Match Card and Results posted:

#1 Buscus Brawl
Bone Pimp (c) vs. El Catire Arrecho
El Catire Arrecho takes the win in this strong debut

Scene: Fruitsniffer promotes his new album, I guess. Not sure if this was a success.

#2 Three-Way
Dash Rendar vs. anilEhilated vs. Schir
They just all throw each other around for a while but then dash takes the win with his big meaty fists

#3 Singles Match
Lore Convoluter vs. Masked Man
They barely flipped, but Lore wins

Scene: DCB announces that there will be a tournament for the LPFWA Women's Title but there's only 12 spots and a 13th female member has joined the ranks, awaiting her debut at Toxx Party. Since DCB is the bottom seed for reasons she has defend her spot in the Tourmanment against Rara tonight and the loser of that match against the newcomer, Garbo Girl, not to be confused with Garbo Barba in a Tables match at Toxx Party.

#4 Bunny Championship :3
Link vs. D the Destroyer (c)
The Hero of Hugrule is no match for D

#5 Women's Tournamet Qualifying Match
Terara Fluffybottom vs. DivineCoffeeBinge
What a war! Rara takes it

Intermission: LPFWA vs. The Universe
Palpatine vs. Macho Man Randy Savage
Macho Madness is running wild YEAH!

Scene: Nuffkins chooses his opponent for Toxx Party. It's a tree.

Main Event: Co-Comm Title Match
oRa 66 vs. Frederick Hope and Flamander (c)
Freddie and Flamander defend their titles once more

DivineCoffeeBinge posted:

Okay, so Plan Win All The Matches From Now On didn't work out.

It's just... you know, Rara's my friend! Also, the last time I punched her a whole lot we sort of broke the space-time continuum and I was a little afraid of doing that again.

Seriously, I don't need another Hound of Tindalos coming after me. Those were dark, dark days.

Also, Hounds of Tindalos do not, it turns out, like coffee. Which is part of what makes them horrifying.

nine-gear crow posted:

...Oh wow. Just when I thought you couldn't look like a bigger dickhead.
Yeah I stole Macho Man's sunglasses. What of it?
I guess that makes up for getting tooled by him, huh?
Says the guy who lost to the hobo and the crash test dummy. Again.

Kadorhal posted:

Ah, don't worry too much about what Palpy says, my man. You at least proved you're not Buscus material _{for about a week}.

Thanks, I guess. Though, unrelated... where the hell were you for two months?

Oh, yeah, that. It was an impostor. A really bad one, far as I could gather. How did none of you notice?

Well, I was a little suspicious... but then he said I was the best in the business... but anyway, why was he replacing you?

It's kind of a long story, but the gist of it is that it was the end result of an assassination attempt. One that failed, obviously, so I'm back now.

And... why are you back now?

Because much like the eye for talent that was the only attribute of mine the impostor shared, I also have an eye for business opportunities! I simply told them we could work out a deal for extending their services to the Moon, now that it's back where it belongs in Earth's orbit. We're officially part of a partnership now, Kadorhal-CabalCo Industries.

Well, okay... weird, and doesn't really make sense. Less so than any of the other weird poo poo that goes on around here. But okay. Does this change anything about how I need to wrestle?

No, no, not at all. All that's changing is the variety of products we advertise. You keep doing you, my man, prove... well, that you're not Buscus material at the very least, _{I think you can manage that for another week or two.}

Yeah... thanks, I think.

IGgy IGsen posted:

Okay! This Saturday we'll have us a Toxx Party. There won't be Toxxes. Well, you can make Toxxes if you want but uh...
Vote on who gets to face Macho Man this time! He took out four of our guys already.


#1 Eight-Way Elimination
El Catire Arrecho vs. Face vs. John Cena vs. anilEhilated vs. Tommy Wiseau vs. The Masked Man vs. Lotus Aura vs. Dr. Ham

#2 Bunny Championship :3
Toad vs. D the Destroyer (c)

#3 Co-Comm Championships
Third Street Sinners vs. Freddie Hope and Flamander (c)

#4 Kawaii Championship
Tolvie vs. Jumpy-Chan (c)

#5 How many drunks does it take to change a lightbulb? (TLC)
IGgy vs. Fruitsniffer vs. Angus McMutton vs. Dash Rendar

#6 LP Superstar Championship
Kylo Ren vs. Palpatine (c)

Intermission: LPFWA vs. the Universe
https://goo.gl/forms/SvTBMqJGMBG1ENs03 vs. Macho Man Randy Savage

#7 Women's Tournament Qualifier
Garbo Girl vs. DivineCoffeeBinge

Main Event: LPFWA Championship
A tree vs. nuffkinsVEVO (c)

yerpalhal, post:115, topic:2484, full:true posted:

Blimey! wotcher cock frui’y me good friend. Let us toast ter da dearf ov dash rendar an’ da return ov yaaahr smile as we get yaaahr ‘uggin’ groove back me son. Nuff said, yeah?

