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Mel Mudkiper
Jan 19, 2012

At this point, Mudman abruptly ends the conversation. He usually insists on the last word.
Its been mentioned before but its pretty weird how Cline is all like "80s video games!" and yet focuses explicitly on a brand and system that died in 1983

Like, 95% of us who lived in the 80s as kids played Nintendo, not Atari or Intellivision or whatever

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Chin Strap
Nov 24, 2002

I failed my TFLC Toxx, but I no longer need a double chin strap :buddy:
Pillbug

theflyingorc posted:

Faith, Hope, Charity is also a good bit more recognizable as being from First Corinthians than it is from goddamn Schoolhouse Rock.

But he was an atheist, and we all know they never know biblical references.

chitoryu12
Apr 24, 2014

there wolf posted:

I keep thinking of Harry Potter, probably because it has a lot of the same kind of lucky rear end pulls for the protagonist except they don't feel completely unearned. I like the drat coin; it's the one actually clever call back to Cline's beloved arcade games and like with everything else if you only rewrote how he got it and how it got used in a way that built suspense instead of strangling it in the crib it'd be fine.

Same with the three at the end. If the Sixers are cheating there's no reason to not cheat the same way, and AECH, Artimis, and Shoto serving as guardian angels to Wade, embodiment of all gunters, could work. There could have been something poignant in them offering their artifact gear to outfit Wade after spending most of the book too proud to share anything. But Cline does nothing to make these friendships necessary. They might as well be casual acquaintances hanging around the Donkey Kong cabinet and offering tips on how to cheat the game.

While cheating to beat cheaters may be justifiable, the problem is how the book handles it. None of the characters recognize that they’re winning the Hunt by doing exactly what they insulted their sworn enemies for doing. Instead, it’s treated as the protagonists finally becoming true companions.

This is where a lot of RPO’s issues come in. The content itself isn’t what’s bad, but Cline is a crappy writer so things that could easily be justified in writing look like plot holes or bad characterization.

Orthodox Rabbit
Jun 2, 2006

This game is perfect for empty-headed dunces that don't like to think much!! Of course, I'm a genius... I wonder why I'm so good at it?!

chitoryu12 posted:

While cheating to beat cheaters may be justifiable, the problem is how the book handles it. None of the characters recognize that they’re winning the Hunt by doing exactly what they insulted their sworn enemies for doing. Instead, it’s treated as the protagonists finally becoming true companions.

This is where a lot of RPO’s issues come in. The content itself isn’t what’s bad, but Cline is a crappy writer so things that could easily be justified in writing look like plot holes or bad characterization.

Since Wade said he was broadcasting to over 200 million people on his stream who watched him cheat his way through the final challenges, it would have been neat if instead of being the big hero for beating the big bad cheaters Wade finds himself rich and powerful but hated by all for pulling the same exact cheating they did.

EdsTeioh
Oct 23, 2004

PRAY FOR DEATH


HopperUK posted:

I just don't get this weird thing that happens with some authors where the pattern of the story is:

1) Oh no, something exciting is about to happen!
2) Wait it's okay I fixed it with no trouble

Like, what do they think a story is? Why are they so scared of conflict? Why does it have all the emotional heft of two little kids shouting 'No I shot YOU first' 'No I have a bulletproof shield!' 'Well I have a raygun that goes through the shield!'

I'm just grumpy becaused Altered Carbon killed off my favourite character.

Man, this is EXTREMELY common in nerd circles, apparently. I played in an rpg group for a while where a good friend of mine ran a (way too long) scifi game where the main villain got killed off about 1/3 of the way though and then the big climax of the campaign was a spaceship race that had about a 1/2 session of buildup. Same dude then ran a Ravenloft game that ended up us just wandering through a forest and fighting birds for 3 straight sessions then rolling over the villain. THEN, another dude from that group runs the easiest walkthrough campaigns because he's told me straight up that he DOESN'T like tension and "bad things happening to his heroes." This guy literally wrote a letter to Jim Butcher because he was physically angry at all of the stuff that Harry Dresden has to endure.

Darth Walrus
Feb 13, 2012
TBH, Leopardon being Wade’s signature ride feels like it would be easy to make work, too. It’s basically his ultimate embrace of all that is cheesy, kitschy, and charmingly lame about Halliday’s preferred media. If you’re writing him as someone who starts out just doing this as a job and gradually falls in love with the media he’s immersed in, having him go ‘holy poo poo yes, forget the stats, forget the metagame, I’m going to win this dumb game with loving Leopardon and nobody’s going to stop me’ and then master using it because mecha combat in the OASIS is really goddamned fun would be a great little turning point.

It could be a cool setup for the final battle, too. Sorrento’s just taken out Shoto and Raideen, and is turning towards them, and Wade knows they won’t make it to the Third Gate without being incinerated. The IOI’s CEO is riding this insane beast of a machine that’s been minmaxed as hard as the game will allow, while Wade’s still in his crappy little mecha from a crappy low-budget toku, but he knows that someone needs to get to the Gate before IOI takes over the world, and it doesn’t really matter who it is. So he turns back and faces Sorrento to buy his friends time... and finds that he’s having a far easier time than he should be. Sorrento isn’t a gamer. He hasn’t mastered the OASIS, because that would require him, on some level, to enjoy it. He’s just using high-end gear and a horde of loyal goons to brute-force his way through so he can claim his prize. Wade may be hilariously under-equipped, but he’s not on a suicide run like he thought. He can actually win this.

