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That is some A+ kidwork. Crap. Welcome to page 59, folks.
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Feb 28, 2018 19:50
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| # ? May 22, 2024 06:21 |
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Per my aunt tonight, evidently she was teaching her grandson about heartbeats and he proclaimed that his heart was full of boobies.
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Mar 1, 2018 04:54
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Mar 1, 2018 09:42
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same
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Mar 1, 2018 09:54
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Astrofig posted:Per my aunt tonight, evidently she was teaching her grandson about heartbeats and he proclaimed that his heart was full of boobies. Heck, same
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Mar 1, 2018 18:33
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R: Look at me! I have two chins! ME: Okay... P: Me, too! (Both girls pull their heads back to give themselves double chins) ME: I see... R: Paddy Sullivan. ME: What? R: That's my two-chin's name. P: Mine is Benny Sullivan! R: They're married. Ok Fleta Mcgurn has a new favorite as of 18:47 on Mar 1, 2018 |
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Mar 1, 2018 18:38
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Randaconda posted:same good avatar/post combo
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Mar 1, 2018 19:44
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I'm sitting in the school library and a 5th grade boy is walking through to get to his classroom, just saying "Cheese. Cheese. Cheese." to himself with every step he takes. I say "Well, I guess I can tell what's on your mind!" Him: "Yeah... *grins knowingly* Barbecue sauce." *turns abruptly and resumes repeating the word "cheese"*
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Mar 2, 2018 02:55
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https://twitter.com/TheJoelWillis/status/970091285142032384
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Mar 7, 2018 22:54
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sweeperbravo posted:I'm sitting in the school library and a 5th grade boy is walking through to get to his classroom, just saying "Cheese. Cheese. Cheese." to himself with every step he takes. drat, that's actually some pretty quick wit on that turnaround.
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Mar 8, 2018 06:45
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 Hasa Diga Eebowai!
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Mar 8, 2018 09:58
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FELD1 posted:drat, that's actually some pretty quick wit on that turnaround. I chuckled about it to myself for a good long while. Really wasn't expecting him to respond at all, honestly.
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Mar 8, 2018 23:16
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J: Mr Calexio d'you know whores? Me: ... what? J: WHORES! You know, they're like pigs. Me: I... what do you... D: I think he means boars. J: Yeah, boars! They're like pigs. D'you know 'em? Me: *filled with relief* Yeah, I know about boars. J: Good.
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Mar 9, 2018 06:31
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Calexio posted:J: Mr Calexio d'you know whores?
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Mar 9, 2018 08:14
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Bore witness to the most adorable thing at work yesterday. ( = the kid who must've been about 4 or 5,  = his dad) *yelling to his dad who's at the salad bar about 30 feet away* DADDY! DAAADDDDYYYY! DAAAAADDDDDYYYYYYYY!!!! *looks over* ... I love you 
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Mar 18, 2018 12:59
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One of the preschool classes came in for their first visit to the school library. I got, like, five hugs straight off, and jokingly said, "Wow, hugs already?" Their teacher kind of rolled her eyes and said, "Yup, we're four, we hug everything..." One little girl did a full  and said, "SOME of us are five!"Also, I brought in a professional storyteller for a few class sessions. She is awesome, but doesn't understand that she talks too fast for some of our ELLs. The first graders were doing one where she brought up volunteers and fed them the lines: STORYTELLER: This is Alex, the businessman! ALEX: I'm not a busy man.  The story continued as the businessman obtained a wife and brought her home. WIFE: This house is too small! So the STORYTELLER: *whispering* tell her, 'my wife says our house is too small.* ALEX:  MY WIFE IS TOO SMALL!!!!!!!
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Mar 20, 2018 15:55
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My daughter thinks her temporary stick-on bee tattoo will last forever, even when she's a skeleton. Missing the opportunity to ask how a skeleton has a tattoo I asked if she'll be a spooky skeleton "No, I'll be a pretty one with hair" *Thoughtful moment* "I'll still chase people and scare them though"
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Mar 20, 2018 16:19
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Background: I was wearing a black-and-white t-shirt of the old-school Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Like, original-comics Turtles. Kid is also wearing a Turtles shirt, but some incarnation that she, presumably, watches. Kid: Are those the Ninja Turtles? Like mine! Me: Yes, they are! You're very smart. Kid: (with the most indignant face I've seen on anyone) No they are NOT! Me: But {name}, they are! See, here's Leonardo, here's Raphael, here's- Kid: THE TURTLES ARE GWEEEEEEEEEN! THOSE ARE WHITE! (to fully visualize this, it's that pose kids do when they aren't sure if they are just mad or think they are gonna start beating your rear end) Me: No no, it's just a black and white tshirt! These Turtles are green, too. It's okay! Kid: Ohhhh, okay. (pause) Those aren't good Turtles, mine are better. (walks away) MisterBibs has a new favorite as of 00:46 on Mar 22, 2018 |
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Mar 22, 2018 00:39
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 Let's play class! I'm Miss Fleta. *Clears throat* STOP FARTING IN THE LIBRARY! Now I'm going to read a book about a dead guy. *opens book* There was a guy and he is dead. The end..... I can't say it's inaccurate. There's a first grader who comes in every day and tells me, "I want a book about dead people." After a lot of trial and error, we discovered that he likes looking at WWII pictures.  he's her classmate, so I assume that's where the dead guy thing came from.
