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It's time to set my corporate mandated verifiable goals for 2018! Goal: Get paid more than in 2017. OK, I'm good.
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Mar 14, 2018 19:46
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This is what having goals looks like:
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Mar 14, 2018 20:31
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Silly Scott Adams, what are pension funds?
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Mar 14, 2018 20:40
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I don't even remember what my 2018 goals are as established during my performance review. I haven't even seen my review since the actual sit-down part of it with my boss (Jan 2nd), and while we were going to sign it once he finalized it that still hasn't happened. The last time I asked about it like a month ago he just pretended to not hear me and I stopped asking. Also lol if you haven't withheld information on company processes to make yourself appear more valuable, or to at least make laying you off a more painful prospect for your employer.
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Mar 14, 2018 21:23
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Zil posted:Silly Scott Adams, what are pension funds? Something that existed 20 years ago when this strip was written?
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Mar 14, 2018 21:23
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Cat Army
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MightyJoe36 posted:Something that existed 20 years ago when this strip was written? Same time as when you could plan on having a job at the same company for an entire 5 years?
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Mar 14, 2018 21:48
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I was supposed to have my annual goals set by mid February but we're a valuation team which means my VP has been real busy and took vacation this week
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Mar 14, 2018 21:49
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My company got rid of reviews. Now your coach does reviews with senior management and you don’t attend or have any insights to them. It’s... better than filling out 100 forms... but not great.
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Mar 14, 2018 21:52
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I have a final round of interviews tomorrow at a new job. My current place has me so gaslighted that one of the red flags I see is "interested in me"
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Mar 14, 2018 22:02
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Renegret posted:I have a final round of interviews tomorrow at a new job. Good luck!
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Mar 14, 2018 22:37
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Eric the Mauve posted:Remember that Sundae lives in the Bay Area so in normalbucks $74,000 works out to about $5,000 or so I forgot to answer this one, but this is so true it hurts. Even if I take that entire bonus, add it to my non-emergency savings, and add $100K out of my 401k for a primary residence loan (basically all things I'd never, ever do), it's not enough to avoid PMI in my current town on a motherfucking 1BR condo. I'm just going to stockpile it and retire early to Belize or something--makes more sense than trying to buy here. I mean, oh boofuckinghoo and everything given the size of the bonus, but goddamn, California.
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Mar 14, 2018 22:45
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Sundae posted:I forgot to answer this one, but this is so true it hurts. Even if I take that entire bonus, add it to my non-emergency savings, and add $100K out of my 401k for a primary residence loan (basically all things I'd never, ever do), it's not enough to avoid PMI in my current town on a motherfucking 1BR condo. I'm just going to stockpile it and retire early to Belize or something--makes more sense than trying to buy here. If you're willing to commute like an hour during rush hour, there's always EPA! (I bought into the Bay Area, but in 2012 in a rapidly gentrifying area and lucked out. Good investment by accident but do never buy. Not until the next stock market crash, anyway.)
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Mar 15, 2018 01:51
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So today we had training on our new QA software system that is to replace our paper system for change controls. From what I can tell it does the following. Replaces chasing down a few people to get signatures with fill out endless web pages that get longer depending on your answers and then chasing other people down to sign off on these forms Because we don't have enough licenses available changes it from having anyone do the change controls to our overworked group leaders Requires us to add due dates that we don't have in our SOP's and are impossible to predict based on customer feed back, of course we cannot turn this off since its for the whole company and some site wants this This is also getting rammed down our throats even thought we had no say in the set up and doesn't mesh with anything we do now After seeing the presentation for this the guy in production that already gets chewed out by customers for change controls taking too long walked into his VPs office and told him that this system would make his job impossible and if they are going to be using this he will be leaving for new opportunities with our competitor. I really hope i can make it the year or so i need to get enough experience to gtfo
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Mar 15, 2018 02:52
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Shrieking Muppet posted:So today we had training on our new QA software system that is to replace our paper system for change controls. From what I can tell it does the following. Oh hey we have a new Sundae.
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Mar 15, 2018 11:41
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Sundae posted:I forgot to answer this one, but this is so true it hurts. Even if I take that entire bonus, add it to my non-emergency savings, and add $100K out of my 401k for a primary residence loan (basically all things I'd never, ever do), it's not enough to avoid PMI in my current town on a motherfucking 1BR condo. I'm just going to stockpile it and retire early to Belize or something--makes more sense than trying to buy here. Not to mention the taxes you are going to pay on that bonus (assuming they didn't take the taxes off the top).