Cue the epic battle scene.

loquacius
Oct 21, 2008

EdsTeioh posted:

This guy literally wrote a letter to Jim Butcher because he was physically angry at all of the stuff that Harry Dresden has to endure.

tbf I've read one of those books (Grave Peril) and the last third of it or so was extremely stressful

Like, I'm not saying he's right or anything, because if you don't actually like your media to contain tension you are a huge loving wimp, but I can kind of understand the idea that a certain amount of misery is too much to have to suffer through as a consumer

Renaissance Spam
Jun 5, 2010

Can it wait a for a bit? I'm in the middle of some *gyrations*


Darth Walrus posted:

TBH, Leopardon being Wade’s signature ride feels like it would be easy to make work, too. It’s basically his ultimate embrace of all that is cheesy, kitschy, and charmingly lame about Halliday’s preferred media. If you’re writing him as someone who starts out just doing this as a job and gradually falls in love with the media he’s immersed in, having him go ‘holy poo poo yes, forget the stats, forget the metagame, I’m going to win this dumb game with loving Leopardon and nobody’s going to stop me’ and then master using it because mecha combat in the OASIS is really goddamned fun would be a great little turning point.

It could be a cool setup for the final battle, too. Sorrento’s just taken out Shoto and Raideen, and is turning towards them, and Wade knows they won’t make it to the Third Gate without being incinerated. The IOI’s CEO is riding this insane beast of a machine that’s been minmaxed as hard as the game will allow, while Wade’s still in his crappy little mecha from a crappy low-budget toku, but he knows that someone needs to get to the Gate before IOI takes over the world, and it doesn’t really matter who it is. So he turns back and faces Sorrento to buy his friends time... and finds that he’s having a far easier time than he should be. Sorrento isn’t a gamer. He hasn’t mastered the OASIS, because that would require him, on some level, to enjoy it. He’s just using high-end gear and a horde of loyal goons to brute-force his way through so he can claim his prize. Wade may be hilariously under-equipped, but he’s not on a suicide run like he thought. He can actually win this.

Cue the epic battle scene.

Alright that goes in the rewrite.

chitoryu12
Apr 24, 2014

Darth Walrus posted:

TBH, Leopardon being Wade’s signature ride feels like it would be easy to make work, too. It’s basically his ultimate embrace of all that is cheesy, kitschy, and charmingly lame about Halliday’s preferred media. If you’re writing him as someone who starts out just doing this as a job and gradually falls in love with the media he’s immersed in, having him go ‘holy poo poo yes, forget the stats, forget the metagame, I’m going to win this dumb game with loving Leopardon and nobody’s going to stop me’ and then master using it because mecha combat in the OASIS is really goddamned fun would be a great little turning point.

It could be a cool setup for the final battle, too. Sorrento’s just taken out Shoto and Raideen, and is turning towards them, and Wade knows they won’t make it to the Third Gate without being incinerated. The IOI’s CEO is riding this insane beast of a machine that’s been minmaxed as hard as the game will allow, while Wade’s still in his crappy little mecha from a crappy low-budget toku, but he knows that someone needs to get to the Gate before IOI takes over the world, and it doesn’t really matter who it is. So he turns back and faces Sorrento to buy his friends time... and finds that he’s having a far easier time than he should be. Sorrento isn’t a gamer. He hasn’t mastered the OASIS, because that would require him, on some level, to enjoy it. He’s just using high-end gear and a horde of loyal goons to brute-force his way through so he can claim his prize. Wade may be hilariously under-equipped, but he’s not on a suicide run like he thought. He can actually win this.

Cue the epic battle scene.

I guess I know how we're rewriting the battle!

e:fb

This is gonna be the best rewrite ever

there wolf
Jan 11, 2015

by Fluffdaddy

chitoryu12 posted:

While cheating to beat cheaters may be justifiable, the problem is how the book handles it. None of the characters recognize that they’re winning the Hunt by doing exactly what they insulted their sworn enemies for doing. Instead, it’s treated as the protagonists finally becoming true companions.

This is where a lot of RPO’s issues come in. The content itself isn’t what’s bad, but Cline is a crappy writer so things that could easily be justified in writing look like plot holes or bad characterization.

That's pretty much a summery of all my rewrites. Most everyone is spinning bad-ending scenarios because this poo poo pile brings out the cynicism in everyone. But it's fun to do the opposite and try turn it into a functional peice of wonder and escapism.

And with that in mind, that should really be what Wade gets out of the old media. He lives in a dystopian future; make all the current media grueling and depressing. Then he starts chasing the Egg and gets exposed to fun escapism and media that looked at nuclear destruction and still found faith, hope, and charity. There should be some virtue of the 80's that resonates with him other than 'it's just cool I guess.'

Renaissance Spam
Jun 5, 2010

Can it wait a for a bit? I'm in the middle of some *gyrations*


there wolf posted:

That's pretty much a summery of all my rewrites. Most everyone is spinning bad-ending scenarios because this poo poo pile brings out the cynicism in everyone. But it's fun to do the opposite and try turn it into a functional peice of wonder and escapism.

