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graham cracker
Mar 8, 2004

"There is no God! Right, Mama?"

"True."


Blistex posted:

:eyepop: Look at the amount of face that guy lost!

Lol

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Fututor Magnus
Feb 22, 2016

by FactsAreUseless

IT BURNS posted:

A battle cry or a coffee shop? You decide!



i'll have a latte with melamine, please.

edit: has anyone tried these starbucks ripoffs or those bizarre KFC knockoffs?

Grand Fromage
Jan 30, 2006

L-l-look at you bar-bartender, a-a pa-pathetic creature of meat and bone, un-underestimating my l-l-liver's ability to metab-meTABolize t-toxins. How can you p-poison a perfect, immortal alcohOLIC?


BexGu posted:

Everything everyone else has suggested ALONG with the added bonus Costco that doesn't treat their employees like poo poo and actually pays them a decent wage.

In Asia they're especially good because you can get imports that are hard/impossible to find elsewhere, or are much cheaper. Like a decent block of cheese that you don't have to take out a loan for.

You can also get a slice of pizza that isn't hosed with and watch the Koreans put corn syrup on their pizza from the handy corn syrup pump, or the spectacle of the plate of onions/ketchup/mustard they're eating with a spoon.

Paladin
Nov 26, 2004
You lost today, kid. But that doesn't mean you have to like it.


Grand Fromage posted:

or the spectacle of the plate of onions/ketchup/mustard they're eating with a spoon.

This is my go to example of so many things regarding Korea.

CIGNX
May 7, 2006

You can trust me

Grand Fromage posted:

You can also get a slice of pizza that isn't hosed with and watch the Koreans put corn syrup on their pizza from the handy corn syrup pump

What the gently caress? Why is there a corn syrup pump?

Grand Fromage
Jan 30, 2006

L-l-look at you bar-bartender, a-a pa-pathetic creature of meat and bone, un-underestimating my l-l-liver's ability to metab-meTABolize t-toxins. How can you p-poison a perfect, immortal alcohOLIC?


CIGNX posted:

What the gently caress? Why is there a corn syrup pump?

Because none of the Costco food court food is sweetened, and in Korea all food must have sugar or syrup on it. Especially foreign food, all foreign food is sweet you know? Garlic bread shiny with a centimeter of caked on honey, steaks glazed in syrup, pizza with whipped cream on it, corn dogs rolled in so much sugar the entire exterior is white...

Grand Fromage
Jan 30, 2006

L-l-look at you bar-bartender, a-a pa-pathetic creature of meat and bone, un-underestimating my l-l-liver's ability to metab-meTABolize t-toxins. How can you p-poison a perfect, immortal alcohOLIC?


Big Korean grocery stores have a syrup aisle. You can buy like multi-gallon jugs of it. Corn and rice syrup are the most common.

Kill All Cops
Apr 11, 2007


Pacheco de Chocobo



Hell Gem

Grand Fromage posted:

100% chance I will not be in China by the end of the year. Keep the strippers warm.

goodbye chengdu goon base

Grand Fromage
Jan 30, 2006

L-l-look at you bar-bartender, a-a pa-pathetic creature of meat and bone, un-underestimating my l-l-liver's ability to metab-meTABolize t-toxins. How can you p-poison a perfect, immortal alcohOLIC?


Lady Galaga posted:

goodbye chengdu goon base

There will still be one, and I think there are a couple secret goons here who never hang out.

ladron
Sep 15, 2007

eso es lo que es

Grand Fromage posted:

Garlic bread shiny with a centimeter of caked on honey, steaks glazed in syrup, pizza with whipped cream on it, corn dogs rolled in so much sugar the entire exterior is white...

loving flashbacks

peanut
Sep 9, 2007


Oh my god that is worse than I ever imagined.

Japan has many Costco locations, but none close enough to me for a day trip :(

Outrail
Jan 4, 2009

www.sapphicrobotica.com
:roboluv: :love: :roboluv:

Grand Fromage posted:

Because none of the Costco food court food is sweetened, and in Korea all food must have sugar or syrup on it. Especially foreign food, all foreign food is sweet you know? Garlic bread shiny with a centimeter of caked on honey, steaks glazed in syrup, pizza with whipped cream on it, corn dogs rolled in so much sugar the entire exterior is white...

Of all this poo poo in this thread. Da gently caress.

EasternBronze
Jul 19, 2011

I registered for the Selective Service! I'm also racist as fuck!
:downsbravo:
Don't forget to ignore me!
I forgive Korea all of its atrocities against pizza and bread because it's own local food is so good.

ladron
Sep 15, 2007

eso es lo que es

EasternBronze posted:

I forgive Korea all of its atrocities against pizza and bread because it's own local food is so good.