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Mar 22, 2018 12:03
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I will never stop farting in the library https://twitter.com/KidsWriteJokes/status/976742332749045760
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Mar 22, 2018 13:00
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Pastry of the Year posted:I will never stop farting in the library If they're the silent but deadly kind, I see no reason for the librarian to get mad.
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Mar 22, 2018 13:26
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Lap-sitter farts  Kid nearly gave me a hot pocket.
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Mar 22, 2018 13:37
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my daughter, playing her guitar "No, no, no. You can't run! No, no, no. You can't run into the street! No, no, no. You'll get smashed by a car! No, no, no~! ♡"
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Mar 22, 2018 19:41
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Pastry of the Year posted:I will never stop farting in the library While at story time last week Nova blasted rear end SO LOUD three times, causing the volunteer to stop reading. After the tooting Nova stood and announced "The farts are MEEEEE"
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Mar 22, 2018 20:55
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owning your farts is a good headstart to being fearless. kiddos going places.
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Mar 22, 2018 21:40
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The other day, my 4yo daughter and I were waiting to pick my wife/her mom up from work and she asked me to reach my arm back near her. When I complied, she yelled TICKLE TICKLE TICKLE! and faux-tickled me through my coat. When I reciprocated, she got the most disdainful look on her face. “You can’t tickle me, Dada.” Like I’m the dumbest gently caress ever to breathe. “My coat is protective.”
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Mar 23, 2018 07:29
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For the first time in my kids life, I shaved my beard. My almost 6 year old daughter told me that my beard was bald and I look yucky. I had a couple of days of stubble and she gave me a kiss on the cheek and then goes "daddy your face hurts me im not gonna kiss you anymore" and then kissed my hand
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Mar 24, 2018 03:50
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drat she savage af
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Mar 24, 2018 14:58
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U-DO Burger posted:drat she savage af She is low-key my fav
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Mar 25, 2018 02:38
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ME and my 3 year old: Dada, what color is green? They say there are no dumb questions, but... Oh, OK. What shape is green?
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Mar 29, 2018 03:36
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CerealCrunch posted:ME and my 3 year old: What if the color green you see isn't the same as the color green she sees but you both call it green because that's what you were taught to call it? Edit: noticed the bow Beachcomber has a new favorite as of 06:07 on Mar 29, 2018 |
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Mar 29, 2018 06:04
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Beachcomber posted:What if the color green you see isn't the same as the color green she sees but you both call it green because that's what you were taught to call it? Dude, this idea has been loving with me for the past 30 years. Seriously.
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Mar 29, 2018 21:14
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Choco1980 posted:Dude, this idea has been loving with me for the past 30 years. Seriously. look up "Qualia" for a bunch of thought experiments and such related to this sort of thing
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Mar 29, 2018 21:21
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CerealCrunch posted:ME and my 3 year old: Hello, fellow synaesthete! Green is a rectangle, hth.
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Mar 30, 2018 16:29
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Cousin’s kid will not say “cheese” for pictures. She will only say “seaweed” and insists that everyone else do the same
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Mar 30, 2018 18:26
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Clever kid. Saying cheese is dumb.
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Mar 31, 2018 12:18
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The Lord Bude posted:Clever kid. Saying cheese is dumb. Yeah, with seaweed and an auto-shutter you'll get a smile, a kissy-face, and another smile all at once! 
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Mar 31, 2018 16:51
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We were doing a punctuation and grammar assessment last week and this was one of the questions: "Rewrite the sentence below, adding a subordinate clause. Butch and Rover chewed the sofa." Cue the following:  Mr Calexio, in this question... are they people? Or animals? ... How many people do you know who are called Rover? Or are known for chewing sofas? Oh yeeeeeeeeah. Yeah.
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Mar 31, 2018 22:51
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Calexio posted:We were doing a punctuation and grammar assessment last week and this was one of the questions: They might have been members of a cool 80s movie gang.
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Mar 31, 2018 23:20
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| # ? May 22, 2024 06:21 |
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Butch and Rover in the Morning! *laser sounds*
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Mar 31, 2018 23:23
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