And with that in mind, that should really be what Wade gets out of the old media. He lives in a dystopian future; make all the current media grueling and depressing. Then he starts chasing the Egg and gets exposed to fun escapism and media that looked at nuclear destruction and still found faith, hope, and charity. There should be some virtue of the 80's that resonates with him other than 'it's just cool I guess.'

I still think that Wade should have early exposure to 80's media through his mom, like she tried to make him watch the original MLP, Care Bears and Ghostbusters when he was little but he was so jacked into OASIS daycare that he couldn't comprehend why someone would watch 2D non-interactive media. But when he does find himself having to research the material he starts finding all these things his mom loved which leads him to going after her things first in hopes of finding a connection with her but eventually starts to branch out as he starts finding things that give him passion and joy.

Hell split the difference with the ending; Halliday is a horrible mosnter who wants the world to conform to his interests and Wade who doesn't deny the appeal of nostalgia and fandom rejects the Universal Canon that Halliday is trying to create.

chitoryu12
Apr 24, 2014

quote:

“Do you guys see this?” I whispered.

There was no reply.

“Hello? Aech? Art3mis? Shoto? Are you guys still there?”

Still no reply. Either Og had cut their voice links to me, or Halliday had coded this final stage of the gate so that no outside communication was possible. I was pretty sure it was the latter.

I stood there in silence for a minute, unsure of what to do. Then I followed my first instinct and walked over to the Atari 2600. It was hooked up to a 1977 Zenith Color TV. I turned on the TV, but nothing happened. Then I switched on the Atari. Still nothing. There was no power, even though both the TV and the Atari were plugged into electrical outlets set into the floor.

I tried the Apple II on the table beside it. It wouldn’t switch on either.

After a few minutes of experimentation, I discovered that the only computer that would power on was one of the oldest, the IMSAI 8080, the same model of computer Matthew Broderick owned in WarGames.



The screen simply reads "LOGIN:". Wade first tries "ANORAK", which doesn't work. Neither does "HALLIDAY", "OGDEN", or "OG". He gets the idea to play off Halliday's obsession and try "KIRA", but that doesn't work either. He tries his parents' names, his pet's names (Tiberius the ferret and Zaphod the fish), nothing. Finally, he remembers what he read in his biography: he could only talk to Kira using her D&D character's name.

quote:

I rebooted the computer again. When the LOGIN prompt reappeared, I typed in LEUCOSIA. Then I hit the Enter key.

Every system in the room powered itself on. The sounds of whirring disk drives, self-test beeps, and other boot-up sounds echoed off the vaulted ceiling.

I ran back over to the Atari 2600 and searched through the giant rack of alphabetized game cartridges beside it until I found the one I was looking for: Adventure. I shoved it into the Atari and turned the system on, then hit the Reset switch to start the game.

It took me only a few minutes to reach the Secret Room.

I grabbed the sword and used it to slay all three of the dragons. Then I found the black key, opened the gates of the Black Castle, and ventured into its labyrinth. The gray dot was hidden right where it was supposed to be. I picked it up and carried it back across the tiny 8-bit kingdom, then used it to pass through the magic barrier and enter the Secret Room. But unlike the original Atari game, this Secret Room didn’t contain the name of Warren Robinett, Adventure’s original programmer. Instead, at the very center of the screen, there was a large white oval with pixelated edges. An egg.

The egg.

I stared at the TV screen in stunned silence for a moment. Then I pulled the Atari joystick to the right, moving my tiny square avatar across the flickering screen. The TV’s mono speaker emitted a brief electronic bip sound as I dropped the gray dot and picked up the egg. As I did, there was a brilliant flash of light, and then I saw that my avatar was no longer holding a joystick. Now, cupped in both of my hands, was a large silver egg. I could see my avatar’s warped reflection on its curved surface.

Oh. Oh that's it.

If you were just skimming this book, you could easily run into Wade finding the egg by accident. None of it has any more fanfare or emotion than him getting sorta-dumped by Art3mis. The book just sort of meanders its way to the finale.

The double doors in the wall are replaced by the Third Gate. Wade walks through, finding himself in Castle Anorak even though the castle was still several hours from being restored in the server reset. He walks up the steps in front of him and finds himself in Anorak's study, the room from the animation that Halliday used to have on his personal website. Below the painting of the black dragon is a golden, jewel-encrusted chalice perfectly sized for Wade to put the egg in.

quote:

In the distance, I heard a fanfare of trumpets, and the egg began to glow.

“You win,” I heard a voice say. I turned and saw that Anorak was standing right behind me. His obsidian black robes seemed to pull most of the sunlight out of the room. “Congratulations,” he said, stretching out his long-fingered hand.

I hesitated, wondering if this was another trick. Or perhaps one final test …

“The game is over,” Anorak said, as if he’d read my mind. “It’s time for you to receive your prize.”

I looked down at his outstretched hand. Then, after a moment’s hesitation, I took it.

Cascading bolts of blue lightning erupted in the space between us, and their spiderweb tines enveloped us both, as if a surge of power were passing from his avatar into mine. When the lightning subsided, I saw that Anorak was no longer dressed in his black wizard’s robes. In fact, he no longer looked like Anorak at all. He was shorter, thinner, and somewhat less handsome. Now he looked like James Halliday. Pale. Middle-aged. He was dressed in worn jeans and a faded Space Invaders T-shirt.

