Bad With Money 2018: When I die, bury me in the blockchain.

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Ask/Tell > Business, Finance, and Careers > Bad With Money 2018: When I die, bury me in the blockchain.

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Mr. Fix It: Oct 26, 2000; 💀ayyy💀

Krotera posted:

"Help! My Dad Is Going To Kill [s posted:
Me[/s] Himself"]

Liquid Communism posted:

Good title, Dad is definitely going to kill him.

Edit: you should have posted the updates:

Yeeesh, that's brutal and desperately needs cross-posting in the schadenfreude thread.

snipe, so content

Choosing to be homeless to stockpile money? posted:

Throwaway account.

I live in the US.

I have a decent job, I can save a bit of money every month while still paying my bills, driving a decent vehicle, and have a fairly fun lifestyle.

With that said, I�m wondering if anyone has made the decision to forego renting to stockpile money for buying a house. In my perspective, I could get a Planet Fitness or Anytime Fitness membership so I can bathe and groom, and live out of my car for every month except December, January, and February. I could probably save almost 10k per year additional.

Has anyone tried this successfully?

My favorite replies:

quote:

Your looking for r/vanlife

quote:

/r/vandwellers is the more active sub

Mr. Fix It fucked around with this message at 07:10 on Apr 20, 2018

# ? Apr 20, 2018 07:02

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# ? Jun 8, 2024 23:00

GoGoGadgetChris: Mar 18, 2010; i powder a
granite monument
in a soundless flash

showering the grass
with molten drops of
its gold inlay

sending smoking
chips of stone
skipping into the fog

Liquid Communism posted:

Good title, Dad is definitely going to kill him.

Edit: you should have posted the updates:

Calling a fake. Part 1 is written too Intentionally Stupid and Part 2 is too Overly Depressing

And if dad had really killed himself over losing the 1.5 million dollars he just lost, he would've already killed himself when the 3.5 million in bitcoin he bought "last year" turned into the 1.5 million.

# ? Apr 20, 2018 07:37

Liquid Communism: Mar 9, 2004; коммунизм хранится в яичках

GoGoGadgetChris posted:

Calling a fake. Part 1 is written too Intentionally Stupid and Part 2 is too Overly Depressing

And if dad had really killed himself over losing the 1.5 million dollars he just lost, he would've already killed himself when the 3.5 million in bitcoin he bought "last year" turned into the 1.5 million.

I really want to hope it's fake, but I rarely win betting against the intersection of stupidity and bitcoin.

# ? Apr 20, 2018 09:53

Cacafuego: Jul 22, 2007

GoGoGadgetChris posted:

Calling a fake. Part 1 is written too Intentionally Stupid and Part 2 is too Overly Depressing

I got that vibe too.

# ? Apr 20, 2018 12:29

Hoodwinker: Nov 7, 2005

Also calling fake. That's too many decimal places. What loving 14 year old keeps track to 7 decimal places how many buttcoins his dad has?

# ? Apr 20, 2018 13:14

baquerd: Jul 2, 2007; by FactsAreUseless

Hoodwinker posted:

Also calling fake. That's too many decimal places. What loving 14 year old keeps track to 7 decimal places how many buttcoins his dad has?

Eh, copy/paste job?

# ? Apr 20, 2018 13:55

BEHOLD: MY CAPE: Jan 11, 2004

Olive Branch posted:

Jesus that's not funny at all. Sure dad is dumb keeping crypto in his laptop and the son gambling away everything like a Zaurg is funny sad, but the beatings and the attempted suicide take out any humor in that story.

It's okay it's a loving dumb fake Reddit troll story you don't have to lose any sleep over it

# ? Apr 20, 2018 14:04

Bhodi: Dec 9, 2007; Oh, it's just a cat.; Pillbug

Yeah, it's insanely fake

# ? Apr 20, 2018 14:06

Leon Trotsky 2012: Aug 27, 2009; YOU CAN TRUST ME!*

_{*Israeli Government-affiliated poster}

This is probably less straight BWM and more IWM (Ignorant with-regards-to Money), but a guy in his early 30's came to HR yesterday afternoon to talk about problems with his taxes.

