/r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

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Bogus Adventure: Jan 11, 2017; More like "Bulges Adventure"

# ? Feb 22, 2018 08:43

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# ? May 15, 2024 00:25

Theophany: Jul 22, 2014; SUCCHIAMI IL MIO CAZZO DA DIETRO, RANA RAGAZZO

2022 FIA Formula 1 WDC

Beachcomber posted:

This one reminded me of that lady who called her boyfriend controlling because when she asked for his opinion he said he actually didn't like how she dressed.

Also, she was dressing like a clown.

I couldn't find it

Lmao that one was loving gold.

# ? Feb 22, 2018 09:03

AnoHito: May 8, 2014

Haifisch posted:

I'm [22 F] wondering if the restrictions I placed on my boyfriend [22 M] were to harsh

I love titles like this, because you know that it's either going to be the most minor poo poo that people are freaking out over, or she asked him to literally cut his own dick off or something. There is never an in between.

# ? Feb 22, 2018 09:04

Haifisch: Nov 13, 2010; Objection! I object! That was... objectionable!; Taco Defender

My [24F] fiance's [26M] mom [50sF] want to move in with us with her aggressive, schizophrenic daugher [25F]

quote:

For some back story, my SO and I took over the lease on his mom's house when she retired early and moved across the country with her daughter to take care of her elderly parents (they are living with them atm). We agreed to take over the lease for two reasons: to help her out (so she wouldn't have to pay out of it), and because we needed a larger living space.

When my SO and I were first getting on our feet we did live with his mother and his sister for a short period of time. His sister is diagnosed schizophrenic and is notorious for not staying on her medication. She is also very aggressive and has at times truly frightened me with how angry and reactive she gets. My SO knows this as I've told him plenty of times how uncomfortable she makes me. To top it off, she almost killed our puppy by dropping him on his head and has carelessly left the back gate open and let him onto the street more times than I can count.

My SO called me today and told me that he had just talked to his mom and there's a chance she will need to move back to the state and in with us. His sister went off of her meds and attacked both of her grandparents, pushing her grandma over, punching her grandpa in the face, and screaming at them both. She then went and overdosed on her medication and had to be taken to the hospital. Right now his sister is at an inpatient program to get her stable and back on her medication, but her grandparents have said they won't allow her back in their home.

My SO's mom doesn't know what to do as she retired early and isn't making enough money to live on her own. Her only option to find a very cheap apartment or move back in with us.

I told my SO I am 100% NOT okay with this. I explained to him basically everything that I've written in this post and he said he knew I'd say that and he understands.

SO's mom is not going to take that very well. I know she's going try and guilt my SO and make me out to be selfish. I love his mom, but she's said before to me that I will never stand in the way of him and taking care of his sister (we've discussed that as well and he has always taken my feelings about it 100% serious). But I also know my SO loves his mom dearly and won't want to see her struggle.

I don't know what to do or what to say or where to go from here.

TLDR: SO's mom wants to move in with us with his schizophrenic sister and I'm NOT okay with it but I think his mom to going to try guilting him into agreeing.

OP posted:

He�s a total mamas boy I know he doesn�t want to take care of his sister and doesn�t want her around me at all (he�s scared she might attack me), but I don�t know if he�s able to say no to his mom or how fair it is of me to tell him to

# ? Feb 22, 2018 17:51

boner confessor: Apr 25, 2013; by R. Guyovich

Haifisch posted:

My [24F] fiance's [26M] mom [50sF] want to move in with us with her aggressive, schizophrenic daugher [25F]

having schizophrenic family sucks because there's basically no options for government assistance here. like there's no facilities you can put folks like this where they wont be beaten and raped. the best thing you can do for them is keep them at home and monitor their medication and behavior and sometimes play prison orderly in your own home as your loved one rubs poo poo in their hair or whatever. it's a horrible disease and the united states is a horrible nation in which to be profoundly mentally ill

sucks for the op because her fiance's sister isn't going to magically get better or magically disappear so she's marrying into a family where this burden exists, like it or not. and she's asking her fiance to choose between his sibling and his spouse. this isn't going to work out for anyone

# ? Feb 22, 2018 17:56

Bunni-kat: May 25, 2010; Service Desk B-b-bunny...
How can-ca-caaaaan I
help-p-p-p you?

boner confessor posted:

magically disappear

Well, not magically...

