The neverending Weekend Web thread for bad posts about football

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > The Ray Parlour > The neverending Weekend Web thread for bad posts about football

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Bogan Krkic: Oct 31, 2010; Swedish style? No.
Yugoslavian style? Of course not.
It has to be Zlatan-style.

vyelkin posted:

also idk how the app works but is it possible to do the google translate thing where you keep switching it back and forth and watch it get weirder like a game of telephone?

~~yeah but without paying for it you'd have to save and crop each time which is way too much effort for me to be bothered~~

who am i kidding i have all the time in the world to kill rn

here's sam allardyce

and back into a man

and here's the arsenal squad
https://imgur.com/a/ZqJiC

Bogan Krkic fucked around with this message at 00:44 on Feb 25, 2018

# ? Feb 25, 2018 00:23

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# ? May 14, 2024 19:38

Ewar Woowar: Feb 25, 2007

Bogan Krkic posted:

ok

James Collins ahahaha

# ? Feb 25, 2018 00:51

Bobby Digital: Sep 4, 2009

Bogan Krkic posted:

and here's the arsenal squad
https://imgur.com/a/ZqJiC

Ramsey wins. Wenger looks a bit like Theresa May, which would explain his troubles in Europe.

# ? Feb 25, 2018 01:39

T Bowl: Feb 6, 2006; Shut up DUMMY

Xhaka is decent imo

# ? Feb 25, 2018 02:45

TheBigAristotle: Feb 8, 2007; I'm tired of hearing about money, money, money, money, money.
I just want to play the game, drink Pepsi, wear Reebok.; Grimey Drawer

Bogan Krkic posted:

and here's the arsenal squad
https://imgur.com/a/ZqJiC

jfc he's Theresa May

# ? Feb 25, 2018 02:51

TheBigAristotle: Feb 8, 2007; I'm tired of hearing about money, money, money, money, money.
I just want to play the game, drink Pepsi, wear Reebok.; Grimey Drawer

So, I had an idea that could solve all our problems.

Obviously, we have an issue with CB where Bailly is the only one who should ever play for us again. So, we can partner him with De Gea, with Shaw and Valencia as fullbacks. Whenever we come into danger De Gea can run back into goal, but otherwise sits as a CB. We know Dave has good enough reactions that this isn't an issue.

This solves our midfield problem, where Pogba can play in a 3 with Matic and Blind. This gives us great passing range and Pogba can do whatever he wants with the ball as if there's noone else on the pitch, like Ronaldinho in those Nike adverts. This also solves our problem of attack, where we have three players (Sanchez, Rashford, Martial) who want to play LW. With four players up front, we can play three left wingers. Sanchez, Rashford and Martial can all start on the left, with Lukaku as the man up top stretching defences and drifting out right so he can be our Belgian Robben.

I know Mourinho's too stubborn to implement this amazing idea so we probably won't see it, maybe a forward thinking manager like Tuchel or Sarri would try this out.

What do you guys think?

# ? Feb 25, 2018 17:35

Brony Car: May 22, 2014; by Cyrano4747

TheBigAristotle posted:

So, I had an idea that could solve all our problems.

Obviously, we have an issue with CB where Bailly is the only one who should ever play for us again. So, we can partner him with De Gea, with Shaw and Valencia as fullbacks. Whenever we come into danger De Gea can run back into goal, but otherwise sits as a CB. We know Dave has good enough reactions that this isn't an issue.

This solves our midfield problem, where Pogba can play in a 3 with Matic and Blind. This gives us great passing range and Pogba can do whatever he wants with the ball as if there's noone else on the pitch, like Ronaldinho in those Nike adverts. This also solves our problem of attack, where we have three players (Sanchez, Rashford, Martial) who want to play LW. With four players up front, we can play three left wingers. Sanchez, Rashford and Martial can all start on the left, with Lukaku as the man up top stretching defences and drifting out right so he can be our Belgian Robben.

I know Mourinho's too stubborn to implement this amazing idea so we probably won't see it, maybe a forward thinking manager like Tuchel or Sarri would try this out.

What do you guys think?

The best new ideas are scorned until someone shows that it works. I think United should do this.

# ? Feb 25, 2018 17:37

trem_two: Oct 22, 2002; it is better if you keep saying I'm fat, as I will continue to score goals; Fun Shoe

Brony Car posted:

The best new ideas are scorned until someone shows that it works. I think United should do this.