I looked down at my own avatar and discovered that I was now wearing Anorak’s robes. Then I realized that the icons and readouts around the edge of my display had also changed. My stats were all completely maxxed out, and I now had a list of spells, inherent powers, and magic items that seemed to scroll on forever.

My avatar’s level and hit-point counters both had infinity symbols in front of them.

And my credit readout now displayed a number twelve digits long. I was a multibillionaire.

“I’m entrusting the care of the OASIS to you now, Parzival,” Halliday said. “Your avatar is immortal and all-powerful. Whatever you want, all you have to do is wish for it. Pretty sweet, eh?” He leaned toward me and lowered his voice. “Do me a favor. Try and use your powers only for good. OK?”

“OK,” I said, in a voice that was barely a whisper.

Halliday smiled, then gestured around us. “This is your castle now. I’ve coded this room so that only your avatar can enter it. I did this to ensure that you alone have access to this.” He walked over to a bookshelf against the wall and pulled on the spine of one of the volumes it held. I heard a click; then the bookshelf slid aside, revealing a square metal plate set into the wall. In the center of the plate there was a comically large red button embossed with a single word: OFF.

“I call this the Big Red Button,” Halliday said. “If you press it, it will shut off the entire OASIS and launch a worm that will delete everything stored on the GSS servers, including all of the OASIS source code. It will shut down the OASIS forever.” He smirked. “So don’t press it unless you’re absolutely positive it’s the right thing to do, OK?” He gave me an odd smile. “I trust your judgment.”

Halliday slid the bookshelf back into place, concealing the button once again. Then he startled me by putting his arm around my shoulders. “Listen,” he said, adopting a confidential tone. “I need to tell you one last thing before I go. Something I didn’t figure out for myself until it was already too late.” He led me over to the window and motioned out at the landscape stretching out beyond it. “I created the OASIS because I never felt at home in the real world. I didn’t know how to connect with the people there. I was afraid, for all of my life. Right up until I knew it was ending. That was when I realized, as terrifying and painful as reality can be, it’s also the only place where you can find true happiness. Because reality is real. Do you understand?”

“Yes,” I said. “I think I do.”

“Good,” he said, giving me a wink. “Don’t make the same mistake I did. Don’t hide in here forever.”

He smiled and took a few steps away from me. “All right. I think that covers everything. It’s time for me to blow this pop stand.”

Then Halliday began to disappear. He smiled and waved good-bye as his avatar slowly faded out of existence.

“Good luck, Parzival,” he said. “And thanks. Thanks for playing my game.”

Then he was completely gone.

So let's cover how meaningless this platitude is.

First, Wade is now the most powerful individual on the planet. Even though he's splitting the money equally between him and his friends so they're all going to be billionaires 60 times over, he's now got the same admin powers as Og and control over GSS. He's become Jeff Bezos, Elon Musk, Steve Jobs, Bill Gates, and Mark Zuckerberg combined in the sense of how wealthy and powerful he is.

Now, consider just how Wade got this power. He was the most turbonerd of turbonerds, obsessively watching 80s films dozens of times until he had the dialogue memorized and staring at a screen for endless thousands of hours until he had perfectly mastered just about every arcade game from the decade. He breezed through every OASIS conflict that didn't involve the Hunt because he removed all his body hair to live in an empty apartment drinking Vitamin D supplements while spending every waking moment in OASIS until he had the biggest armory and garage outside of IOI.

Halliday may tell Wade "reality is real", but Wade would have lost everything if he followed that. He would have graduated from school without enough money or scholarship prospects to do anything but become one of the masses of refugees lining the streets of the apocalyptic wasteland that is the real world, unless he sacrificed his morals to join IOI. Speaking of which, IOI would have won easily. Nobody actually needed Wade's success to find any of the keys or gates (remember that Art3mis had been working on the Copper Key for a month before Wade stumbled upon it), so it's not like him finding it was the trigger for the Hunt continuing. So they would have gotten control of OASIS as well.

Only by ignoring Halliday's reassurance that he doesn't have to waste his time playing video games and that he needs to live life in reality was Wade able to stop IOI's plans and become the most powerful man on Earth. RPO repeatedly sweeps its own leg (The Karate Kid, 1984) every time Cline tries to add some kind of deeper meaning or commentary on life, and this is the most egregious instance.

quote:

“Are you guys there?” I said to the empty air a few minutes later.

“Yes!” Aech said excitedly. “Can you hear us?”

“Yeah. I can now. What happened?”

“The system cut off our voice links to you as soon as you entered Halliday’s office, so we couldn’t talk to you.”

“Luckily, you didn’t need our help anyway,” Shoto said. “Good job, man.”

“Congratulations, Wade,” I heard Art3mis say. And I could tell she meant it too.

“Thanks,” I said. “But I couldn’t have done it without you guys.”

“You’re right,” Art3mis said. “Remember to mention that when you talk to the media. Og says there are a few hundred reporters on their way here right now.”

I glanced back over at the bookshelf that concealed the Big Red Button. “Did you guys see everything Halliday said to me before he vanished?” I asked.

“No,” Art3mis said. “We saw everything up until he told you to ‘try and use your powers only for good.’ Then your vidfeed cut out. What happened after that?”

“Nothing much,” I said. “I’ll tell you about it later.”