He was upset that his refund was much lower than he expected in TurboTax and thought that HR made an error on his W2.

His big problem was that there is a column for "Employer Contributions to Healthcare" that is $621 per pay x 26 pay periods for a total of $16,146 for the year.

He said that he contributed $573 to healthcare costs in 2017 and only spent $394 on healthcare for the year.

His refund was only about $1,000 (I didn't catch the exact amount, but it was around there) and the tax filing deadline was just a couple of days ago.

He was asking what paperwork he needed to file to amend his taxes to correct the error made by HR.

They looked through his information and it all looked right, but he kind of blew up and said that there is no way that it is correct.

By his math, he should be getting about $17,325 back on his taxes because his contribution ($573) and the employer contribution ($16,146) were not used since he only spent $394 on healthcare during the 2017 tax year.

# ? Apr 20, 2018 14:17

Hoodwinker: Nov 7, 2005

help I gambled away my dad's 69,420 shares of tesla how do I admit to him that I'm an atheist?

# ? Apr 20, 2018 15:10

Duckman2008: Jan 6, 2010; TFW you see Flyers goaltending.; Grimey Drawer

Taxes product all types of drama. At my work the big drama is always taxes on commission being higher, because in the short run comp is taxed higher (considered a bonus), and then it balances out during tax season.

All year round co workers are constantly changing Fed withholdings to 0 right before a commission check so they get more back immediately. Now is the time of year when said people are also complaining about owing a good chunk of change back on their taxes.

Some stuff can be unexpected though. I recently won a contest for a Pixel 2 XL ($850 retail). About a month later, my check is suddenly $250-300ish less than expected. I forgot that the phone is treated as a �bonus� so it�s full comp tax on the $850. Thankfully I already sold the phone for more than that, but I�m sure there are people throwing a fit over it.

Give me a cash reward over a physical prize any day.

# ? Apr 20, 2018 15:11

canyoneer: Sep 13, 2005; I only have canyoneyes for you

If your employer is real cool about it, they'll "gross up" the thing they gave you with a cash bonus in payroll to cover the taxes.

# ? Apr 20, 2018 15:24

Leon Trotsky 2012: Aug 27, 2009; YOU CAN TRUST ME!*

_{*Israeli Government-affiliated poster}

I just don't know how you get to your 30's thinking that your employer contribution to your health insurance comes back to you at the end of the year if you don't go to the doctor.

Even just using common sense, why would you think you were getting a $17k refund on a $45k salary.

# ? Apr 20, 2018 15:33

KYOON GRIFFEY JR: Apr 12, 2010; Runner-up, TRP Sack Race 2021/22

does not understand concept of insurance

# ? Apr 20, 2018 15:37

Duckman2008: Jan 6, 2010; TFW you see Flyers goaltending.; Grimey Drawer

canyoneer posted:

If your employer is real cool about it, they'll "gross up" the thing they gave you with a cash bonus in payroll to cover the taxes.

Given it was a bonus contest from Google, and not my direct company, not happening. In general that�s one thing that they wouldn�t do anyway. Annoying, but not worth griping over. I sold the phone for $530, so essentially It was about a $250ish bonus after tax.

They�ve been moving away from physical prizes anyway, probably for this reason.

# ? Apr 20, 2018 15:41

cosmic gumbo

Mar 26, 2005

IMA

GRIP

SIP

https://www.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/8dlvsm/my_22f_future_motherinlaw50sf_is_asking_way_too/

My (22F) future "mother-in-law"(50sF) is asking way too much from me

quote:

I have been dating my boyfriend for about 5 years now, so I guess you can say we are in a long term serious relationship that could possibly lead to marriage.

For the past year, my boyfriend's mother has been suggesting different things I should do to secure my future with her son. The first thing she did was suggest that I start a life insurance policy and add my boyfriend as a beneficiary. The agent came to their house and we had a 3 hour long discussion about the different policies and she was pushing me to go for the policy which would cost about $300/month. Although I have a decent paying job, I am in no position to pay that much every month for life insurance when I am only 22 years old. I filled out the application and provided my bank routing and account number for the initial deposit, but I decided not to go through with it right now.

