The F Plus: Terrible Things Read with Enthusiam

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pangstrom: Jan 25, 2003; Wedge Regret

do it on my face posted:

The one thing that mystifies me about the internet is what happened to the people who experienced their sexual awakening while watching the Teletubbies? Are they out there, somewhere?

Plenty of actual first world humans look disturbingly similar to Teletubbies, so they may just be living their lives.

# ? Feb 16, 2018 13:22

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# ? May 29, 2024 21:27

Wrestlepig: Feb 25, 2011; my mum says im cool; Toilet Rascal

I can jack off to the teletubbies if their screen belly is showing planes with big tits

# ? Feb 16, 2018 22:16

Gynocentric Regime: Jun 9, 2010; by Cyrano4747

Vincent Van Goatse posted:

Honestly, living in a pressurized tin can on Mars is looking more and more attractive every day.

Hell I don't even need to live, just get me there alive long enough to take a few steps and I'll be immortal.

# ? Feb 17, 2018 02:08

Guy Mann: Mar 28, 2016; by Lowtax

https://twitter.com/SwiftOnSecurity/status/961842111871041536

...and the doctor says "I can't operate on this plane, he's my boyfriend!"

# ? Feb 17, 2018 02:25

sexpig by night: Sep 8, 2011; by Azathoth

Guy Mann posted:

https://twitter.com/SwiftOnSecurity/status/961842111871041536

...and the doctor says "I can't operate on this plane, he's my boyfriend!"

that's Rand Paul's twitter

# ? Feb 19, 2018 05:22

Benny the Snake: Apr 11, 2012; GUM CHEWING INTENSIFIES

This week on Extra Credit-Reborn Dolls! :dogbutton:

# ? Feb 23, 2018 08:41

ZorajitZorajit: Sep 15, 2013; No static at all...

Guy Mann posted:

https://twitter.com/SwiftOnSecurity/status/961842111871041536

...and the doctor says "I can't operate on this plane, he's my boyfriend!"

These loss edits are getting surreal

# ? Feb 23, 2018 15:46

Fish and Chimps: Feb 16, 2012; mmmfff; Fun Shoe

Anybody remember which episode has Lemon read about his killing spell, and Adam has to calm him down? Lemon read it in a great nerd voice, and it's prob one of my favourite readings.

# ? Feb 24, 2018 00:27

Djeser: Mar 22, 2013; it's crow time again

THE KILLING SPELL!!!! is from the first Spells of Magic episode. https://thefpl.us/episode/96

e: or maybe the second one? One of the Spells of Magic ones though.

# ? Feb 24, 2018 02:22

2house2fly: Nov 14, 2012; You did a super job wrapping things up! And I'm not just saying that because I have to!

Yeah it's def the first one, it's a magic duel between him and Isfahan. "You're dead Isfahan! I killed you with the KILLING SPEEELLLL"

# ? Feb 24, 2018 04:42

DemonTrigger: May 30, 2011; I'M MAKIN' IT GP RAIN

This podcast has done some crazy ~~magic~~ magick on me because now every time I hear Carry On My Wayward Son I always think of the multiples episode, specifically the part where Boots starts singing the bridge in the middle of a sentence.

# ? Feb 24, 2018 06:21

Sham bam bamina!: Nov 6, 2012; ƨtupid cat

Which one has Lemon's perfect, one-sentence Thomas Friedman impression?

"You know, I went to Japan once..."

# ? Feb 24, 2018 06:53

Jedi425: Dec 6, 2002; THOU ART THEE ART THOU STICK YOUR HAND IN THE TV DO IT DO IT DO IT

I have yet to find a better way to get out of bed in the morning than to be told I am UNDER PSYCHIC ATTACK.

Thanks, F Plus, for making sure I GET OUT OF BED, because I AM UNDER PSYCHIC ATTACK.

# ? Feb 24, 2018 06:57

Alaois: Feb 7, 2012

THE WIZARD FORUMS

# ? Feb 24, 2018 07:16

Midjack: Dec 24, 2007

Jedi425 posted:

I have yet to find a better way to get out of bed in the morning than to be told I am UNDER PSYCHIC ATTACK.

Thanks, F Plus, for making sure I GET OUT OF BED, because I AM UNDER PSYCHIC ATTACK.

Yes, that's my alarm as well. Thanks Kumquatxop!

# ? Feb 24, 2018 08:05

Wrestlepig: Feb 25, 2011; my mum says im cool; Toilet Rascal

Jedi425 posted:

I have yet to find a better way to get out of bed in the morning than to be told I am UNDER PSYCHIC ATTACK.