# ? Feb 22, 2018 18:05

zakharov: Nov 30, 2002; Tater Love

It came from Ask a Manager and it's a Yikes x 10000

my boss refused to call an ambulance for an injured coworker

quote:

I’m wondering if I could get your take on a situation that happened at the elementary school where I teach back in September. It’s been a few months since it happened, but it’s still on everyone’s minds.

On the first day of school, one of my fellow teachers tripped and fell backwards down the concrete steps leading up to the entrance of the school as she was arriving that morning. She split the back of her head open. As the school nurse was assessing the situation, our principal came running over and demanded that the injured teacher be helped to her feet and walked into the school “so the parents and students wouldn’t see her as they begin to arrive for school.” The principal then told everyone who witnessed the incident that they were forbidden to call an ambulance because she did not want to create a scene and scare the kids or worry the parents. The injured teacher was kept in the principal’s office with a wad of paper towels on her head for almost half an hour until most of the kids had been dropped off for the day and the buses had arrived. Then the nurse was finally “allowed” to call someone to take the teacher to the hospital, but it had to be a family member, not EMS. Several phone calls later, the nurse was finally able to get in touch with the teacher’s sister-in-law, who came to pick her up and drive her to the hospital. All in all, it was over an hour between her injury and arriving at the hospital, which is ridiculous because the school is right up the street from the fire department so am ambulance could have gotten there super quickly, and the hospital is only 10-15 minutes away so she literally could have gotten to the hospital in under 20 minutes.

It turns out, she had a concussion (no surprise there) and she needed eight stitches in her head. To my knowledge, she did not lose consciousness but she says she was in such a daze that she went along with what the principal decided instead of advocating for herself. I don’t think she was able to really even speak. She missed a week and a half of work and had residual headaches for a month or so afterward.

We were all flabbergasted that our principal chose to keep her hidden in an office with a head injury until the “right time” to get her to the hospital. The teacher probably should not have even been moved in the first place, and an injury to the head should be treated immediately regardless of the “scene” it might create. Our principal can also be very intimidating, and her decisions override the nurse’s decisions.

We’re all very concerned that she chose to put the appearances of the school ahead of the safety of an injured teacher. I know what she was probably thinking — “these parents won’t leave me alone if they see an ambulance here, they’ll think the school isn’t safe for their children,” etc. And I understand not wanting these helicopter parents breathing down your neck, but this teacher could have had a much worse spinal/head injury than she did, and it shouldn’t be up to the principal to decide when her staff warrants emergency medical care.

We were all shaken after this incident, and worried that if someone else were to get injured in the future it would be handled in a similar way. Jokes have been made like “hey, be careful carrying that box of books, if you drop it on your foot you won’t be allowed to use crutches because it might look bad to the parents,” things like that. Some people say she just made a bad judgment call, probably due to first day of school anxiety, but I worry it speaks more to her priorities than anything. What do you think of this? Was there anything legally wrong with her actions?

# ? Feb 22, 2018 18:48

Rubellavator: Aug 16, 2007

Get that lovely principal fired, what the gently caress

# ? Feb 22, 2018 18:52

zakharov: Nov 30, 2002; Tater Love

My employee may have suffered a brain injury! This could make me look bad! Blood is so messy!

# ? Feb 22, 2018 18:54

boner confessor: Apr 25, 2013; by R. Guyovich

*principal is hosing blood off the front steps as kids show up* "welcome to school, kids! no problem here, none at all, ha ha ha... go inside! quickly!"

# ? Feb 22, 2018 18:55

John Wick of Dogs: Mar 4, 2017; A real hellraiser

Hey that principal probably saved her like a $3000 ambulance bill

# ? Feb 22, 2018 18:56

Mocking Bird: Aug 17, 2011

Al Borland Corp. posted:

Hey that principal probably saved her like a $3000 ambulance bill

Should have been covered by workman�s comp, thus this is actually an effective working of capitalism

# ? Feb 22, 2018 18:59

Peaceful Anarchy: Sep 18, 2005; sXe
I am the math man.

Making the teacher move inside is the wrong move, but it's understandable that someone would suggest that when under the stress of the moment. The nurse should have refused, though. Everything after is negligence and dismissal worthy. If she was so concerned about optics she should have at least feigned interest and offered to take the injured teacher to the hospital herself.

