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May 27, 2024 00:50
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- A Wizard of Goatse
- Dec 14, 2014
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Oh so you want things that are calibrated for goons
My [15M] twins wants me to pretend to be him and go on a date with a girl so he can date 2 girls at once. I am scared that if I say no it will ruin my relationship with him
quote:The title is a little confusing so please let me explain. I have an identical twin we are practically best friends. We have two older sisters who attend college and they have just returned home for the summer. I would ask my sisters but they would be so ashamed of me if they even knew I was entertaining the thought.
My brother and I completed our freshmen year recently and we are on summer vacation. We go to the same school and no one ever gets our names right. I am Brad and he is Sam, our sisters are the only ones that ever get our name right. It's weird because I normally do something nice with my hair and my brother does not even bother. So you would think that would help people but it doesn't.
My brother came to me earlier today and asked me a favour. He told me he likes two girls and he wants to go out with both of them. He told me they don't know he has a twin and he wants me to take his place on a date. I was hesitant because I don't know this girl and it just seems wrong to trick her like that. It would be easy to pull off, I just don't know if I should do it. He wants me to take her on a date to Red Robins (burger restaurant in the US) and pretend to be him.
We have tricked family on family members before when we pretend to be each other. I am scared of several things my sisters finding out and being furious with me, I have a girl I intend to take on a date in 2 weeks when she gets back from camping I can only assume she would not be happy with me.
My brother and I are turning 16 in 3 weeks and I would rather him be talking to me on that day. My sisters prefer to spend time with me and I know this because I don't cause drama. When ever I go out with my sisters it is a fun time, but when Sam comes along he causes trouble/does something stupid.
When ever you tell him no he runs around pulling this pity party routine and it get's tiring. He will make passive aggressive comments, he has tried to run away on 3 different occasions. The most recent one being that mom grounded him for stealing money from her/the family.
I just am scared that if I say no it is going to ruin my relationship with him. I am in my room and I can't sleep, I need an outside view of this situation
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Apr 29, 2018 15:11
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- Ghost Leviathan
- Mar 2, 2017
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Exploration is ill-advised.
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This is literally a plot point from an Ace Attorney game.
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Apr 29, 2018 15:31
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- Barudak
- May 7, 2007
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Either work on your magic tricks or tell him you are only willing to do the sibling switcheroo if he dates identical twins.
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Apr 29, 2018 15:32
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- maswastaken
- Nov 12, 2011
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Hmm, yes. I see the problem. The problem is he wants to maintain a relationship with his abusive thief brother whom his sisters can likely distinguish from him by whether or not he's being a colossal shitlord.
This is literally a plot point from an Ace Attorney game.
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Apr 29, 2018 15:37
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- Edmund Sparkler
- Jul 4, 2003
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For twelve years, you have been asking: Who is John Galt? This is John Galt speaking. I am the man who loves his life. I am the man who does not sacrifice his love or his values. I am the man who has deprived you of victims and thus has destroyed your world, and if you wish to know why you are peris
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If true, this is going to quickly spiral out of control and end up like those twins back in the 90s who would date rape drunk girls who didn't realize they were actually getting hosed by two different guys who kept switching off.
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Apr 29, 2018 16:29
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- Fatkraken
- Jun 23, 2005
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Fun-time is over.
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Shave your head.
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Apr 29, 2018 17:00
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- Pick
- Jul 19, 2009
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Nap Ghost
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Oh so you want things that are calibrated for goons
My [15M] twins wants me to pretend to be him and go on a date with a girl so he can date 2 girls at once. I am scared that if I say no it will ruin my relationship with him
it's time to decide whether you'll be the shame or the prestige
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Apr 29, 2018 17:16
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- La Brea Carpet
- Nov 22, 2007
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I have no mouth and I must post
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How do I [22F] tell my boyfriend's[21M] family that our son won't have horrible family name?
quote:
I frequent this subreddit a lot, but I never had an account before or anything. Never thought I'd have to post on here!