Thanks, F Plus, for making sure I GET OUT OF BED, because I AM UNDER PSYCHIC ATTACK.

I think it�s the most recent crystal one.

# ? Feb 24, 2018 09:10

A Moose: Oct 22, 2009

I don't suppose anyone has the sound file for that? I need a new alarm.

# ? Feb 24, 2018 13:16

Sham bam bamina!: Nov 6, 2012; ƨtupid cat

A Moose posted:

I don't suppose anyone has the sound file for that? I need a new alarm.

Originally posted here.

# ? Feb 24, 2018 19:39

PJOmega: May 5, 2009

Sham bam bamina! posted:

Originally posted here.

It's gone now.

# ? Feb 24, 2018 21:34

Sham bam bamina!: Nov 6, 2012; ƨtupid cat

PJOmega posted:

It's gone now.

Yeah, I just noticed that. I've made two replacements, one with the other Ridiculists' laughter and one without:

http://app.box.com/s/bpxn1zgfz3k3s08ak3ofq1sd2okqsttp

http://app.box.com/s/h4ks2tnxonxgvf9ai8qwl7yj0ow1ucqa

# ? Feb 24, 2018 21:40

noether: May 1, 2017; some kinda cutesy shoggoth

I visited thunder's place today to try and get a rise out of them, but instead they gave me actual polite responses and I'm kind of salty about it

am I the bad guy?

on the plus side, apparently going fast can solve my genital-related issues, so that's good

# ? Feb 25, 2018 00:38

Sham bam bamina!: Nov 6, 2012; ƨtupid cat

Why would you post that there, and why would you post about it here?

Sham bam bamina! fucked around with this message at 01:01 on Feb 25, 2018

# ? Feb 25, 2018 00:47

T-man: Aug 22, 2010; Talk shit, get bzzzt.

Because it's funny, presumably.

Also, I really want to know what a "penis cage" is, help me Fplus!!

e: One guy's advice is tucking, which is pretty funny considering how that's common practice in trans chick circles.

# ? Feb 25, 2018 01:01

noether: May 1, 2017; some kinda cutesy shoggoth

Sham bam bamina! posted:

Why would you post that there, and why would you post about it here?

because I figured it would be funny to set off their toxic masculinity and because thunder's place was an f plus episode

T-man posted:

Also, I really want to know what a "penis cage" is, help me Fplus!!

e: One guy's advice is tucking, which is pretty funny considering how that's common practice in trans chick circles.

penis cages are like the thing in the cover art for the nofap episode, I think

also can confirm, tuck regularly

# ? Feb 25, 2018 01:15

Improbable Lobster: Jan 6, 2012; "From each according to his ability" said Ares. It sounded like a quotation.; Buglord

T-man posted:

Because it's funny, presumably.

Also, I really want to know what a "penis cage" is, help me Fplus!!

e: One guy's advice is tucking, which is pretty funny considering how that's common practice in trans chick circles.

Like a male chastity belt maybe?

# ? Feb 25, 2018 01:23

Arrhythmia: Jul 22, 2011

noether posted:

I visited thunder's place today to try and get a rise out of them, but instead they gave me actual polite responses and I'm kind of salty about it

am I the bad guy?

on the plus side, apparently going fast can solve my genital-related issues, so that's good

cool self own by breaking the safari rules!

# ? Feb 25, 2018 01:25

I Before E: Jul 2, 2012

Penis Cage is the guy who made Heavy Rain

# ? Feb 25, 2018 01:25

Wrestlepig: Feb 25, 2011; my mum says im cool; Toilet Rascal

noether posted:

I visited thunder's place today to try and get a rise out of them, but instead they gave me actual polite responses and I'm kind of salty about it

am I the bad guy?

on the plus side, apparently going fast can solve my genital-related issues, so that's good

heads up, the f plus crew tend to frown on actually getting involved with the content

"Lemon posted:

Our forum and podcast is centered around the concept of "atrocity tourism"; finding the stranger parts of the internet and sharing it with others, so that we can all feel slightly more uneasy knowing these things exist.

Along the way, you're likely to encounter some weird people. Some may be pleasant and interesting, some may be unfathomably strange, some may be genuinely bad human beings. But regardless of what you encounter along the way, know this: The Prime Directive stays in effect.