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Mar 15, 2018 12:06
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FrozenVent posted:Oh hey we have a new Sundae. Kind of like musical chairs except you don’t want the last seat. Since it’s sort of that time of year here is the performance review/raise notice practice in my business unit currently: Corporate HR accidentally sends a company wide email meant only for unit managers. It explains the manager side of the process for requesting raise allocation for their unit as well as deadlines. My unit manager has scheduled our performance reviews (including the forms he requires for raise requests) weeks AFTER the corporate deadline. Every year. So he is intentionally not even requesting funds for anyone doing the actual work. We’ve all peered beyond the veil so after our forms are submitted to him, he doesn’t sign them nor schedules performance review meetings with us. At no point does he mention the process again, our office manager tells us there will be no promotions this year. Corporate adjusted pay grades and today was the first paycheck. So everyone finds out their raise by looking at their pay stub. Which is to say <3% CoL adjustment (I’m still pumped for that sadly) 3 years ago our unit was founded. This last year we became 3rd most profitable and account for 1/8th the company total revenue. How sad is it that I’m missing false pretense of being anything other than an interchangeable cog. 
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Mar 15, 2018 12:27
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MickeyFinn posted:My company pointed a barely shielded directional radiation source at a shared parking lot, which is a step up because it was previously pointed at one of our neighboring companies. The does rate wasn't very high AFAIK, maybe one extremity x-ray an hour off axis and behind a wall, but I doubt anyone would be happy to know they were being irradiated because my company is too cheap to shield. Do the needful.
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Mar 15, 2018 15:33
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I just got my first assignment here where I need to coordinate with someone from another dept, except they're out until Monday and it's the only thing on my plate. This should be well documented info but it's not!
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Mar 15, 2018 18:02
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Hoshi posted:I just got my first assignment here where I need to coordinate with someone from another dept, except they're out until Monday and it's the only thing on my plate. I have not seen a bigger loving joke than corporate onboarding and honestly i wouldn't be surprised if that factored heavily into employee retention. Its always a morning video, an overview of the HR/Ethics/Safety requirements, then right into training modules and half assed ojt with someone who only knows their little part of the world and has no idea what 90% of the company does or stands for. Then we get upset when people are scared to bring up their careers and think themselves into a hole where all they want is to do something else, anywhere, anything because the company didn't have any promise for them
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Mar 15, 2018 18:16
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Crazyweasel posted:I have not seen a bigger loving joke than corporate onboarding and honestly i wouldn't be surprised if that factored heavily into employee retention. I posted ITT a while back about how it appears to be impossible to sit down at your desk, day one, and be able to switch on a PC and start working; because your email's never set up (never mind a signature template), Office isn't installed, and your shared drives aren't set up. Never mind the million-and-one separate things you need passwords for, now that everything's web-based. ...anyway, a week and a half into my current job, my immediate manager was sacked. I like a challenge, and I love to solve problems, but when an expected six-week ramping-up process turns into six days, completely out of the blue... Bonus is, one of the two contracts I've been plunged into is brand-new, and was handled exclusively by said manager; so I'm now keeping two major contracts running, while dealing with 'why isn't [manager] answering emails, please advise', while putting notes together so I can maybe one day take time off, while pretty much learning/making it up as I go. I mean generally people are being Very Understanding, but I want to meet whoever approved that particular firing-squad and punch them square on the goddamn nose.
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Mar 15, 2018 19:29
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so I could say that I finally figured out what this god damned cube is doing. Get well Lowtax.
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spincube posted:...anyway, a week and a half into my current job, my immediate manager was sacked. I like a challenge, and I love to solve problems, but when an expected six-week ramping-up process turns into six days, completely out of the blue... Many years ago, I was hired to be the IT Director at a 50-person reasonably established startup. My supposed peer, who did most of the interviewing and contact during the hiring process was the Director of Development. The previous person in my position had been fired a few months previously for being a complete and total moron, leaving 3 direct reports to fend for themselves. One month later I show up to my first day at work, as scheduled. Development director is clearing out his desk. "Oh, hi. You can take my office. This is my last day. Sorry." Cue CEO walking in, apologizing profusely and asking me if I could do both jobs for now as well as work on hiring another Development Director. In hindsight, I should have walked out the door with the former Development Director.
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Mar 15, 2018 19:43
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I’ve become so used to insane nail-cutting colleague that I’m not sure what is normal and what is not anymore. In one day he: 1. Ate a huge plate of raw mince and nothing else for lunch. Bonus points for this because he sits next to a vegan. 2. Argued with the security guard at the office entrance because he asked him for his ID. This is despite us being constantly reminded we need ID at all times. 3. Screamed at the person who issued him a new ID because one of his names was wasn’t capitalised. 4. Screamed at me because my boss asked me to remind people to empty their boxes from the office move that happened last week. 
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Mar 16, 2018 00:05
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I saw that as "raw mice" at first.
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Mar 16, 2018 00:34
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edit: gently caress this thread
The Sean fucked around with this message at 22:05 on Apr 24, 2020 |
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Mar 16, 2018 01:56
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Dugong posted:I’ve become so used to insane nail-cutting colleague that I’m not sure what is normal and what is not anymore. In one day he: The nail cutting alone established that he is a sociopath so none of the rest is surprising.
