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soy posted:What if the collectors edition has laminated pages and comes with a squid plushie? Is it anatomically correct?
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May 3, 2018 16:41
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Weird book goon: I hope you are immensely successful, but I suggest pricing your magnum opus at paperback prices to start with and then increase the price if the first few are successful.
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May 3, 2018 16:44
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loquacius posted:First off, there’s “a lot of world building” because this is the first chapter to introduce Matilda, her kingdom, and Ulthos. In Chapter 20 you get the culmination of the Bronze Wars and a 5 year time skip, which is what leads to chapter 21. So yeah, I need to introduce some things BECAUSE THEY’RE NEW. This is also true of the squidfucking.
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May 3, 2018 16:46
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loquacius posted:Btw $15 is more than I would pay for an actually good book which had been recommended to me by people I trusted; might want to adjust that price down a little bit but I fully support this move to self-publish, sincere good luck Yeah, there's a big break point at $10. I'd release the first volume at $7.99 tops, that will still get some impulse purchases and make more money in the long run. Goonspeed!
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May 3, 2018 16:48
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Android Blues posted:I can't stop giggling at Ulthos, Lord of the Nether Beasts, who lurks underwater and is a hitman. 1 billion doogans!
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May 3, 2018 16:54
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I read it as ultros too and got all kinds of cracked up
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May 3, 2018 16:55
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This is actually believable. "Too much exposition" is a trap that many beginning writers fall into.
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May 3, 2018 16:56
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Squidjackoff Saga is better than Game of Thrones.
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May 3, 2018 16:59
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I'm agreed that if a book from an unknown author is very long, it's much better to break it into, for example, 200 page chunks priced at $4.99 each rather than $14.99 for the same 600 pages. I read a lot of kindle pulp fiction and I'm not going to pay more than $10 maximum for a book by an author I haven't already read and liked.
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May 3, 2018 17:23
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Butt Discussin posted:I'm agreed that if a book from an unknown author is very long, it's much better to break it into, for example, 200 page chunks priced at $4.99 each rather than $14.99 for the same 600 pages. I read a lot of kindle pulp fiction and I'm not going to pay more than $10 maximum for a book by an author I haven't already read and liked. Yeah but good luck finding another book with squidfucking for under $15!
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May 3, 2018 17:26
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DandyLion posted:Yeah but good luck finding another book with squidfucking for under $15! https://www.amazon.com/Someone-Cuttle-Cuttlefish-Shapeshifter-Erotica-ebook/dp/B0087PTMW2
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May 3, 2018 17:31
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P-Mack posted:https://www.amazon.com/Someone-Cuttle-Cuttlefish-Shapeshifter-Erotica-ebook/dp/B0087PTMW2 quote:No, don't pay $3 for 12 pages. That's a term paper, not a $3 book.
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May 3, 2018 17:33
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I am now fascinated by Splatoon porn.
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May 3, 2018 17:43
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P-Mack posted:https://www.amazon.com/Someone-Cuttle-Cuttlefish-Shapeshifter-Erotica-ebook/dp/B0087PTMW2 Cuttlefish belong to the same class (Cephalopoda) as squid, but are not, in fact, squid. My previous statement still stands.
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May 3, 2018 18:04
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punk rebel ecks posted:I am now fascinated by Splatoon porn. aren't those squid things supposed to be like 13 years old
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May 3, 2018 18:09
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DandyLion posted:Yeah but good luck finding another book with squidfucking for under $15! do you have any idea how cheap hentai can be
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May 3, 2018 18:09
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i thought your book was good writer goon (:
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May 3, 2018 18:14
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The jerking off a squid part in the given chapter screams "I'm too hosed up even for  ".
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May 3, 2018 18:30
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Jerking Off Squids is the name of my ska band.
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May 3, 2018 18:34
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yeah I eat rear end posted:aren't those squid things supposed to be like 13 years old Human years not Squid years. 
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May 3, 2018 18:50
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quote:There was no sex, Matilda literally just masturbated a squid HerStuddMuffin posted:We were overdue for a new thread title.
