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don’t be an idiot like me and get lazy with meds after orchi stick to your schedule
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Mar 14, 2018 13:23
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| # ? Jun 1, 2024 19:57 |
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Hello thread. I've been silently reading and not saying much because it's not my place to do so. I have a specific question here that I think this place is the best place for me to ask to get an answer, but I'm aware this may not be the kind of questions you want in here in the first place since this is not a Q/A place and there's a decent derail potential. If that's a problem, let me know, I'll take the post down and replace it with an apology. In the meanwhile, I'll spoiler the whole thing. So back somewhere between 2009 and 2012, I published a section of my Erlang book on a feature called 'trap_exit', and since the book is full of little drawings and puns, the section is titled it's a trap! after the admiral ackbar meme, with an image to go with it: http://learnyousomeerlang.com/errors-and-processes#its-a-trap I was mostly aware of the meme and pop culture reference having to do with general traps and bait and switches, but tonight I've received an email from an engineering student who affirms that the meme is mainly meant to be derogative in the context of transgender people (as per 4chan memes) and is asking me to take the picture down, possibly in future versions. What's the take of people here? Is this an interpretation you'd make by default? Is this the kind of content you'd rather see avoided or mostly you wouldn't think twice about it and you'd have the same interpretation I have (the inoffensive one)? MononcQc fucked around with this message at 20:30 on Mar 18, 2018 |
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Mar 18, 2018 03:55
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MononcQc posted:Hello thread. I've been silently reading and not saying much because it's not my place to do so. The original thing is a reference to a scene in Star Wars, where the "trap" is literally a trap set for the Rebel Alliance. The word "trap" as a dysphemism for trans people came much later and wasn't in the original meme, but it got co-opted as such and that's what it means now  . I can't really make the call as to whether it should be removed or not, but I just wanted to clarify the background here.
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Mar 18, 2018 04:13
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Either way holy heck are people still making those jokes in either context? :|
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Mar 18, 2018 04:13
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i guess your interpretation of ackbar depends on what era of culture you grew up in. my star wars phase was when the www barely existed, so when i see the image i just remember the scene from the movie. i do remember seeing the meme used to describe images of trans women on 4chan circa 2005. i also know from working with high schoolers that ~kids these days~ don't really remember the first star wars trilogy -- so i could believe that if you were born after 9/11 and you spend a lot of time on the internet the first association you make with ackbar would be the 4chan crap. i guess he's become a pepe. what is it with amphibians anyway
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Mar 18, 2018 05:36
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ive never associated the full phrase "It's a trap" with anything other than star wars fish dude but i was also around before the 4chan trap poo poo started
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Mar 18, 2018 06:18
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id consider the phrase 'its a trap' to specifically be a star wars reference, whereas just 'traps' as a noun would refer to trans women in an insensitive way. in other words, id consider 'its a trap' to be dated but not offensive. this is doubly so given the adjacent ackbar image which itself clarifies what's being referred to there. who knows, maybe ackbar got ruined too? i havent seen anything to indicate that. if it did then it'd certainly have happened long after the book was originally published. regardless, 'its a trap' hasn't aged all that well, so maybe replace it with an 'all your base' or 'pak chooie unf' reference instead?
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Mar 18, 2018 06:27
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while i've seen the "its a trap" meme used in that context it seems to be more of an exception than a rule, and i definitely wouldn't associate the two automatically, so I think you're good
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Mar 18, 2018 06:50
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MononcQc posted:Hello thread. I've been silently reading and not saying much because it's not my place to do so. the person who contacted you is too online and also "transsexual" is also an offensive and outdated term so if they used that word they probably have quite a few weird ideas. a picture from star wars with a quote from star wars is not transphobic outside of the context of responding to a post about a transgender person.
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Mar 18, 2018 08:19
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I get the idea that non-lgbtqia+ people itt are a bit too shy. As long as you're respectful and mindful of the issues and people's feelings when asking questions it should be okay right? Like apologizing profusely beforehand and spoilering stuff tells me you're actually scared to ask these questions. IMO it would be really bad if people were prevented to ask questions simply because they're scared to accidentally step on someone's toes right? Does that not stifle meaningful discussion and people learning about lgbtqia+ issues? People who are curious and could benefit from learning about these issues. How many people are lurking here, too scared to participate? Once again, as long as the discourse is respectful and not (intentionally) hurtful. What does everyone think about this?
