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Gridlocked
Aug 2, 2014

MR. STUPID MORON
WITH AN UGLY FACE
AND A BIG BUTT
AND HIS BUTT SMELLS
AND HE LIKES TO KISS
HIS OWN BUTT
by Roger Hargreaves

Kommando posted:

How the gently caress is it still 50/50 2PP

Death is uncertain

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Mad Katter
Aug 23, 2010

STOP THE BATS
Expecting the government to function like a family business that you own is a great example of the coalition's mentality.

Dude McAwesome
Sep 30, 2004

Still better than a Ponytar

Mad Katter posted:

Expecting the government to function like a family business that you own is a great example of the coalition's mentality.

From the same great minds that brought you "a bad boss is a bit like a bad husband" and "the federal budget is just like your household budget."

The Before Times
Mar 8, 2014

Once upon a time, I would have thrown you halfway to the moon for a crack like that.
even households go into debt to buy housing and transport infrastructure

bigis
Jun 21, 2006
This one time I let my kids negatively gear a cubby house.

MysticalMachineGun
Apr 5, 2005

"Why can't my parliamentary office be run like a 15th century fiefdom, with my wife at my right hand, and my son at my feet?" asks beetroot man

G-Spot Run
Jun 28, 2005
I encourage my 1 week old son and 1 week post partum wife to go to football games (pressers!) because I'm a massive cumstain who needs the attention

MysticalMachineGun
Apr 5, 2005

I can only imagine how much Abbott and Joyce whine and complain privately about the media but still chase them for any scrap of relevancy

Don Dongington
Sep 27, 2005

#ideasboom
College Slice
Maybe they have the presence of mind to recognise the incredible leg-ups they've both been handed by said media in terms of 1. getting elected with no actual policy platform and 2. Getting caught having an affair and knocking up a staffer during an election campaign and having them totally sit on the news until after the fact.

AbortRetryFail
Jan 17, 2007

No more Mr. Nice Gaius

Surely if you just reel off a list of broken poo poo the Coalition have done during the election campaign it is enough to easily push swing voters over at that point. I don't know what recourse they would have other than "remember da pink batts???" and "some poor rich white old lawyers won't get as much money".

How can anyone ever elect howard tony malcolm at this point?

Don Dongington
Sep 27, 2005

#ideasboom
College Slice
Swing voters are still wandering around proclaiming that "well Labah aren't exactly perfect either" because it's what Channel 7/The West/The Hun/etc tell them to think.

If they had a will of their own or a social conscience then they wouldn't be swing voters.

GoldStandardConure
Jun 11, 2010

I have to kill fast
and mayflies too slow

Pillbug

AbortRetryFail posted:

Surely if you just reel off a list of broken poo poo the Coalition have done during the election campaign it is enough to easily push swing voters over at that point. I don't know what recourse they would have other than "remember da pink batts???" and "some poor rich white old lawyers won't get as much money".

How can anyone ever elect howard tony malcolm at this point?

I can see that you have never met a swing voter before.

BBJoey
Oct 31, 2012

swing voters are possibly the stupidest people on the planet

at least the rusted on lnp base stand for something politically - swing voters know nothing and believe nothing

hooman
Oct 11, 2007

This guy seems legit.
Fun Shoe

BBJoey posted:

swing voters are possibly the stupidest people on the planet

at least the rusted on lnp base stand for something politically - swing voters know nothing and believe nothing

Actually true rusted on LNP voters don't stand for anything except for "What LNP policy is today". They can't justify those policies, or disagree with them, it's just "whatever the LNP say today is correct" irrespective of what they said yesterday, or will say tomorrow.

A lot of Australian voters don't actually stand for anything or try to have any consistent beliefs. It's all just parroting, confusion and knee jerk reactions.

GoldStandardConure
Jun 11, 2010

I have to kill fast
and mayflies too slow

Pillbug

hooman posted:

It's all just parroting, confusion and knee jerk reactions.

my parrot is smarter than the average voter (and a significant number of the above average voters), please don't besmirch the noble parrot by associating them with voters.

They don't just repeat phrases back at you, they can learn the context of phrases and use them appropriately which is more than can be said for the general public.

I would blow Dane Cook
Dec 26, 2008
Serious question, do Nationals voters realise they are voting for Malcolm Turnbull to be prime minister?

CrazyTolradi
Oct 2, 2011

It feels so good to be so bad.....at posting.

