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Not really what a kid said, but one of the kids I work with was very angry over something, in a way he could only express by saying "I AM ANGRY!". I figured it'd be a teaching moment, so I asked him what he should do when he's angry to make himself not so angry. His response was to hunch over, spread his legs, and try and poo poo his goddamned pants.  I meant like 'count to ten' or 'think of something that makes you happy', kid. kee-rist. MisterBibs has a new favorite as of 23:16 on Apr 18, 2018 |
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Apr 18, 2018 23:13
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That kid is going places. Maybe not college, but places.
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Apr 19, 2018 01:11
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^He's going, alright!MisterBibs posted:Not really what a kid said, but one of the kids I work with was very angry over something, in a way he could only express by saying "I AM ANGRY!". I figured it'd be a teaching moment, so I asked him what he should do when he's angry to make himself not so angry. Omg! An angry pooper! I haven't had one of those, but years ago some of my students were telling me about how another kid's brother was an angry pooper. When he didn't get his way at their house, he'd clench up and poo poo or piss in the middle of the floor. One of the boys informed me with a concerned look "Poop happens more often."
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Apr 19, 2018 01:45
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My 6 year old daughter got a couple of dragon toys. I asked her about them. "This is the girl power dragon. She's super strong and can deal 2119 damage with one attack. Her HP was 2092 but then she ate the Super Sausage and now her HP is 1,000,015." "Oh wow, so what's this other dragon?" "This is the baby love dragon." "Alright, what does this baby love dragon do?" "I DON'T KNOW, YOU TELL ME!" <  >
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Apr 19, 2018 01:54
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sweeperbravo posted:^He's going, alright! 
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Apr 19, 2018 04:52
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U-DO Burger posted:My 6 year old daughter got a couple of dragon toys. I asked her about them. It's one of several collectible "Supremes" dragons, clearly.
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Apr 19, 2018 12:20
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MisterBibs posted:Not really what a kid said, but one of the kids I work with was very angry over something, in a way he could only express by saying "I AM ANGRY!". I figured it'd be a teaching moment, so I asked him what he should do when he's angry to make himself not so angry. quote:MisterBibs It's like poetry, it rhymes
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Apr 20, 2018 00:19
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The fourth graders discovered yo momma jokes today: Yo momma's so stupid she went to Zara and thought she was going to buy a lady and ran around screaming WHERE'S THE LADY FOR ME TO BUY??? Yo momma's so fat that when she farts they evacuate the city. Yo momma's so fat she ate the aquarium. Yo momma's so fat she has two hundred butts and they're ALL FAT, TOO! Yo momma's so fat that she thought Platón is a plátano and she ate him. (Platón dumped water on his own crotch in response and we ended up having to have A Talk.)
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Apr 20, 2018 12:28
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Nephew on Skype last night: Nephew: Remember I want to be an astronaut? I changed my mind. Me: Why? Nephew: There are no horses in space!
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Apr 20, 2018 15:52
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For sale: two hundred butts, all fat.
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Apr 20, 2018 16:01
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Pastry of the Year posted:For sale: two hundred butts, all fat.
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Apr 20, 2018 20:40
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For sale: Spaceship; no horses
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Apr 21, 2018 09:51
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Angry pooper seeks baby love dragon.
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Apr 21, 2018 10:12
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Fleta Mcgurn posted:Yo momma's so fat she has two hundred butts and they're ALL FAT, TOO!
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Apr 21, 2018 17:25
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When my son was around three he came out of his room wearing only a cowboy hat and boots, holding a plastic revolver and sings, "P I M, that spells pimp. P I M, that spells pimp" He told me once, about the same time, that he has a robot dog that runs on DOS.
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Apr 21, 2018 22:41
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My son and I were listening to songs on youtube and Party Hard was about to come on. During the opening, I asked him “what do we do when it’s time to party?” He answers “yell out a cuss word”. What kinda parties is this kid going to?
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Apr 22, 2018 13:57
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omnibobb posted:My son and I were listening to songs on youtube and Party Hard was about to come on. During the opening, I asked him “what do we do when it’s time to party?” He answers “yell out a cuss word”. Kids' parties have gotten hardcore.
