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Senor Tron posted:There once was a pollie named Joyce. Baked carp headlined dinner And beetroot salad's a winner But nuts for dessert was her choice
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Feb 14, 2018 14:27
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loving incredible. This thread better be goldmined at the end of the month.
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Feb 14, 2018 15:20
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There once was a man from New England Well really, he hails from New Zealand From his wife did depart Up his advisor did embark And all the while he screamed CAAAAARRRRPPPP
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Feb 14, 2018 15:32
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The man from New England Barnaby was his name As red as beets And as rooted as herpes carp He once had a duel y'see They brought a pistol and shouted boo But they should've ran Because he wasn't firing banks Instead he was running for more A fifth kid to add to his four So he banged on news corps door And banging a beau on the floor The man was named Barnaby He was a man And as you shut your eyes at night Imagine the beetroot juice coloured cum dripping in the candlelight
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Feb 14, 2018 16:21
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there was a large beetroot called Joyce who found his employee too noice now she's up the duff his expenses are rough and the Nats seem to think we've no choice.
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Feb 14, 2018 18:47
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Beetroot tentacles Thick ropes, left in staffer, spawn Nats in disarray
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Feb 14, 2018 21:02
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Warren Stokes knew nothing about bitcoin until his son began receiving yellow postal bags filled with $50 notes in the mail. The cash was from cryptocurrency trading when his son was still in high school — about seven years ago. "He explained to me he was on a group on reddit — 1,000 people were joining their computers together to mine, and again, honestly, I had no idea what he was talking about." Mr Stokes, 58, is now a casual "crypto" investor himself. At a recent cryptocurrency meet-up in Sydney, he was there to learn about the latest craze: initial coin offerings (ICOs). An ICO uses blockchain technology to issue digital "tokens". Investors buy them using established cryptocurrencies like bitcoin or ethereum to fund companies or to access specific services, such as data storage. What is an Initial Coin Offering?An ICO use blockchain technology to issue "coins" or "tokens" for a set time period.Investors buy them using established cryptocurrency to fund new projects.An ICO may also issue "utility tokens", which are used to access specific online services.The "tokens" can then be traded peer-to-peer. Most investors buy into an ICO on the promise of its whitepaper (a document that describes the project) alone, meaning tokens are sometimes sold without revenue, customers or a functional product. Importantly, the value of these tokens is rarely pegged to anything in the real world, so prices can fluctuate dramatically. The ICO versus the rules So far, the life of the ICO has been short and often brutish. A recent Ernst & Young study, for example, estimated more than 10 per cent of the US $3.7 billion raised in ICOs by late 2017 had been stolen by hackers. Levels of seriousness may also vary. Consider the Jesus Coin ICO, which promises, "global access to Jesus that's safer and faster than ever before". Some ICOs have had more success, however, such as Australia's Power Ledger, which aims to trade energy on the blockchain. Nevertheless, the legal battle is just beginning over ICOs that allegedly overpromised or set out to deceive. The cryptocurrency project Tezos completed a $US232 million ICO in 2017, but it is now facing a US class action lawsuit from people who claim they were defrauded. There is also the "decentralised bank" AriseBank, which had its assets frozen by American regulators in January for allegedly being "an outright scam". In 2017, the Chinese Government banned raising money via ICOs, and regulators globally have warned they cannot be used to circumvent financial regulation. Locally, if an ICO appears to be funding a company, then the tokens it issues may be considered shares by the Australian Securities and Investments Commission and attract reporting obligations. At the meet-up, however, the audience mostly celebrated the ICO's underdog status. Since 2012, Alex Saunders has offered cryptocurrency advice on his YouTube channel. At the event, where most questions were prefaced with, "I'm new to this", hopeful investors clung to him with the gratitude of drowning sailors. For Mr Saunders, an ICO is a way for start-up founders to avoid being manipulated by traditional venture capital investors. "Our systems have the chance to level the playing field." Don't lose your shirt For ICO investors, there is the appeal of operating outside the traditional financial system, but also the lure of getting rich quick. And of course, the ever-present "fear of missing out". The fresh faces at the meet-up suggested that for many, buying "crypto" was likely to be their first time speculating on anything. Newcomers who went into debt to buy in before the most recent cryptocurrency crash were spoken of in hushed, regretful tones by the attendees of the meeting. "I've heard people are taking out money on their home loans to get into cryptocurrency," Mr Saunders said. "Unfortunately, there are lots of people in this space and this is their first investing experience so they've been burnt once or twice and they're learning that the hard way." For an old hand like Mr Stokes, the psychology of all trading is something these young people are learning, albeit bitterly. "Some people who don't know how to ride out a drop have sold out at the bottom," he said. "There will be a lot of people who will panic and lose their money." Two ICO investors, who asked to be called Katrina, 27, and Neil, 40, said they have had varying success. "I invested in TRON … which worked out really well," she explained. "It's a Chinese-based entertainment platform." Neil said he had participated in about nine ICOs so far, but suggested it could be hard work to sort the scams from the genuine products. He pointed to the case of Confido, a cryptocurrency start-up that claimed it was developing "smart contracts". After its November ICO, which raised a reported $US375,000, the Confido team disappeared in what's being called an "exit scam". "With the number of scammers out there who have made really high-quality fake websites and fake LinkedIn profiles … it's actually very difficult to know what's true and what's not," he warned. In Neil's view, the hype is settling down and ICOs will now have to prove themselves as a genuine financial tool. In 2018, its evangelists hope the ICO will become more than a white paper, fancy graphic design and blind faith. Or it will not. But you can be sure someone, somewhere will invest either way.
