/r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > /r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

Jeza: Feb 13, 2011; The cries of the dead are terrible indeed; you should try not to hear them.

AfricanBootyShine posted:

My (27F) girlfriend (27F) started driving 100+ miles to interrupt my weekend with my best friend because she was jealous.

How do i get her to be a more reasonable person?

Break up, that's how.

# ? Apr 7, 2018 15:25

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# ? May 30, 2024 09:44

loquacius: Oct 21, 2008

Ghost Leviathan posted:

Reminded of that crazy astronaut lady from years back.

Maybe I'm just being Australian but 100 miles isn't THAT far? Assuming you have a day free to drive.

It isn't THAT far (I looked it up and it's about the length of a drive from Boston to Hartford, which is slightly less than halfway from where we live to where my wife's family lives) but it's pretty far to drive on a whim because it's tearing you apart inside that your girlfriend is going to a baby shower without you

# ? Apr 7, 2018 15:29

girl pants: Sep 21, 2006; I feel a great disturbance in my pants

Gluten Freeman posted:

My mom is upset that I'm [19M] dating her friend [31F] and it's straining my relationship

Buster?!

# ? Apr 7, 2018 16:43

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

man everybody hosed everybody in arrested development.

# ? Apr 7, 2018 16:44

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

I guess I should specify, everybody hosed everybody in Arrested Development. r/relationships is about everybody loving everybody in arrested development.

# ? Apr 7, 2018 16:44

Jack-Off Lantern: Mar 2, 2012

Tobias hosed no one, except himself

# ? Apr 7, 2018 16:50

Ghost Leviathan: Mar 2, 2017; Exploration is ill-advised.

Pick posted:

I guess I should specify, everybody hosed everybody in Arrested Development. r/relationships is about everybody loving everybody in arrested development.

can't argue with that

# ? Apr 7, 2018 16:51

loquacius: Oct 21, 2008

Jack-Off Lantern posted:

Tobias hosed no one, except himself

It's weird to think that Tobias and Lindsay did not gently caress a single time over the show's entire run, but, they probably didn't

# ? Apr 7, 2018 16:52

Coohoolin: Aug 5, 2012; Oor Coohoolie.

loquacius posted:

It's weird to think that Tobias and Lindsay did not gently caress a single time over the show's entire run, but, they probably didn't

They did, if was explicitly shown once when she tries to help him get over his nevernudism by taking her own clothes off.

# ? Apr 7, 2018 16:55

girl pants: Sep 21, 2006; I feel a great disturbance in my pants

loquacius posted:

It's weird to think that Tobias and Lindsay did not gently caress a single time over the show's entire run, but, they probably didn't

they actually did, once. The time in the first season when Lindsay convinced Tobias to take his shorts off. They may also have hosed after breaking into Elaine's house but it's unclear

# ? Apr 7, 2018 16:55

loquacius: Oct 21, 2008

I have not watched a single episode of Arrested since the Netflix season came out and I still remember each of those scenes vividly

# ? Apr 7, 2018 16:57

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

*wipes away a tear* im so proud we haven't lost our roots as people who know tv minutiae

# ? Apr 7, 2018 16:57

girl pants: Sep 21, 2006; I feel a great disturbance in my pants

I used to turn Arrested Development on as background noise when I couldn't sleep so I've probably watched the entire series an unsettling number of times. Except the 4th season, which I watched once and then never again.

# ? Apr 7, 2018 16:59

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

I do that with some shows (Bojack Horseman) but mostly movies. There are some films, like Rango, I've "heard" so many times I can just talk along to them.

It's part of why I think it's sort of goofy people make a big deal about how people used to memorize the Homeric epics. I mean yeah, it's a loving ton. But we also know a lot of song lyrics and movie quotes and poo poo, since we have a ton of it around. lots of options too.

# ? Apr 7, 2018 17:01

Jeza: Feb 13, 2011; The cries of the dead are terrible indeed; you should try not to hear them.

Yeah there was like 3 stories, tops, and nobody could read or write so it made sense.

# ? Apr 7, 2018 17:02

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

Jeza posted:

Yeah there was like 3 stories, tops, and nobody could read or write so it made sense.

As a kid I had like four Disney movies (including The Jungle Book) on vhs and so those I knew perfectly because if a movie went on, it'd be one of those. If I'd had a hundred I'd be less familiar with Homeward Bound.