# ? Feb 22, 2018 19:02

Doggles: Apr 22, 2007

My [29F] fiance [32M] is charging me rent for the one month before our wedding.

quote:

My fianc� and I are getting married in early April. The wedding will be near my hometown (about 3 hours from where we live), so my plan is to stay at my parents' house for the two weeks in March leading up to the big day to take care of last minute details.

My fianc� owns his house, which is where we'll both live after the wedding. Conveniently, the lease on my apartment is month-to-month, so I felt it made sense to go ahead and move my belongings into his house by the end of the month. I didn't think it'd make sense to pay another full month's rent, since I'm planning on being in my hometown anyway for two weeks in March.

Last night, my fianc� awkwardly tells me that he thinks I should pay him rent for the month of March. I said, "wait, so you want me to pay you for storing my stuff at what will be OUR house in less than 2 months?" He said, "yeah, well, we're technically not married yet."

I was so flabbergasted that I couldn't even really say anything at that moment. Fortunately, I had to leave to meet a friend, so that forced me to bite my tongue and gave me more time to ruminate over what he said. The more I think about it, the angrier I feel. I'm even more confused because in our prior discussions about finances, we mutually agreed that we'd have a joint account and all our money would be shared.

Looking back, I know money has been tight for him over the past few months due to unexpected large expenses that popped up. I can't help but feel that he's trying to manipulate this situation and squeeze money out of me.

I'm seeing him later this evening, so I'm trying to figure out what to say without completely blowing up on him. Am I overreacting or if you were in my shoes, would you also be rethinking the upcoming marriage?

tl;dr: My fiance is charging me rent for the month before our wedding. I won't even be living there; I'd just be storing my things in what will be OUR house after the wedding anyway.

# ? Feb 22, 2018 19:43

Bunni-kat: May 25, 2010; Service Desk B-b-bunny...
How can-ca-caaaaan I
help-p-p-p you?

Doggles posted:

My [29F] fiance [32M] is charging me rent for the one month before our wedding.

I.

He-

But-

Good evidence that you should live together before getting married?

# ? Feb 22, 2018 19:50

monkeytennis: Apr 26, 2007; Toilet Rascal

Doggles posted:

My [29F] fiance [32M] is charging me rent for the one month before our wedding.

Fgs don�t marry the arsehole.

# ? Feb 22, 2018 19:51

Ouhei: Oct 23, 2008; Cat Army

Doggles posted:

My [29F] fiance [32M] is charging me rent for the one month before our wedding.

Is she not going to contribute towards the mortgage after they're married? Because it sounds like he just wants her to start paying when she moves her stuff in, not after they're married.

I mean, they're probably hosed either way because way to not live together before you're married, lol.

# ? Feb 22, 2018 19:56

Randler: Jan 3, 2013; ACER ET VEHEMENS BONAVIS

I seem to vaguely remember some statistics trivia that implied people not living together before marriage actually having a lower divorce rate.

# ? Feb 22, 2018 19:58

cumshitter: Sep 27, 2005; by Fluffdaddy

He has terrible money problems beyond whatever emergency expenses he has had lately and she is in for a fun surprise once she's married.

# ? Feb 22, 2018 19:59

Farmer Crack-Ass: Jan 2, 2001; this is me posting irl

Doggles posted:

My [29F] fiance [32M] is charging me rent for the one month before our wedding.

even if he somehow felt it's "normal" to charge your SO money in this situation, the fact that he couldn't let it go to the point of insisting on the money is a gigantic red flag that he will be a raging shithead over some trivial issue later, let alone actually important matters

she got lucky and found out he's a shithead before the wedding. sever

# ? Feb 22, 2018 20:01

Anne Whateley: Feb 11, 2007; i like nice words

She says he owns it, it doesn't sound like he has a mortgage.

Randler posted:

I seem to vaguely remember some statistics trivia that implied people not living together before marriage actually having a lower divorce rate.

Well yeah, the groups of "too religious to live together before marriage" and "too religious to ever get a divorce" have like 100% overlap.

# ? Feb 22, 2018 20:01

The_end: May 17, 2014

zakharov posted:

It came from Ask a Manager and it's a Yikes x 10000

my boss refused to call an ambulance for an injured coworker

The school nurse should be fired as well for letting a non medical person tell them what to do when it comes to patient care.

# ? Feb 22, 2018 20:02

Farmer Crack-Ass: Jan 2, 2001; this is me posting irl

Ouhei posted:

Is she not going to contribute towards the mortgage after they're married? Because it sounds like he just wants her to start paying when she moves her stuff in, not after they're married.