This principle, lifted from Portal of Evil which in turn was lifted from Star Trek, mandates that you do not interfere with the websites you find and share here. That means: Posting in their forums/comments section, emailing the creators, or in any way threatening, cajoling, bribing or convincing people to do something you want. Weird people on the internet were made that way through any number of factors, and you're never going to make anything better by thinking you can troll out an interesting story. That's grotesque and it's mean-spirited, and it's not what we do here. We want to watch what happens naturally, and nature cannot take it's course if you keep banging on the cage.

Not really a big deal if it's 40 year olds who don't really get upset, but it's not a good idea because it's a bit more mean spirited than the usual stuff, doesn't really lead to better content and can start drama between them and the podcast. Forum invasions are an old something awful staple so who are we to say this, but don't make a habit of it, nobody wants another sonichu

# ? Feb 25, 2018 01:35

T-man: Aug 22, 2010; Talk shit, get bzzzt.

A trans chick asking for dick destroying tips from dicknerds isn't sonichu gently caress's sake goons.

# ? Feb 25, 2018 01:44

RyokoTK: Feb 12, 2012; I am cool.

noether posted:

don't touch the poop you dumb idiot, cmon.

# ? Feb 25, 2018 01:47

Midjack: Dec 24, 2007

noether posted:

I visited thunder's place today to try and get a rise out of them, but instead they gave me actual polite responses and I'm kind of salty about it

am I the bad guy?

Yes you are mad that they didn't take the bait on your lovely trolling, you dumb fucker. Go back to kiwifarms, your approach will go over better there.

# ? Feb 25, 2018 02:24

Sham bam bamina!: Nov 6, 2012; ƨtupid cat

T-man posted:

Because it's funny, presumably.

Touching the poop is the most unfunny thing possible.

Edit:

T-man posted:

A trans chick asking for dick destroying tips from dicknerds isn't sonichu gently caress's sake goons.

That's not the point; hardly anything is Sonichu. The point is that nobody needs some dumbass trying to stir poo poo up when there's already plenty to go around. The entire reason that these sites are funny is that they're sincere; whatever bits of comedy might surface in a troll thread are completely outweighed by the insincerity and redundancy of the thread itself. And when nothing surfaces, what possible reason is there to tell everyone the news anyway?

Sham bam bamina! fucked around with this message at 02:41 on Feb 25, 2018

# ? Feb 25, 2018 02:27

Well What Now: Nov 10, 2016; by Fluffdaddy; Shredded Hen

Arrhythmia posted:

cool self own by breaking the safari rules!

Midjack posted:

Yes you are mad that they didn't take the bait on your lovely trolling, you dumb fucker. Go back to kiwifarms, your approach will go over better there.

Sham bam bamina! posted:

Touching the poop is the most unfunny thing possible.

Edit:

That's not the point; hardly anything is Sonichu. The point is that nobody needs some dumbass trying to stir poo poo up when there's already plenty to go around. The entire reason that these sites are funny is that they're sincere; whatever bits of comedy might surface in a troll thread are completely outweighed by the insincerity and redundancy of the thread itself. And when nothing surfaces, what possible reason is there to tell everyone the news anyway?

RyokoTK posted:

don't touch the poop you dumb idiot, cmon.

Seriously. Don't touch the motherfucking exhibits. Jesus.

# ? Feb 25, 2018 02:42

coolskull: Nov 11, 2007

yeah, i don't really see anything funny about trolling a forum full of dudes who, by joining the forum admit they have a complex. it's not like being mocked by a stranger is going to fix the "toxic masculinity" that has caused their crippling self-doubt.

# ? Feb 25, 2018 06:20

2house2fly: Nov 14, 2012; You did a super job wrapping things up! And I'm not just saying that because I have to!

Imagine kumquatxop touching the poop. He'd be posting on blurtit like "YES HI HELLO,"

# ? Feb 25, 2018 06:30

Djeser: Mar 22, 2013; it's crow time again

2house2fly posted:

Imagine kumquatxop touching the poop. He'd be posting on blurtit like "YES HI HELLO,"

DOOP DE DOOP, I'M TOUCHING THE POOP

# ? Feb 25, 2018 18:18

Sham bam bamina!: Nov 6, 2012; ƨtupid cat

Not to harp on the topic, but the biggest problem with poop-touching is that the person's making this about themselves. It's not enough that we have over an hour of content in the episode, twice or thrice that in the doc, and an ocean more on the site itself - people need to see my hilarious content specifically, and not just the content, but hilarious me at the center of it. No.

Sham bam bamina! fucked around with this message at 21:42 on Feb 25, 2018

# ? Feb 25, 2018 21:38