Wade opens the Scoreboard at his friends' urging, to find that it's disappeared. Anorak's study is back, only now Parzival is the one wearing the robes accompanied by PARZIVAL WINS! along the bottom of the screen. Trying to figure out where the Sixers competing with him went, Wade opens his map (as he can now teleport anywhere in OASIS simply by clicking on it) and blinks himself outside the castle gates. All 18 of them are indeed standing outside, looking very confused. They all draw their guns and swords as Wade appears in front of them.

quote:

Using my avatar’s new superuser interface, I made a sweeping gesture with my hand, selecting all of the Sixer avatars on my display. Their outlines began to glow red. Then I tapped the skull-and-crossbones icon that now appeared on my avatar’s toolbar. All eighteen Sixer avatars instantly dropped dead. Their bodies slowly faded out of existence, each leaving behind a tiny pile of weapons and loot.

“Holy poo poo!” I heard Shoto say over the comlink. “How did you do that?”

“You heard Halliday,” Aech said. “His avatar is immortal and all-powerful.”

“Yeah,” I said. “He wasn’t kidding, either.”

“Halliday also said you could wish for whatever you wanted,” Aech said. “What are you gonna wish for first?”

I thought about that for a second; then I tapped the new Command icon that now appeared at the edge of my display and said, “I wish for Aech, Art3mis, and Shoto to be resurrected.”

A dialog window popped up, asking me to confirm the spelling of each of their avatar names. Once I did, the system asked me if, in addition to resurrecting their avatars, I wanted to restore all of their lost items, too. I tapped the Yes icon. Then a message appeared in the center of my display: RESURRECTION COMPLETE. AVATARS RESTORED.

Oh hey, he also gets to rewrite any of the actual negative consequences that may have occurred in the battle! Nothing matters! Yay!

Except Daito! Daito is dead for real and isn't coming back! Yay!

His friends log back in, except for Art3mis. She says she'll be outside waiting for Wade when he's ready.

quote:

I nodded. I was about to tap my Log-out icon when Aech held up her—his—hand. “Wait a second! Before you log out, you’ve got to see something,” he said, opening a window in front of me. “This is airing on all of the newsfeeds right now. The feds just took Sorrento in for questioning. They stormed into IOI headquarters and yanked him right out of his haptic chair!”

A video clip began to play. Handheld camera footage showed a team of federal agents leading Sorrento across the lobby of the IOI corporate headquarters. He was still wearing his haptic suit and was shadowed by a gray-haired man in a suit who I assumed was his attorney. Sorrento looked annoyed more than anything, as if this were all just a mild inconvenience. The caption along the bottom of the window read: Top IOI Executive Sorrento Accused of Murder.

“The newsfeeds have been playing clips from the simcap of your chatlink session with Sorrento all day,” Aech said, pausing the clip. “Especially the part where he threatens to kill you and then blows up your aunt’s trailer.”

Aech hit Play, and the news clip continued. The federal agents continued to usher Sorrento through the lobby, which was packed with reporters, all pushing against one another and shouting questions. The reporter shooting the video we were watching lunged forward and jammed the camera in Sorrento’s face. “Did you give the order to kill Wade Watts personally?” the reporter shouted. “How does it feel to know you just lost the contest?”

Sorrento smiled, but didn’t reply. Then his attorney stepped in front of the camera and addressed the reporters. “The charges leveled against my client are preposterous,” he said. “The simcap being circulated is clearly a doctored fake. We have no other comment at this time.”

Sorrento nodded. He continued to smile as the feds led him out of the building.

“The bastard will probably get off scot-free,” I said. “IOI can afford to hire the best lawyers in the world.”

“Yes, they can,” Aech said. Then he flashed his Cheshire grin. “But now so can we.”

The sequel to this book is just going to be legal documents isn't it?

SerialKilldeer
Apr 25, 2014

Angry Salami posted:

So this fucker read the Almanac, recognized the quote at the end as Shakespeare... but didn't bother checking what play it was from or the context it appeared in or anything to see if that was a clue?

Wade, you are the worst puzzle solver in literary history.

Yeah, I can understand that nobody recognized Shakespeare (I don't think the quote given is a really famous one, either), but did no one think to Google (or whatever search engine they had now) that portentous-sounding quote from the end of the Almanac? Especially if it was set off with quotation marks or some other indication that it wasn't Holiday's own words. I'd expect people to scan the Almanac for any quote or allusion and investigate each one in depth.

As for Bible references, a lot of the atheists I know are fond of quoting horrible or ridiculous Bible passages, and some (as I did during my edgy phase) take pride in claiming to know the holy book better than its adherents. There is nothing implausible about an atheist using a Bible quote.

loquacius
Oct 21, 2008

A thought: much is made of the idea that all external feeds into Wade's display get cut out when he reaches Halliday's office, but

the other characters are literally in the same building as him now. Can't they just, like, walk up, and take one of his earbuds out, and talk to him normally using their voices?

Or is taking out an OASIS user's earbuds considered functionally equivalent to rape or something in this setting

chitoryu12
Apr 24, 2014

Also, we only have one more day of updates! There's just one chapter left, followed by Lacero. After that, we're on to Monster Hunter International accompanied by our rewrite of this book.

Zanzibar Ham
Mar 17, 2009

You giving me the cold shoulder? How cruel.


