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heavyset wizard called gandalf the wide |
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Mar 22, 2018 18:59
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| # ? May 11, 2024 07:44 |
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Fair but mean signs from God A giant jellyfish appears in the water stain on my ceiling. "Yes, fine, I will take a walk." Jellyfish wiggles. "ALRIGHT. A jog. Jesus." |
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Mar 22, 2018 19:27
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I'm getting back to nature by gradually dissolving in a compost heap |
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Mar 22, 2018 19:36
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ShinyBirdTeeth posted:I'm getting back to nature by gradually dissolving in a compost heap |
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Mar 22, 2018 19:45
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ShinyBirdTeeth posted:I'm getting back to nature by gradually dissolving in a compost heap Making my bed of lettuce, laying in it, feeling pretty drat cool and crispy ALL THE TIME. ---------------- |
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Mar 23, 2018 00:05
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ready player one but the only character the author can think of is air bud so he just keeps using air bud |
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Mar 23, 2018 04:39
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ready player one but it’s all forgettable children’s films from the mid-90’s and he keeps referring to them by name so you’re having trouble keeping track of if this is the “rookie of the year” or the “kid in king arthur’s court” just then, daniel stern pretending to be a scoutmaster and sinbad the secret service agent assigned to protect the president’s son flew in on the sea monster from “magic in the water”, held aloft by the duck airplane from “fly away home” e: also the polar bear from “alaska” was there e: and the leeches from “the amazing panda adventure” e: and the jonathan taylor thomas pinnochio, and the monkey from “monkey trouble” but NOT dunston from “dunston checks in”– too many people actually remember that one for some reason Cubone fucked around with this message at 05:19 on Mar 23, 2018 |
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Mar 23, 2018 04:48
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1995 - Magic in the Water 1996 - Loch Ness 2005 - Mee-Shee: The Water Giant 2007 - The Water Horse 2015-2017? ZERO children’s movies about large friendly lake monsters. what gives, hollywood? |
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Mar 23, 2018 05:09
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I put on my visor and logged into the oasis. I saw a lamp in front of me. I walked over to the lamp. I used my hand to rub the lamp. A genie came out of the lamp and it was Kazaam from the film Kazaam. Kazaam is a 1996 American musical fantasy comedy film directed by Paul Michael Glaser, written by Christian Ford and Roger Soffer based on a story by Glaser, and starring Shaquille O'Neal as the title character, a "5,000"-year-old genie who appears from a magic boombox to grant a boy three wishes.The film was released on July 17, 1996, grossing $19 million on its $20 million budget. I said "Hello Kazaam." Kazaam said "hello C0olguy1." Kazzam knew who I was already because I'm a cool guy. Then suddenly there was a loud noise. "Holy crap Lois!" I said. The phrase holy crap Lois is from the Cartoon Family Guy. Family Guy is an American animated sitcom created by Seth MacFarlane for the Fox Broadcasting Company. The series centers on the Griffins, a family consisting of parents Peter and Lois; their children, Meg, Chris, and Stewie; and their anthropomorphic pet dog, Brian. The show is set in the fictional city of Quahog, Rhode Island, and exhibits much of its humor in the form of metafictional cutaway gags that often lampoon American culture. uuugggghhhh ok that's enough. Writing like this hurts my brain.
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Mar 23, 2018 16:36
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Crossposting from gbs. In context it was kind of a lame post but it did give me a thread idea. Therefore I title this one "Cultists in the Office"SciFiDownBeat posted:[walking into the big meeting with the glyph of Sho'grarlpleth, The Grand Demon of Insanity tattooed to my forehead] Thanks everyone, I'd like to go over these customer utilization reports |
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Mar 24, 2018 01:15
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InfoWario, where you replace alex jones withawario, or maybe replace wario with alex jones, or have audio of alex jones talking but then sometimes you put wario things in
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Mar 24, 2018 23:52
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Looking to one up each other in the Kobe beef game and get ahead of the competition, Japanese beef ranchers engage in ever more lucrative claims about the production of the beef, in order to bolster the appeal of their beef. It held the gaze of a newborn baby for thirty seconds, or a beautiful woman stroked it, or a particularly cute Shiba Inu panted near it. Just inane bullshit claim after bullshit claim, doubling and tripling and so on to hype up the meat. Things get so ludicrous that soon sprawling epics are being written about the beef's production, complete with cattle vendettas, observations of Heian court society, slice-of-life manga, yakuza brawls, and ecchi anime pinups. And all revolving around and culminating in a particularly pampered cow being slaughtered and butchered into some pretty rare and exclusive beef. So please pay your 10,000 yen per kilogram of this fine beef? ---------------- |
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Mar 26, 2018 05:37
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cda posted:InfoWario, where you replace alex jones withawario, or maybe replace wario with alex jones, or have audio of alex jones talking but then sometimes you put wario things in I want this. Potentially dangerous though, because I trust Wario more than Jones.