,

Lawd above! da ‘ell is dis is me translator on da fritz. I should go up da stairs ter da bar…err iggys office an’ enquire whats goin’ on. , innit.

Vanderlyle, post:116, topic:2484, full:true posted:

“An eight-way elimination match?! Este podria ser el desafio mas grande al que me he enfrentado… But I will face it head-on! Or my name is not El Catire Arrecho!”

VolticSurge posted:

Old man, it appears our fated duel approaches. If you're afraid,feel free to back down. But if not...*Slams fists together* I'm going Qrow Branwen on your rear end.

So, getting drunk and spewing stilted exposition?

FOR THE LOVE OF...whatever we worship. The Force,I guess. Anyway dude, not cool.

Oh, and don't forget plowing your sis-

NOT loving COOL!

What? It runs in the family.

Hitlers Gay Secret posted:

: You got a championship coming up, don't mess this up Toad.You can do this.

: You'rea gonna mess this up.

: NO I WON'T MARIO! NO I WON'T!

Results posted:

Scene: The Hugrule Warriors and their antics, I guess

#1 Eight-Way Elimination
El Catire Arrecho vs. Face vs. John Cena vs. anilEhilated vs. Tommy Wiseau vs. The Masked Man vs. Lotus Aura vs. Dr. Ham
anil somehow survived seven people

#2 Bunny Championship :3
Toad vs. D the Destroyer (c)
Toad is da best but... D is da bestest. D retains

#3 Co-Comm Championships
Third Street Sinners vs. Freddie Hope and Flamander (c)
Wow, what an upset. The Third Street Sinners make a strong first impression by taking the titles home

Scene: Bone Pimp gets told off for being at ringside despite being the Buscus champ. Deadly sin, possibly a third street sin.

#4 Kawaii Championship
Tolvie vs. Jumpy-Chan (c)
Tolvie smashes Jumpy and becomes the new Kawaii champion

#5 How many drunks does it take to change a lightbulb? (TLC)
IGgy vs. Fruitsniffer vs. Angus McMutton vs. Dash Rendar
What a trainwreck! IGgy wins!

Scene: Kylo announces the formation of the First ORA and palpy is sad and tells Kylo that he'll show him is Hot Bod (tm) too. He then does exactly that.

#6 LP Superstar Championship
Kylo Ren vs. Palpatine (c)
Palpy proves that he knows the power of the Dark Side better than Kylo, retaining the LP Superstar title

Scene Betrayal! Face sides with Kylo and Palpy lies down broken

Intermission: LPFWA vs. the Universe
A tree vs. Macho Man Randy Savage
Yes, indeed, the tree beats the Macho Man!

#7 Women's Tournament Qualifier
Garbo Girl vs. DivineCoffeeBinge
DCB wins! By countout... BUT SHE WINS

Main Event: LPFWA Championship
A tree vs. nuffkinsVEVO (c)
Nuffkins wins once more proving not only that he's stronger than a tree but by extension that he's stronger than Macho Man Randy Savage. Can Nuffkins ever be defeated????

yerpalhal, post:118, topic:2484, full:true posted:

-oor pal leans on a bar necking down some beer-


I get it now. I get Iggys whole life is pain stuff now. I wanted Dash, I got him but I still got screwed by life. God I wish I was wie the hugrule warriors they seem mostly happy. Well sides from fruitsniffer guy needs a hug…gods I need a hug…

-smashes his bottle-

Barkeep another the strang stuff this time

quote:

Blind Sally posted:

i have fallen behind with this LP. clearly i need to catch up

Blind Sally posted:

what, did Dash Rendar win or something?

IGgy IGsen posted:

I did not enter Dash in the women's tournament. So no. Madness won.