In a nut shell - me (22F) and my boyfriend (21M) recently found out that our soon-to-be-here baby will be a boy. We've been together for 3 years now. We're over the moon and I had already started making a list of names that I'd love for our son to have.
We had a celebration at my boyfriend's parent's house the other day to celebrate finding out the gender which I had been told was just family having a nice meal to celebrate. However, when I got there it was crazy - the house had been decorated with balloons and banners and it was more like a party. I was a bit overwhelmed but they're trying to be nice so I went along with it. However, and no one had mentioned this to me before - all of the balloons/banners and even the cake had my boyfriend's father's name on them. I kind of laughed and asked his mother why? And she laughed to which I was confused and said no really I don't get it? And she looked at me very seriously and said 'It's the name of the baby.'
I thought she was joking - she was not. I had no idea what to do or how to react. I am certainly NOT going to be naming my first child after my boyfriend's father - and I had no idea this was an expectation! I'm not trying to be rude, but his name (first AND middle!) is very old fashioned and I can't believe they expected me to use this name.
I went out to my boyfriend who was with the rest of his family and asked him if I could speak in private. He refused and said that would be rude to his family, so I asked him why his family thought our son would have his father's name? My boyfriend just shrugged and said he knew and thought I'd be okay with it! The whole family heard this conversation and it ended up in a big fight over why I don't want to name my child after the father, and it was so upsetting that I left early and had my sister come pick me up and take me home.
What do I do? My boyfriend 'apologised' but is still saying he doesn't see why I don't want to name the baby after his dad. I cannot do it, the name is just not going to happen. I don't want to be disrespectful but I feel sick at the idea of naming my child this. What do I do??
<b>tldr</b> Boyfriend's family want me to use dreadful family name for my son, don't want to use the name, no idea what to do.
Edit: Thank you to everyone who replied with advice, I didn't expect to get that many comments, so thank you for taking the time to reply. I feel like I've had a real eye opener with some of the comments, and now I'm worried that the problem here is much bigger than my baby's name. I'm going to talk to my boyfriend about it tonight. Thank you all again.
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Apr 29, 2018 17:49
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- Blade Runner
- Aug 14, 2015
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Yeah I feel like this was a self fulfilling prophesy right from the moment he didn't feel comfortable telling her his mum was abusive and they had been estranged for years. That's such a huge thing to keep from your partner, especially if you then stand by as they befriend your abusive mum!
She did a bunch of stupid, stupid things, but she was absolutely correct that he was hiding things from her. Your gut doesn't know the difference between "my boyfriend is hiding an affair" and "my boyfriend is hiding that his mum was abusive and he doesn't trust me enough to tell me", it just throws up the flares and you start getting paranoid and fixating on things.
To be honest, it's a bit sad that she's copping 100% of the blame for talking to the mum too much. Manipulating people is what abusive people do, and getting the wife into a position where she blabbed constantly about her husband was probably a calculated and conscious choice on the mum's part. It gets smeared as "lol stupid despicable gossipy woman" when manipulating someone into oversharing information without realising they're doing it is actually just an example of one way abusive women use other women.
He is also correct to be hiding things from her because she is the kind of person who fundamentally cannot keep a secret and constantly blabs about everything to everyone, and the take of "Well she was just manipulated by the mother!!" is retarded unless his mother also manipulated her into telling the internet about how his father beat him
She's just a lovely person, god drat
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Apr 29, 2018 18:08
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- Barudak
- May 7, 2007
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Pnurtis J. O. Crystal was a good enough name for me, my father, and my fathers father and by god its good enough for my grandson
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Apr 29, 2018 18:09
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- Dienes
- Nov 4, 2009
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dee
doot doot dee
doot doot doot
doot doot dee
dee doot doot
doot doot dee
dee doot doot
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College Slice
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Checked out /r/justnoSO
Defensive SO can’t handle the littlest bit of perceived criticism.
quote:
DH is great, love the guy, awesome husband. We’re going to be pulling the goalie in a few months, and chats about “what will life be like when baby comes” are relatively common (although I usually start them, but I feel like that’s pretty normal). As a bit of background, I’m a light sleeper, and DH is a snorer, so I wear earplugs to sleep most nights, plus a fan or other white noise. It works for us.