Grimey Drawer
It's okay, he could make a Daito NPC that's indistinguishable from the real thing! How hard would it be to code in a racist Japanese stereotype?

Choco1980
Feb 22, 2013

I fell in love with a Video Nasty
It's already been mentioned that Cline chose the 2000s Mechagodzilla with very little research. Boy didn't he research though. Kaiju and giant robot/sentai stuff is extremely nerdy about the exact size measurements of their embiggened combatants. It takes next to no research to find out exactly how tall each of the bots used in the big battel are, and a Reddit user did just that with this handy graphic:



Kiryu being "twice" as tall as Leopardon? No, they're the same height. Ultraman comes up to about Kiryu's armpit. Raideen to its chin. It is about twice as tall as Aech and Art3mis's mechs at least.


Also regarding the final challenge, I do like that in a room full of Halliday's retro games, he had to go reenact the very first video game easter egg, that's actually clever. However, him just instinctively knowing how to do it (and knowing to login to the mainframe with the D&D name of the girl Halliday Nice Guy'd) just ruins it by removing all tension or deduction from the scene. Ugh.

loquacius
Oct 21, 2008

Zanzibar Ham posted:

It's okay, he could make a Daito NPC that's indistinguishable from the real thing! How hard would it be to code in a racist Japanese stereotype?

Thinking about it some more I sort of get the impression that Daito was a complete afterthought. He's not distinct from Shoto in any way; he's just The Other Shoto, The One Who Dies

Like, it kinda seems to me like Cline wrote in the author-insert protagonist, the love interest, a best friend with a twist he probably thought was Extremely Woke, and a Japanese stereotype to satisfy his weeb side, and then his editor or something was like "hey none of your main characters ever really experience any real consequences, maybe you should make one of them have a tragic end of some kind? It'd build IOI's characterization too, really show how high the stakes are"

and Cline was like "maaaan I don't want any of my very special imaginary friends to die after I put all this work into writing them. I dunno, let's have there be two Shotos. Maybe Shoto has a brother. But, like, not a real brother, obviously, that'd be too interesting. That guy can die. Is that ok?"

but the editor was too busy snorting cocaine to answer him

awesmoe
Nov 30, 2005

Pillbug

quote:

Because reality is real. Do you understand?”
“Yes,” I said. “I think I do.”

quote:

I nodded. I was about to tap my Log-out icon when Aech held up her—his—hand.
i hate this loving book so much. i hate everything about it.

chitoryu12 posted:

I guess I know how we're rewriting the battle!

e:fb

This is gonna be the best rewrite ever

crowdsourced fanfic of total a total dogshit book is....maybe you could do it in a separate thread from the 'lets read'? :frogbon:

Samizdata
May 14, 2007

Darth Walrus posted:

TBH, Leopardon being Wade’s signature ride feels like it would be easy to make work, too. It’s basically his ultimate embrace of all that is cheesy, kitschy, and charmingly lame about Halliday’s preferred media. If you’re writing him as someone who starts out just doing this as a job and gradually falls in love with the media he’s immersed in, having him go ‘holy poo poo yes, forget the stats, forget the metagame, I’m going to win this dumb game with loving Leopardon and nobody’s going to stop me’ and then master using it because mecha combat in the OASIS is really goddamned fun would be a great little turning point.

It could be a cool setup for the final battle, too. Sorrento’s just taken out Shoto and Raideen, and is turning towards them, and Wade knows they won’t make it to the Third Gate without being incinerated. The IOI’s CEO is riding this insane beast of a machine that’s been minmaxed as hard as the game will allow, while Wade’s still in his crappy little mecha from a crappy low-budget toku, but he knows that someone needs to get to the Gate before IOI takes over the world, and it doesn’t really matter who it is. So he turns back and faces Sorrento to buy his friends time... and finds that he’s having a far easier time than he should be. Sorrento isn’t a gamer. He hasn’t mastered the OASIS, because that would require him, on some level, to enjoy it. He’s just using high-end gear and a horde of loyal goons to brute-force his way through so he can claim his prize. Wade may be hilariously under-equipped, but he’s not on a suicide run like he thought. He can actually win this.

Cue the epic battle scene.

So, you're saying Sorrento is what I call a "wallet warrior"? You jump in a game with them, they have the shiny new kit, you're in your old, well-worn, much patched up kit you assembled yourself and you are kicking all kinds of rear end while they are attacking a corner?

EDIT: Yes. I AM speaking of Warframe...

Samizdata fucked around with this message at 21:10 on Apr 3, 2018

Zanzibar Ham
Mar 17, 2009

You giving me the cold shoulder? How cruel.


Grimey Drawer
The problem is that all the challenges rely on things Wade is an expert at, and anything that would be problematic for him gets Deus Ex Machina'd away. And then even things that aren't Deus Ex Machina'd away are Wade Ex Machina'd away as he does things like Hack Into The Mainframe and perfectly execute Black Ops stuff without a hint of danger of failure.

Old Kentucky Shark
May 25, 2012

If you think you're gonna get sympathy from the shark, well then, you won't.


