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Okay bear with me because I realize how far-fetched this one is. I swear this is the last DBZ joke I'll make because we're just about at the end here- That Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee with Alec Baldwin except that Goku is Seinfeld and Vegeta is Baldwin “I think I've worked harder than you and not gotten as far, quite frankly"
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Mar 8, 2018 00:37
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Opening up my Bullshit Store |
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Mar 9, 2018 00:00
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Me sitting quietly in chair thinking "This is too much, i'm overstimulated." |
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Mar 9, 2018 00:03
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Twitter is great. It's like birdwatching but for assholes. |
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Mar 9, 2018 00:05
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A cookbook for the chronically depressed with entries like "This is edible" and "Crying pasta." |
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Mar 9, 2018 00:09
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 "The Dishes: Who Cares?" |
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Mar 9, 2018 00:17
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Saltine crackers: Put saltine crackers on a plate and then eat them. Or don't bother with the plate no one cares we're all going to die sooner or later.
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Mar 9, 2018 00:25
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"Cheeze whizz shooters" |
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Mar 9, 2018 00:28
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ShinyBirdTeeth posted:A cookbook for the chronically depressed with entries like "This is edible" and "Crying pasta." I wrote something like this once, similar concept. ---------------- |
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Mar 9, 2018 00:28
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ShinyBirdTeeth posted:A cookbook for the chronically depressed with entries like "This is edible" and "Crying pasta." grinding pepper into your eyes so you can feel something
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Mar 9, 2018 00:32
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mysterious frankie posted:I wrote something like this once, similar concept. You're the author of Microwave Meals for One?! |
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Mar 9, 2018 00:32
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TVsVeryOwn posted:You're the author of Microwave Meals for One?! man oh manischewitz, I wish! I bet they're rolling in dough! ---------------- |
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Mar 9, 2018 00:35
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food jokez
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Mar 9, 2018 00:35
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mysterious frankie posted:man oh manischewitz, I wish! I bet they're rolling in dough! this is a prime cut |
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Mar 9, 2018 00:38
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Work snack idea: bag of flour |
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Mar 9, 2018 22:12
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IDEA FOR A NEW YORKER COMIC *two apricots sitting in a dehydrator. one is speaking to the other* "...well, yeah, but it's a dry heat." ---------------- |
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Mar 9, 2018 22:24
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sebmojo posted:Work snack idea: bag of flour it's deconstructed bread |
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Mar 9, 2018 22:25
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mysterious frankie posted:IDEA FOR A NEW YORKER COMIC This is a mildly amusing, possibly risible image.
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Mar 9, 2018 23:08
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Getting around town on an enormous swarm of beetles |
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Mar 9, 2018 23:49
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I'm loving Up This Interview Why did I bring so much mayonnaise? This was not a good day to wear my "Eat rear end, Smoke Grass" T-shirt. I guess I should have waited until after the interview to move my stuff into an office, attend the christmas party, have a fling with a coworker, and claim six months of "pet paternity leave" ETA: I should have parked my beetles outside ShinyBirdTeeth fucked around with this message at 00:06 on Mar 10, 2018 |
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Mar 10, 2018 00:03
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sebmojo posted:Work snack idea: bag of flour Gotta stop and smell the flours |
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Mar 10, 2018 02:25
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Robot Made of Meat posted:This is a mildly amusing, possibly risible image. >: ) ---------------- |
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Mar 10, 2018 03:39
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A free D+ public service announcement proposal for anyone in college and doing advertising or public health awareness or whatever projects: A dad in a kitchen (wearing a hoodie and cargo shorts, so we know he's a cool and current dad) turns away from a pot he was just stirring on a stove. Talking on a cellphone, we see him open up a refrigerator door and kneel down behind it while the pot simmers on the burner with the handle jutting over the edge. A narrator intones "Never leave a pot unattended..." as things cut to slow-motion and we see a toddler running into the kitchen towards the stove, followed by the dad springing away from the fridge to tackle his child from behind. The narration then continues, "...not even for a second.", as the two fall together at the base of the stove. We then get an immediate cut to their point-of-view, and see a Xenomorph's pop up in a jump scare from behind the kitchen's island. ---------------- |
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Mar 10, 2018 05:42
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the language of joy, each syllable of pleasure, and the gratitude that such senses as ours were endowed to us by nature so as to permit the fullness of sensation to enter us from every eager avenue, elide now into a sonorous lowing, a throaty benediction unto the blessed moments bestowed by chance or fate, and the incomprehensible turning of our existence which bestows them... basically what I'm saying is that cumming is reeeeal kool.