After the whole life insurance policy discussion went away, she started suggesting my boyfriend and I get a safe deposit box together and put our income in there as savings. No way in hell would I do that, so I declined, but my boyfriend went ahead and opened the safe deposit box on his own and added his mother to it.

Now just recently, she has been pressuring us to buy plots in the cemetery as "security," saying that we can sell it in the future if we desperately need the money. She also said that open plots are hard to come by in this specific cemetery so we have to buy it now before it is all filled. Unbeknownst to me, they decided to go ahead and purchase the plots without my knowledge, each costing about $14,500 and we are contracted to 3 plots (one for me, one for my boyfriend, one for his mom). There is also an initial down payment of $5,000 and I would have to pay about $250/month for 60 months to pay off the plot for myself. This whole situation makes me INCREDIBLY upset because they went ahead and did this without my knowledge and I have to be stuck with a stupid piece of land I won't even utilize until I'm dead for who knows how long. The crazy thing is that I'm not even on the deed so if we break up, there's no guarantee I will get my money back. Although $250 a month won't be a huge hit for me, it still makes absolutely NO sense as to why I would need to throw away close to $15,000 when I could use that money towards my new car or down payment for a mortgage.

I expressed my displeasure with the whole situation to my boyfriend but he basically just brushed it off saying it'll be good for our future. Regardless of what happens, I still have to pay it monthly, but how can I prevent things like this from happening in the future when we get married? He comes from a really superstitious Chinese family and is a momma's boy, so he believes EVERYTHING his mom tells him, even if it makes absolutely no sense. Would it also be weird for me to have legal documents involved in regards to the cemetery plots and my payments? I am really close to his family and I am certain they won't do anything shady if push comes to shove, but I do need to my own security.

TL;DR: Boyfriend's mom is trying to make unnecessary financial decisions that has little to no benefits, but claiming it will secure our future. Now I am stuck paying $14,500 for a cemetery plot for the next 5 years and my name isn't even on the deed. How do I prevent similar things from happening in the future? Should I get legal papers involved for the plot?

# ? Apr 20, 2018 15:44

KYOON GRIFFEY JR: Apr 12, 2010; Runner-up, TRP Sack Race 2021/22

lol that mom is planning to murder the GF

why on earth would you have life insurance if you don't have dependents

# ? Apr 20, 2018 15:48

HFX: Nov 29, 2004

KYOON GRIFFEY JR posted:

lol that mom is planning to murder the GF

why on earth would you have life insurance if you don't have dependents

It can be good to have life insurance to help cover your death. Beyond that yeah it is crazy. Also, gently caress whole life insurance, term life is much better. At 22, a $300 a month policy of term would be several million worth of coverage.

# ? Apr 20, 2018 16:08

cosmic gumbo

Mar 26, 2005

IMA

GRIP

SIP

I'm a fan of putting your savings in cash in a lockbox that the mom has access to.

# ? Apr 20, 2018 16:10

Leon Trotsky 2012: Aug 27, 2009; YOU CAN TRUST ME!*

_{*Israeli Government-affiliated poster}

BWM and DWM (Depressing with Money).

https://www.cnbc.com/2018/03/06/42-percent-of-americans-are-at-risk-of-retiring-broke.html?__source=twitter%7Cmain

quote:

42% of Americans have less than $10,000 saved for retirement and will retire broke.

Almost 34% of people aged 55 or older have between $0 and $10,000 saved for retirement.

Including 7% of people who make $300,000 or more a year. :psyduck:

# ? Apr 20, 2018 16:32

Rotten Red Rod: Mar 5, 2002

Haifisch posted:

I'd ask if he was fresh out of college, but even then you should know that any job'll want notice ahead of time when you're taking a day off.

I'd ask what goes through these people's heads instead, but I assume it's some variation on "my parents covered my rear end for me all my life and I've never faced consequences for anything as a result, so surely I can do whatever and it'll be fiiiine. "

Nope, man in his late 60s. Senior .NET developer with 20 years experience in the field. :shrug:

# ? Apr 20, 2018 16:38

Dr. Eldarion: Mar 21, 2001; Deal Dispatcher

On the other hand, we have one of the ten richest men in the world who will spend $0.50 less on his daily McDonald's breakfast if he's "not feeling quite so prosperous".