Choco1980 posted:

It's already been mentioned that Cline chose the 2000s Mechagodzilla with very little research. Boy didn't he research though. Kaiju and giant robot/sentai stuff is extremely nerdy about the exact size measurements of their embiggened combatants. It takes next to no research to find out exactly how tall each of the bots used in the big battel are, and a Reddit user did just that with this handy graphic:



Kiryu being "twice" as tall as Leopardon? No, they're the same height. Ultraman comes up to about Kiryu's armpit. Raideen to its chin. It is about twice as tall as Aech and Art3mis's mechs at least.


Also regarding the final challenge, I do like that in a room full of Halliday's retro games, he had to go reenact the very first video game easter egg, that's actually clever. However, him just instinctively knowing how to do it (and knowing to login to the mainframe with the D&D name of the girl Halliday Nice Guy'd) just ruins it by removing all tension or deduction from the scene. Ugh.

He also mentioned that there are Evangelions there, then apparently forgot about them. Evangelions are up to 200m tall, so approximately 4x the size of the other mechs. Also, they're literally invulnerable to anything that isn't an actual, honest to god biblical Angel, up to and including nukes.

You'd think that they would do more in the fight.

Vox Valentine
May 31, 2013

Solving all of life's problems through enhanced casting of Occam's Razor. Reward yourself with an imaginary chalice.

I appreciate your SCP joke, chitoryu12.

chitoryu12
Apr 24, 2014

I've read the first few pages of Monster Hunter International and this is the best goddamn book I've ever read.

To this day I don't know why at that moment I felt the need to make a confession to my rapidly mutating boss. Even though I was in accordance with Texas state law, I was in direct violation of the company's workplace safety rule.

"You know that 'no weapons at work' policy?" I asked the twitching and growing hairy monstrosity standing less than ten feet from me. His yellow eyes bored into me with raw animal hatred. There was nothing recognizably human in that look.

"I never did like that rule," I said as I bent down and drew my gun from my ankle holster, put the front sight on the target and rapidly fired all five shots from my snub-nosed .357 Smith & Wesson into Mr. Huffman's body. God bless Texas.

StonecutterJoe
Mar 29, 2016

quote:

“The bastard will probably get off scot-free,” I said. “IOI can afford to hire the best lawyers in the world.”

“Yes, they can,” Aech said. Then he flashed his Cheshire grin. “But now so can we.”

This...this is not how criminal trials work. "Sorry, sir, we thought getting you off was a slam dunk, but it turns out Wade hired the best defense attorneys on earth and convinced them all to become your prosecutors. That's a thing he can do now, because he's the best at everything and has all the money."

PJOmega
May 5, 2009
Halliday couldn't even talk to his nerd not-waifu by her real name, but rather had to use her DnD name?

Wow.

Zanzibar Ham
Mar 17, 2009

You giving me the cold shoulder? How cruel.


Grimey Drawer

StonecutterJoe posted:

This...this is not how criminal trials work. "Sorry, sir, we thought getting you off was a slam dunk, but it turns out Wade hired the best defense attorneys on earth and convinced them all to become your prosecutors. That's a thing he can do now, because he's the best at everything and has all the money."

He'll just pay off the judge, like any American hero would. :911:

Peepers
Mar 11, 2005

Well, I'm a ghost. I scare people. It's all very important, I assure you.


loquacius posted:

A thought: much is made of the idea that all external feeds into Wade's display get cut out when he reaches Halliday's office, but

the other characters are literally in the same building as him now. Can't they just, like, walk up, and take one of his earbuds out, and talk to him normally using their voices?

Or is taking out an OASIS user's earbuds considered functionally equivalent to rape or something in this setting

This is a hugely wasted opportunity to actually show the importance Halliday's "Real life is what really matters!" Instead of a heartfelt scene where Wade's best friends come into the room to cheer him on in person as he makes world history...they just chill out in empty rooms twiddling their thumbs. Come the gently caress on!

Liquid Communism
Mar 9, 2004

коммунизм хранится в яичках

StonecutterJoe posted:

This...this is not how criminal trials work. "Sorry, sir, we thought getting you off was a slam dunk, but it turns out Wade hired the best defense attorneys on earth and convinced them all to become your prosecutors. That's a thing he can do now, because he's the best at everything and has all the money."

I assume the author is conflating criminal prosecution with suing over breach of contract and TOS.

I mean, Wade could just ban IOI and all employees thereof and confiscate their in game cash. He can do that now.

chitoryu12
Apr 24, 2014

Liquid Communism posted:

I assume the author is conflating criminal prosecution with suing over breach of contract and TOS.

I mean, Wade could just ban IOI and all employees thereof and confiscate their in game cash. He can do that now.

Oh yeah, he knows they're using hacked rigs and is now the CEO and superadmin. He can just boot IOI out of OASIS permanently and have his ideal anarchist cyberstate.

Powered Descent
Jul 13, 2008

We haven't had that spirit here since 1969.

Liquid Communism posted:

I mean, Wade could just ban IOI and all employees thereof and confiscate their in game cash. He can do that now.

And by so doing, he can afford to let Artemis go feed hungry people or whatever and ALSO build his bitchin' spaceship full of movie theaters and arcades and abandon the dying Earth forever. Happy ending!

StonecutterJoe
Mar 29, 2016
Wade is also going to have to spend the rest of his life in deep hiding. This is not a happy ending. The guy has absolute dictatorial control over the Oasis, including a doomsday button, and has a shitload of ways to affect (or tank) the global economy in a heartbeat. And all someone has to do is grab him, hold a branding iron against his nutsack until he gives up his account password, and now they're the new God of Oasis. And they didn't even have to play a perfect game of Pac-Man to do it.