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Mar 18, 2018 10:26
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it’s a fine line between asking candid honest questions and "When PoC are expected to educate white ppl as to their humanity, when women are expected to educate men, lesbians and gay men are expected to educate the heterosexual world, the oppressors maintain their position and evade their responsibility for their own actions" -Audre Lorde
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Mar 18, 2018 11:25
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evil_bunnY posted:it’s a fine line between asking candid honest questions and on the other hand I think most of the people lurking itt recognize that they are idiot dipshit oppressors in some way and wish to learn how so they don’t keep doing that; in a way they are not evading their responsibility but owning it and hoping not to make the same mistake again obviously concern trolls exist so maybe it’s not the best of things to do but idk where else I would learn this info from
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Mar 18, 2018 11:49
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FAT32 SHAMER posted:on the other hand I think most of the people lurking itt recognize that they are idiot dipshit oppressors in some way and wish to learn how so they don’t keep doing that; in a way they are not evading their responsibility but owning it and hoping not to make the same mistake again
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Mar 18, 2018 12:46
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spankmeister posted:I get the idea that non-lgbtqia+ people itt are a bit too shy. As long as you're respectful and mindful of the issues and people's feelings when asking questions it should be okay right? So far reading this thread, this was mostly a thread full of discussion for and by lgbtqia+ people, in a space declared to be intended as such. What I didn't want to do is derail it into a random Q/A thread for the rest of folks just because there's a 'convenient' place to do it, knowing that memes + censorship + whatever is an amazing lightning rod for that.
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Mar 18, 2018 14:49
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Cool thread. I took a break from the pos for a while because the sheer negativity was getting tiresome, so I'm really glad to see that this kind of thread is thriving on here.
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Mar 18, 2018 15:00
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MononcQc posted:So far reading this thread, this was mostly a thread full of discussion for and by lgbtqia+ people, in a space declared to be intended as such. What I didn't want to do is derail it into a random Q/A thread for the rest of folks just because there's a 'convenient' place to do it, knowing that memes + censorship + whatever is an amazing lightning rod for that. This is exactly why I lurk. I'm already learning so, so much about how to do better without burdening you all or making things about me.
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Mar 18, 2018 18:08
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spankmeister posted:I get the idea that non-lgbtqia+ people itt are a bit too shy. As long as you're respectful and mindful of the issues and people's feelings when asking questions it should be okay right? This is primarily for queer yosposters to talk about their own issues. People can ask questions if they want, but they shouldn't expect answers and they should try to avoid posting stuff that's hurtful to look at. Just look what happened earlier when someone "helpfully" asked about Dave Chappelle's really awful trans jokes. All it did was hurt people and make the thread suck. We're not here to teach people, and we're not here to hear about the latest offensive thing you've heard about us. We're here to talk about our own issues, particularly the issues of being queer in technical fields. I invite straight people to lurk, but you need to be really careful with your posts because we've had several instances now of people deeply misunderstanding the context they're walking into and saying hurtful poo poo.
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Mar 18, 2018 18:36
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cis autodrag posted:This is primarily for queer yosposters to talk about their own issues. I had to teach a bunch of (old, white, male) colleagues about non-binary identities the other day. I was nervous but they listened and asked good questions. A success, I think. This week I'm going to work on the paper (I've mentioned in other threads) about hormones and what we've observed about how they affect serotoninergic drugs in my study. I'm excited. 
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Mar 18, 2018 18:49
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hi i'm gay and not cis. i didn't realise that there was this thread
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Mar 18, 2018 19:52
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Lain Iwakura posted:hi i'm gay and not cis. i didn't realise that there was this thread Heya friend.  Welcome.
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Mar 18, 2018 20:04
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Lain Iwakura posted:hi i'm gay and not cis. i didn't realise that there was this thread oh i was wondering when you'd show up, i kinda thought you were just busy or something or i would have mentioned it in the sec thread 
Shame Boy fucked around with this message at 22:31 on Mar 18, 2018 |
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Mar 18, 2018 22:28
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welcome to the thread!
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Mar 18, 2018 22:36
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Lain Iwakura posted:hi i'm gay and not cis. i didn't realise that there was this thread Welcome sec gently caress lady
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Mar 18, 2018 23:00
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WrenP-Complete posted:I had to teach a bunch of (old, white, male) colleagues about non-binary identities the other day. I was nervous but they listened and asked good questions. A success, I think. This is why I'm stealth at work. The only person who knows is the goon who recruited me and my boss since I kinda needed to explain why I have to work from home so much.