Yeah, the first hundred or so combinations of the same three ingredients, after that it gets a little repetitive

EasternBronze
Jul 19, 2011

I registered for the Selective Service! I'm also racist as fuck!
:downsbravo:
Don't forget to ignore me!

ladron posted:

Yeah, the first hundred or so combinations of the same three ingredients, after that it gets a little repetitive

Admittedly when i lived there I did get a bit tired of it.

Grand Fromage
Jan 30, 2006

L-l-look at you bar-bartender, a-a pa-pathetic creature of meat and bone, un-underestimating my l-l-liver's ability to metab-meTABolize t-toxins. How can you p-poison a perfect, immortal alcohOLIC?


EasternBronze posted:

Admittedly when i lived there I did get a bit tired of it.

That's the thing of Korean food. It is very good but the variety is exceptionally limited and it gets old fast. Nowadays I make Korean food two or three times a month and it's delightful every time.

Korean barbecue I could eat every day forever but it's hard to go wrong with grillmeats.

Pirate Radar
Apr 18, 2008

You're not my Ruthie!
You're not my Debbie!
You're not my Sherry!
Putting sugar in everything is a thing in Thailand too. I understand it when it comes to, like, bread, because if bread is an exotic treat then you just think of it as dessert and therefore sweet, so all bread in some bakeries in Thailand is sweet. But then you get, like, people getting bowls of noodle soup and plopping a couple spoonfuls of sugar in there.

StevoMcQueen
Dec 29, 2007
The 'sugar on everything' is the one thing I hate about visiting Korea, because as much as I love sweet things, I want the savoury stuff to be savoury. And the obsession with honey. Bacon and cheese plait? Cover it with honey! Garlic bread? Not without honey! Honey butter chips anyone?

Which is why it further confuses the hell out of me why some of the cakes are bland as gently caress. Go to a dessert cafe, order a piece of layered sponge cake. The sponge tastes of nothing, and the cream is about as sweetened as aerosol can whip cream.

Yet, at no point have I had my wife or her visiting friends complain that western food isn't sweet enough.

Grand Fromage
Jan 30, 2006

L-l-look at you bar-bartender, a-a pa-pathetic creature of meat and bone, un-underestimating my l-l-liver's ability to metab-meTABolize t-toxins. How can you p-poison a perfect, immortal alcohOLIC?


The thing in Korea and China where bread is extremely sweet but cakes are not sweetened or flavored in the slightest remains baffling to me.

LimburgLimbo
Feb 10, 2008
Vietnam sweetens their milk too.

Which is suppose isn't that odd considering milk tea and all the other milk based sweet drinks, but it's rather odd to get a liter of what's literally just plain milk with a bunch of sugar/sweetener inside.

Grand Fromage
Jan 30, 2006

L-l-look at you bar-bartender, a-a pa-pathetic creature of meat and bone, un-underestimating my l-l-liver's ability to metab-meTABolize t-toxins. How can you p-poison a perfect, immortal alcohOLIC?


I was told the reason milk in Korea is so sweet is not because they intentionally sweeten it, but since everybody's lactose intolerant they use an enzyme to remove the lactose, and that process converts the lactose into glucose which tastes much sweeter. I was never able to verify this.

Fleta Mcgurn
Oct 5, 2003

Porpoise noise continues.
Honey butter dried squid was a thing when i left Korea...shudder.

Grouchio
Aug 31, 2014

1. What would you recommend for reading about modern chinese culture?

2. Have we already discussed the fact that dogs in Canton are sometimes boiled alive?

vanity slug
Jul 20, 2010

Grouchio posted:

2. Have we already discussed the fact that dogs in Canton are sometimes boiled alive?

lapdogs of british colonialism, yes

Coolguye
Jul 6, 2011

Required by his programming!

Grand Fromage posted:

I was told the reason milk in Korea is so sweet is not because they intentionally sweeten it, but since everybody's lactose intolerant they use an enzyme to remove the lactose, and that process converts the lactose into glucose which tastes much sweeter. I was never able to verify this.

it's supposed to say lactose free on the side, but this is effectively how they do that, yes. you basically just use an enzyme that pre-digests the lactose and shake it up real good. there's a couple of normal milks on sale in most markets last time i was there. the sweetness taste is so different that i swear to gently caress they add sugar though.

iirc the enzyme itself is literally just a grown version of the human one so the additive itself is well tolerated by basically everyone. exception is if you are allergic to casein, apparently lactose-free milk will kick your rear end twice as hard if you are though i'm unclear on if this is an enzyme interaction or just the fact that the casein is much quicker on the uptake with the carbs pre-digested.

Grand Fromage
Jan 30, 2006

L-l-look at you bar-bartender, a-a pa-pathetic creature of meat and bone, un-underestimating my l-l-liver's ability to metab-meTABolize t-toxins. How can you p-poison a perfect, immortal alcohOLIC?