Now, obviously I won’t be able to wear earplugs if/when a baby gets here. I’ve been trying to avoid wearing them to get used to how it will be. Last night I had to cave and wear the plugs after a few nights of no plugs, because DH’s snoring was that bad. This morning, I commented that if/when baby, we’re going to have to find another solution. He was all, like what? And I mentioned him getting snorestrips, or an anti-snore mouth guard (my dad has one, apparently they work?) or worst case sleeping on the couch if there’s a bad night.
Y’all, DH lost it. He got super defensive and upset and started complaining that I’m too light of a sleeper, asking if he was just going to have to sleep on the couch as long as we had kids in the house (all of my wats), and saying that I’m making up problems where they don’t exist yet. He also said I could just nap to make up for any lost sleep. I pointed out to him that a) yes, I’m a light sleeper, but I’ve also been responsible for managing the problem our whole relationship, and the only reason it’s not continuing as it has is because I literally can’t wear earplugs with a little baby in the house, b) he was extrapolating to a ridiculous degree, which meant that he was feeling defensive, and I wasn’t trying to attack him, just trying to problem solve BEFORE we’re crazy sleep deprived, and c) yes, I will nap as much as I can, but he might have to put in some effort as well. He got super mad and tried to turn it around on me, asking why I was being so aggressive and telling me to calm down, when he was the one that got upset in the first place!
He’s gone to work now, as have I, and he texted me essentially saying he hates the idea of having to wear a mouth guard but he loves me and he’s sure we’ll wor it out. I’m still pissed and feel like he’s not willing to a) talk about any of this ahead of time, and b) actually commit to taking responsibility for his snoring, instead blaming my light sleeping, even though I’ve been responsible for dealing with that for years!! Can’t be just accept that it’s his turn to be mildly uncomfortable at night??!! I’ll be in enough discomfort as it is!!
You already wear earplugs with one baby. Why not with two?
Boyfriend threatened to break up with me because I self harm
quote:
My boyfriend and I have been together for over a year, it will be two years in a few months. I have self harmed for many years now, I started when I was 15 and I'm 19 now (20 very soon, sadly). I know it's not a good coping skill, I'm very aware of that. However, I don't have the best self confidence or motivation to do more coping skills that aren't harmful. My boyfriend gets very, very upset any time I self harm. He has made it a rule that I tell him when I do, how many, how deep and where. Well yesterday I said I felt like self harming and he sort of lost it. The last time I did he ended up crying a whole bunch and just being miserable for the last day, I guess hearing I wanted to do it again broke him. He said if I self harmed he would break up with me, and it was him or cutting. Then he went to bed and refused to reply to any of my messages. While I would like to stop self harming, it's not that easy and it's frustrating he thinks I can just stop right away.
This morning he apologized and said he wouldn't leave me, but then he said my cuts/scars were "ugly and disgusting" and he hated them. That doesn't really make me feel very good, because that means there's part of my body he finds disgusting. He ended up apologizing for that later as well but I feel like he meant it. That's not the first time a boyfriend has told me that before and it really hurt then, and it hurts even worse now because he knew that.
I'm not really sure what to do now. I'm just sad and upset.
Included this one since usually it goes "Break up with me and I'll cut myself." The only real solution here is to  and 
Submitted without comment:
Miscarried last night. Husband is awful.
quote:
I had a miscarriage last night. Was in the ER until midnight then to my doctors appointment at 11 today.
Finally get home this evening and just want to cry and sulk and my husband is acting like I just didn’t experience something completely awful.
I can’t sleep so I’m sitting on the couch. My husband comes up and honks my boob. Seriously. Then he yells at me because I’m not ready for bed but he’s tired.
I can’t stop crying and I haven’t felt this alone in my life. Reddit is all I have to vent too.