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Apr 22, 2018 16:50
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mastergeebo posted:When my son was around three he came out of his room wearing only a cowboy hat and boots, holding a plastic revolver and sings, "P I M, that spells pimp. P I M, that spells pimp" I mean, it's right there in the name. Dog Operating System. sweeperbravo posted:It's one of several collectible "Supremes" dragons, clearly. I want you to know that this was noticed and loved.
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Apr 23, 2018 15:47
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There's a kid in the library singing, "Underpants! Underpants!" over and over. Also, I saw the three-year-olds yesterday, for the second time: ME: "Do you remember my name?" *silence* Then... *a hand* ME: "Yes, you!" KID: "...books."
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Apr 24, 2018 10:33
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So my class of eleven-year-olds somehow got distracted into conversation about the mechanics of time travel that went on a while. Halfway through, a girl put her hand up, looking thoughtful.  Yes? What if... What if you had a giant foot? What?!Her theory turned out to be that, with a big enough foot, you could literally step back through time. Did have a nice "  Ohhh!" moment of realisation out of them when they grasped the "go back in time and kill your own Grandparent" paradox. They then set about trying to find a solution that would allow them to kill their own Grandparent without starting a parallel timeline.
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Apr 27, 2018 20:54
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Calexio posted:So my class of eleven-year-olds somehow got distracted into conversation about the mechanics of time travel that went on a while. Halfway through, a girl put her hand up, looking thoughtful. That's a hell of a curriculum.
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Apr 27, 2018 21:23
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Ariong posted:That's a hell of a curriculum. They've invented Shaq to the Future so
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Apr 27, 2018 22:15
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Ariong posted:That's a hell of a curriculum. We were initially learning about the Victorians and I got distracted. It actually put us behind on the entire lesson, which wasn't great and I shouldn't really have let it go on.
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Apr 28, 2018 09:36
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Calexio posted:We were initially learning about the Victorians and I got distracted. It actually put us behind on the entire lesson, which wasn't great and I shouldn't really have let it go on. While I 100% understand the need to keep up with a curriculum and learn important things, I'm always a little saddened when teachers say to me "yeah, they were really interested in x and wanted to problem solve it together, but I have to talk about y." I went to weird montessori schools for a few years so I'm a little skewed on this, maybe, I just worry about The Man squashing kids' natural curiosity to learn. The problem solving behind time travel is pretty complicated and I'd love to hear what they came up with!
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Apr 29, 2018 03:19
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Something
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May 5, 2018 23:00
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omg that is adorable Also: Nephews were playing with a couple except they didnt have crayons Addition: My nephews were playing around with a couple of commedia dell'arte dolls and younger one was like "ew gross why are they kissing!?!" his brother: "theyre not kissing, theyre setting up a high five younger: p sure high-fivin isnt allowed at weddings Carthag Tuek has a new favorite as of 23:43 on May 5, 2018 |
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May 5, 2018 23:36
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No photos, but I gave my 8 year old my phone last night and told him he was in charge of my facebook. He immediately put Weird Al on the computer and started making music videos.
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May 6, 2018 12:44
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Fleta Mcgurn posted:Something That sketch of the robber is some Zodiac poo poo.
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May 6, 2018 12:46
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porkswordonboard posted:While I 100% understand the need to keep up with a curriculum and learn important things, I'm always a little saddened when teachers say to me "yeah, they were really interested in x and wanted to problem solve it together, but I have to talk about y." I went to weird montessori schools for a few years so I'm a little skewed on this, maybe, I just worry about The Man squashing kids' natural curiosity to learn. The problem solving behind time travel is pretty complicated and I'd love to hear what they came up with! I completely get what you're saying- and agree- but when you're mandated to hit certain instructional targets in a given amount of time (to the point where, if you don't, you can gently caress over instructional delivery for the whole grade) you end up picking and choosing derails, to an extent. Also, going off-topic is a great way for kids who seize any reason to get out of poo poo to construct a million NEW reasons to get out of poo poo. Basically, you have a balancing act to perform, and if you crash then you're definitely going to break something vital. My current job (I'm maternity cover) is ending in two weeks and I just found out this morning, so the third graders were very worried about how I would get to stay at school. Basically, their solution was to make a giant chess board on the school roof. I will sleep there, and tell the principal that I am a chess piece if he finds me. Then I don't have to pay for housing, I can eat the cafeteria food, and I can still work in the library! This is a very good plan IMHO
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May 7, 2018 13:25
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Fleta Mcgurn posted:
Which piece? Also, did their choice affect your self esteem?
