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ignoring this murder mystery to play on my 2ds |
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Mar 13, 2018 02:22
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a nuclear spill gives us all superpowers, but i need to 100% Evinrude Presents: Bass Grabber |
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Mar 13, 2018 02:23
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two identical men. one has the codes, one is an impostor. I decide to watch Frasier on netflix. |
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Mar 13, 2018 02:25
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Cubone posted:I cannot lie and I like big butts, CONFIDENTIALITY NOTICE: |
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Mar 13, 2018 03:58
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something about going back in time and making peoples good posts before they can make them
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Mar 13, 2018 16:25
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If you asked a hundred people to name one thing about Sir Mix A-lot, 99 of them would say "he likes big butts". I think there are several more noteworthy things about him in that song. Namely, HE CANNOT LIE and HE OWNS AN ANACONDA. Um, hello, he's basically Jim Carrey's character from Liar Liar and also I don't think it's legal to own an anaconda but he does. Why aren't more people talking about this?
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Mar 13, 2018 16:37
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spectres of autism posted:something about going back in time and making peoples good posts before they can make them *Checks time travel log* Check last page of this thread buddy! https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3817675&pagenumber=48&perpage=40#post482030771 I'm a time lord!
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Mar 13, 2018 16:44
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My name's Big Steve and I fart and leave, my dojo's in a volcano, when a dude walks in with a wink and a grin, I suppress women's rights again. *and then the song comes out and everyone wants to talk about how Steve farts* Wake up people, there's more to him than the dang farts.
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Mar 13, 2018 16:48
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Twenty Four posted:*Checks time travel log* don't make me come over there (to the wrong timeline) ---------------- |
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Mar 13, 2018 17:16
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I'm posting from the timeline where all my dad jokes and puns are actually funny. I know they are white noise or disruptive in this timeline, but they are a real hit where I'm from. |
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Mar 13, 2018 17:53
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Me: Look, all I'm saying is that if he can do it why is it a big deal when I do it? This is discriminatory. Cops: sir, that is a bird, and for the last time you cannot swim naked in this public fountain |
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Mar 13, 2018 18:14
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| Using goatse as your phone background to own snoopers | |
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Mar 13, 2018 20:28
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vanisher posted:Me: Look, all I'm saying is that if he can do it why is it a big deal when I do it? This is discriminatory. |
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Mar 13, 2018 20:40
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A criminal case depends on a subject being interrogated admitting that he knows about goatse. The detective interrogating looks down at his wedding ring and gets an idea. He heads to the kitchen to find the widest mouthed coffee mug he can find and brings it back to the interrogation room with him. "Man, this sure is a wide mug. Why, I bet I could fit all of my fingers in this mug..." *the detective grips the mug with his palms and slides each of his fingers around the brim inside the mug, then turns his knuckles towards the man* *the suspects face flashes a sign of recognition* *the detective smirks* "goat ya"
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Mar 13, 2018 20:45
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Jolo posted:A criminal case depends on a subject being interrogated admitting that he knows about goatse. The detective interrogating looks down at his wedding ring and gets an idea. He heads to the kitchen to find the widest mouthed coffee mug he can find and brings it back to the interrogation room with him. Years ago a goon made one or maybe a bunch of this mug. It was funny!
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Mar 14, 2018 00:41
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What does a golfer say before a swing on Pi Day? three point one FOOORE |
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Mar 14, 2018 17:04
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imagining a timeline in which presidents day falls on 3/14 an overwhelming bipartisan majority passes legislation setting the value of pi for that day only to exactly three point one fourscore and seven cut to satellites falling out of the sky, gears refusing to turn, hats no longer fitting correctly, etc |
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Mar 14, 2018 17:36
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"three point one four score and seven years ago-" the speech grinds to a halt as the crowd confusedly tries to figue out how many years that comes out to the event is a disaster, the north is demoralized, history is forever altered ---------------- |
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Mar 17, 2018 09:04
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Today we celebrate the life of an Irishman who, on the 17th of march- ran out of whiskey when the stores were all closed. To pass the time, he went on a wild goose chase shooing all the snakes out of Ireland. We commemorate this occasion by drinking a lot and asking ourselves "wait, were there REALLY that many snakes in Ireland, or is that what happens when you run out of booze? And wouldn't it be a wild snake chase?" Stay safe, friends. https://i.imgur.com/QKTkerO.mp4 |
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Mar 17, 2018 15:41
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surreal estate agent
CONFIDENTIALITY NOTICE: |
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Mar 17, 2018 19:19
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ghost emoji posted:surreal estate agent
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Mar 17, 2018 19:57
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Splatmaster posted:Today we celebrate the life of an Irishman who, on the 17th of march- ran out of whiskey when the stores were all closed. To pass the time, he went on a wild goose chase shooing all the snakes out of Ireland. "Yeah, he drove all the snakes out of Ireland, but honestly, there was only like 3 or 4 of them someone accidentally brought over on a boat. I mean, cool that he had like a stick and a net or whatever, but it hardly seems holiday worthy!"