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Mar 16, 2018 02:16
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Dugong posted:I’ve become so used to insane nail-cutting colleague that I’m not sure what is normal and what is not anymore. In one day he: Are you sure you're not working with a feral raccoon? Look for the telltale panda-esque face
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Mar 16, 2018 02:17
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Motronic posted:Many years ago, I was hired to be the IT Director at a 50-person reasonably established startup. My supposed peer, who did most of the interviewing and contact during the hiring process was the Director of Development. The previous person in my position had been fired a few months previously for being a complete and total moron, leaving 3 direct reports to fend for themselves. We had and EHS guy leave for another place encounter something similar about 3 days in and after he told his old boss what had happened was back at his former employer in the same exact position.
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Mar 16, 2018 02:40
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Like any of you wouldn’t eat a steak tartare at your desk! Especially around a vegan or vegetarian.
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Mar 16, 2018 02:51
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edit: gently caress this thread
The Sean fucked around with this message at 22:05 on Apr 24, 2020 |
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Mar 16, 2018 04:14
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Higgy posted:Are you sure you're not working with a feral raccoon? Someone asked if he was following a werewolf diet and it did not go down well.
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Mar 16, 2018 06:17
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Shrieking Muppet posted:We had and EHS guy leave for another place encounter something similar about 3 days in and after he told his old boss what had happened was back at his former employer in the same exact position. I didn't mention the poo poo sandwich of this job being my first after selling my previous consulting firm (and not for crazy startup kinda valuations) and moving 8 hours away. There was literally nothing to go back to. I was kinda screwed. And paid for it in sanity.
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Mar 16, 2018 14:28
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Motronic posted:Many years ago, I was hired to be the IT Director at a 50-person reasonably established startup. My supposed peer, who did most of the interviewing and contact during the hiring process was the Director of Development. The previous person in my position had been fired a few months previously for being a complete and total moron, leaving 3 direct reports to fend for themselves. Not exactly the same but at the last IT MSP job I had, I left when I noticed a lot of turnover happening and some of our best senior engineers were leaving. Small company of <100 staff and people noticed management/owners changing some of our internal rules (especially around things related to finances and costs) right after they'd bought a new building for the main office 2 hours away. That same year, nobody got any raises or bonuses but someone noticed that the owners took bonuses without telling anyone and people got pissed. Right after that, owners made a big fuss about "digging into the company savings" to give everyone a paltry bonus, I think each person got like $500. After that, people started leaving in droves, we lost half our project team in 5 months, and within a year over 30% of the staff (mostly engineers but some sales/account management too) had left to go elsewhere. Owners shockingly couldn't afford to bring in any people of the same caliber of the engineers that left, because surprise, nobody wants to take a salary cut compared to what the actual market value of their position is, nor do they want to get thrust into a bunch of projects that are behind schedule. Most of our engineers were working 60+ hour weeks before they left for greener pastures and quite a few realized they were being shafted on pay by anywhere from 35-45%. I quit last year and was making $43k salaried with no OT as a field engineer and routinely working 50-55 hours, I got a better job closer to home making $55k starting, get paid OT for after hours work, no on call, and no company cell to bug me 24/7. They called me back about 7 months after I left to try to offer me more money to come back, I laughed and hung up the phone because gently caress that noise.
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Mar 16, 2018 17:45
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That is basically msp.txt It's literally the business model. I really hate MSPs a lot.
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Mar 16, 2018 18:04
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Me too, last I heard they may be selling to a larger MSP in the near future, there are at least 3 larger ones in our area and some of our engineers went there because I guess they're masochists or some poo poo
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Mar 16, 2018 18:23
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Yeah, I went with the state agency that actually does the permitting. They were surprised to find that we hadn't once been inspected and said it was about time they came and took a look. The best possible outcome is that I'm wrong, I guess we shall see if they follow through.
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Mar 16, 2018 19:46
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MSP means what? Some kind of outsourcing?
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Mar 16, 2018 20:58
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Tnuctip posted:MSP means what? Some kind of outsourcing? I think so, it's Managed Service Provider. So instead of employing an in-house IT crew, you can just pay a boatload of money to have somebody else manage your IT needs.
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Mar 16, 2018 20:59
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darthbob88 posted:I think so, it's Managed Service Provider. So instead of employing an in-house IT crew, you can just pay a boatload of money to have somebody else manage your IT needs. Correct. And in turn they hire 2-3 decent experienced people as sales engineers, who then sell 50 people worth of work which is done by 40 right-out-of-school kids who are being overworked, underpaid and under supervised. It works out as well as you would assume.
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Mar 16, 2018 21:01
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Oh, we have one of those for part of our IT stuff that goes between sites. I think we basically never need to call them for maintenance only new setup, anything that goes wrong is either the ISP or literally inside a building so it works out okay
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Mar 16, 2018 21:02
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Shugojin posted:Oh, we have one of those for part of our IT stuff that goes between sites. So you're using them as remote hands, not really management. That can work out - and what I've used them for in the past for customers and employers who were too dumb to realize that remote hands at an Equinix facility is most times better than the MSP, and certainly less expensive. It's when you start getting into more of the managed services where the real problems begin. Almost no continuity of knowledge because of the revolving door, often times lovely documentation if there is any at all, incompatible documentation, CRM and ticketing systems (multiples of each from all of the mergers).
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Mar 16, 2018 21:41
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