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Mar 26, 2018 13:52
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Bruce Banner at a water park: HULK SPLASH! https://i.imgur.com/QKTkerO.mp4 |
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Mar 26, 2018 14:12
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Aquaman rolls his eyes and sighs. "you don't have to say it every time"
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Mar 26, 2018 14:16
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alnilam posted:Aquaman rolls his eyes and sighs. "you don't have to say it every time" Spawn shows up and says, "you fucks wanna turn my cape into a hellish slip n slide? I'm Spawn and the thing I'm known for is my huge cape" |
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Mar 26, 2018 15:17
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Deadpool: I haven't had this much fun since I said "Negasonic Teenage Warhead" out loud! |
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Mar 26, 2018 17:15
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Ready Player One guy is reading this thread frantically scribbling down notes for Ready Player Two. "This is gold, Jerry. GOLD!"
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Mar 26, 2018 17:23
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George Costanza showing up in Ready Player One in a cameo with Jerry Seinfeld |
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Mar 26, 2018 18:23
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A giant, forty story Kramer opens a giant, forty story apartment door onto the face of the iron giant, who pratfalls and crushes hundred of pop culture references. Megakramer: *gulping sounds* |
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Mar 26, 2018 18:27
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Ready Kramer One These <references> are making me <adjective>!
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Mar 26, 2018 18:42
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Jolo posted:Ready Kramer One fruit gushers / horny |
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Mar 26, 2018 18:49
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Jolo posted:Ready Kramer One Manifisto posted:fruit gushers / horny I just didn't want to be the first person to say it.
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Mar 27, 2018 01:14
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Hot dogs are my favourite kind of sandwich |
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Mar 27, 2018 01:19
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SciFiDownBeat posted:George Costanza showing up in Ready Player One in a cameo with Jerry Seinfeld At least three nerds in the world have sexual fantasies about George and Jerry showing up at their domicile with a Pizza Hut Bigfoot Pizza, a case of Great Bluedini Kool-Aid Bursts, and a Sega Master System. And after the pizza has been consumed, and the Great Bluedini sipped, and the Alex Kidd in Miracle World beaten, a quick bit of shrugging "I'm down with a threesome if you're down with a threesome!" banter between George and Jerry leads to some consensual and pleasant double-teaming of said nerd. I'm probably being way too vanilla and tame with what people are actually jacking and jilling off to these days, however. ---------------- |
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Mar 27, 2018 01:56
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Jason Alexander releases a Youtube video tomorrow. It features him in close-up, sitting in a chair next to a fireplace. His head is slumped over to one side, and a nearly empty bottle of Wild Turkey bourbon is standing up on one of his knees, clasped by his left hand. In remorseful, sobbing, drunken tones, he tearfully confesses to lying to America for decades. He moans and wails about the harm he's caused, the damage he's done, the lives he's ruined (indeed, caused to mortally end) with the deception he helped perpetuate for so long. The McDLT was all bullshit. Pure bullshit. The hot did not stay hot, the cool did not stay cool. It was a runny, slippery, lukewarm wet mess of a burger conceived in a hurried rush to meet the three month new product cycle timeline within the McDonald's corporation. He breaks down and just completely sobs for five minutes, hiccuping a bit in the process. Then he gets up, tosses the bourbon bottle into the fireplace, and we see a bit of alcohol flame flare in at Jason as he leans his palm forward to turn off the camera. What most will fail to notice is the very faint, near-subliminal whisper during his prolonged sobbing, wherein Jason says "I ran cocaine for a Panamanian expatriate power elite during Seinfeld, killed people with my own hands to maintain my cover, and have a cocaine slave plantation in the Bolivian mountain forests I will run to if needed. You will forgive me for this, for mirth has lowered your defenses. I am not George Costanza. You will hate me for this. But you remember him so fondly, you will forgive me anyway." ---------------- |
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Mar 27, 2018 02:08
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Kthulhu5000 posted:At least three nerds in the world have sexual fantasies about George and Jerry showing up at their domicile with a Pizza Hut Bigfoot Pizza, a case of Great Bluedini Kool-Aid Bursts, and a Sega Master System. And after the pizza has been consumed, and the Great Bluedini sipped, and the Alex Kidd in Miracle World beaten, a quick bit of shrugging "I'm down with a threesome if you're down with a threesome!" banter between George and Jerry leads to some consensual and pleasant double-teaming of said nerd. I dunno and frankly don't care whether this is true. really the only thing that is sad about it if true is the introduction of specific brands to sex fantasies. and if you think about it it's gotta happen sooner or later. pizza delivery guy porn brought to you by dominos or whatever. it will all get commodified eventually. I'd buy that for a dollar! does chuck tingle have anything about getting it on directly with corporate brands asking for a friend actually I googled it (although I barely needed to) and yep the internet wanted to bang erin esurance, parody is almost impossible these days |