There's definitely some weird fuckery going on with Korean milk. I wasn't sure until I had some imported American milk again from a PX and the difference was huge.

BioTech
Feb 5, 2007
...drinking myself to sleep again...


Grouchio posted:

1. What would you recommend for reading about modern chinese culture?

Poorly Made in China by Paul Midler

Power Khan
Aug 20, 2011

by Fritz the Horse

Grouchio posted:

1. What would you recommend for reading about modern chinese culture?

2. Have we already discussed the fact that dogs in Canton are sometimes boiled alive?

1. Are you looking to read about modern chinese culture?

2. Sometimes they're also roasted alive with a flamer.

Bajaj
Sep 13, 2017

by FactsAreUseless
Cross-posting because I know some people in this thread like my follies:

Bajaj posted:

Another Tinder SUCCESS story:

Quite a while ago I matched with an educated Thai woman on Tinder and had a good time and good conversation when we met face to face. We talked sometimes afterwards and she seemed interested in me. When we had met the first time she was extremely polite, pleasant, freshly showered and in make up, and full of things to talk about it, and we both felt like we should definitely meet again. There was nothing about her that seemed weird with her actions or ideas, she just seemed like a really nice woman and cool to hang out with. There was no discussion about sex or anything, it was like two people meeting as friends, so it made me feel good to have no pressure for future meetings. We talked recently and she wanted to eat something I cooked at my house and then go out to see a movie nearby.
Last week we made a plan and then a few days after she came on the bus to my area. I asked her to pick up a couple donuts since I don't have any desserts or sugar in my house, and we could eat them after we ate the meal I cooked. She had asked to try my lentil soup and some sandwiches and that's easy for me, so I agreed and went out to buy all the stuff the night before and then had it all prepared so it would be fresh and ready to eat the moment she arrives.

She shows up at my house covered in sweat, hair looking like it hasn't been combed or washed since the last time we met, holding box of donuts, and then sits down on my couch. She also looks like she hasn't had any water in a few days, and her lips are cracked and bloody in a hundred places. We sit for a bit making small talk, but I feel like she doesn't even want to talk or have anything to say, so there are moments of silence that would make the most casual person feel awkward. She's being weird, I have no idea what is going on, or what I feel like she's angry at me about something. Whoever is sitting here is not the woman I met before and have been talking with.
I ask if she's hungry and she said no, she just ate a snack, but if I was hungry I could start without her. I put the donuts on the counter and see the receipt is in the bag. I see the total coming out to double what is in the box (4 donuts, but she bought 8). I ask what snack she had and she said small french fries from McDonald's while she was walking over. She ate fries and 4 donuts, at least that, and was now not hungry. That's rude as gently caress to ask someone to cook you a meal and then go eat something else a few hundred meters down the road literally 10 minutes before you show up. Besides her weird silence, this cemented me wanting this person out of my house as soon as possible. Don't waste my time with that poo poo.

I put my food into the bowl and on the plate and start eating. She says it looks good and asks for some too. I give her a bowl and plate and she takes two bites of the soup. "If I had made this, I would have made really it spicy." Ok, thanks. She takes another couple bites and then says she can't eat soy products. I tell her there are no soy products in what she is eating. She doesn't believe me, the beans must be soy beans. I show her the package of brown lentils and she does a serious frown at me and says she can't eat the soup regardless. I take the bowl and dump it in the trash. She pulls her phone out and starts watching Thai youtube shows at full volume, pretending I am not even in the room.

She asks what movie we will see and I say I am not in the mood for a movie and I need to sleep early and she should take a taxi home. She asks if she can stay the night. I say no. I sit down to finish my meal and she takes her socks off and starts picking skin off her feet. At the time, she pulls a cotton swab out of her purse and starts going to town on her ear with it. Between that, she starts picking her nose and rolling them. In the span of about 30 seconds she made me lose all appetite and then become paranoid with the burning desire to start wiping my house down with different chemical cleansers. I tell her to stop all of this in my house immediately, to go wash her hands, and it's time for her to go home. She then goes to my bathroom and after a moment I hear she's got the lid of the toilet tank off and trying to fix a clog. I have no idea how someone can clog a toilet after 45 seconds. She comes out and sits. I go in the bathroom to see what happened and there's period blood all on the seat and I realize she tried to flush a pad down the toilet and clogged it. I have no idea how she unclogged it, but I don't have a plunger in my house. I am guess her hand??

I tell her she needs to go home and I am tired and she keeps trying to say she wants to sleep here. She hops up and goes and lays bed with her sweaty clothes covered in bus ride germs and I tell her to get off because I had just washed the sheets. Now I'm paranoid as what other filth is clinging to this woman, since her fancy display in my house can't be worse than what she is doing at home or in public. I pull out couple hundred baht and tell her this will pay for her taxi home. She says no need for me to pay for the taxi. She puts her socks back on and her shoes on in my house and tromps around the kitchen for a bit, making sure I have to mop it again, and then I had to escort her out because guests can't get out of my stupid apartment complex without someone with a security card helping them. It was a walk of shame.

