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I'd love to be dwarfed, too (as Mr. or Mrs. Moon, depending on the rng). No preference as to profession, but I am absolutely volunteering for raid duty once we get around to that.
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Mar 12, 2018 09:03
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From the Journal of Oddom "DivineCoffeeBinge" Mersethzulban, Chef, Jeweler, Fortress Founder So we're throwing people into the loving volcano now. That is a thing that is happening. I mean, okay, all right, it was only a human; it's not like it was someone who matters. But still. Like, I still don't really understand it. This one human lady (their women don't even have beards, it's horrifying) shows up with a crossbow and suddenly we're "under siege." But that's okay, we've got Megane, who by the way is utterly loving terrifying, and Megane goes and hammers the poor dumb humie's skull out of its head and welp, siege over. We closed our doors for this? And then - then! - orders come down that we're supposed to throw the dead humie in the volcano. Oh, sure; they'll tell you it's because "oh, we didn't want it rising as a horrifying zombie, like the wool did," which, I mean, fair enough, but this place is chock fuckin' full of Geshud-worshippers, you just know they're trying some kind of horrifying death ritual, that's probably what led us here in the first drat place. "Hey you guys! Look, around these parts unliving flesh is suffused with a dark energy that causes it to rise again and thirst for the blood of the living! Our murderwar god doesn't seem so bad now, does he?" And yet the place keeps filling up - there's more than two score dwarves here now. What kind of loving hooplehead gets the news and decides to come here? Did someone send out tourism brocures or something? "Come to scenic Valleysilences, we have horrifying monstrosities of animate flesh! Fun for all ages!" Boksi's got the right idea; first thing she did when she got here was say "holy hell this place is depressing, I need a drink. We're all gonna need a drink. I'm gonna build a place for us to all have drinks." drat shame she's married, I like the way that girl thinks. Well, at least if she gets the tavern up and running I won't have to deal with hoopleheads coming in here and interrupting me at work all the time. "Oh hi DivineCoffeeBinge, how's life in the brewing business, I need a barrel of beer so I can drown out the memory of the zombie whippoorwill that tried to pluck my eyes out earlier, oh, by the way, have you considered hearing the word of Geshud? He promises that when his reign comes he'll kill his faithful first, so we won't have to endure the reign of the Titanic Demon Turtles! Thanks for the drink!" Atir help us when the nobles start showing up, they'll probably send Megane around to murder half of us in a dark sacrifice to Geshud because some jackass didn't make enough mini-forges
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Mar 12, 2018 09:42
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So I'm a dwarven anarchist, married to Balon who's a soldier three years older than me, gave birth to Thranguy when I was seventeen and then verbal enema when I was twenty-four, and am a future tavern-keeper. It looks like we're doing alright in our shared dream of raising a family, I just hope he doesn't get himself killed. As for gods and religion, all I'm gonna say is that us being here is clearly divine providence. Note that divine providence isn't necessarily a good thing. Oh, and clearly all of reality is a nightmare from which we only escape via blessed inebriation, but you knew that already, right?
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Mar 12, 2018 09:55
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the reactions seem equally split between "oh hell yeah  " and "oh hell no  " and that is niceRadio Free Kobold fucked around with this message at 10:38 on Mar 12, 2018 |
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Mar 12, 2018 10:32
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Journal Entry 1 Unib "Fuubi" Nelaslogem, that's my name. Remember it. We arrived here today, my wife and I, at the base of the Volcano of Torment, and I am already pissed that we missed the human sacrifice last month! I grabbed a nearby female dwarf that smelled faintly of booze and asked her when the next one'll be. She just shook her head and muttered something about wool. The natives sure are strange. Well, I'm here now and there's nothing to do but to make the most of the situation. I've already been assigned to soldiering, which suits me just fine. I hope they assign me a proper sharp axe, as that is the most dwarfish weapon in my opinion. Nothing wrong with a sturdy hammer, or a well-oiled crossbow, but there's something... poetic about limbs that sail off in an arch. My fingers are starting to hurt from all this journaling, so I'll just sign off here for now. -Fuubi
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Mar 12, 2018 11:28
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  The resemblance is uncanny.
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Mar 12, 2018 12:23
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Im a Geshud worshipper whose given name is Geshud. That will prove interesting.
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Mar 12, 2018 12:35
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I take it we're going to have to immediately cremate all of our dead to prevent them from rising up in a zombie apocalypse? I wonder how fast that'll go wrong.