# ? Apr 7, 2018 17:04

Jeza: Feb 13, 2011; The cries of the dead are terrible indeed; you should try not to hear them.

Pick posted:

As a kid I had like four Disney movies (including The Jungle Book) on vhs and so those I knew perfectly because if a movie went on, it'd be one of those. If I'd had a hundred I'd be less familiar with Homeward Bound.

I used to watch The Aristocats every day on VHS until my brother stole it and hid it so I couldn't, then my parents forced him to give it back so I could continue my daily ritual.

# ? Apr 7, 2018 17:06

John Wick of Dogs: Mar 4, 2017; A real hellraiser

Ghost Leviathan posted:

Reminded of that crazy astronaut lady from years back.

Maybe I'm just being Australian but 100 miles isn't THAT far? Assuming you have a day free to drive.

She lives 12 hours away then his girlfriend is 100 miles into a 850 mile drive

# ? Apr 7, 2018 17:13

girl pants: Sep 21, 2006; I feel a great disturbance in my pants

A.I. Borgland Corp posted:

She lives 12 hours away then his girlfriend is 100 miles into a 850 mile drive

They're both women

# ? Apr 7, 2018 17:22

Modus Pwnens: Dec 29, 2004

girl pants posted:

They're both women

Then how do I know who to side with?

# ? Apr 7, 2018 17:44

value-brand cereal: May 2, 2008

Modus Pwnens posted:

Then how do I know who to side with?

With the one your genitals are most attracted to. If not genital attraction, then flip a coin.

# ? Apr 7, 2018 17:47

an overdue owl: Feb 26, 2012; hoot

Me [27F] with my SO[28F] 4 years, he pushed me out of a van onto concrete, was it justified?

quote:

edit: title should say SO[28M]

Tonight I started questioning my SO about finances and I could tell from the get go he was not in a calm mood about discussing it (though I'm sure he would disagree). I kept pushing the issue and eventually turned of the sport that was on because he is notorious for not listening while watching TV. He got pretty angry at this and demanded I turned the TV back on, but I refused, so he went to leave to go to his friend house to watch it instead. I followed him out of the house and into his van begging him not to leave as he knows how much this stresses me out. I know I probably should have left him and given him his space but by this stage I was panicking. We got half way down the street and I was screaming at him to stop the van, so he stopped and leaned over me, opened the door and pushed me out onto the concrete and drove off. I had to walk back home in bare feet and a see through slip dress with people staring at me and asking if I'm ok and scrapes all over my hands and elbows from landing on the sidewalk.

I've tried to present this situation accurately, I was mad and panicking and screaming, and I did follow him when he tried to leave, does this justify him pushing me out of the van? I need an outsiders opinion.

tl;dr: Screamed, got pushed out of a van, is it justified?

# ? Apr 7, 2018 18:16

Palpek: Dec 27, 2008; Do you feel it, Zach?
My coffee warned me about it.

Caganer posted:

Very sex negative and sexist attitude, her friend is 18. She is an adult and can make a adult choices. Would OP be concerned if an 18 year old man was banging a hot 40f cougar?

Shut the gently caress up idiot. It was just a matter of time until you went full circle to maskenfreiheit. Apparently you can't escape your hosed-up self no matter how many times you re-reg.

# ? Apr 7, 2018 18:18

Endorph: Jul 22, 2009

Palpek posted:

Shut the gently caress up idiot. It was just a matter of time until you went full circle to maskenfreiheit. Apparently you can't escape your hosed-up self no matter how many times you re-reg.

i dont post in this thread much, but, controversial opinion, maybe the lady who constantly talks about her ex-boyfriend and how she should have killed herself to spite him, and the guy who constantly talks about how he should have let his ex-girlfriend bleed to death, should both be banned, because these forums are doing nothing but enabling their incredibly layered and complex mental issues and feeding their complexes that no human relationship is functional, and also they make seventeen insufferable posts a page, each. that is my mod feedback. thoughts?

# ? Apr 7, 2018 18:25

Jeza: Feb 13, 2011; The cries of the dead are terrible indeed; you should try not to hear them.

Palpek posted:

Shut the gently caress up idiot. It was just a matter of time until you went full circle to maskenfreiheit. Apparently you can't escape your hosed-up self no matter how many times you re-reg.