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May 7, 2018 18:55
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Beachcomber posted:Which piece? Also, did their choice affect your self esteem? Well, they called it "the black-and-white game" until I figured out what they meant. They did not specify a piece. I want to be a knight so I can look like a reverse centaur!
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May 7, 2018 19:02
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Fleta Mcgurn posted:Well, they called it "the black-and-white game" until I figured out what they meant. They did not specify a piece. I want to be a knight so I can look like a reverse centaur! ... a ... reverse centaur? So you have a human body but a horse's head? 
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May 8, 2018 17:41
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The_White_Crane posted:... a ... reverse centaur? do you not know what a knight piece looks like
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May 8, 2018 17:52
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For teacher appreciation week, one of my kids made me a "thank you" card. On one side it has a written message, and on the other is a cartoon drawing of me hovering over him as he writes, urging him to "write more" "you still have a lot of space there" "fill the space with more detail" and him saying "I had better add more. I can't think of anything else. Hmm let me try to add more." For those following at home, it was not the Carrot Man kid.
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May 8, 2018 21:13
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U-DO Burger posted:do you not know what a knight piece looks like I for one am shocked.
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May 10, 2018 12:35
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U-DO Burger posted:do you not know what a knight piece looks like Usually just a horse's head, with no human body attached? I mean, I guess if they were playing human chess by wearing hats that looked like the pieces you'd get a reverse centaur, but that wasn't implied in the original anecdote so...
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May 10, 2018 13:29
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The_White_Crane posted:Usually just a horse's head, with no human body attached? I'm not sure what kind of knights you play with? 
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May 10, 2018 14:43
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Oops, what did I start? I did have a chess set as a kid where the knights were horse heads with weird, tiny human legs, which I always found funny. Anyways, the first graders and I did an interactive Mad Libs exercise. Bold text denotes their contributions. The Legend of Class X Once upon a time, there was a beautiful soccer cat, who was a student in Class X. One day, she went to the cafeteria to eat some Harlem Globetrotters for lunch. She tasted the food and felt special. "AAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!" she said, "What a crazy meal!" Just then, a mean and evil poop burst through the cafeteria doors! "LOOK AT MY BUTT!" it howled, "I'm going to fight you, and EAT Class X!" "Not so fast, you stinky sock!" Then, the beautiful soccer cat transformed into a big, powerful shoe. However, she wouldn't fight the bad guy. The poop kept trying to fight them, but the soccer cat just thought about what she was learning at school: plants, shapes, and animals. She knew it was better to use the power of her brain than to fight, even though the poop had eye lasers. "AAAAAAARGH! Why are you winning?" screamed the evil poop. "Because I'm being safe, respectful, and responsible!" replied the soccer cat in a horrible voice. Just then, Ms. A and Ms. B came into the cafeteria, with all of Class X behind them. "We can help!" they all cried. "Let's work together!" Together, Class X and all their teachers said the magic words: We are smart We are friends We are Class X We are the best! They were so strong that the evil poop was defeated. It shrank and shrank and shrank until it was the size of a shark, but a shark that is small. Then it ran away. Class X cheered. They celebrated their victory by running, peeing, and eating a special snack of rat points*. It was an amazing day for Class X, because using their expert brains had made them heroes. (The story works better if you have the entire class acting it out and saying the lines and doing the chant, except for the peeing part. We did not do that.) Same class last week: E: *starts jumping and screaming during story time* ME: "E, you need to chill, bro." E: "OH, MY GOD, OKAY!" ________ MS. OTHERTEACHER: "E, you're being very calm and respectful. Thank you." E: *whispers* "I need to chill." *Rat points are bad, cat points are good? I guess? Fleta Mcgurn has a new favorite as of 14:56 on May 10, 2018 |
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May 10, 2018 14:53
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Conversation I had in the kindergarten where I work: -Do you have any allergies? -Yes. .What are you allergic to? -Love.
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May 10, 2018 15:03
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Gaukler posted:I'm not sure what kind of knights you play with? dear god 
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May 10, 2018 15:24
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