mysterious frankie fucked around with this message at 06:12 on Mar 10, 2018 ---------------- |
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Mar 10, 2018 06:10
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hello byob  using ur insurance to buy weed but ur weed guy is out of network |
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Mar 10, 2018 07:19
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ShinyBirdTeeth posted:A cookbook for the chronically depressed with entries like "This is edible" and "Crying pasta." a sensible breakfast, an entire hyvee sheet cake for lunch, and sleep for dinner CONFIDENTIALITY NOTICE: |
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Mar 10, 2018 09:50
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Kthulhu5000 posted:A free D+ public service announcement proposal for anyone in college and doing advertising or public health awareness or whatever projects: A good dad. A great xenomorph. Also something about going back in time and making peoples good posts before they can make them. Twenty Four fucked around with this message at 16:43 on Mar 13, 2018
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Mar 10, 2018 14:06
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sebmojo posted:Work snack idea: bag of flour canyoneer posted:it's deconstructed bread trendy restaurant serving a mound of flour slapped onto a piece of slate, a tiny bbowl of salt, a small crumbling cake of yeast, and a jar of water |
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Mar 10, 2018 14:25
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alnilam posted:trendy restaurant serving a mound of flour slapped onto a piece of slate, a tiny bbowl of salt, a small crumbling cake of yeast, and a jar of water i would be shocked if a bay area restaurant hadn't tried this already |
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Mar 10, 2018 14:34
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ghost emoji posted:a sensible breakfast, an entire hyvee sheet cake for lunch, and sleep for dinner I'm having a "whole sheet cake" kind of week. |
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Mar 10, 2018 21:49
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Are jugs of fortissimo and Japanese style peanuts food group, because I have that crud on lockdown
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Mar 10, 2018 22:21
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alnilam posted:trendy restaurant serving a mound of flour slapped onto a piece of slate, a tiny bbowl of salt, a small crumbling cake of yeast, and a jar of water You don't really eat it, so much as you just kind of mix everything together with your hands and run your fingers through it, and then a llama or sheep herding dog licks it off of them. ---------------- |
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Mar 11, 2018 06:32
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Twenty Four posted:A good dad. A great xenomorph. Spoiler: the Xenomorph then runs towards the stove, with a compulsion to grab the handle and knock it off the burner and onto itself. ---------------- |
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Mar 11, 2018 06:33
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Jokes on you: the best food we've ever eaten is a warm deep 'n delicious cake with melty mini eggs on it and a dollop of french vanilla ice cream - but no one ever eats it becuase it is EMBARRASING! |
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Mar 11, 2018 06:40
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me, shirtless, holding a palette and brush "good, you're awake. did you sleep well? I know i did  . What am I doing? Oh, I've just been painting us some breakfast." *spins around easle to show pancakes, bacon, fresh coffee, fried tomatoes, the works*
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Mar 11, 2018 15:57
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albany academy posted:me, shirtless, holding a palette and brush "good, you're awake. did you sleep well? I know i did Can't you paint us up some weed? |
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Mar 11, 2018 18:39
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order of monks who practice self-flatuation |
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Mar 11, 2018 20:45
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City of Glompton posted:order of monks who practice self-flatuation For the last time we're not monks, we just wear bathrobes sometimes and drink a lot of beer |
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Mar 11, 2018 22:23
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I cannot lie and I like big butts, falsehood is like a punch to my gut, and when a girl walks in with tenacity and penchant for mendacity I get sad and sometimes mad ‘cause I notice that I’ve been had |
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Mar 13, 2018 00:21
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| # ? May 11, 2024 10:59 |
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Cubone posted:I cannot lie and I like big butts, |
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Mar 13, 2018 00:26
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