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Mar 18, 2018 12:46
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Q: What did Steven Spielberg? A: Cincinnati, Ohio  
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Mar 18, 2018 19:47
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Spacey. Sturgess. Bosworth. 21 2: 21er. Coming to theatres December 21st, 2021. |
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Mar 19, 2018 23:30
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Cubone posted:Q: What did Steven Spielberg? finally the timeless question, answered, |
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Mar 20, 2018 02:44
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A contractor tried to use a protractor as a murder weapon and nullified his own existence...
https://i.imgur.com/QKTkerO.mp4 |
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Mar 20, 2018 14:40
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Splatmaster posted:A contractor tried to use a protractor as a murder weapon and nullified his own existence... and/or transformed into a john deere in a sudden puff of smoke |
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Mar 20, 2018 16:10
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Splatmaster posted:A contractor tried to use a protractor as a murder weapon and nullified his own existence... Manifisto posted:and/or transformed into a john deere in a sudden puff of smoke lol |
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Mar 20, 2018 17:25
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There's a little known but quite distinguished dinner club in New York City, for the very elite old-money set. Being a ritzy place, etiquette and behavioral decorum rule everything. But one principle above all has been observed and upheld since the club's funding so very long ago: that everyone, from waitstaff and cooks to the club's elderly and diminishing clientele, must communicate in baby talk.
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Mar 21, 2018 05:20
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duck goes into college, gets a geo degree “geoduck”s the punchline with an innuendo to a dong |
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Mar 21, 2018 07:28
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Schroedinger's Duckgoose During the game of duck duck goose, every person is in a state of both duck and goose. The duck/goose purgatory will continue without end until the dictator decides each person's fate.
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Mar 21, 2018 15:18
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Jolo posted:Schroedinger's Duckgoose |
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Mar 21, 2018 15:23
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Kthulhu5000 posted:There's a little known but quite distinguished dinner club in New York City, for the very elite old-money set. Being a ritzy place, etiquette and behavioral decorum rule everything. But one principle above all has been observed and upheld since the club's funding so very long ago: that everyone, from waitstaff and cooks to the club's elderly and diminishing clientele, must communicate in baby talk. |
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Mar 21, 2018 16:52
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just trying to get through another day with my head stuck in this pickle jar |
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Mar 22, 2018 03:30
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sometimes life gives you a break, sometimes it breaks you, and sometimes your foot gets jammed in an industrial-sized can of nacho toppins. |
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Mar 22, 2018 03:31
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on a date lookin for smooches with a swell lady, but also wrangling a pallet jack and ten thousand unsalted pretzels. |
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Mar 22, 2018 03:32
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As the Flat Earth Party candidate for 2020, I say we must give a higher priority to building the wall. No, not on the border with Mexico, but around the rim of the earth. To keep out the REAL illegal aliens. Aliens that will not only take your job, but also everything else of value that we hold dear. And I hear you ask "But won't this make the earth fill up with water when you block the draining around the rim?" and to that I say No, we will install drains in the wall that will allow the water to still pour out over the rim of the earth. Infrastructure is important, but nothing is more important than the safety and protection of all of earth's taxpayers, and that is why this is so critical. Plus, we will need all kinds of labor, skilled and unskilled, to make this happen. Constructing the rim wall will be a massive undertaking, and here's where we kill two birds with one stone, and take care of unemployment: Rim jobs. All of you will be eligible for Rim jobs - you ma'am get a Rim job, and you sir get a Rim job, and you get a Rim job. Uncle Sam wants You - to receive a Rim job. Of course, construction for this wall will be funded by Mexico. |
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Mar 22, 2018 07:31
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Area grandmothers prepare for "all out war" over church yard sale "It will be a cold day in hell before Cynthia Lopez runs this show," said incumbent chairwoman Tricia McMurphy. "Mrs. McMurphy is simply too old and tired to handle the stress of another [Milton County Interfaith] Yardsale," answered Lopez. "There's no reason to burden someone so fragile," continued the grandmother of 3. Religious leaders urged peace on all participants, but informed observers expect the whisper campaign will get worse before it gets better. |
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Mar 22, 2018 13:44
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scientists eager to test the "no stupid question" hypothesis are constructing a Superconducting Stupidinquirer in the foothills of switzerland. at a cost of two billion euro, this machine will employ cutting edge technology and state of the art scientific techniques in an effort to determine once and for all whether there are in fact no stupid questions. it is theorized that discovery of an as-yet-unseen fundamental particle, the bozon, would permit the construction of an inquiry that is not merely misguided or naive, but actually flat-out stupid. |
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Mar 22, 2018 17:03
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| # ? May 11, 2024 13:22 |
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Manifisto posted:scientists eager to test the "no stupid question" hypothesis are constructing a Superconducting Stupidinquirer in the foothills of switzerland. at a cost of two billion euro, this machine will employ cutting edge technology and state of the art scientific techniques in an effort to determine once and for all whether there are in fact no stupid questions. it is theorized that discovery of an as-yet-unseen fundamental particle, the bozon, would permit the construction of an inquiry that is not merely misguided or naive, but actually flat-out stupid. lol bozon |
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Mar 22, 2018 17:06
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