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Apr 29, 2018 18:54
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- Pick
- Jul 19, 2009
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Nap Ghost
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Apr 29, 2018 19:06
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- La Brea Carpet
- Nov 22, 2007
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I have no mouth and I must post
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You should listen to your body, especially your uterus.
La Brea Carpet fucked around with this message at 19:20 on Apr 29, 2018
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Apr 29, 2018 19:18
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- PHIZ KALIFA
- Dec 21, 2011
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#mood
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"If she's mad at me, she's not upset about the miscarriage!"
- World's Husbandliest Husband
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Apr 29, 2018 19:42
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- La Brea Carpet
- Nov 22, 2007
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I have no mouth and I must post
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*husband grabs boob*
*World's most mournful tugboat horn plays*
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Apr 29, 2018 19:46
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- Sai-kun
- Feb 6, 2011
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Is it ever going to be enough, to love another and be loved?
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*husband grabs boob*
*World's most mournful tugboat horn plays*
help
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Apr 29, 2018 20:03
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- VanSandman
- Feb 16, 2011
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SWAP.AVI EXCHANGER
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*husband grabs boob*
*World's most mournful tugboat horn plays*
oh god im dying
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Apr 29, 2018 20:16
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- Midnight Voyager
- Jul 2, 2008
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Lipstick Apathy
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*husband grabs boob*
*World's most mournful tugboat horn plays*
I feel like this boob honk is the more realistic version of a CAD miscarriage comic. It at least stays on tone with the rest of CAD!
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Apr 29, 2018 20:28
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- Ride The Gravitron
- May 2, 2008
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by FactsAreUseless
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The followup's a juicy one
Now that's a great self own.
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Apr 29, 2018 20:36
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- value-brand cereal
- May 2, 2008
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Before we get started on this tale, can I gently encourage people not to poo poo on the entirely of people with aspergers / autism spectrum disorders? Yeah this dude has aspergers, but he's clearly a piece of poo poo that's not related to symptoms of being on the spectrum.
Me [20F] with my brother [22 M], his hatred of women and isolation scare me for his future and my futureNon-Romantic
submitted 1 year ago * by WowUsernameMuchKarma
https://www.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/4mylgj/me_20f_with_my_brother_22_m_his_hatred_of_women/
quote:Note: My brother (name changed) Charles has mild Aspergers... he was really good in high school and college but seems to be regressing. And sorry for any format issues, there has been a lot of copy-paste
Last night my brother, my mother and I all had a group discussion/argument/meltdown. My brother started it all by trying to compare the Stanford Swimmer to the guy who just got 25 years for killing a girl who shot down his prom-posal (2 years ago?). He was like, "Well, see this guy got what some say he deserved, so like why aren't we celebrating that and cutting our losses with the Stanford guy?" to which I (young, college age female who has had a few instances on campus and in life of my "No" and "Im in a relationship you know that" not being a good enough indicator of nonconsent to some people, WHICH HE KNOWS) replied, "we shouldn't have to pat the legal system on the back for every time they do their job. What is atrocious about this case is that the press and the judge cared more about his Olympic pipe dream than the victims testimony and mental health. The fact that he still thinks all he did wrong is drink is a problem. What is happening now is that the internet is making sure that when future employers google his name they will see exactly what he has done before starting legal background checks. This is some of the justice that he is getting instead of jail. It sucks that it'll take until he graduates, but its the best this earth can do."
This lead down the rabbit hole into how he is a "good guy" and how HE was never asked out, been on a date, kissed, but HE isnt violent. And then further.
For my own sake I had been sort of hiding, quiet, sending quotes of his conversation to myself. Some highlights:
"its not my fault its my high schools fault because people would only stay 6 months or a year and not come back so i never learned how to keep friendships" (NOTE: Facebook. He has one. It isn't hard to keep up with people in this age.)