I would blow Dane Cook posted:

Serious question, do Nationals voters realise they are voting for Malcolm Turnbull to be prime minister?
ftfy

GoldStandardConure
Jun 11, 2010

I have to kill fast
and mayflies too slow

Pillbug

I would blow Dane Cook posted:

Serious question, do Nationals voters realise they are voting for Malcolm Turnbull to be prime minister?

no, they don't

BBJoey
Oct 31, 2012

hooman posted:

Actually true rusted on LNP voters don't stand for anything except for "What LNP policy is today". They can't justify those policies, or disagree with them, it's just "whatever the LNP say today is correct" irrespective of what they said yesterday, or will say tomorrow.

A lot of Australian voters don't actually stand for anything or try to have any consistent beliefs. It's all just parroting, confusion and knee jerk reactions.

i agree, but repeating the latest lnp policy line at least requires some amount of awareness. swing voters lack even that much.



also, request for advice: my retired mum has her money managed by an AMP-linked financial advisor. on all the available evidence her money is being managed well, but given what’s coming out of the royal commission she’s concerned. should she do anything at this stage given her specific financial advisor seems to be doing all the right things with her money, and if so, what should she do?

MysticalMachineGun
Apr 5, 2005

quote:

Frydenberg's Neg challenge is like climbing Everest with no oxygen

PUA Frydenberg

Comstar
Apr 20, 2007

Are you happy now?

BBJoey posted:

also, request for advice: my retired mum has her money managed by an AMP-linked financial advisor. on all the available evidence her money is being managed well, but given what’s coming out of the royal commission she’s concerned. should she do anything at this stage given her specific financial advisor seems to be doing all the right things with her money, and if so, what should she do?

Get out. Get out now. Even if her current advisor isn’t doing anything the next one might. If enough people believe that then AMP will collapse before the ACCC can fine them 10% of thier revenue too.

That’s my financial advice. Note I am not a financial advisors.

I would blow Dane Cook
Dec 26, 2008

BBJoey posted:

i agree, but repeating the latest lnp policy line at least requires some amount of awareness. swing voters lack even that much.



also, request for advice: my retired mum has her money managed by an AMP-linked financial advisor. on all the available evidence her money is being managed well, but given what’s coming out of the royal commission she’s concerned. should she do anything at this stage given her specific financial advisor seems to be doing all the right things with her money, and if so, what should she do?

Get her investing in Bitcoin.

AbortRetryFail
Jan 17, 2007

No more Mr. Nice Gaius

I know 3 "swing voters" who are now voting for the ALP because:

A) tony Abbott wanted to honor Prince Clown and hasn't done anything good since then
B) where's the federal ICAC
C) Malcolm Turnbull is a weak man

Literally everyone else I know votes ALP or Greens (allegedly)

AbortRetryFail fucked around with this message at 04:09 on Apr 23, 2018

Schlesische
Jul 4, 2012

Most people don't like talking about Politics or thinking about Politics. Which is why the magic 10 word slogan works so loving well.
If Turnbull loses its because the media has created a narrative enough people see as negative, not because of any policy failures he's been involved in creating.

I would blow Dane Cook
Dec 26, 2008
“The thing that worries me, Ray, is what were the regulators doing? I mean we all know there are greedy people everywhere, including in banks ... but banking is probably the most regulated sector of our economy - what were the regulators doing to allow all of this to be happening? ...

“My fear is that at the end of this royal commission we will have yet another level of regulation imposed on the banks when, frankly, what should happen is, I suspect, all the existing regulators should be sacked and people who are much more vigilant and much less complacent [should] go in their place.

“The analogy is – yes punish the criminals but if the police are turning a blind eye to the criminals, well, you’ve got to get rid of the police and get decent people in there.”

AbortRetryFail
Jan 17, 2007

No more Mr. Nice Gaius

So Rupert Murdoch is king of Australia but with a permanent elected regent? Let's just build Friend Computer already then and get it over with it might even be more democratic.

Schlesische
Jul 4, 2012

I wouldn't go that far, at the end of the day if the government keeps loving up he will turn his guns on them and stack the other side. He's beholden to the public to sell newspapers and fox subscriptions, which means they have to craft a narrative that sells.

Don Dongington
Sep 27, 2005

#ideasboom
College Slice

Schlesische posted:

I wouldn't go that far, at the end of the day if the government keeps loving up he will turn his guns on them and stack the other side. He's beholden to the public to sell newspapers and fox subscriptions, which means they have to craft a narrative that sells.

Yes but we've all seen what happens when a Rupert Gilded small l liberal from the left-side of the two party system gets elected.

Blair. Clinton (B.). Rudd.

You get minor change buried in capitulation. We don't want that, we want someone who's willing to speak truth to power rather than become a willing stooge.