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Mar 27, 2018 02:17
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albany academy posted:Hot dogs are my favourite kind of sandwich I've heard of way too many inhalation-related fatalities to believe this of hot dogs. A "sandwich" should be safe to eat from any angle, and not have its center component potentially fly down one's windpipe (fatally blocking it) if eaten from the wrong angle during a strong inhale. ---------------- |
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Mar 27, 2018 02:21
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Manifisto posted:I dunno and frankly don't care whether this is true. really the only thing that is sad about it if true is the introduction of specific brands to sex fantasies. and if you think about it it's gotta happen sooner or later. pizza delivery guy porn brought to you by dominos or whatever. it will all get commodified eventually. I'd buy that for a dollar! https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3765007&pagenumber=1215#post482545523 I replied to this in the Yob chat thread (should be viewable at the link above). I didn't want to derail this thread a bunch with a big old hemp-fueled brain dropping like that. ---------------- |
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Mar 27, 2018 03:34
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Look at these fluffy kittens. The way they paw at nothing. Chase nothing. Mew at nothing. For just 99 cents a day, the price of a cup of coffee, you can help these poor kittens. Your 99 cents is used to buy vests and sashes for these frisky felines. Ribbons can be tied to tails, bells to collars, not to mention: tiaras! Dazzle your loved ones with Hollywood-style 'glamour puss' headshots of your very own adoptopuss! *Adoptopuss, an 8 legged cat, is lowered from the sky* "Hear me! Donate now to receive this 'Magic Kittens: United Princess Alliance' Tote-bag! The power is yours!" |
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Mar 27, 2018 09:37
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Manifisto posted:the internet wanted to bang erin esurance The company had to retire the character because if you did a google image search of their company name you got lots and lots of porn of her and no official insurance stuff whatsoever.
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Mar 27, 2018 19:45
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Kthulhu5000 posted:https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3765007&pagenumber=1215#post482545523 **adds "hemp-fueled brain dropping" to lexicon** https://i.imgur.com/QKTkerO.mp4 |
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Mar 27, 2018 20:21
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Koishi Komeiji posted:The company had to retire the character because if you did a google image search of their company name you got lots and lots of porn of her and no official insurance stuff whatsoever. https://priceonomics.com/how-esurance-lost-its-mascot-to-the-internet/ quote:“When you’re in a board room designing a corporate mascot, gender is always a part of the conversation,” Brewe says. “And that conversation always goes, ‘Do we make the zebra a woman or a man? Let’s make it a man, because there won’t be as much porn of it.’” chairman of the board: our thanks to the creative team for that outstanding presentation about our new mascot. you've answered nearly all of our questions . . . except one. creative lead: well thank you but, uh, what's the issue? chairman: I regret that we even have to bring this up, but in a word: fuckability creative lead: come again? chairman: fuckability. you know, will people want to gently caress the mascot? other board member: will there be porn of it, and if so, like a regular amount of porn, or just a ton of it? chairman: what will people be fantasizing about with respect to our new mascot, that's we want to know creative lead: well uh, do you, uh, want it to be fuckable? other board member: you tell us! that's what we're paying you for! creative lead: . . . but it's a talking toilet paper roll chairman, settling back in his seat, fingertips touching his nose: go on |
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Mar 27, 2018 22:36
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Manifisto posted:https://priceonomics.com/how-esurance-lost-its-mascot-to-the-internet/ The Brawny man, Mr. Clean, Mr. Whipple...advertisers really knew a thing or two about injecting some sub-surface sexiness into the American household goods space. ---------------- |
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Mar 28, 2018 06:18
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goatse guy dies -> hello.jpg is renamed goodbye.jpg 
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Mar 28, 2018 08:14
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Buzz, your girlfriend, meeeeoowwwww.
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Mar 28, 2018 13:41
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Buzz, your girlfriend, awooooooouu (wolf howl) |
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Mar 28, 2018 14:00
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"The author is dead" - Barthes "Barthes is dead" - an author |
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Mar 28, 2018 18:06
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As a bonus that joke is probably factually correct, as someone likely wrote, or authored, an obituary for barthes, which by its nature could be paraphrased as "barthes is dead" |
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Mar 28, 2018 18:07
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| # ? May 11, 2024 07:44 |
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"Don'thes havehes ahes cowhes manhes." -Barthes |
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Mar 28, 2018 18:18
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