"i could channel all my angers with women into a paper or problem or proving a female classmate or teacher wrong at school. that always left me feeling satisfied."
we were sitting there trying to help him and we said "women aren't scary. two women here are sitting and trying to help you" and he just snorts and goes "bull poo poo"
he doesn't look women in the eye. not just as an autism thing. he admits "i look right through them". when he orders at the bar he "talks to the top shelf, not the bar girl".
"my problem is i made myself the smart kid. its true. i mean, thats ALL i am." (NOTE: He doesn't have/make friends at his internship, he goes to bars for trivia and sits alone, answers his questions collects his prizes without talking to anyone.
"i love being at church... no... i love being BEHIND THE ALTAR. NO GIRLS ALLOWED THERE!!!" (NOTE: We are Orthodox Christian and we have a traditional full altar that the service happens at behind a wall of icons called an iconistas)
"I think I'm asexual. A lot of autistic people are; I read a study. But like... for me its out of defense its to keep myself safe from girls who want to hurt me, let me down, and accuse me of raping them!" (NOTE: the... gently caress...?)
"i want my doctorate so that i will have people under me. So I can be a professor with people inferior to me. in my control."
"my capacity to love is damaged."
he ranted about how its all the fault of his dream school because they didn't accept him so he settled. I also was not accepted to my dream school and went to a local safety school. The difference being I kicked rear end the first year and struggled to get out, reapply as a transfer, and I ended up transferring in time for my sophomore year (which I just finished).
he then proceeded to blame mom for setting that expectation by (jokingly at tax season!) saying to "get the gently caress outta jersey kids!"
He finally decided that it is all my fault, causing him to hate women because I am "a snarky conniving bitch with no manners who doesn't know her place". This is where I lost it, breaking my relative silence (and proving him right... my bad) by shooting back with "im not sure that our insurance will cover an extraction of your skull from your anus, but its something to look into besides therapy"
This whole conversation was just a shitshow and I now can't even look or think about my brother without fear and disgust. I thought we got along great. I'm scared to talk, to mention going back to school, to even talk to mom because she is hurting too, and she "doesn't want to be put in the middle on this".
He is heading to grad school in the fall, and if he is accepted to his top program (he is already accepted at his safety) he will be actually moving out and living on his own. I just need to survive the summer with him before I myself go back to school. I just need to survive 82 more days. How do I do it? How can my family help him get over this and maybe get back on track instead of regressing into a terrifying redpill boy?
tl;dr: Brother is sort of screwed up with regards to women and has the oddest combination of an underdog/superiority complex. Came to a head yesterday. It got bad. How do I either help him or help myself?
EDITED TO ADD: I just found another note I made... He made reference to moving in with me if he needed someone to take care of him. And also to adopting "like three or four kids maybe". (a) if I'm apparently satans sarcastic hellspawn why move in with me? also thank you for filling me and my BF (3 years) in on that backup plan of yours... and (b) you asked to be moved from working with kids to working in the kitchen at the summer camp we volunteer at because you can't stand children. For some reason I think adopting would be an awful idea.
He says all this poo poo but expects his sister to mother him. gently caress this guy.
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Apr 29, 2018 21:42
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- Pick
- Jul 19, 2009
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Nap Ghost
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Before we get started on this tale, can I gently encourage people not to poo poo on the entirely of people with aspergers / autism spectrum disorders? Yeah this dude has aspergers, but he's clearly a piece of poo poo that's not related to symptoms of being on the spectrum.
Me [20F] with my brother [22 M], his hatred of women and isolation scare me for his future and my futureNon-Romantic
submitted 1 year ago * by WowUsernameMuchKarma
https://www.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/4mylgj/me_20f_with_my_brother_22_m_his_hatred_of_women/
He says all this poo poo but expects his sister to mother him. gently caress this guy.
You say that but when there's a pattern there's a pattern. Guys generally have trouble empathizing with women, when you have problems with empathy and communication to begin with, it's not surprising that they're more likely to be violent, rapists, and generally horrible people. It's like how psychopaths don't tend to make good partners, it might be in their brain but it doesn't mean it's anyone else's responsibility to pretend they're not worthless, unpleasant burdens on society.
