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potatoducks posted:I exercise my human right to poo poo on other humans. Yes, yes, we all post in the Zaurg thread.
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# ? Mar 23, 2018 12:15 |
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# ? May 30, 2024 14:08 |
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https://www.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/86h39l/me_27f_with_my_husband_29m_moved_to_horse_farm_my/ This is a long one. Quoting all of it in case it gets deleted Me [27F] with my husband [29M]: moved to horse farm (my dream!) after 1 year of marriage; he wants to get rid of the horses in a year or divorce quote:tl:dr: husband of two years dropped that he is no longer interested in having horses and doesn't want to live on our property once we can move in ~1 year. I have to choose - keep the horses and end up divorced or give up my life's hobby/passion for my husband
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# ? Mar 23, 2018 14:52 |
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I'm going to vote horse-lady on this one. It sounds like the husband is making stupid monetary mistakes and instead of taking responsibility is trying to balance the budget on his wife's hobby. Also LOL on him getting a new job with a significant pay raise which now means they have less money.
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# ? Mar 23, 2018 15:04 |
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Uterine Lineup posted:https://www.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/86h39l/me_27f_with_my_husband_29m_moved_to_horse_farm_my/ She should just start selling Scentsy or LuLaRoe to bring in some extra cash like a #bossbabe. Maybe she should start a business selling essential oils for horses. Think of the market of stupid people she could sell to!
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# ? Mar 23, 2018 15:08 |
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Krispy Wafer posted:I'm going to vote horse-lady on this one. It sounds like the husband is making stupid monetary mistakes and instead of taking responsibility is trying to balance the budget on his wife's hobby. Yea, husband is the bigger rear end in a top hat here. He buys a big truck, putting them more into debt, doesn't participate in any chores, and then complains when the wife spends all her time doing chores. Guess what buddy? They would get done twice as fast if you helped. Also starting and abandoning two hobbies, also costing them more money. My guess is wife pushed for the horse farm, and husband rolled over. Now he's regretting it and looking for a way out. I doubt even selling and moving to a closer place with less maintenance saves this marriage. He seems like its horses or me. Also, the last part where he brings up how much she makes is a real rear end in a top hat move. It's a marriage, he shouldn't be holding it over her head. Beside, they're making like $160k combined, they should not be having money issues.
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# ? Mar 23, 2018 15:15 |
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She should tell him that if they get rid of the horses he has to get rid of the truck, the stupid expensive rifle, and actually do some chores.
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# ? Mar 23, 2018 15:25 |
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They're both bad with money and bad at being in a relationship. Also she started out with 2 horses, now they're up to 3 horses and a donkey. No wonder she's doing chores all of the time. He sounds like an rear end in a top hat if he's bringing up divorce every time they have an argument.
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# ? Mar 23, 2018 15:30 |
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Inept posted:They're both bad with money and bad at being in a relationship. Also she started out with 2 horses, now they're up to 3 horses and a donkey. No wonder she's doing chores all of the time. He sounds like an rear end in a top hat if he's bringing up divorce every time they have an argument. Wait, are we against donkeys now too? Because I think we're about to see a BWM civil war.
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# ? Mar 23, 2018 15:32 |
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It's a match made in poverty. He's an idiot for the unnecessary truck- doesn't want to live in the country, but wants a pricey truck? But her hobby sounds like a money pit, despite her red herring thrown in about selling something for a profit. You know neither are going to give up the horses or the truck
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# ? Mar 23, 2018 15:36 |
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This is every country song waiting to happen at once.
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# ? Mar 23, 2018 15:45 |
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Inept posted:They're both bad with money and bad at being in a relationship. Also she started out with 2 horses, now they're up to 3 horses and a donkey. No wonder she's doing chores all of the time. He sounds like an rear end in a top hat if he's bringing up divorce every time they have an argument. IMO, this is closest to the mark probably. They need to seek counseling if they want to stay together. From the way I read it, he’s commuting an hour each way, working a full 8 hours, teaching 3 nights a week and all day Saturday and filling his free time working on fixing the house. The gym, truck and rifle were dumb purchases (if they couldn’t afford it, which they can’t), but I don’t fault him for wanting to use the gym or have a hobby (hunting) and never getting a chance to use it, or being so exhausted and depressed that he doesn’t feel like it. I hate trucks, but a sensible truck may have made sense if they were going to live in the country, do home/barn repair necessitating trips to hardware stores and need to transport things like bales of hay, perhaps not the monster that it sounds like he bought. Despite not wanting to give up her hobbies and interests (understandable), she sounds like she is approaching it rationally though and he sounds like he’s a bit of an rear end in a top hat, but maybe he’s depressed (on top of being an idiot).