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Mar 12, 2018 14:59
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Waht the hell. Dwarf me please.
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Mar 12, 2018 17:30
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chitoryu12 posted:I take it we're going to have to immediately cremate all of our dead to prevent them from rising up in a zombie apocalypse? Pit them into lava, make sure you build grave markers? ... of course, it's entirely possible that'll result in flaming undead body parts. 
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Mar 12, 2018 17:46
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Epsilon Moonshade posted:Pit them into lava, make sure you build grave markers? I think lava just disintegrates whatever gets thrown in, which is why the human was cremated in there. My concern is that (especially if some disaster kills a bunch of us) we won't have time to cremate the bodies before they rise, resulting in a cascading zombie apocalypse scenario.
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Mar 12, 2018 17:54
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chitoryu12 posted:My concern is that (especially if some disaster kills a bunch of us) we won't have time to cremate the bodies before they rise, resulting in a cascading zombie apocalypse scenario. Yes, that would be truly terrible. 
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Mar 12, 2018 18:13
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Dwarf me. If other races coming and asking to stay here is still a thing, I'd rather not be one of the overabundant performers. Other than that, anything goes.
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Mar 12, 2018 18:24
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chitoryu12 posted:I think lava just disintegrates whatever gets thrown in, which is why the human was cremated in there. My concern is that (especially if some disaster kills a bunch of us) we won't have time to cremate the bodies before they rise, resulting in a cascading zombie apocalypse scenario. Clearly, this means it's necessary to build a system of lava ducts to every room and hall in the fortress for emergency cremations. It's not like this could cause anything else to go horribly wrong.
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Mar 12, 2018 18:34
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chitoryu12 posted:I think lava just disintegrates whatever gets thrown in, which is why the human was cremated in there. My concern is that (especially if some disaster kills a bunch of us) we won't have time to cremate the bodies before they rise, resulting in a cascading zombie apocalypse scenario. Just flood the fort with magma, I'm sure it'll be fine.
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Mar 12, 2018 18:41
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Kassad posted:Clearly, this means it's necessary to build a system of lava ducts to every room and hall in the fortress for emergency cremations. It's not like this could cause anything else to go horribly wrong. Makes a handy Annoying Noble Disposal System, too!
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Mar 12, 2018 18:42
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Hooray, I'm dorfRadio Free Kobold posted:the reactions seem equally split between "oh hell yeah oh hell 
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Mar 12, 2018 18:51
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There really is no recourse but to arrange an Unfortunate Accident when the mayor turns out to really like puzzleboxes.
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Mar 12, 2018 18:53
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What the hell? That's the second time I've created a puzzlebox in a SA DF LP. (the first being Headshoots)
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Mar 12, 2018 18:57
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DivineCoffeeBinge posted:Makes a handy Annoying Noble Disposal System, too! Nobles aren't that bad anymore, not nearly as bad as back in the Boatmurdered days. Most games only have two nobles: the mayor and the baron. The mayor is the guy with the most friends. Kind of hard to control. But you get to appoint the baron yourself, so it's your own fault if you appoint someone with bad preferences. Take my character for example. Her preferences are: maces, socks, crowns. This is an ideal combination. Who doesn't love socks? Crowns are cool as heck. And nothing like an order for maces to break up the weapon smith monotony of hammers and axes. Now some people would say a noble with a weapon preference is a bad idea because it can lead to your most valuable workers getting punished if a production order isn't finished in time. Those people are fools. Facebook Aunt for baron!
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Mar 12, 2018 19:05
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chitoryu12 posted:I think lava just disintegrates whatever gets thrown in, which is why the human was cremated in there. My concern is that (especially if some disaster kills a bunch of us) we won't have time to cremate the bodies before they rise, resulting in a cascading zombie apocalypse scenario. As I recall (unless mechanics have changed,) lava (and anything else high/low temperature) just operates on the materials the body is made up from. It takes a little while for the body to burn away - presumably somewhere between !!on fire!! and xxburnt awayxx, it's possible that it could raise a flaming zombie. Kassad posted:Clearly, this means it's necessary to build a system of lava ducts to every room and hall in the fortress for emergency cremations. It's not like this could cause anything else to go horribly wrong. This is the best and most dwarfy answer.