IGgy IGsen posted:

Show starts in 15 minutes. https://www.twitch.tv/iggy_igsen

Rather Watch Them posted:

Well... At least the Rara plot worked. That Potion of the Incorporeal was effective, but... I have to wonder if it was worth it.

Congrats Nadira, you earned it. I think. The back half of the tournament is kind of a blur.

DivineCoffeeBinge posted:

So from what I understand, there has been Timeline Fuckery.

This calls for my new brew, Crisis On Infinite Coffees! An infinity of caffeine in a single unified continuity mug!

Raramuffin posted:

This is probably the most favorable outcome for me, if you think about it. :3

... help, please. this is very uncomfortable. <:3

DivineCoffeeBinge posted:

I don't... I mean, can we open the trunk? Will that work?

Is... is the trunk a part of her now?

No, that can't be it; the trunk would have bunny ears if that was a thing. Um....

IGgy IGsen posted:

Intermission: LPFWA vs. The Universe
https://goo.gl/forms/UpmLBChDQnM9Anwi2

Hitlers Gay Secret posted:

I guess it's already been decided.

Raramuffin posted:

This is probably the most favorable outcome for me, if you think about it. :3

... help, please. this is very uncomfortable. <:3

IGgy IGsen posted:

Scene 1: Hell-En... I mean Nadira, The LPFWA Women's Champ comes to the ring to talk a bit about her achievement but then Hell-Ena the LPFWA Women's Champ comes in and is upset that there's two titles... I dunno. They'll have a match to unify the belts as well as the timelines at the next PPV.

#1 Buscus Brawl
Bone Pimp (c) vs. Fruitsniffer
FRUITY HUGS BONE PIMP!

#2 Singles Match
Konami Kouda vs. Garbo Girl
Konami basically kicked around Garbo for a while

#3 Singles Match
anilEhilated vs. Macro Man Keynes
anil picks up the win via pinfall after a lot of back and forth.

#4 Bunny Title
Kylo Ren vs. D the Destroyer (c)
Kylo, in his new edgelord outfit, beats D for the cute title :3

#5 Co-Comm Championship
Unlikely Roommates vs. Third Street Sinners (c)
As unlikely as their being roommates is, they are also unlikely champions. But sometimes unlikely things happen. Like this time

Intermission: LPFWA vs. The Universe
Fruity and TCP vs. Hiromu and Daryl
Fruity and Chis Pine win, Fruity went nuts at the end and secured the pinfall.

Main Event: Kawaii Championship
DivineCoffeeBinge vs. Tolvie (c)
DCB tried. But Tolvie is still champion

VolticSurge posted:

Is Ren's portrait gonna be updated for his new outfit?

Tevery Best posted:

You know what the problem with four-ways is?
25% less chance to win.
YOU MEAN 25 PERCENTAGE POINTS SMALLER CHANCE TO WIN, LORENS!
...what exactly were you doing in my locker?
And, more to the point, HOW DO YOU KNOW MY REAL NAME?

IGgy IGsen posted:

It's time again for LPFWA!
Join me again this Saturday, at the usual wrestle time on the usual wrestle-channel.
It's the last show before THE BIG SHOW which is the name of the next PPV because I couldn't really think of anything. The WWE wrestler Big Show is probably gonna show up.

You can vote on the bonus match here!

#1 Buscus Brawl
Bone Pimp (c) vs. Dr. Ham

#2 3-Way
Samus vs. Lady of the Lancet vs. Konami Kouda

#3 Hardcore Match
Garbo Girl vs. Yelizaveta RN

#4 Bunny Championship :3
Lore Convoluter vs. Kylo Ren (c)

#5 Singles
a tree vs. Freddie Hope

Intermission: LPFWA vs. The Universe
https://goo.gl/forms/C2CmdthMYHU1cFky1

Main Event: LP Superstar Championship
D the Destroyer vs. Palpatine (c)

Tevery Best posted:

Previously, on Adventures of Lore Convoluter:


To understand how I know your name, first you have to hear my convoluted backstory!
Cool, I guess.
I was not always the greatest mathematician who ever lived. In fact, there was a time, a long while ago, when I did not care for mathematics at all.
It was then that I met my master, who taught me to love numbers, and explore probabilities.
My master's name was... Edward Lorenz.
I don't think this has much to do with anything.
Well, I kinda had this free association when I read the LPFWA roster, and I thought what the hell, so I sneaked into your locker and read through your immigration forms.
...why did you decide to tell me this?
Not much of a reason. But I also have to tell you something else I calculated!
*gasps*
What would that be?
I have learned the secret of unlocking the true power of the Power Gloves!
...I already know it?
The forces involved in the activity of just one Power Glove are amazing. The two are impossible to contain without an outside circuit that could ground them! And only one material can be used for it!
Yeah, Lepfawium. I know that. It's what the LPFWA championship belts are made of.
Which means that if you win a belt, you will be able to unlock the true power of the Power Gloves, and be unstoppable!
I know. I told you I know that.
So, to make it up for going through your stuff, I pulled some strings. You're getting a title match in Episode 23. All right, see ya!
Huh. Who would have thought that crazy guy has so much influence backstage in LPFWA.
ANYHOW, now I must prepare for my most important fight... so far.
Kylo Ren might have the Force...
It won't help him much against THE POWER. Glove.
It's so bad.
That line, I mean.

Results posted:

Scene: Goat has a serious talk about the losing streak with Bone Pimp. Then Chris Pine comes and says "Meow, that's right."

#1 Buscus Brawl
Bone Pimp (c) vs. Dr. Ham
The streak continues! Bone Pimp takes up the loss!

#2 3-Way
Samus vs. Lady of the Lancet vs. Konami Kouda
Samus wrecks everybody beautifully and gets to challenge for the Kawaii Title next week!

#3 Hardcore Match
Garbo Girl vs. Yelizaveta RN
Yelizaveta does what she does best. Make people unable to get up anymore.

Scene: Palpy talks about his revenge plans against various people

#4 Bunny Championship :3
Lore Convoluter vs. Kylo Ren (c)
Kylo retains, but not without Face's interference. Palpy would be proud if he wasn't so mad about this.

#5 Singles
a tree vs. Freddie Hope
Woah! That went on for a while, but Freddie eventually got tree down for the 1... 2... 3...

Intermission: LPFWA vs. The Universe
Dash Rendar vs. Samoa Joe vs. Kurt Angle vs. Scott Steiner
Normally if you go one on one with another wrestler you got a fifty fifty chance of winning. But Dash is a genetic freak and he's not normal, so you got a 100% at least at beat him. Then you add Kurt Angle to the mix, your chance of winning drastic go up, because Kurt Angle KNOWS he can't beat me so he's not even gonna try. But then he pins me anyway and I'm sad. The numbers don't lie, they are 1, 2, 3.

Main Event: LP Superstar Championship
D the Destroyer vs. Palpatine (c)
[spoiler]D wins by countout, which means Palpy retains through Championship's advantage yadda yadda.

Scene: Nuffkins announces an open challenge, Fred Hope answers[/spoiler]

SCENE???!??!?!?
YerPalHal issues a FOIT ME M8 challenge to IGgy, who is the reigning champion as Stone Cold Boss Man Nakamura

quote:

Hey everyone, let me introduce a new Championship belt!


The FOIT ME M8 Title!
If you watched the last two streams you already know what's up with that one but I'm finally making it official. A belt challenged for and defended by actual people playing WWE 2k18 on PS4. Anyone can challenge as long as they honor the rules.

1. Belt is challenged for by saying "FOIT ME M8" to the reigning champion.
2. Ideally these matches take place after a stream but if not title matches need to be recorded in some way.
3. All participants have to pick random, except for the reigning champion, who uses the wrestler they won the title with.
4. It's a shoot, brother!
5. If the title changes hands the wrestler who held it until then ACTUALLY loving DIES FOR REAL! and can't be used anymore and must be skipped. Except the Undertaker. He always comes back.
6. If you are champion you are allowed to create a champion's entrance and attire for the wrestler you won with. You are also allowed to change their twitter handle to @Sting. You don't have to do any of that but that's what I'm doing. But keep in mind that the actual title is the Twitter handle @Sting. As champion you SHOULD bring it to the ring at all times.
7. If there's really messed up lag across an ocean then that's cool, I guess. The netcode is bad anyway.

Current Champion:
IGgy as Big Boss Man '91

Past Champions (dead people):
JunpeiHyde as Sting

Failed Challengers (also dead people):
JunpeiHyde as The Miz