What's funny is that it was obviously him from the very start, way before he was officially outed, not just because of the post formatting, but that he has the same faintly regressive opinions about pretty much everything except sex positivity, on which he is a leading radical progressive lmao

# ? Apr 7, 2018 18:30

Admiral Ray: May 17, 2014; Proud Musk and Dogecoin fanboy

My dad (M76) shot himself on Christmas Day. My hateful brother (M50) called to tell me and to let me know I�d been written out of my dad�s sizable will. How do I handle my brothers? How do I move past this? (self.relationships)

quote:

Ok I have two brothers- one older named Chris and one younger named Jack. Our mom died of cancer 20 years ago. My dad is always been an alcoholic and never really had to work too hard because my grandfather was wealthy. My brother Chris had isolated me from my dad for the last 6-7 months. I was only allowed to email him (we live 3 hours from each either). Chris is my dad�s keeper, basically he sat around and waited for my dad to die.

On Christmas Day, my dad drove near the woods, got out of his truck and shot himself in the face. Chris called me later to tell me and to let me know my dad had written me out of the will. Chris is well known as a pathological liar and is very manipulative. Dad changed his will in October-about 60 days before he died.

He and my other brother claim they know it�s not fair to leave me out, but they want to �honor Dad�s wishes�. Little background. My dad did not earn a dime of his money. My grandfather worked his rear end off and was a self-made millionaire. But my dad always lorded the money over us.

Both brothers are now hanging out together ( they despised each other FOR YEARS). I�m the odd man out. The ironic part is I just married my husband who has twice as much money as my dad did, so I don�t even need the money.

I would love to have a relationship with my younger brother, but he is distant from me (maybe he feels guilty for being greedy?) I don�t know. I�m just sad because now all my original family is gone and I feel alone, hurt, and betrayed.

What should I do? What could I do?

TL;DR My dad killed himself on Christmas Day and had just written me out of his will. My manipulative brother I�m 100% positive orchestrated it. I miss my brothers though. Do I cut them off completely? Do I leave the door open for talk later?

Sounds like your family kinda sucks, to be honest. :sever:

and don't even go to the funeral unless you want to fight.

# ? Apr 7, 2018 18:33

loquacius: Oct 21, 2008

Endorph posted:

i dont post in this thread much, but, controversial opinion, maybe the lady who constantly talks about her ex-boyfriend and how she should have killed herself to spite him, and the guy who constantly talks about how he should have let his ex-girlfriend bleed to death, should both be banned, because these forums are doing nothing but enabling their incredibly layered and complex mental issues and feeding their complexes that no human relationship is functional, and also they make seventeen insufferable posts a page, each. that is my mod feedback. thoughts?

If it helps I think both of them are just shitposting

Admiral Ray posted:

My dad (M76) shot himself on Christmas Day. My hateful brother (M50) called to tell me and to let me know I’d been written out of my dad’s sizable will. How do I handle my brothers? How do I move past this? (self.relationships)

Sounds like your family kinda sucks, to be honest. and don't even go to the funeral unless you want to fight.

Yeah OP said themselves they don't need the money, so there's no reason to poke the bear here IMO

# ? Apr 7, 2018 18:34

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

Admiral Ray posted:

My dad (M76) shot himself on Christmas Day. My hateful brother (M50) called to tell me and to let me know I�d been written out of my dad�s sizable will. How do I handle my brothers? How do I move past this? (self.relationships)

Sounds like your family kinda sucks, to be honest. and don't even go to the funeral unless you want to fight.

Get a lawyer.

# ? Apr 7, 2018 18:34

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

Also you have nothing there in that family, so just get the meanest lawyer you can find, and if nothing else you can use lawyer fees to burn up a bunch of their money and make them sad. You might get money out of it too but more importantly, you can cause them a ton of pain. Your manipulative brother was also probably such a dumbass he had your dad write you out ENTIRELY, which is easier to contest than just getting a smaller proportion.

# ? Apr 7, 2018 18:36

Endorph: Jul 22, 2009

lady's brothers hate her for marrying into money, bonded over screwing her out of dad's will. any attempts to reconcile would just ruin the rekindled friendship her brothers have going on, and she's rich so she can just buy purse dogs and name them after her brothers like a normal person. :sever:

edit: be sure to :sever:

the dogs too

# ? Apr 7, 2018 18:37

Jeza: Feb 13, 2011; The cries of the dead are terrible indeed; you should try not to hear them.

Easily a case to dispute the will there considering it was so close to when he killed himself. I'd dispute it even if I didn't need the money to spite the siblings who tried to take it all.