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# ? Mar 23, 2018 15:50 |
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Hoodwinker posted:This is every country song waiting to happen at once. I wish I could agree with you but I am not getting vibes of "Christmas in Prison" OR "My Son Calls Another Man Daddy" just yet.
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# ? Mar 23, 2018 15:58 |
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therobit posted:I wish I could agree with you but I am not getting vibes of "Christmas in Prison" OR "My Son Calls Another Man Daddy" just yet.
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# ? Mar 23, 2018 16:00 |
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If his response is to issue the nuclear bomb of marital threats whenever things go sideways then he's already made his decision. He's making more money, she's not, and he reminds her of that. He's also got a new truck and is working a lot of hours so he's cheating on her. There's definitely a young woman whose telling her girlfriends that he's going to leave his horses any day now. He's hoping she picks the horses over him and he can get out guilt free.
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# ? Mar 23, 2018 16:57 |
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Oh man, what a huge mess. This is the good stuff. Serious lol that they used to make the exact same amount of money but now he's throwing out the "if you made 120k we could discuss, but..." I don't think it's inherently wrong that he used to be on board with their Play Harvest Moon lifestyle and isn't anymore. My partner and I have moved cities together and eventually one of us said "actually I really hate it here... Can we consider moving?" and I didn't grudge her for changing her mind or whatever. But she didn't say "we move or I divorce you" which is pretty key. It's totally this Krispy Wafer posted:
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# ? Mar 23, 2018 17:31 |
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Pretty sure he still wouldn’t be alimony free, though. That would hurt the whole expensive truck and shooting hobbies (precision rifle is like throwing three quarters to a two dollar bill downrange with every trigger pull).
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# ? Mar 23, 2018 17:36 |
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22 Eargesplitten posted:Pretty sure he still wouldn’t be alimony free, though. That would hurt the whole expensive truck and shooting hobbies (precision rifle is like throwing three quarters to a two dollar bill downrange with every trigger pull). In their 20s, married less than a year, and until very recently had the same salary = alimony??
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# ? Mar 23, 2018 17:39 |
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There’s no alimony. Depending on whether there’s joint debt or equity in the house, it could be painful to divorce - but he won’t have to ever talk to her again.
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# ? Mar 23, 2018 17:48 |
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Oh wait, less than a year? I thought they had been married longer than that and just moved there last year.
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# ? Mar 23, 2018 17:48 |
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Fiancés mom spent $1100+ on her (my fiancés) credit card, without her knowing. https://www.reddit.com/r/personalfinance/comments/86kuuo/fianc%E9s_mom_spent_1100_on_her_my_fianc%E9s_credit/ quote:First of all I just want to say I cannot make this up. My fiancés brother just went to jail for shooting a B.B. gun at a Taco Bell window because they didn’t give him “the correct change”, very stupid I know. Her mother asked her to co-sign on a loan to bail him out, obviously she said no. Her mother had one of her credit cards and has apparently been using it for months without her knowledge. A lot of charges on the card talking to her brother in jail is how we found out. Recently she tried to get it back and her mother wouldn’t give it to her. She originally had it to “help build her credit” about a year ago. I didn’t know about this. The statements have been going to her moms address from where she lived before we moved into our own place. Her mother finally gave the card back yesterday and the balance was over $1100+. She also asked my fiancé to do a cash advance for almost $2000 to help bail him out and we said no. Now she’s saying she will not pay for the balance on the card and has blocked our numbers. Because we won’t bail him out of jail. We have called the bank and closed the card. Reported it to the fraud department and will file a police report if no response from her mother within the next few days.