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Apr 29, 2018 21:53
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- Who What Now
- Sep 10, 2006
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by Azathoth
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I'm as dead as that baby
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Apr 29, 2018 22:17
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- Pick
- Jul 19, 2009
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Nap Ghost
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someone's been on da meth wagon
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Apr 29, 2018 22:20
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- Depressio111117
- Oct 18, 2014
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A whole world of imagination beyond the oompah band.
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Before we get started on this tale, can I gently encourage people not to poo poo on the entirely of people with aspergers / autism spectrum disorders? Yeah this dude has aspergers, but he's clearly a piece of poo poo that's not related to symptoms of being on the spectrum.
Me [20F] with my brother [22 M], his hatred of women and isolation scare me for his future and my futureNon-Romantic
submitted 1 year ago * by WowUsernameMuchKarma
https://www.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/4mylgj/me_20f_with_my_brother_22_m_his_hatred_of_women/
He says all this poo poo but expects his sister to mother him. gently caress this guy.
After reading some of OP’s comments, she is doing everything in her power to not help the situation even a little.
Also she’s expected to cook and clean and if she has any other plans her dad will “get mad” so it sounds like this brother was genetically destined to be a piece of poo poo.
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Apr 29, 2018 22:28
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- Who What Now
- Sep 10, 2006
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by Azathoth
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After reading some of OP’s comments, she is doing everything in her power to not help the situation even a little.
What should she be doing, besides smothering this dipshit in his sleep?
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Apr 29, 2018 22:56
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- Pick
- Jul 19, 2009
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Nap Ghost
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dNl2v-ir7zg
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Apr 29, 2018 23:01
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- bad day
- Mar 26, 2012
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by VideoGames
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That whole snarky line about extracting his skull from his anus; she didn’t say that.
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Apr 29, 2018 23:01
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- CheesyDog
- Jul 4, 2007
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by FactsAreUseless
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I feel in love with a sex worker, she was so nice to me and could take me all the way (self.sex)
submitted 1 day ago by t0mru
quote:I'm a male and honestly I'm way too big in a way that got me depressed, I'm at 10.4 – 10.6 inches long, had a few female partners until I gave up and started going to sex workers, in hopes of finding someone who I can fully enjoy sex with. After going to a few I found one that could manage me threw anal sex.
It took her some time to get it in but she managed, she was very happy to see me happy! I was wandering If I could also give it to her, since she was riding me and she let me. It was the first time I did doggy and could slap my pelvis into a woman's rear and it was so hot! She even asked if I can rub her downstairs and I happily did that.
We both enjoyed it, she hit her orgasm and then I got my own. We agreed on 150$ so I wanted to give her 150$ + tip for being the first to take me all the way and giving me such a happy sex!
I went to my pants after we were done to pick up my wallet and she quickly grabbed me by my hand saying there is no need for that, I insisted to pay but she just smiled and told me she didn't feel like she was working, she enjoyed it herself too. Then she just kissed me on my lips and told me to be in touch with her.
I texted her telling her how much I appreciate it, she pointed out that back when we were emailing I did sound very sexually frustrated to her when I shouldn't be. I then told her I was very happy and that I really like her. She just told me the feeling is mutual.
I felt something deep for her, I know she is a sex worker but… I think I did more than like her
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Apr 30, 2018 00:38
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- Who What Now
- Sep 10, 2006
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by Azathoth
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Yeah that ones extra fake
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Apr 30, 2018 00:42
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- Adbot
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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May 27, 2024 00:50
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- But Rocks Hurt Head
- Jun 30, 2003
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by Hand Knit
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Pillbug
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who uses decimal fractions of an inch to measure anything, jesus
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Apr 30, 2018 00:46
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Apr 29, 2018 15:03
Cat Army 
I want to guess this dude was/is seriously depressed? Or simply poor and unable to get dental care? Jesus christ. His mouth is a garbage dump.