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Mar 12, 2018 19:06
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Facebook Aunt posted:Nobles aren't that bad anymore, not nearly as bad as back in the Boatmurdered days. Most games only have two nobles: the mayor and the baron. Oh wow, that is a lot better. Last time I played DF was before the introduction of burrows, which was apparently 2014? Jesus. I wonder if I hate myself enough to download the new version and start playing again.
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Mar 12, 2018 19:08
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Facebook Aunt posted:Nobles aren't that bad anymore, not nearly as bad as back in the Boatmurdered days. Most games only have two nobles: the mayor and the baron. Socks? Which are made from wool, which is a (un)dead material? They will probably eat your feet or something.
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Mar 12, 2018 19:22
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Dwarf me, please. No job preference. 
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Mar 12, 2018 21:06
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Kassad posted:Clearly, this means it's necessary to build a system of lava ducts to every room and hall in the fortress for emergency cremations. It's not like this could cause anything else to go horribly wrong. Dwarven Panic Room from which the rest of the fortress can be flooded with lava. As an aside my dwarf is something like 138 years old which means she might actually get to die of old age! That still happens when they turn 150, right?
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Mar 12, 2018 21:18
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Kassad posted:Clearly, this means it's necessary to build a system of lava ducts to every room and hall in the fortress for emergency cremations. It's not like this could cause anything else to go horribly wrong. Such an advanced safety system would naturally require a good many levers to make the best use of it, perhaps a dozen or so. I recommend installing them alongside other essential fortress controls (drawbridges, traps, prisoner cages, etc) for convenience. I'm sure the overseer will leave clear instructions for others as to which lever is which.
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Mar 12, 2018 21:20
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Epsilon Moonshade posted:As I recall (unless mechanics have changed,) lava (and anything else high/low temperature) just operates on the materials the body is made up from. It takes a little while for the body to burn away - presumably somewhere between !!on fire!! and xxburnt awayxx, it's possible that it could raise a flaming zombie. Sounds like we need to test this 
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Mar 12, 2018 21:21
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Anything thrown in a volcano generally falls straight to the Semi-molten rock layer and ceases to exist (and if there happens to be regular rock down there (which happens sometimes) it is at the bottom of a volcano and will have no chance to climb back up before dying. If you want flaming zombies to be a possibility, you'll have to use the magma channel instead of the volcano.
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Mar 12, 2018 21:41
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Gnoman posted:If you want flaming zombies to be a possibility, you'll have to use the magma channel instead of the volcano. Make small channels of decorative magma throughout the fort. A small two-tile brook in the middle of a main hallway with a very pretty bridge over it. Two little gurgling streams bubbling away, lining the main entryway. Magma-filled decorative pillars in prominent public spaces to provide aesthetics and ambient heat. A dug-out underground apartment complex with heated walls.
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Mar 12, 2018 22:30
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Man, I'm a rude chemist who keeps getting into bitter arguments. That's totally not a recipe for someone getting poisoned sooner or later. I'm also not too up to date on Dwarf Fortress, do chemists actually do anything useful?
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Mar 12, 2018 22:45
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I love that I'm an 80 something year old biddy with 5 kids with what looks like a tendency to die if looked at badly. What's the average lifespan of a non lp'ed dwarf?
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Mar 12, 2018 23:11
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ashnjack posted:I love that I'm an 80 something year old biddy with 5 kids with what looks like a tendency to die if looked at badly. If it hasn't changed since a few versions ago: creature_standard.txt posted:[MAXAGE:150:170]
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Mar 12, 2018 23:50
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ashnjack posted:I love that I'm an 80 something year old biddy with 5 kids with what looks like a tendency to die if looked at badly. 120 I think
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Mar 12, 2018 23:50
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Radio Free Kobold posted:Make small channels of decorative magma throughout the fort. A small two-tile brook in the middle of a main hallway with a very pretty bridge over it. Two little gurgling streams bubbling away, lining the main entryway. Magma-filled decorative pillars in prominent public spaces to provide aesthetics and ambient heat. A dug-out underground apartment complex with heated walls. Actually, this would be pretty loving cool to see around the fort. Instead of waterfalls, have magma falls. The accompanying magma mist surely won't hurt anyone, right? I mean, at least it would look cool to see the halls lined with magma channels. There's no way anyone would fall into them, I'm sure.