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# ? Mar 23, 2018 19:03 |
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Uterine Lineup posted:Fiancés mom spent $1100+ on her (my fiancés) credit card, without her knowing. Obviously the mom is a huge scumbag here; but why do so many people not check their statements? Sure the paper ones went to the mom's address, but you can easily check this stuff online. Presumably she was paying the bill, so she knew stuff was due. How the hell do you let a thousand dollars get charged without knowing? I have an authorized user for one of my cards (which isn't the case for this story, apparently it is straight fraud) and I know if they spend even a single cent. How? I have text alerts set up to send me a text anytime something is charged. I do this for my other cards too so that I'll be able to tell if an unauthorized charge happens right away. Hopefully the mom pays up so they can avoid having to file a police report and declare all the charged fraudulent, but hot
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# ? Mar 23, 2018 19:12 |
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Yeah, they should just go to her house, tell her that if she doesn’t pay they are filing a police report, and walk away before she starts the guilt trip. Or the first way she hears about it could be the police coming to her door and they could tell her it’s because she blocked their numbers.
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# ? Mar 23, 2018 19:17 |
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Reading PF and legaladvice, how many parents outright gently caress their kids over financially? I can’t believe how many posts I read that are about how parents took out student loans in their kids names, credit cards, want them to use their SSNs to buy a house, etc.
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# ? Mar 23, 2018 20:00 |
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Another big one was setting up all the utilities under their kid’s name/SSN while they’re still minors. There’s an uncomfortable amount of scumbag parents out there.
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# ? Mar 23, 2018 20:03 |
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Let's all just acknowledge the fact his fiance is actually willing to open a police report, which most family members never do. So at the very least she should get the credit card charges removed and if she's lucky the mom will disown her.
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# ? Mar 23, 2018 20:22 |
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Doesn’t that depend on how old the charges are?
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# ? Mar 23, 2018 20:27 |
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Raldikuk posted:I have an authorized user for one of my cards (which isn't the case for this story, apparently it is straight fraud) and I know if they spend even a single cent. How? I have text alerts set up to send me a text anytime something is charged. I do this for my other cards too so that I'll be able to tell if an unauthorized charge happens right away. I have text alerts for one of my cards I barely use but it doesn't send a text until charges clear and are no longer pending so usually like 3 days. Pretty useless. Barclays is poo poo
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# ? Mar 23, 2018 20:39 |
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The Slack Lagoon posted:I have text alerts for one of my cards I barely use but it doesn't send a text until charges clear and are no longer pending so usually like 3 days. Pretty useless. Barclays is poo poo That's pretty hosed up and useless and makes it a bit more difficult to track. But even then it's a few clicks to log in to the website to see. At the very least this should be done before forking money over. I wonder what percentage of people pay bills without looking at them. Not me though, I put every bill under a microscope and will bitch about any incorrect charge; it's the principle of it all. If they screw you on something small without correcting it they'll do even worse with something big.
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# ? Mar 23, 2018 20:56 |
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Yeah, I do hourly sampling of my home’s power usage so I know the utility company isn’t cheating me.
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# ? Mar 23, 2018 21:02 |
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Raldikuk posted:Obviously the mom is a huge scumbag here; but why do so many people not check their statements? Sure the paper ones went to the mom's address, but you can easily check this stuff online. Presumably she was paying the bill, so she knew stuff was due. How the hell do you let a thousand dollars get charged without knowing? It's a huge pain in the rear end. Most people don't want to think about their finances every day let alone get 10 texts about various charges to their credit cards. Autopay is so easy. Credit card companies are usually pretty good about sending fraud alerts regarding random charges. Most of the big fraud issues come from family members. If your family doesn't suck you don't really need to work about it.
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# ? Mar 23, 2018 21:09 |
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Aside from locking your credit down, there is no way to stop family fraud. They know your personal data; they can guess your challenge questions. It's like trying to secure a computer someone has physical access to. You can't do it. All you can do is minimize the damage.
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# ? Mar 23, 2018 21:25 |
Krispy Wafer posted:Aside from locking your credit down, there is no way to stop family fraud. They know your personal data; they can guess your challenge questions. It's like trying to secure a computer someone has physical access to. You can't do it. All you can do is minimize the damage. Well, no, the way to stop it is after the fact, file a police report for fraud and the bank will probably refund your money once it's clear it's fraud.
