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Jeza posted:I think the villains are the sisters' parents. OP did nothing wrong Her parents are poo poo but lmao okay dude
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Mar 7, 2018 22:00
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tactlessbastard posted:Are you kidding me 1999 was a loving banner year 1998 was the greatest year in PC gaming history but there is nothing anyone could say or do to ever convince me to go through puberty again, that was hell
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Mar 7, 2018 22:00
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boner confessor posted:1998 was the greatest year in PC gaming history but there is nothing anyone could say or do to ever convince me to go through puberty again, that was hell Puberty was way better than 1998 in PC gaming
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Mar 7, 2018 22:03
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My (24M) Girlfriend (21F) wants to get a PhD... And not use itquote:I've been stressed out recently because my girlfriend is so intent on getting a PhD, only to be a stay at home mom after. I get stressed thinking about the time commitment that it will take for that. Her parents are telling her she will have no debt, but I find that hard to believe. Her parents have told her from a young age that she must get a PhD or she will have failed (she essentially has a tiger mom). I'm gonna try to not rant but I think the whole thing is ridiculous. Especially if I'm gonna have to move around and support her the whole time. I am starting to get strong feelings so I think that's why I'm stressed. Also I get relationship anxiety pretty bad. I'd appreciate any advice I can give.
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Mar 7, 2018 22:03
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Why is it bad if she starts being a SAHM after the PHD as opposed to before?  It's the moving around that bothers him? He'll have to support her afterwards so why is the support an issue. That dude sounds like an idiot.
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Mar 7, 2018 22:05
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Barudak posted:Puberty was way better than 1998 in PC gaming 1998 in pc gaming: descent: freespace starcraft unreal fallout 2 grim fandango half life thief baldurs gate puberty, whenever: hormones angst weird body sex anxiety
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Mar 7, 2018 22:05
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Ham Sandwiches posted:Why is it bad if she starts being a SAHM after the PHD as opposed to before? It's a vanity degree. She's going to spend three to five years working 6-10 hour days for free. There will be absolutely no beneficial outcomes from this. It'll take time away from caring after their children and likely cost money one way or another. Since there's no ongoing benefit after she's finished there's really no functional difference between doing a PhD and saying 'I want to spend 8 hours a day playing wow for the next three years and be unemployed. You should support me in this.' E: Oh, ham sandwichs. Here we go.
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Mar 7, 2018 22:10
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Outrail posted:It's a vanity degree. Yeah dude the super hot take of "how is it different" it's a good thing you got to the bottom of which poster could have made such a shocking post, lol Again, I don't get why "she's going to be a SAHM so skip the PHD and embrace your SAHM nature now" is somehow magically way better than a wife that has a PHD and does the same. I believe most PHDs are vanity degrees anyway given how often they relate to one's career 
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Mar 7, 2018 22:13
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Ham Sandwiches posted:Why is it bad if she starts being a SAHM after the PHD as opposed to before? Don't date/marry/plan your life around someone who is fine with being walked all over, lest you end up walked all over by proxy, and perhaps even teach your children to be walked all over as well.
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Mar 7, 2018 22:14
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Spending several years working for free and dictating where you must live in exchange for absolutely nothing is a bad idea IMO, sorry if that's a hot take guys
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Mar 7, 2018 22:15
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Jeffrey of YOSPOS posted:Because it's an extremely big turn off for a partner to jump through enormous hoops that they don't personally care about because they are too spineless to say no to their parents. That poo poo's understandable among children but choosing impose suffering not only on yourself but your partner so that you can appease your parents' inane whims would have me reconsidering things, as well. I get this for some things but someone that wants to spend a few years getting a degree and having the parents pay for it (if that's the correct take from the story) seems acceptable, in that it opens the door for things down the road (even if she never follows up on it) and may make her feel more accomplished than a typical SAHM, and it may help build decent ties with the family. He doesn't seem to be pushing for her to work either way, so if he's ok with supporting her while she sits around the house, I just don't see how supporting her as she gets a PHD is somehow worse, other than she'll have less time for the relationship. Some families really do buy into the "PHD = super mega important" especially if they're from other countries. I personally wouldn't have an issue with this, though I certainly understand that other people would.
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Mar 7, 2018 22:17
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She can use the PHD to add authenticity to the erotic history novels she will eventually write as a form of escapism from being a full time mom.