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Mar 13, 2018 00:30
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neogeo0823 posted:Actually, this would be pretty loving cool to see around the fort. Instead of waterfalls, have magma falls. The accompanying magma mist surely won't hurt anyone, right? I mean, at least it would look cool to see the halls lined with magma channels. There's no way anyone would fall into them, I'm sure. It'd be cool (or "cool" ,) but I think this is crossing the line into willfully screwing up. Maybe if you do them encased in glass though... 
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Mar 13, 2018 00:49
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Dwarf me, please. My skills are drunkenness and incompetence. Oh, and whatever my dwarf gets.
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Mar 13, 2018 01:10
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Journal of M_Gargantua - Priest and overseer of Valleysilences, 4th of Felsite 565: Idhrendur runs by screaming and scaring everyone he passes.  He kicks poor POOL IS CLOSED out of the forges and within minutes is beating away a shape out of silver.  He creates Boundrite the Euphoric Covant, a gorgeous silver toy boat.   The front gate has been expanded to more easily defend while still providing a twisting path for the trade wagons. Any attempt by invaders to run straight through shall result in brutal impalement on dozens of wooden spikes.  28th of Hematie, ravens descend following a human caravan scurrying in to trade under their constant harassment. Mugane and her squad sally forth.  Jamsque is first to arrive, followed by Balon, neither of whom have apparently seen fit to grab one of the many weapons sitting in the forge, instead wrestling the undead raven. And simply punches it into a nearby rock where the frail bird breaks and loses its necromantic aura.  The human traders see this display of brutality and let out a shutter, and are more than glad to part with a good deal of cloth and leather and food in exchange for our masterful stone baubles. Seeing this proud martial display first hand, Frionell requests to join the fortress to continue hunting monsters. Despite being a human it seems reasonable to allow him to reside here until he inevitably meets a dark fate.   4th of Malachite, more immigrants arrive, I sense that they must too be drawn to the majesty of this mountain. Corbeau, another legend in the metalcrafting community and creator of The Hale Skin. U brexit ukip it and Epsilon Moonshade are his aunt and uncle, so it seems that metalwork runs in the family.   And his wife, clockwork chaos, herself a pro stonecrafter and creator of Lulleddrummed. She also was the one to find Chamberwaddles - the legendary 370 year old silver warhammer - and returned it to our queen Momuz Steppemirrors. Chamberwaddles had been a symbol of The Banded Diamonds for hundreds of years, with its silvery beauty and opal encrusting. It had gone missing in 515 after a battle in Mansionrags and its return was triumphant.   Dr Tough, a miner with some military training, yet no medical experience. And yet another cousin of Yeol and Balon  Her husband werewhale, a performer.  Commander Keene, a crossbowman and cousin to Frenzy the Killbot.  Turol  And her Husband PhallicPhalanges  Dallbun who is being recruited into woodworking since we’re behind on production.  And Nuramor, a good poet who will understudy A Bad Place  A Bad Place meanwhile has achieved his dream of mastering a skill. Not that mining was the skill he prefered, but it is the first hard labor he’s ever done in his life. I reward him by telling him to coronate the opening of our new tavern. Build so the stones are kept pleasantly warmed by the heat of the nearby volcano we have dubbed it ‘The Molten Beer.’ A Bad Place lit up with joy and nearly immediately played one of the most beautiful songs i’ve ever heard.  I’m considering as we grow of converting the original dining room into a guest only tavern to minimize the crowding down here. We’ve got more bedrooms that could eventually be repurposed for guest lodging, but our masons and carpenters can’t produce furniture fast enough to even meet the residential requirements of the now 56 strong fortress.  The second big excavation has been an irrigation system and space for farming, soon to be complete so we no longer have to rely on foreign imports.  And still we go deeper in search of resources and truths to ancient mysteries.. M_Gargantua fucked around with this message at 03:38 on Mar 14, 2018 |
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Mar 13, 2018 01:23
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Excellent, glad there's finally a DF LP again. I'd like to be dwarfed as anything at all, please.
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Mar 13, 2018 01:37
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Blast! I'm older than dirt and I still haven't made a true masterwork, then I get kicked out of the forge by that scamp! Who is Doren? Another petty godling or one more creeping horror on the other side of the veil?
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Mar 13, 2018 01:37
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Oh wow, I haven't seen a good old succession fort in ages. Dwarf Me that I might find Glory, Death, and Gory! In that order!
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Mar 13, 2018 01:44
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