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# ? Mar 23, 2018 21:28 |
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Krispy Wafer posted:They know your personal data; they can guess your challenge questions. Am I the only one that treats challenge questions as simply another password? I don't actually answer the question with anything relevant to what it asks.
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# ? Mar 23, 2018 21:37 |
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metallicaeg posted:Am I the only one that treats challenge questions as simply another password? I don't actually answer the question with anything relevant to what it asks. So what do you do for websites with 3 challenge questions and they don't let you use the same "answer" for all 3? And what do you do when you have multiple financial institutions that all demand this? This isn't sarcastic or snarky, I genuinely want to know what your system is. I tried to do this, but if your "answer" has nothing to do with the question, how do you remember the answer to a recovery question when challenged? I have enough trouble remembering my important passwords. How do I remeber 3 additional "passwords" per important site? If you reuse, fair enough, probably more secure to say "my answer to a car question is password1 and my answer to a pet question is password2" than use a real car and pet, but now it's still cross-site and exploitable. And I guess you could write it all down but heaven help if you lose that post-it.
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# ? Mar 23, 2018 21:47 |
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I use a password manager, have it generate random strings that I use for the answers, and then store the question and answer in the password manager as well. Works great. Except for the one time I got locked out of Vanguard cause of Mint failing the 2FA challenge too many times and I had to call them and explain over the phone that my first pet was named s62&%dfGt0, or whatever.
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# ? Mar 23, 2018 21:53 |
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legendof posted:I use a password manager, have it generate random strings that I use for the answers, and then store the question and answer in the password manager as well. Same, also, that second thing is why I use pronounceable strings from LastPass for the answers. Makes it a little easier.
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# ? Mar 23, 2018 22:07 |
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Oh man, the day I discovered the 'use non-ambiguous characters' button in LastPass was a red letter day in the Wafer household. No more l or I problems. So now when LastPass leaks all my passwords, the hackers will have no problem logging into everything I have. Another trick I've learned after Yahoo leaked my Apple ID was to create separate email accounts for your most important stuff. That way a leak of your main email account won't risk a breach of your bank or Apple ID. That works best when you own your own domain so you can create stevejobslovechild@mydomain.com. Which is great when you have to call Apple for support.
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# ? Mar 23, 2018 22:30 |
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You can also use aliases in Gmail: myemail+facebook@gmail.com myemail+ebay@gmail.com Both go to myemail@gmail.com. Not every system will let you register with an email containing a +, but most do, and it's useful for a) preventing scripted attack tools from reusing your creds, and b) letting you know which rear end in a top hat site sold your email address to spammers. It does mean that I have to look up what email address I'm registered under sometimes (was it +facebook or just +fb?) but I use a password manager anyway, so shrug.
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# ? Mar 23, 2018 22:38 |
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Subjunctive posted:Yeah, I do hourly sampling of my home’s power usage so I know the utility company isn’t cheating me. This is the finance forum, do you really think logging in to your bank once every 1-3 days to check up on things is irrational or a chore?
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# ? Mar 23, 2018 22:38 |
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# ? May 30, 2024 14:08 |
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potatoducks posted:It's a huge pain in the rear end. Most people don't want to think about their finances every day let alone get 10 texts about various charges to their credit cards. Autopay is so easy. Credit card companies are usually pretty good about sending fraud alerts regarding random charges. Most of the big fraud issues come from family members. If your family doesn't suck you don't really need to work about it. Getting 10 text messages isn't that big of a deal for me and it keeps me aware immediately of when the charges happen (which I like to do for my authorized user so I can keep track of how much they've spent, since my CC company doesn't break it down for me). I can understand why one would want to avoid getting texts all the time if they were the sole user, but that doesn't excuse not looking at statements at the very least. Autopay is very easy but I would never pay a bill without looking at the charges they're assessing. Text alerts + checking statements wouldn't have prevented all of the charges, but it would have stopped a lot of them (assuming person reports card stolen ofc) and would have made them aware of those charges a lot sooner. The texts are also great because it eliminates my need for receipts. If I forget how much something was between paying and entering, I just pop open my text and see exactly what was charged. I could load the mobile app to do the same but the text is substantially easier. Ofc in my experience the vast majority of people don't manually track expenses, so perhaps a moo point for most.
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# ? Mar 23, 2018 22:44 |