(Which would make a great alternate ending to this pile of poo poo. Suddenly Wade gets a bag over his head, he finds himself tied to a chair in a room with Sorrento who is out on bail, Sorrento's hooking up a couple of jumper cables to a car battery and he's all, "poo poo, we should have just let you win from the start, this is WAY easier.")

Young Freud
Nov 26, 2006

chitoryu12 posted:

Oh yeah, he knows they're using hacked rigs and is now the CEO and superadmin. He can just boot IOI out of OASIS permanently and have his ideal anarchist cyberstate.

Then IOI retaliated by throttling the GSS servers back to 56k bandwidth, because, tell you what, President Wil Wheaton has got a lovely domestic policy if he has corporations implementing indentured servitude and a Mad Max middle America.

Also, OASIS is worth $260 billion, right? That's also in 2040 dollars, assuming inflation remains stable. That would make OASIS worth something like $130 billion in today's money, which makes it substantial but not like Amazon.

chitoryu12
Apr 24, 2014

Young Freud posted:

Then IOI retaliated by throttling the GSS servers back to 56k bandwidth, because, tell you what, President Wil Wheaton has got a lovely domestic policy if he has corporations implementing indentured servitude and a Mad Max middle America.

Also, OASIS is worth $260 billion, right? That's also in 2040 dollars, assuming inflation remains stable. That would make OASIS worth something like $130 billion in today's money, which makes it substantial but not like Amazon.

The will isn't entirely specific, but Halliday says that the winner earns his entire estate, including a fortune of more than $240 billion and his controlling stake of stock in GSS. So presumably Halliday's personal fortune is separate from the actual money and assets GSS has. Also, Wil Wheaton is only the VP of OASIS and Wade outright says he ignores real world elections because only reality TV stars and evangelists can get elected now.

By splitting the fortune equally, all four remaining members of the High Five now get about $60 billion.

roomforthetuna
Mar 22, 2005

I don't need to know anything about virii! My CUSTOM PROGRAM keeps me protected! It's not like they'll try to come in through the Internet or something!

quote:

I grabbed the sword and used it to slay all three of the dragons.
This is the perfect microcosm of Cline-style.

chitoryu12
Apr 24, 2014

roomforthetuna posted:

This is the perfect microcosm of Cline-style.

I'm really impressed by how quickly Wade gets the egg once he logs into the old computer. A few paragraphs of bland descriptions of playing a primitive hack n' slash game and suddenly he has the ultimate prize in the history of the planet, and we still don't get one iota of emotion out of him!

BaronVonVaderham
Jul 31, 2011

All hail the queen!

roomforthetuna posted:

This is the perfect microcosm of Cline-style.

Needs 2 pages enumerating exactly how many times Wade watched an 80s tv show (that's actually from the 70s) and how the sword was in the background of a scene of the pilot episode.

legendof
Oct 27, 2014

Also it needs to use the word "classic" at least once per sentence.

EVGA Longoria
Dec 25, 2005

Let's go exploring!

Choco1980 posted:

It's already been mentioned that Cline chose the 2000s Mechagodzilla with very little research. Boy didn't he research though. Kaiju and giant robot/sentai stuff is extremely nerdy about the exact size measurements of their embiggened combatants. It takes next to no research to find out exactly how tall each of the bots used in the big battel are, and a Reddit user did just that with this handy graphic:



Kiryu being "twice" as tall as Leopardon? No, they're the same height. Ultraman comes up to about Kiryu's armpit. Raideen to its chin. It is about twice as tall as Aech and Art3mis's mechs at least.

I ended up going down a Kaiju hole yesterday. Cline is mish-mashing multiple Mechagodzillas.

Heisei Mechagodzilla is 120m tall, making it twice as tall as the other suits. Of course, Ultraman would be like, knee high on that Mechagodzilla.

In Godzilla vs Mechagodzilla 2, the Heisei Mechagodzilla combined with the ship Garuda to form Super Mechagodzilla, which had 2 cannons over his shoulders. Could be what he's referring to for that.

It's also the Mechagodzilla that's actually piloted from the inside. Millennium is piloted remotely from a control ship.

The Kiryu activation thing is 100% from Millennium, so he's not just referencing the Heisei one. So he's confusing 2 and getting a whole bunch of other poo poo wrong.

And the Evas are wildly differently sized throughout the show, ranging from 40m to 200m based on height of background stuff. The movies settled on 75m, which would make them taller than anything else, too.

EVGA Longoria fucked around with this message at 01:41 on Apr 4, 2018

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Old Kentucky Shark
May 25, 2012

If you think you're gonna get sympathy from the shark, well then, you won't.


EVGA Longoria posted:

And the Evas are wildly differently sized throughout the show, ranging from 40m to 200m based on height of background stuff. The movies settled on 75m, which would make them taller than anything else, too.
I actually really respect Gainax for just not giving two fucks about having a consistent size (or stats, or on-model appearance) for Evas, given what Evas are or what the show turned out to be about. It just makes it amusing when nerds mash a metaphor for human isolation and feelings of societal alienation into nerd-fights with other giant robots.

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