She sent me a voice message saying she had a good time and hopes to meet again soon. I have no idea if she was being sarcastic. I don't even know who this person was, because she doesn't match the one I met last time in courtesy and politeness. I guess she might get super moody and weird when on her period, but that's a lovely excuse even if it does make sense. What the gently caress. Nobody new is coming to my house as long as i live here, I don't care anymore. I'm so over this. What the gently caress.

Coolguye
Jul 6, 2011

Required by his programming!
you sure can find em bro

ladron
Sep 15, 2007

eso es lo que es

Grand Fromage posted:

The thing in Korea and China where bread is extremely sweet but cakes are not sweetened or flavored in the slightest remains baffling to me.

I was just talking about this yesterday. Korean cakes are mostly for decoration. You bring them to a party or whatever, everyone takes a pictures, maybe eats a couple mouthfuls with chopsticks, and that's it. They are not really meant to be enjoyed more than visually, which is why they are super dry and have no flavor at all.

can confirm that korean milk was p.good, like cereal milk, and I also heard it was due to something about the pasteurization process, but ath's as far as I cared

Ups_rail
Dec 8, 2006

by Fluffdaddy
hmm I know nothing of thai culture or thai drug culture, but my money is that she is on drugs

vanity slug
Jul 20, 2010

quote:

I don't have a plunger in my house

blatant loving lies

ladron
Sep 15, 2007

eso es lo que es

Bajaj posted:

Cross-posting because I know some people in this thread like my follies:

starts drawing concentric circles of 10 minutes walking distance around all McDonalds in Bkk

"The noose tightens, Plunger, " he said, greasy buckethead gleaming softly in the laptop screen's glow.

Grand Fromage
Jan 30, 2006

L-l-look at you bar-bartender, a-a pa-pathetic creature of meat and bone, un-underestimating my l-l-liver's ability to metab-meTABolize t-toxins. How can you p-poison a perfect, immortal alcohOLIC?


ladron posted:

I was just talking about this yesterday. Korean cakes are mostly for decoration. You bring them to a party or whatever, everyone takes a pictures, maybe eats a couple mouthfuls with chopsticks, and that's it. They are not really meant to be enjoyed more than visually, which is why they are super dry and have no flavor at all.

My experience was Koreans ate the hell out of em and seemed to enjoy it. I never saw a Korean cake survive longer than ten minutes.

They definitely put the emphasis on the visuals though. They're very intricately decorated trash, not just your everyday trash.

ladron
Sep 15, 2007

eso es lo que es

Grand Fromage posted:

My experience was Koreans ate the hell out of em and seemed to enjoy it. I never saw a Korean cake survive longer than ten minutes.

for real? I definitely have never seen that, just nibbled at to break up the alcohol

Grand Fromage
Jan 30, 2006

L-l-look at you bar-bartender, a-a pa-pathetic creature of meat and bone, un-underestimating my l-l-liver's ability to metab-meTABolize t-toxins. How can you p-poison a perfect, immortal alcohOLIC?


ladron posted:

for real? I definitely have never seen that, just nibbled at to break up the alcohol

Yep. I'm not actually sure what food you could put in a room of Korean women that wouldn't immediately disappear like lowering a cow into a piranha pool.

Power Khan
Aug 20, 2011

by Fritz the Horse

Bajaj posted:

Cross-posting because I know some people in this thread like my follies:

Girl recovering from a meth bender?

Pirate Radar
Apr 18, 2008

You're not my Ruthie!
You're not my Debbie!
You're not my Sherry!

ladron posted:

starts drawing concentric circles of 10 minutes walking distance around all McDonalds in Bkk

"The noose tightens, Plunger, " he said, greasy buckethead gleaming softly in the laptop screen's glow.

10 minutes of Thai walking speed or 10 minutes of farang walking speed though

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oohhboy
Jun 8, 2013

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

BioTech posted:

Poorly Made in China by Paul Midler

I second this. His language is even handed but it doesn't take away how hosed up it is. Despite all his experience, contacts and ability as a middleman it is always a trap where he too is helpless. If the stories and news reports this thread gets from time to time it hasn't changed one bit if not worse in different ways.

I also recommend Flying Upside Down by Duke Nukem.

A horrifying look into Chinese aviation practises and culture on a more local level. The language and tone is not as kind. It has real documents showing that yeah, this is is for real. I can attest it veracity as I have personally witnessed their incompetence in a plane crash on the runway and a government report on a crash famous enough to be publicly distributed in the aviation industry from a plane from my school. If you can't find a copy of Flying Upside Down yourself I would be more than happy to send you one. Don't worry, its not :filez: if anyone cares.

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