I hope Sarri starts this with Reina tomorrow

# ? Feb 25, 2018 17:41

sebzilla: Mar 17, 2009; Kid's blasting everything in sight with that new-fangled musket.

TheBigAristotle posted:

So, I had an idea that could solve all our problems.

Obviously, we have an issue with CB where Bailly is the only one who should ever play for us again. So, we can partner him with De Gea, with Shaw and Valencia as fullbacks. Whenever we come into danger De Gea can run back into goal, but otherwise sits as a CB. We know Dave has good enough reactions that this isn't an issue.

This solves our midfield problem, where Pogba can play in a 3 with Matic and Blind. This gives us great passing range and Pogba can do whatever he wants with the ball as if there's noone else on the pitch, like Ronaldinho in those Nike adverts. This also solves our problem of attack, where we have three players (Sanchez, Rashford, Martial) who want to play LW. With four players up front, we can play three left wingers. Sanchez, Rashford and Martial can all start on the left, with Lukaku as the man up top stretching defences and drifting out right so he can be our Belgian Robben.

I know Mourinho's too stubborn to implement this amazing idea so we probably won't see it, maybe a forward thinking manager like Tuchel or Sarri would try this out.

What do you guys think?

gently caress me that can't be a real post from an adult human who's seen a football match before

# ? Feb 25, 2018 17:42

Literally Lewis Hamilton: Feb 22, 2005

That�s obviously satire

# ? Feb 25, 2018 17:59

Jose: Jul 24, 2007; Adrian Chiles is a broadcaster and writer

https://www.nytimes.com/2018/03/02/opinion/fifa-women-iran-infantino.html

quote:

Why Is FIFA Condoning Gender Apartheid?

Over the past few months, the world has once again been reminded of the gender apartheid long practiced in Iran � and of the bravery of Iranian women languishing under it. Late last year protesters began removing their compulsory hijabs in public and waving them in defiant protest. At least 29 women have been jailed for seeking the freedom to show their hair. Some have been beaten. All that in a country in which husbands have a legal right to bar their wives from working and in which a woman�s testimony in court is worth half that of a man�s.

So why is Gianni Infantino, the president of FIFA, the world soccer federation, doing his part to condone the Islamic Republic�s misogyny?

# ? Mar 2, 2018 22:20

Ninpo: Aug 6, 2004; by FactsAreUseless

Am I being dumb? I don't get why that's here

# ? Mar 3, 2018 02:24

Shrapnig: Jan 21, 2005

Ninpo posted:

Am I being dumb? I don't get why that's here

You've just inadvertently created the greatest ninpobeatshiswife.txt post ever.

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

# ? Mar 3, 2018 02:57

Ninpo: Aug 6, 2004; by FactsAreUseless

Really? Seems calling out something highly misogynistic is exactly the opposite of your crazy stalker fantasy.

# ? Mar 3, 2018 04:26

TheBigAristotle: Feb 8, 2007; I'm tired of hearing about money, money, money, money, money.
I just want to play the game, drink Pepsi, wear Reebok.; Grimey Drawer

# ? Mar 3, 2018 22:20

skooma512: Feb 8, 2012; You couldn't grok my race car, but you dug the roadside blur.

What the gently caress are you doing NBC sports by posting the score on the front page of your app when I'm on my way to watch the game?

# ? Mar 3, 2018 23:57

TheBigAristotle: Feb 8, 2007; I'm tired of hearing about money, money, money, money, money.
I just want to play the game, drink Pepsi, wear Reebok.; Grimey Drawer

God, I miss the Jozy thread

# ? Mar 8, 2018 03:26

jesus WEP: Oct 17, 2004

lmao

# ? Mar 8, 2018 10:51

c0burn: Sep 2, 2003; The KKKing

https://twitter.com/ClinicalFirmino/status/971762963467112449?s=08

# ? Mar 8, 2018 18:57

jesus WEP: Oct 17, 2004

He�s right

# ? Mar 8, 2018 20:45

trem_two: Oct 22, 2002; it is better if you keep saying I'm fat, as I will continue to score goals; Fun Shoe

https://twitter.com/RealSaltLake/status/971939882175049729

# ? Mar 9, 2018 03:51

Poonior Toilett: Aug 21, 2004; m'lady

my buddy kyle....