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Mar 7, 2018 22:18
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Cat Army
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Man I would advise people not to get a PhD even if they were planning on using it
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Mar 7, 2018 22:20
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loquacius posted:Man I would advise people not to get a PhD even if they were planning on using it I wont get in the way of anybody shooting for a PhD in loving, but alas most of them are but honorary
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Mar 7, 2018 22:22
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Ham Sandwiches posted:I get this for some things but someone that wants to spend a few years getting a degree and having the parents pay for it (if that's the correct take from the story) seems acceptable, in that it opens the door for things down the road (even if she never follows up on it) and may make her feel more accomplished than a typical SAHM, and it may help build decent ties with the family. Opening doors you have no intention of using? What? At best that's like opening the curtains on windows you can't climb out of or something. I mean I'm bad with metaphors but gently caress that's a dumb (Not your post, just the concept of spending years for a qualification you have no interest in using). I spent five years getting a carpentry qualification... Welp, time to toss my tools in the river, never touch a piece of unfinished wood again and start having kids!
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Mar 7, 2018 22:23
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Do you not get paid for a PhD in the states? I thought about doing my PhD here in Germany, but even for 40k€ a year it's just not worth it.
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Mar 7, 2018 22:26
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Barudak posted:I wont get in the way of anybody shooting for a PhD in loving, but alas most of them are but honorary Are OP's in-laws open to the idea of honorary degrees? The Universal Life Church could really save them a lot of money here.
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Mar 7, 2018 22:26
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Eezee posted:Do you not get paid for a PhD in the states? I thought about doing my PhD here in Germany, but even for 40k€ a year it's just not worth it. You can, but America is a degenerate hellscape so lots of people dont and have to take student loans on a PhD in like, philosphy
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Mar 7, 2018 22:28
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Jeffrey of YOSPOS posted:Because it's an extremely big turn off for a partner to jump through enormous hoops that they don't personally care about because they are too spineless to say no to their parents. That poo poo's understandable among children but choosing to impose suffering not only on yourself but your partner and potentially your children so that you can appease your parents' inane whims would have me reconsidering things, as well. This!!! Seriously, one of my best friends has a fiancee now that is demanding he take care of her parents. He has to move with her back to SF, get a new home that will house the two of them plus both of her parents in the most expensive city in the US, and her parents hate him because they're racist and don't want her marrying outside of her race. For real. I've tried for a year now to tell him that he shouldn't do this and it's their lives, not her parents that matter for their relationship, but he's kind of a sad sack that won't challenge anything she says. When I asked her why he has to do this, her response? "That's what we want to do". "Are you sure that's what both of you want to do?" "Yep!" Meanwhile, my friend sits saying absolutely nothing, sinking lower and lower into his seat. These guys exist, and honestly, pretty sure that the OP is going to do exactly like my friend is doing: marry her.
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Mar 7, 2018 22:29
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Outrail posted:Opening doors you have no intention of using? What? At best that's like opening the curtains on windows you can't climb out of or something. I mean I'm bad with metaphors but gently caress that's a dumb (Not your post, just the concept of spending years for a qualification you have no interest in using). Yeah, in your example if a few years later you decide you are inspired by your kid and want to make them something special using your carpentry skills, you can do so If he secretly is hoping that she ends up being more than a SAHM then her having a PHD raises those chances should her feelings on the topic change at some later point. Even if she remains a SAHM, she still has the PHD which may help her self esteem or help her deal with people if they try the "oh you're just a mom what do you know" baggage on her, she has a pretty solid response. And it may be very important to family relations, though I agree it's not a good thing they're pressuring her, some families do have that dynamic. Again, I understand not being on board with any of this, I just don't see this example as particularly egregious by my standards, that's all.
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Mar 7, 2018 22:30
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Ham Sandwiches posted:I get this for some things but someone that wants to spend a few years getting a degree and having the parents pay for it (if that's the correct take from the story) seems acceptable, in that it opens the door for things down the road (even if she never follows up on it) and may make her feel more accomplished than a typical SAHM, and it may help build decent ties with the family. I think it reflects pretty poorly on her decision-making and I'd be worried about what sort of example she'll set when they have children.
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Mar 7, 2018 22:30
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loquacius posted:Man I would advise people not to get a PhD even if they were planning on using it I use mine, and even I would advise against getting a PhD! Plus, at least three from the four other people in my cohort don’t even use theirs/didn’t stay in the field/are waiting for some super swanky opportunity to just magically fall at their feet, because they can now put ‘So-and-so Lameass PhD’ in their email signatures.