# ? Apr 7, 2018 18:37

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

Jeza posted:

Easily a case to dispute the will there considering it was so close to when he killed himself. I'd dispute it even if I didn't need the money to spite the siblings who tried to take it all.

# ? Apr 7, 2018 18:37

Admiral Ray: May 17, 2014; Proud Musk and Dogecoin fanboy

I [13/f] don't know who I am anymore & am having mental health. My mother [40 something/f] refuses to get me evaluated.Personal issues (self.relationships)

quote:

Using a throwaway to post this- I'm scared that someone will identify me. My brain is scattered, so if this post is unclear, sorry to everyone on this subreddit. I just want somewhere to talk about my issues. I grew up as a young kid with my father's love (or so I believed as a small child) The past few years though, he would guilt trip, punish, and otherwise just yell at me for anything that I would do that otherwise didn't fall perfectly in line with what he wanted from me. It wasn't until the past couple years that I started to feel physically unsafe. He became a severe alcoholic until the point where he started to insult me- yelling horrible things and even threatened to attack me. The rest of my family and I were forced to move out of the house we grew up in.

Because of this, my life has been blown in all directions. I don't know if I'm mentally ill or not, though I strongly believe I am. Even though I am now away from my dad, I have become extremely flighty. If anyone touches me where I can't see them, I will freak out. Sometimes when sometone yells at me, I start shaking and flashback to my dad yelling at me. I have lost interest in things I used to enjoy. For one, writing. I used to sit in my room and writer stories for hours on end. I was starting to get into screen writing and was hoping to continue to study that and then possibly go to university and get a career in that field because I loved it. But every time I try to write, I am reminded of my father. I have lost my spark for many other things to. I just feel empty.

Sometimes I feel as if I am going insane. I have long gaps in memory during the day- sometimes I'm on the laptop at 3:00 and then all of the sudden it is 8:00. My mother frequently calls me a liar for things I have no recollection of doing. Sometimes my friends say I did things that I don't remember doing and it scares me. One time, I heard a dog barking. It continued to do so for a few minutes- during this time I asked my mother if she had heard the dog (she was sitting with me at the time) and she said no. Sometimes I hear voices, although they just come and go as a few short words.

I have told my mother about these symptoms so I could go get evaluated. She just told me what I was expereriencing was normal teenager problems and all of them would go away if I stopped overthinking things and just hung out with my friends more often. I don't know who could help me anymore. I just want to go back to the person I was before or at least be close to it.

EDIT: MENTAL HEALTH ISSUES. Sorry I screwed that up.

TL;DR: I'm having mental health problems and basically don't know who I am. My mother thinks I'm fine and refuses to get me evaluated.

# ? Apr 7, 2018 19:03

dudeness: Mar 5, 2010; Cat Army; Fallen Rib

Me [35M] American with my Sri Lankan Long-Distance Girlfriend [27F] over 5 years.

quote:

Howdy Reddit judgment crew, I am laying out my deepest secret that no one knows about me because I feel like I am not being understood. Sometime in 2013, I began to talk to a girl on the internet from Sri Lanka (I am from the USA). She was considerate, kind, and very level-headed which I truly appreciated her solid and well-balanced views. I visited her in 2016, totally expecting to meet a girl who wanted me (in that way?) but instead was a girl who had never kissed a guy or even really contemplated sex in anything other than an abstract term. This really surprised me because she had mentioned how she had stabbed (scarred?) a previous dude's name into her leg when she was younger and tried to seduce him, so I assumed she had at least messed around a little. I was about to call it off, I mean stabbing a guys name in your leg has got to be a red flag, amiright? but I remembered some of the stupid poo poo I did as a teen, and because she seemed so level-headed, I gave her a pass.

So in 2016, I went to Sri Lanka, I flew across the planet, and I met her. She was, well, distant. She didn't kiss me, she didn't hug me, she wasn't affectionate at all. I convinced her we should meet her family and parents (against her wishes?) But we did and visited many landmarks in Sri Lanka, and despite me buying hotels with 1 bed, she would always take a blanket and hide on the furthermost corner away from me.

At the end of my trip in 2016, I felt like I had totally wasted my time and money.

I have been supporting her, rent, food, college tuition, medical, and even family emergencies since 2013. Around 900~1800 a month.

When I got home from the vacation and the long flight with only so much as a really awkward hug I began to think that I had made a huge mistake all this time.