# ? Mar 9, 2018 05:19

Crazy Ted: Jul 29, 2003

Jermaine Dildoe posted:

my buddy kyle....

Instead of Weedlord Midfieldhitler he's now "Substitute teacher most likely to be caught having sex with one of his 15-year-old students".

# ? Mar 9, 2018 17:51

blue footed boobie: Sep 14, 2012; UEFA SUPREMACY

How I became a Tottenham fan, a new soccer fan's story in 2018.

So I picked up this year's FIFA after having not played for almost 20 years. My first experience with FIFA was back in '98 and I have no soccer knowledge beyond that. I chose Arsenal in '98 because they were literally the first team on the list (lol?), but my friend who let me borrow the game also recommended them. After my first night in career mode, I was hooked. I thought Anelka was soccer's Michael Jordan, and I fell in love with how beastly Bergkamp was. Sadly though, I would have to return the game to my friend eventually, and my short relationship with soccer ended.

Flashforward to 2018 and NBA2K18 is so horrible that I bought FIFA instead. I chose Toronto FC as my first team to get familiar with the MLS, but this quickly let me down since I wanted to compete in the European competitions. I needed a new team, but had no clue where to start.

I wanted a couple of things with my new team:

Participating in the highest European competitions
Young with potential yet unproven
Premier League + La Liga preferred
I did some research for some young teams but I noticed one of the cover stars for FIFA'18 was Dele Alli. I didn't know who he was, but I figured if FIFA is featuring him, then maybe his team might be interesting. I quickly noticed on his team wereHarry Kane, and Christian Eriksen, two standout players I remember from my experience with playing my Toronto FC career mode. I knew I had found my side for a number of reasons

Two world class players to lead the team
Dele Alli, I know he's mostly unpopular for diving, but the EA marketing machine worked on a casual fan like me
Heung-min Son, I'm asian and having him as a fan-favorite sold me for sure
The name Spurs, if you're an NBA fan, you know the Spurs have been a top-class franchise for two decades
Lastly but most importantly, their stigma with not having won anything. I've only been on this sub only a month but 'It's Tottenham, lads' is everywhere. This actually made me root for them even more
I was pretty devastated by their loss in the Champions League, but it really showed me that I've become really invested into this team. I love following this team, and it's turned into a new love following world soccer. Thanks for reading if you've gotten this far. If you guys have any stories like this I would love to hear more about how you guys found your teams.

# ? Mar 13, 2018 02:18

ephex: Nov 4, 2007; PHWOAR CRIMINAL

blue footed boobie posted:

How I became a Tottenham fan, a new soccer fan's story in 2018.

So I picked up this year's FIFA after having not played for almost 20 years. My first experience with FIFA was back in '98 and I have no soccer knowledge beyond that. I chose Arsenal in '98 because they were literally the first team on the list (lol?), but my friend who let me borrow the game also recommended them. After my first night in career mode, I was hooked. I thought Anelka was soccer's Michael Jordan, and I fell in love with how beastly Bergkamp was. Sadly though, I would have to return the game to my friend eventually, and my short relationship with soccer ended.

Flashforward to 2018 and NBA2K18 is so horrible that I bought FIFA instead. I chose Toronto FC as my first team to get familiar with the MLS, but this quickly let me down since I wanted to compete in the European competitions. I needed a new team, but had no clue where to start.

I wanted a couple of things with my new team:

Participating in the highest European competitions
Young with potential yet unproven
Premier League + La Liga preferred
I did some research for some young teams but I noticed one of the cover stars for FIFA'18 was Dele Alli. I didn't know who he was, but I figured if FIFA is featuring him, then maybe his team might be interesting. I quickly noticed on his team wereHarry Kane, and Christian Eriksen, two standout players I remember from my experience with playing my Toronto FC career mode. I knew I had found my side for a number of reasons