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Mar 7, 2018 22:38
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loquacius posted:yeah this plus I'm pretty sure the supply of law-school graduates still far outstrips the demand anyway bc there are still roughly 300 million boomer lawyers in the workforce who will keep working until they drop dead because their home lives are poo poo and they have no hobbies Youre right that something is wrong with all of them. They're all like 80 and can't use the computer at all still. Go home! Live the last of your lives wtf
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Mar 7, 2018 22:40
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LadyPictureShow posted:I use mine, and even I would advise against getting a PhD! Plus, at least three from the four other people in my cohort don’t even use theirs/didn’t stay in the field/are waiting for some super swanky opportunity to just magically fall at their feet, because they can now put ‘So-and-so Lameass PhD’ in their email signatures. I did a one-year master's and the thought of five to seven additional years of that kinda makes me wanna puke and yeah one of the people in my wife's Masters cohort became a wedding planner immediately after graduation (it was not a master's in wedding planning) LethalGeek posted:My job has dozens of """retired """ partners who are still coming into the office most days to answer loving email they could at home. There is a whole collection of office spaces and computers for the lot of them in our biggest office. My lawyer dad does this, and he likes his wife and has hobbies so I don't understand it He always used to get mad at me when I wanted to stay home sick as a kid, even if a doctor agreed. I dunno why law appears to attract that kind of person 
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Mar 7, 2018 22:44
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LethalGeek posted:My job has dozens of """retired """ partners who are still coming into the office most days to answer loving email they could at home. There is a whole collection of office spaces and computers for the lot of them in our biggest office. Oh weird, my wife worked in an office with this exactly situation too. Extremely rich little office with like 6 owners, only one of them under 60 who still "worked" there, but a bunch of the rest would just dodder in randomly to look around, make sure the cash was flowing in, and had little computers set up to check email and such. Sometimes they'd just come in to spend an hour trying to use google to find something and then eventually ask one of the less senior partners to google it for them, or they'd come in to print out a bunch of emails. The business was absolutely an old boy's network, so a bunch of them even though retired still "worked" just by showing up sometimes to make sure they got that million dollar contract from their fellow rich 70 year old business friend who will only do business with him. These were people with mansions and yachts and multiple vacation homes who just had to keep coming in to make sure their profit was min/maxed and to use the printer.
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Mar 7, 2018 22:45
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loquacius posted:When I was a teenager I made sure my parents knew drat well I had no interest in taking up either of their careers, early and often, and that helped I'm the opposite, both my parents were musicians (although my mother studied history and later worked as a paralegal) and they warned me away from a career in music as being difficult and draining. I tried a bunch of other stuff and studied sociology, international relations, and journalism, but it took until I was 26 to realise I actually did want to do music as a career and work out a plan for getting into a conservatory without any more government tuition subsidies (you get one undergrad and one postgrad and I've used them both) for £1800 a year. Feels good knowing what the gently caress I actually want to do though.
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Mar 7, 2018 22:48
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Ham Sandwiches posted:Yeah, in your example if a few years later you decide you are inspired by your kid and want to make them something special using your carpentry skills, you can do so You can get hobby-level skills without pursuing a degree, you know. A PhD will be utterly useless after five years out of the workforce, you might as well have spent a few months checking out books from the library on your own time in terms of knowledge you will be able to practically apply. She can download a degree template from the Internet if she needs some stupid bullshit to lord over the other moms with, it'll be exactly as respected as a real one (none. it'll be none respected, by her or anyone else). A Wizard of Goatse fucked around with this message at 22:51 on Mar 7, 2018 |
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Mar 7, 2018 22:49
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LethalGeek posted:My job has dozens of """retired """ partners who are still coming into the office most days to answer loving email they could at home. There is a whole collection of office spaces and computers for the lot of them in our biggest office. There's a retired(?) guy here who rents out an entire office in our swanky downtown suite so that he can come in around 9:00, do the crossword, pick up the mail (there's nothing but ads for him anyway), and maybe make a phone call, every Monday-Thursday. He's out of here by 10:00-10:30. For the same amount he pays in rent, he could go on a pretty decent trip every month. At least get something out of it, dude.
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Mar 7, 2018 22:51
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Baronjutter posted:Oh weird, my wife worked in an office with this exactly situation too. Extremely rich little office with like 6 owners, only one of them under 60 who still "worked" there, but a bunch of the rest would just dodder in randomly to look around, make sure the cash was flowing in, and had little computers set up to check email and such. Sometimes they'd just come in to spend an hour trying to use google to find something and then eventually ask one of the less senior partners to google it for them, or they'd come in to print out a bunch of emails. Can we eat the rich yet?