I mean, they're probably hosed either way because way to not live together before you're married, lol.

here's the money quote:

quote:

He said, "yeah, well, we're technically not married yet."

it's not "hey let's start jointly financing our lives now", it's "hey you're not my wife yet so i don't have an obligation to support you"

# ? Feb 22, 2018 20:02

Bored: Jul 26, 2007; Dude, ix-nay on the oice-vay.

Doggles posted:

My [29F] fiance [32M] is charging me rent for the one month before our wedding.

He should have just asked her for a little financial help instead of phrasing it as rent. Sounds like that's what he needs and she wouldn't have a problem if he had just phrased it like a human being instead of making it into a business transaction.

I'd be mad too.

Farmer Crack-rear end posted:

here's the money quote:

it's not "hey let's start jointly financing our lives now", it's "hey you're not my wife yet so i don't have an obligation to support you"

Bored fucked around with this message at 20:07 on Feb 22, 2018

# ? Feb 22, 2018 20:03

Ouhei: Oct 23, 2008; Cat Army

Farmer Crack-rear end posted:

here's the money quote:

it's not "hey let's start jointly financing our lives now", it's "hey you're not my wife yet so i don't have an obligation to support you"

Ah, yeah I guess he just sucks then.

# ? Feb 22, 2018 20:04

Farmer Crack-Ass: Jan 2, 2001; this is me posting irl

Also the school principal story is disgusting but not shocking, principals can be real petty tyrants. It pisses me off that the national discourse is always focused on getting rid of bad teachers, but not one word is ever spoken to rooting out shithead administrators.

# ? Feb 22, 2018 20:05

Farmer Crack-Ass: Jan 2, 2001; this is me posting irl

Bored posted:

He should have just asked her for a little financial help instead of phrasing it as rent. Sounds like that's what he needs and she wouldn't have a problem if he had just phrased it like a human being instead of making it into a business transaction.

I'd be mad too.

what he needs is a kick in the nuts

# ? Feb 22, 2018 20:06

Dienes: Nov 4, 2009; dee
doot doot dee
doot doot doot
doot doot dee
dee doot doot
doot doot dee
dee doot doot; College Slice

Anne Whateley posted:

She says he owns it, it doesn't sound like he has a mortgage.

Well yeah, the groups of "too religious to live together before marriage" and "too religious to ever get a divorce" have like 100% overlap.

So they have a lower divorce rate but a higher "really should have divorced" rate.

# ? Feb 22, 2018 20:07

cumshitter: Sep 27, 2005; by Fluffdaddy

Anne Whateley posted:

She says he owns it, it doesn't sound like he has a mortgage.

You own the home regardless of whether or not the mortgage is paid off, so that's not a given. It's your property but it's also collateral against he mortgage debt if you default.

# ? Feb 22, 2018 20:07

Clark Nova: Jul 18, 2004

I wonder if the unexpected expense is their wedding? I can think of one way she can help him save a whole lot of money.

# ? Feb 22, 2018 20:16

HIJK: Nov 25, 2012; in the room where you sleep

zakharov posted:

It came from Ask a Manager and it's a Yikes x 10000

my boss refused to call an ambulance for an injured coworker

there is nothing surprising about this coming from a school principle though I should think that legal action is pursuable here.

# ? Feb 22, 2018 20:18

Cough Drop The Beat: Jan 22, 2012; by Lowtax

My boyfriend [23 M] can't accept that I [22 f] don't want to be a gamer girl

quote:

My boyfriend Chris and I are both computer engineers but we have really different hobbies. He's into hobbyist robotics, making Android apps, and gaming. I like trail running, lifting, martial arts, and going out bar hopping with my friends.

We've also got really different friend groups, he hangs out with his engineer co-workers and my friends are mainly outgoing artsy types.

When we were in school together, we spent a lot of time together studying and hanging out with classmates. However, after graduating, it's been harder to find stuff we both like doing together other than hanging out at one of our apartments or going out to eat. I've tried introducing Chris to my hobbies, but he didn't enjoy them at all, so I stopped trying to get him to join me.

He has been trying to get me into gaming, and I'm not really into it, but that's causing some conflict.

I told him a while back that I might have liked gaming if I was allowed to play games as a kid, but I never was.

I started to realize right away gaming wasn't really for me.

Chris told me I should make my steam username something that isn't feminine because I'd get creeps and assholes to deal with. He said I shouldn't use voice chat like him and his friends for the same reason.