# ? Apr 20, 2018 16:38

22 Eargesplitten: Oct 10, 2010

Uterine Lineup posted:

https://www.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/8dlvsm/my_22f_future_motherinlaw50sf_is_asking_way_too/

My (22F) future "mother-in-law"(50sF) is asking way too much from me

(either the umbilical cord or the relationship). And don�t pay for the plot that was bought without your input and you�re not on the contract.

# ? Apr 20, 2018 16:45

Cacafuego: Jul 22, 2007

Leon Trotsky 2012 posted:

BWM and DWM (Depressing with Money).

https://www.cnbc.com/2018/03/06/42-percent-of-americans-are-at-risk-of-retiring-broke.html?__source=twitter%7Cmain

Almost 34% of people aged 55 or older have between $0 and $10,000 saved for retirement.

Including 7% of people who make $300,000 or more a year.

Yeah, the 35-55 age bracket sounds like it�s going to be rough in retirement, or working until they�re dead, but haven�t there been a few articles lately that said that millennials were really saving well? Or did I remember that wrong?

# ? Apr 20, 2018 16:48

Leon Trotsky 2012: Aug 27, 2009; YOU CAN TRUST ME!*

_{*Israeli Government-affiliated poster}

I want someone to interview one of the - almost 1 in 10 people making more than $300k a year! - about why they aren't able to save 0.5% of their income in a year.

# ? Apr 20, 2018 16:50

Spring Heeled Jack: Feb 25, 2007; If you can read this you can read

Dr. Eldarion posted:

On the other hand, we have one of the ten richest men in the world who will spend $0.50 less on his daily McDonald's breakfast if he's "not feeling quite so prosperous".

GWM: avoiding lifestyle creep
BWL: eating McDonald�s every morning

# ? Apr 20, 2018 17:01

Haifisch: Nov 13, 2010; Objection! I object! That was... objectionable!; Taco Defender

Leon Trotsky 2012 posted:

I want someone to interview one of the - almost 1 in 10 people making more than $300k a year! - about why they aren't able to save 0.5% of their income in a year.

Well see, after they spend all that money on nannies and pet groomers and $10k dresses, they're actually living paycheck to paycheck. :pseudo:

Cacafuego posted:

Yeah, the 35-55 age bracket sounds like it's going to be rough in retirement, or working until they're dead,

Hell, the 55+ age bracket is already going through that. It includes a lot of people who relied on a house as their retirement plan(and then 2008 happened), or who thought their kids would be their retirement plan(which doesn't work so well in the modern era when you only have 1-2 kids to spread out the burden instead of 5+), or who relied on pensions that are increasingly undermined or straight-up destroyed.

# ? Apr 20, 2018 17:11

Cassius Belli: May 22, 2010; horny is prohibited

Spring Heeled Jack posted:

GWM: avoiding lifestyle creep
BWL: eating McDonald�s every morning

The man's 87 and been having that breakfast almost every day for decades, plus regular visits to Dairy Queen. I think the usual healthy eating advice doesn't apply to him.

# ? Apr 20, 2018 17:14

crazypeltast52: May 5, 2010

Yond Cassius posted:

The man's 87 and been having that breakfast almost every day for decades, plus regular visits to Dairy Queen. I think the usual healthy eating advice doesn't apply to him.

Capitalism is going to stick him in the Golden Throne if he ever looks like he might croak.

# ? Apr 20, 2018 17:17

Cicero: Dec 17, 2003; Jumpjet, melta, jumpjet. Repeat for ten minutes or until victory is assured.

Leon Trotsky 2012 posted:

I want someone to interview one of the - almost 1 in 10 people making more than $300k a year! - about why they aren't able to save 0.5% of their income in a year.

Of course they're able. They just don't loving do it.