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Feb 14, 2018 21:06
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NTRabbit posted:Barnaby nutted.
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Feb 14, 2018 21:28
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There was movement at the press gallery For the word had got around That the leader of the Nationals has gone astray And that he nutted in a staffer Now she has a baby mound And that NewsCorp says the topic is fair game All his gross and sordid secrets from the old times and today Seemed suddenly were unearthed overnight For the journos like a scandal when hypocrisy's at play But stay quiet 'til old Rupert's called the fight
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Feb 14, 2018 21:46
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All the Barnaby saga makes me miss the old political satirists like Max Gillies or the late great John Clarke who would be having a field day with it. Image Gillies doing a mini-musical like what he did for The Dismissal.
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Feb 14, 2018 22:14
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so many of these posts don’t scan right. smdh
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Feb 14, 2018 23:31
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I'm taking a break from Barnaby Joyce twitter can someone else please post the juicy updates here please
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Feb 14, 2018 23:32
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http://www.abc.net.au/news/2018-02-15/i-took-the-leap-indigenous-aboriginal-instagram-death-suicide/9396724quote:The installation of an Instagram-friendly frame with signage stating "I took the leap" at a historical site where an Aboriginal woman pursued by police jumped to her death has caused concern among traditional owners.
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Feb 14, 2018 23:39
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My first car was a stick
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next there’ll be a frame “I’ve climbed mount druitt”
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Feb 14, 2018 23:45
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https://mobile.twitter.com/BevanShields/status/963911483431120901?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw Can't even collude correctly Mr Speaker.
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Feb 15, 2018 00:12
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There once was a pollie named Joyce Who made a very bad choice. He nutted inside her A mistress we refer Political opponents rejoice. gently caress it, I tried 
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Feb 15, 2018 00:53
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bandaid.friend posted:http://www.abc.net.au/news/2018-02-15/i-took-the-leap-indigenous-aboriginal-instagram-death-suicide/9396724 “I was slayed at Coniston 😂”
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Feb 15, 2018 00:54
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a handsome young cyborg named Ace wooed women at every base but once ladies glanced at his special enhancement beetroot should gently caress off in disgrace
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Feb 15, 2018 00:58
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AgentF posted:There was movement at the press gallery This is fantastic and you sir/maam are a treasure
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Feb 15, 2018 01:02
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Birdstrike posted:a handsome young cyborg named Ace +1
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Feb 15, 2018 01:03
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I had a barrel of fun in Snowtown SA.
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Feb 15, 2018 01:03
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The love of coal and iron ore Of blacked, ruined plains Of contaminated water Is running in my veins Strong love of Gina Rhinehart And my boy Guatam Adani My face resembles beetroot My friends all call me Barny I love an unborn baby And discounted capital gains of investment property income Developers, make it rain I nutted in my staffer But it's fine, as you will see She was, and wasn't my partner Theres no impropriety
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Feb 15, 2018 01:17
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I would blow Dane Cook posted:I had a barrel of fun in Snowtown SA. After the Strathfield massacre people noticed that an ad which said “Come to Strathfield Square if you have time to kill” was still up at the station.
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Feb 15, 2018 01:17
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"I stay in the Balangalow State Forest" -/- I'm moved to ask Aus Pol to recall Craig Thompson and Peter Slipper. While they held the fate of the government in their clammy hands there was no amount of dirt too filthy for the ruling junta to even speak badly of them and both stayed well beyond any reasonable semblance of decency. Why should this be any different? In fact the LNP don't even substantially care about it interrupting 'government business' because so long as they are even only technically in power they have all their performance indicators ticked. -/- Alan Joyce had a bit on ABC RN this morning that is non-sequitur salad of the first order. http://www.abc.net.au/radionational/programs/breakfast/if-you-dont-make-the-profits-you-dont-pay-the-tax/9449136 Asked about the generous provisions that allow QANTAS to offset profits against previous loses he mentioned that in the US the front end write down provisions were much more generous so you can't feasibly compare the two. OK. When asked about the drop in corporate tax rates however it was a straight case of Australia has to do exactly that or we won't be competitive. Ah, yea.., wha.. -/- These guys are amazing: https://www.facebook.com/events/2102339946665527/ https://www.facebook.com/events/337937933280923/ http://www.bmrsg.org.au/events/refugee-regatta-2018-sydney-to-canberra-walk/
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Feb 15, 2018 01:22
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Don Dongington posted:The love of coal and iron ore 
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Feb 15, 2018 01:22
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come give port arthur a shot!
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Feb 15, 2018 01:23
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BBJoey posted:come give port arthur a shot! Gun up Hoddle Street, it's the fastest way to Clifton Hill
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Feb 15, 2018 01:41
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Why not drop in to the twin towers on the way?
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Feb 15, 2018 01:59
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burn your way through regional victoria
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Feb 15, 2018 02:02
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Hang out at Hanging Rock.
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Feb 15, 2018 02:07
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