Someone more apt to listen to Sally McManus than Rupert Murdoch would be preferable.

I would blow Dane Cook
Dec 26, 2008
https://twitter.com/braddybb/status/985070876402925568

hooman
Oct 11, 2007

This guy seems legit.
Fun Shoe
EDIT: ^^^ SPLITS BRO


I would blow Dane Cook posted:

“The thing that worries me, Ray, is what were the regulators doing? I mean we all know there are greedy people everywhere, including in banks ... but banking is probably the most regulated sector of our economy - what were the regulators doing to allow all of this to be happening? ...

“My fear is that at the end of this royal commission we will have yet another level of regulation imposed on the banks when, frankly, what should happen is, I suspect, all the existing regulators should be sacked and people who are much more vigilant and much less complacent [should] go in their place.

“The analogy is – yes punish the criminals but if the police are turning a blind eye to the criminals, well, you’ve got to get rid of the police and get decent people in there.”

Who was this? Because I bet they're not in favour of the outcome they're actually advocating. A government funded, totally independant regulatory board with real serious teeth and sufficient oversight, powers and charter to straight shut down non compliant banks.

I would blow Dane Cook
Dec 26, 2008

hooman posted:

EDIT: ^^^ SPLITS BRO


Who was this? Because I bet they're not in favour of the outcome they're actually advocating. A government funded, totally independant regulatory board with real serious teeth and sufficient oversight, powers and charter to straight shut down non compliant banks.

Tony Abbott

AbortRetryFail
Jan 17, 2007

No more Mr. Nice Gaius

I can't think of any solution where humans manage themselves. Technology advancements are just going to lead to more stealthy Cambridge analytica type poo poo loving everyone over. There needs to be some other solution to this or a massively radical change in the way we run the place like only letting the poors be elected or something else that sounds utterly ridiculous.

hooman
Oct 11, 2007

This guy seems legit.
Fun Shoe

Comedy gold.

His argument is nearly identical to Federal ICAC now.

I also love Barnaby, "I got caught breaking the rules, therefore it's the rules that are wrong and dumb". It's like Bolt with 18C.

LIVE AMMO COSPLAY
Feb 3, 2006

hooman posted:

Comedy gold.

His argument is nearly identical to Federal ICAC now.

I also love Barnaby, "I got caught breaking the rules, therefore it's the rules that are wrong and dumb". It's like Bolt with 18C.

According to Turnbull he wasn't breaking the rules because the rules didn't exist until after Barnaby was caught out.

We've had the new rules for a couple of months now so I guess it's time for some deregulation.

hooman
Oct 11, 2007

This guy seems legit.
Fun Shoe

LIVE AMMO ROLEPLAY posted:

According to Turnbull he wasn't breaking the rules because the rules didn't exist until after Barnaby was caught out.

We've had the new rules for a couple of months now so I guess it's time for some deregulation.

My fear is that at the end of this internal investigation we will have yet another level of regulation imposed on MPs when, frankly, what should happen is, I suspect, all the existing MPs should be sacked and people who are much more vigilant and much less complacent [should] go in their place.

Solemn Sloth
Jul 11, 2015

Baby you can shout at me,
But you can't need my eyes.

hooman posted:

My fear is that at the end of this internal investigation we will have yet another level of regulation imposed on MPs when, frankly, what should happen is, I suspect, all the existing MPs should be sacked and people who are much more vigilant and much less complacent [should] go in their place.

I agree assuming by sacked you mean tied in a sack and thrown into lake burley-griffin

MysticalMachineGun
Apr 5, 2005

Amazing how the narrative shifts and people forget that part of the Barnaby scandal was misuse of public funds - he was taking family leave to be with his mistress and taking her on flights and stuff.

ewe2
Jul 1, 2009

hooman posted:

My fear is that at the end of this internal investigation we will have yet another level of regulation imposed on MPs when, frankly, what should happen is, I suspect, all the existing MPs should be sacked and people who are much more vigilant and much less complacent [should] go in their place.

The whole process seems designed to slowly ferret out every single reason why Australians hate politicians only slightly more than journalists.

MysticalMachineGun
Apr 5, 2005

But no, it's the "no loving your staff" rule that is the issue

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Megillah Gorilla
Sep 22, 2003

If only all of life's problems could be solved by smoking a professor of ancient evil texts.



Bread Liar

tithin posted:

If the cfmeu absorbed the fsu I wouldn't complain.

You'd see the big banks absolutely poo poo themselves though

Then they get absorbed by the MUA :getin:

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