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Mar 18, 2018 23:01
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cis autodrag posted:This is why I'm stealth at work. The only person who knows is the goon who recruited me and my boss since I kinda needed to explain why I have to work from home so much. Can you say more about what you mean, please? Why are you stealth at work? So you don't need to educate colleagues or because of a serotonin thing...? Edit: this is probably obvious to people who aren't thinking about serotonin all day. I feel silly but it was a genuine question. WrenP-Complete fucked around with this message at 00:46 on Mar 19, 2018 |
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Mar 19, 2018 00:42
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WrenP-Complete posted:Can you say more about what you mean, please? Why are you stealth at work? So you don't need to educate colleagues or because of a serotonin thing...? beyond all the other valid reasons (and who needs a reason anyways), i took her post to mean she doesn't want to become a go-to q&a source for all things trans at work. being comfortable/enthusiastic about doing that is a personal thing, but when you're in a minority a lot of people implicitly expect that you're willing to fill that role.
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Mar 19, 2018 00:50
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Yes, no one needs to justify themselves. She said "this is why" so I was trying to respectfully ask for clarification/more information.
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Mar 19, 2018 01:11
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I don't want to do Q&A time all day, basically. Also cis people treat your differently when they know regardless of how open they claim to be. There was a lady at my old job who had met me 100 times and would still loudly ask me about my pronouns every time I saw her, regardless of who was in earshot, for example. And I hate being asked about pronouns to begin with. I told you already, I'm a woman. But they just can't resist assuming that all trans people have to be treated a different special way and they're somehow enlightened by harassing you with unprompted questions instead of waiting to be loving told what to do.
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Mar 19, 2018 01:16
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cis autodrag posted:I don't want to do Q&A time all day, basically. Got it - that makes sense. Thank you for clarifying. For some reason I connected it to the serotonin and hormones thing I've been thinking about all day and was like "hmmm how are these factors connected in your experience?" But the not wanting to do Q&A factor is much simpler, I'm a dork, lmao. And it sucks that people are obnoxious. I'm sorry to hear about people being lovely to you.
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Mar 19, 2018 01:22
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a while back at work our customer started asking us to make the gender field a dropdown with several choices instead of just a binary male/female, which is at least a step in the right direction. once this was announced at a meeting everyone first was super confused ("why would you need more than two genders?????") and then everyone's head practically swiveled over to me, in unison, because i'm The Gay One so obviously i know what this bizarre gay sorcery must be about. basically i assume the experience is like that but a million times worse
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Mar 19, 2018 01:52
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https://twitter.com/psygnisfive/status/973989125807161344
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Mar 19, 2018 01:58
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ate all the Oreos posted:bizarre gay sorcery oh but if I were a username-changing kind of poster
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Mar 19, 2018 02:08
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nice
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Mar 19, 2018 02:14
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Picking a new name was fun (I went with the sound of my favorite bird call)
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Mar 19, 2018 02:58
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I have a huge favour to ask of people in this thread. I saw a therapist for the first time on Thursday and we talked about generalities. I mentioned I started questioning because of an online community, but I have a terrible head for specifics so I couldn’t really say much. Would people mind if I copy small snippets of what resonated with me, pasted in to a word doc, which I would print and take with me to my next session. I would also take it back after so that the person wouldn’t have a copy after. Absolutely no pressure as I recognize words here aren’t meant for anyone else. PMs acceptable for notifications. I have a week until my next appointment.
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Mar 19, 2018 03:11
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keyboard vomit posted:Picking a new name was fun funny coincidence, my name is also https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Owj52XhoxI
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Mar 19, 2018 03:30
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ate all the Oreos posted:oh i was wondering when you'd show up, i kinda thought you were just busy or something or i would have mentioned it in the sec thread yeah! i sort of don't spend a lot of time on the forums and most of it is on twitter or various slacks. when i do have time i don't generally venture into general yospos as much as i used to. just sort of a consequence of sorting my life stuff out and having different priorities also thanks for the warm welcomes. i am happy to be amongst my fellow yosqueers
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Mar 19, 2018 04:27
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Avenging_Mikon posted:I have a huge favour to ask of people in this thread. i mean i can't speak for everyone in this thread but if you're just gonna use them privately to show your therapist i can't imagine anyone would mind
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Mar 19, 2018 04:47
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i'm less than a month (like four weeks) from a year since i decided to transition and came out. i'm not going to talk too much about this but i have surgical assessments this week. it has been a wild ride. i'm always happy to take questions about it but if you want to ever ask in private i am chill provided that you understand that i only want to speak to other trans femmes about specifics, et cetera i have a blog post penned for april 11th Lain Iwakura fucked around with this message at 05:05 on Mar 19, 2018 |
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Mar 19, 2018 04:58
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| # ? Jun 1, 2024 19:57 |
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ate all the Oreos posted:i mean i can't speak for everyone in this thread but if you're just gonna use them privately to show your therapist i can't imagine anyone would mind I didn’t figure it would be a big deal, but I felt more comfortable asking first. I’m Canadian, so overly-polite is the default :p
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Mar 19, 2018 06:12
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