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Mar 7, 2018 22:52
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Coohoolin posted:Feels good knowing what the gently caress I actually want to do though. I'm in my mid thirties. I've spent years travelling the world. I'm on my second career plus a half dozen other jobs under my belt. I'm still lost. You can have $2000 cash if you bottle that feeling and mail me a six month supply.
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Mar 7, 2018 22:55
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Outrail posted:I'm in my mid thirties. I've spent years travelling the world. I'm on my second career plus a half dozen other jobs under my belt. my man good coke costs way more than that
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Mar 7, 2018 22:58
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A Wizard of Goatse posted:my man good coke costs way more than that But you only need to take a little bit in order to know what you want to do. ("I want to do more coke.")
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Mar 7, 2018 23:07
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Bearded Whiteguy posted:This!!! Seriously, one of my best friends has a fiancee now that is demanding he take care of her parents. He has to move with her back to SF, get a new home that will house the two of them plus both of her parents in the most expensive city in the US, and her parents hate him because they're racist and don't want her marrying outside of her race. For real. I've tried for a year now to tell him that he shouldn't do this and it's their lives, not her parents that matter for their relationship, but he's kind of a sad sack that won't challenge anything she says. When I asked her why he has to do this, her response? "That's what we want to do". "Are you sure that's what both of you want to do?" "Yep!" Meanwhile, my friend sits saying absolutely nothing, sinking lower and lower into his seat. Lmao, another white guy dating an Asian girl without thinking about what he's getting himself into, resulting in a ton of stereotypical but still funny issues. Does the guy defend Trump voters? Or maybe complain about "virtue signaling"?
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Mar 7, 2018 23:20
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Shoshie posted:There's a retired(?) guy here who rents out an entire office in our swanky downtown suite so that he can come in around 9:00, do the crossword, pick up the mail (there's nothing but ads for him anyway), and maybe make a phone call, every Monday-Thursday. He's out of here by 10:00-10:30. For the same amount he pays in rent, he could go on a pretty decent trip every month. At least get something out of it, dude. It's good to get out of the house and maybe travel isn't his thing.
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Mar 7, 2018 23:22
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Oh yeah don't go to law school. Duh.
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Mar 7, 2018 23:25
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LethalGeek posted:My job has dozens of """retired """ partners who are still coming into the office most days to answer loving email they could at home. There is a whole collection of office spaces and computers for the lot of them in our biggest office. they dont have a life to live, as soon as they lose work they lose all meaning and will die Eezee posted:Do you not get paid for a PhD in the states? I thought about doing my PhD here in Germany, but even for 40k€ a year it's just not worth it. you do get paid if it's a useful program but many american universities have caught on there are tons of suckers who will pay to study for a vanity or useless doctorate
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Mar 7, 2018 23:45
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I worked at a place where the CEO had a meltdown infront of the entire company about how they didnt believe in work/life balance because work is life and I was gone about three weeks later
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Mar 7, 2018 23:54
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Yeah there's a huge difference in accrued debt, job prospects, and even time to completion between an engineering PhD from, say, a Big Ten state school and a history PhD from an expensive private liberal arts university. Which is not saying there's no value in the latter! This isn't meant to be some STEMlord garbage, it's just that when we talk about PhDs there are two distinct families of experience here.
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Mar 7, 2018 23:55
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sincx posted:Lmao, another white guy dating an Asian girl without thinking about what he's getting himself into, resulting in a ton of stereotypical but still funny issues. 1. How did you know he was a white guy dating an Asian girl, oh wait... duh... 2. Actually, he's a left leaning centrist. His gf defends Trump voters, claims to be a "humanist" instead of a feminist. She's also "libertarian" and does not see the hypocrisy of being a libertarian and a humanist. We all know she voted for Trump, but she won't admit it. I knew about the whole "taking care of the parents" part of Chinese culture, but living on the west coast, I know a lot of Chinese families and hers is the only one who takes it seriously. I mean, they straight up have been telling her for her whole life she can't get married and has to get a good job to take care of her parents. Sure, anecdotal and all, but I honestly was surprised by how her parents won't even meet him and so they're getting married in secret. The only comparison I have is a cousin through marriage who married a Chinese woman, and her mom would randomly call and yell things at them in Mandarin because he's Hispanic. Just... wow.
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Mar 8, 2018 00:00
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But Rocks Hurt Head posted:Yeah there's a huge difference in accrued debt, job prospects, and even time to completion between an engineering PhD from, say, a Big Ten state school and a history PhD from an expensive private liberal arts university. probably not so much on the prospects front when you take a decade or so from working to raise your kid immediately afterwards, though
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Mar 8, 2018 00:01
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