Two world class players to lead the team
Dele Alli, I know he's mostly unpopular for diving, but the EA marketing machine worked on a casual fan like me
Heung-min Son, I'm asian and having him as a fan-favorite sold me for sure
The name Spurs, if you're an NBA fan, you know the Spurs have been a top-class franchise for two decades
Lastly but most importantly, their stigma with not having won anything. I've only been on this sub only a month but 'It's Tottenham, lads' is everywhere. This actually made me root for them even more
I was pretty devastated by their loss in the Champions League, but it really showed me that I've become really invested into this team. I love following this team, and it's turned into a new love following world soccer. Thanks for reading if you've gotten this far. If you guys have any stories like this I would love to hear more about how you guys found your teams.

lol came here to post this

# ? Mar 13, 2018 10:27

wicka: Jun 28, 2007

It really hosed me up when I learned how many Americans got into football solely through FIFA

# ? Mar 13, 2018 12:36

Literally Lewis Hamilton: Feb 22, 2005

Tbf you couldn�t really watch overseas football stateside until the mid 2000s and then it was a fuckoff expensive fox soccer package online

# ? Mar 13, 2018 13:31

Tokyo Sexwale: Jul 30, 2003

The Kimoa Kid posted:

It really hosed me up when I learned how many Americans got into football solely through FIFA

I'm betting lots of people got into Man Utd worldwide when Beckham was dating a Spice Girl, at least that's how I remember it

# ? Mar 13, 2018 14:47

Shrapnig: Jan 21, 2005

big crush on Chad OMG posted:

Tbf you couldn�t really watch overseas football stateside until the mid 2000s and then it was a fuckoff expensive fox soccer package online

It was either grainy Serie A on RAI or whatever the basic cable Italian channel my cable company carried or Champions League on ESPN2 when I was a kid.

I remember watching a lot of Ajax matches in the mid-90s.

# ? Mar 13, 2018 15:14

wicka: Jun 28, 2007

big crush on Chad OMG posted:

Tbf you couldn�t really watch overseas football stateside until the mid 2000s and then it was a fuckoff expensive fox soccer package online

Pfffffft, if my poor family could afford the FSW cable package, anybody could.

# ? Mar 13, 2018 15:40

ephex: Nov 4, 2007; PHWOAR CRIMINAL

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wc5qmQqA4jU

# ? Mar 24, 2018 17:05

Poonior Toilett: Aug 21, 2004; m'lady

ephex posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wc5qmQqA4jU

lol at tucking the jersey into his pants

# ? Mar 24, 2018 17:48

Weaponized Cum: Aug 31, 2004; This post brought to you by the finest Miami cocaine money can buy ----->

Happy international break y'all! I designed Spurs as an American football team. Hope this helps some of those international break blues.

# ? Mar 24, 2018 18:45

blue footed boobie: Sep 14, 2012; UEFA SUPREMACY

Weaponized Cum posted:

Happy international break y'all! I designed Spurs as an American football team. Hope this helps some of those international break blues.

This is so loving stupid.

# ? Mar 24, 2018 18:55

Jose: Jul 24, 2007; Adrian Chiles is a broadcaster and writer

https://twitter.com/IAmSuperior2U/status/975783005137420289

# ? Mar 24, 2018 21:24

TheBigAristotle: Feb 8, 2007; I'm tired of hearing about money, money, money, money, money.
I just want to play the game, drink Pepsi, wear Reebok.; Grimey Drawer

This is purestrain weekend web thread poo poo right here :discourse:

# ? Mar 24, 2018 22:12

trem_two: Oct 22, 2002; it is better if you keep saying I'm fat, as I will continue to score goals; Fun Shoe

that's quite the Twitter account, shame it isn't real
https://twitter.com/IAmSuperior2U/status/976036330881855488

# ? Mar 25, 2018 04:03

Brony Car: May 22, 2014; by Cyrano4747

trem_two posted:

that's quite the Twitter account, shame it isn't real
https://twitter.com/IAmSuperior2U/status/976036330881855488

De Gay

# ? Mar 25, 2018 04:10

TheBigAristotle: Feb 8, 2007; I'm tired of hearing about money, money, money, money, money.
I just want to play the game, drink Pepsi, wear Reebok.; Grimey Drawer

https://twitter.com/realsophiarobot/status/978720606077173760

# ? Mar 28, 2018 21:55

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# ? May 14, 2024 19:38

Nottherealaborn: Nov 12, 2012

https://youtu.be/ibYTJwOZxmM

# ? Mar 30, 2018 17:50

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > The Ray Parlour > The neverending Weekend Web thread for bad posts about football

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