# ? Apr 20, 2018 17:20

bob dobbs is dead: Oct 8, 2017; I love peeps; Nap Ghost

Yond Cassius posted:

The man's 87 and been having that breakfast almost every day for decades, plus regular visits to Dairy Queen. I think the usual healthy eating advice doesn't apply to him.

You have different portions when you eat at a place because you are full of despair vs. when you eat at a place because you own the org that owns the org that owns the org that runs the place

# ? Apr 20, 2018 17:21

Cassius Belli: May 22, 2010; horny is prohibited

bob dobbs is dead posted:

You have different portions when you eat at a place because you are full of despair vs. when you eat at a place because you own the org that owns the org that owns the org that runs the place

This is true! His portions (aside from his massive Coca-cola intake) are generally reported as being pretty much modest-to-reasonable.

# ? Apr 20, 2018 17:23

GoGoGadgetChris: Mar 18, 2010; i powder a
granite monument
in a soundless flash

showering the grass
with molten drops of
its gold inlay

sending smoking
chips of stone
skipping into the fog

Doesn't matter how much you make. If your expenses = your income, you can't save.

And we're predisposed to inflating our expenses to match our income! I'm surprised the figure isn't 7 out of 10, honestly

I'm sure we all know a big income, big spender with little to show for it other than maybe a big house and nice car.

My last boss made 300k a year but was utterly drained by alimony and child support on 2 kids. Whoops!

Then remarried and had a 3rd kid and hired a full time nanny and also a live in au pair, to assist the nonworking mom with raising a toddler. Also whoops!

# ? Apr 20, 2018 17:25

GoGoGadgetChris: Mar 18, 2010; i powder a
granite monument
in a soundless flash

showering the grass
with molten drops of
its gold inlay

sending smoking
chips of stone
skipping into the fog

Yond Cassius posted:

This is true! His portions (aside from his massive Coca-cola intake) are generally reported as being pretty much modest-to-reasonable.

He is absolutely consuming an unhealthy amount of sodium if he eats more than 1.0 McDonald's breakfast items a day, and his pancreas is not of this world if it's surviving 3+ cans of coke a day too

# ? Apr 20, 2018 17:27

EAT FASTER!!!!!!: Sep 21, 2002; Legendary.

Warren Buffett has exceeded his infant-mortality-adjusted age-matched life expectancy by more than 10 years, let him eat whatever the gently caress he wants.

# ? Apr 20, 2018 18:14

Xenocides: Jan 14, 2008; This world looks very scary....

GoGoGadgetChris posted:

He is absolutely consuming an unhealthy amount of sodium if he eats more than 1.0 McDonald's breakfast items a day, and his pancreas is not of this world if it's surviving 3+ cans of coke a day too

Making infernal Faustian bargains can negate a lot of bad habits.

# ? Apr 20, 2018 18:22

Liquid Communism: Mar 9, 2004; коммунизм хранится в яичках

KYOON GRIFFEY JR posted:

lol that mom is planning to murder the GF

why on earth would you have life insurance if you don't have dependents

Mostly to pay for my cremation and throwing a hell of a wake. Also because it's cheap, and if I kick it my niece and nephew won't pay a dime for college.

# ? Apr 20, 2018 18:22

Panfilo: Aug 27, 2011; Can't post for 3 days!

I'm really surprised someone with a job that pays $300,000 wouldn't come with an equally generous retirement plan.

What are they doing for a living? Professional athlete? B list actor?

# ? Apr 20, 2018 18:41

Dr. Eldarion: Mar 21, 2001; Deal Dispatcher

Can't get 401k matching if you don't contribute to your 401k in the first place.

# ? Apr 20, 2018 18:49

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# ? Jun 8, 2024 23:00

GoGoGadgetChris: Mar 18, 2010; i powder a
granite monument
in a soundless flash

showering the grass
with molten drops of
its gold inlay

sending smoking
chips of stone
skipping into the fog

I wish I could see a breakdown of what people meant by, " I won't need retirement savings"

Trust fund? Heart condition? Bullet to the brain at 65??

# ? Apr 20, 2018 18:52

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Ask/Tell > Business, Finance, and Careers > Bad With Money 2018: When I die, bury me in the blockchain.

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