Then she started texting me that she was only scared. She had never even kissed a guy. She was not ready to be close to me, etc. She said she really hoped we could marry, and I said that was only possible if she was more physical and she said yes yes yes, she was just really nervous and scared. I decided to believe her. She wasn't close to me while I was there because she was scared and a virgin and never kissed anyone before. OK, well, I actually believed her because she seemed a little awkward sometimes, and hey, I grew up as a nerd and didn't really become well adjusted until I got a good job and learned a lot of hard lessons from mistakes I made in a professional setting.

Well now it is 2018, and I have continued to send money every month, usually over $1000, and recently I sent a text, saying I missed her and I felt lonely, and I asked if she could send me a picture of her in a bra or something.

She freaked out, saying I am the worst, a sex maniac/addict. I haven't talked about sex or wanting to kiss her or touch or anything!! She said that I am exactly like all other guys and just obsessed with sex, etc. I said, look, I, of course, want to have sex, but there's like 47 steps of intimacy first I want to get to know with her first. Sex isn't actually the end goal, I want to be with someone I can be close with and trust and be intimate with.

She hasn't replied in 5 days.

But I suspect she will when rent is due...

Reddit, what is going on? Am I being taken for a ride? Should I just stop? I believe she's genuinely very innocent and doesn't understand intimacy at all, but as an American male at 35, there's a certain level of understanding I have and starting at square 1 is very difficult, but I am willing to put in the effort if it is worth it. But she's accusing me of being a sex addict when I doubt she even knows what the term means?

I have been celibate since I started talking to her in 2013. It has been quite a dry spell and I admit I asked for something a bit selfish by asking to see her in her bra, but I really like this girl and I have been giving so much and I feel like I get so little in return.

Frankly, this is the first time we have fought, and I feel like, after 5 years, asking for a picture in a bra is nowhere near the same as being a sex addict? If I am a sex addict then everyone I know is beyond an addict because I don't know anyone in my age group who has gone more than 5 years without sex?

TL;DR Hey, I am not proud of it. But after so many years and very conservative pictures from her, at best, I finally asked for her to send me a picture of herself in a bra. She reacted badly accusing me of being a sex addict/maniac and being a jerk.

# ? Apr 7, 2018 19:15

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

dudeness posted:

Me [35M] American with my Sri Lankan Long-Distance Girlfriend [27F] over 5 years.

I completely respect the ability of women in developing nations to take advantage of morons, although it is a sad state of affairs when a guy is this dense. Does your weewee make you this dumb?

# ? Apr 7, 2018 19:18

DragQueenofAngmar: Dec 29, 2009; You shall not pass!

apparently not because this dumbo's donger isn't even in play lmao

# ? Apr 7, 2018 19:23

DragQueenofAngmar: Dec 29, 2009; You shall not pass!

imagine being so alone and desperate for any shred of attention that you'll take fake affection knowing full well it's fake and entirely so you'll pay her rent. then imagine how you get that way

# ? Apr 7, 2018 19:24

LadyPictureShow: Nov 18, 2005; Success!

Admiral Ray posted:

I [13/f] don't know who I am anymore & am having mental health. My mother [40 something/f] refuses to get me evaluated.Personal issues (self.relationships)

Jesus, poor kid. I will never understand why some people don�t believe in mental health care/therapy or they just shrug their shoulders when their kid is obviously struggling. Can she go talk to a school counselor or anything?

My parents were convinced I was just �moody� and had a �bad attitude�. Joke was on them!

# ? Apr 7, 2018 20:05

Meme Poker Party: Sep 1, 2006; by Azathoth

DragQueenofAngmar posted:

imagine being so alone and desperate for any shred of attention that you'll take fake affection knowing full well it's fake and entirely so you'll pay her rent. then imagine how you get that way

Must not be that hard to imagine after all there are hundreds of thousands of Twitch subscribers.

# ? Apr 7, 2018 20:15

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# ? May 30, 2024 09:44

Midnight Voyager: Jul 2, 2008; Lipstick Apathy

LadyPictureShow posted:

Jesus, poor kid. I will never understand why some people don�t believe in mental health care/therapy or they just shrug their shoulders when their kid is obviously struggling. Can she go talk to a school counselor or anything?

My parents were convinced I was just �moody� and had a �bad attitude�. Joke was on them!

If she even has a school counselor. We didn't. :smith:

# ? Apr 7, 2018 22:09

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