I suck at multiplayer games and always bring down the team, his friends don't seem to like playing with me. Multiplayer games with strangers aren't too fun either, I die right away.

I also spend all day at work in front of a computer, I like doing stuff that gets me outside. I also hate how gaming has a kinda hostile community to women, I get too much of that at work too sometimes.

Despite being a computer engineer, I'm not super into computer stuff. I got into it because I'm good at programming and I wanted to make money tbh.

Chris just doesn't want to accept I'm not having fun, he bought me a bunch of games that I feel guilty about because I feel like they're wasted on me.

When we hang out, he wants to play games with me and his friends. And when we're apart and I want to call, he trues to get me to play a game and voice chat with him.

He just thinks I haven't found the right game, saying stuff like "It's like saying you hate music because you heard a few songs you don't like"

I was willing to give it a try but it feels like a chore now.

Even though I've been saying that I haven't had fun gaming with him, he keeps trying to figure out what kind of games I'd like, and telling me that if I am just fed up because I'm not good at it, I will get good with practice.

He takes it personally when I say I don't care about getting better, it's not something I care for

How do I deal with this?

TLDR - My boyfriend really wants me to get into gaming, but I can't stand it

# ? Feb 22, 2018 20:30

Barudak: May 7, 2007

Cough Drop The Beat posted:

My boyfriend [23 M] can't accept that I [22 f] don't want to be a gamer girl

Please return the incorrect model you purchased and go to your local REI and pick out a new boyfriend.

# ? Feb 22, 2018 20:36

Halser: Aug 24, 2016

he just hasn't found the right martial art

# ? Feb 22, 2018 20:41

Rubellavator: Aug 16, 2007

Maybe try a single player game with dolls and dressing up.

# ? Feb 22, 2018 20:50

girl pants: Sep 21, 2006; I feel a great disturbance in my pants

why would you not want to run around outside occasionally it's such a great feeling

idiot

# ? Feb 22, 2018 20:56

John Wick of Dogs: Mar 4, 2017; A real hellraiser

What percentage of the comments are telling her games she should try?

# ? Feb 22, 2018 20:57

Good Parmesan: Nov 30, 2007; I TAKE PHOTOS OF OTHER PEOPLE'S CHILDREN IN PLANET FITNESS

Crosspost from Bad With Money thread:

https://www.reddit.com/r/personalfinance/comments/5z8891/college_student_completely_cut_off_with_two_weeks/
College Student Completely cut off with two weeks notice

quote:

Here's the short story: Girl (21) brings boy home to meet parents, parents dislike him and give an ultimatum, girl says gently caress ultimatums, parents cut her off completely. Parents call the cops and have boy arrested.

They will be retrieving the car I was handed down back in high school, taking back anything they have ever given me, will not be paying tuition and will not be subsidizing rent anymore. I cannot live under this tyranny! I have no debt to my name and have an associates of science degree. My plan is to withdraw from my classes, sell the stuff I don't use, get a full time job, do summer school at a cheaper rate if I can afford it by then. Oh, also I have no savings. Okay guys HELP ME.

quote:

He is older than me, has been divorced and has a child. It's not the issue of choosing him over my family. The issue is my family is trying to manipulate me without ever having try to sit down and talk to me. He and I were driving home and just started receiving text after text about how terrible I was for dating someone like that. "Like that" being their preconceived notion of him.

quote:

Yes there is. I'll do my best to be fair. He was arrested because of an unpaid ticket. He is 12 years older than me and has been married. He has one child who he sees often. My parents did't like him (mainly) because he was with me on the weekend, instead of with his child. Thats more specific short version.

# ? Feb 22, 2018 21:02

therobit: Aug 19, 2008; I've been tryin' to speak with you for a long time

zakharov posted:

It came from Ask a Manager and it's a Yikes x 10000

my boss refused to call an ambulance for an injured coworker

Murder that piece of poo poo. Make it look like an accident and then don't report the accident.

# ? Feb 22, 2018 21:07

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# ? May 15, 2024 00:25

Khorne: May 1, 2002

Al Borland Corp. posted:

What percentage of the comments are telling her games she should try?

If there's a person alive who can't name one game they get mild enjoyment out of, be it traditional or video, they may not actually be a person.

And anyone who doesn't get why has never big-picture thought about what games represent in the context of being human.

# ? Feb 22, 2018 21:10

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