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May 3, 2018 18:51
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"don't gently caress your therapist, unless it's a squid, and even then only hand stuff plz"
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May 3, 2018 18:52
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loquacius posted:
This made me double back and actually take a look. This is not good. I'm impressed you got something written down, but there is way too much exposition. And nudity and tiny pink nipples warrant NSFW. "Deep below lurked Ulthos, Lord of the Nether Beasts. Ulthos was a trainer of beasts, a collector of monsters, and a mercenary for hire. He specialized in making hits look like random monster attacks, and he was very good at it." How about : "Deep below lurked Ulthos, It's still not great, but full titles are tedious and "hits" really? "Hits"? Don't give up, but do expect to edit and re edit based on feedback. "With the possible exception of God during the writing of the Bible, every writer in history has needed an editor. So do you." And lets be honest the Bible has been edited dozens of times.
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May 3, 2018 19:31
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jk rowling wrote harry potter in one sitting my dude. you can do it too
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May 3, 2018 19:38
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I like the part where the squid came 
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May 3, 2018 19:38
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text me a vag pic posted:I like the part where the squid came Username post
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May 3, 2018 19:40
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My favorite Bible edit was the one where they gave Moses horns for some reason y'all Christians, srsly
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May 3, 2018 19:42
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loquacius posted:My favorite Bible edit was the one where they gave Moses horns for some reason Weren't the horns meant to be shafts of light that rose from his head and then somehow that slowly translated down to horns? Anyway, I liked it when Moses fingered a squid
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May 3, 2018 19:45
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text me a vag pic posted:Weren't the horns meant to be shafts of light that rose from his head and then somehow that slowly translated down to horns? The Hebrew literally just said "his face was all glowy" and some medieval douche was like "that word means... 'horns' right? makes sense" You can find people on the Internet who say that change was on purpose and actually respectful because way back in the day horns meant you were a wise ruler rather than Satan Who Is The Devil but that still seems like a stretch to me as it has no other basis in Jewish mythology
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May 3, 2018 19:52
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loquacius posted:Not a fesh (will post mote later) but the guy sent something he claims to be a chapter of his book This is just porn. I mean, probably better than some of that Tingle stuff, but still. Whoever posted that "The Onion reviews the Hobbit" video has loving Nostradamus clarivoyance. I'm 50/50 it being written as a gag for this thread. If not and what the response said was true, then by all means go for it buddy. Give it a publish - I guarantee there is an audience for it. loquacius posted:Followup from a guy who was having Girlfriend Issues: Glad to see things are working out, even if that's not the direction I would have taken it. I'm happy for him (her?) loquacius posted:
I know this is from a few weeks ago but I want that poster to know that I had a very similar situation with one of my ex-HS buddies. Seemed cool, but in the post-HS drifting apart that everyone experiences (to some degree, at least I hope  ) they got into some poo poo and ended up dying in a pretty similarly trashy way. I had a few follow-up texts from them, spread out over a couple of years, but always ignored them. Looking back after their death, they all fit together like a Forensic Files episode where I'm the lovely detective that didn't see the signs until too late. No use beating yourself up over it now, though. Wasn't your responsibility, and hindsight is 20/20.
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May 3, 2018 20:10
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loquacius posted:Not a fesh (will post mote later) but the guy sent something he claims to be a chapter of his book I wonder when the Sword men gently caress the dragons. Is that in the next book? Truly this is a visionary work and I would pay plenty of Doogans to own it.
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May 3, 2018 20:16
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lol squid don't even have cloacae the males have huge dicks and they shoot their sperm, fire-hose-like, into the female's mouth
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May 3, 2018 21:39
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jesus
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May 3, 2018 21:39
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sandoz posted:lol squid don't even have cloacae hearing this I'm honestly shocked there's not even more squid porn than there already is
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May 3, 2018 21:43
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can... can I be a squid in my next life?
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May 3, 2018 21:44
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loquacius posted:hearing this I'm honestly shocked there's not even more squid porn than there already is Sadly, depressingly, there is always hentai, Loq.
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May 3, 2018 21:45
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Also lmao at the people who legitimately can't tell if this guy is trolling or not. Like yeah I get it, we live in tyool 2018 where Trump is President, Cosby's a rapist, and anything can happen, but come on.
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May 3, 2018 21:46
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loquacius posted:hearing this I'm honestly shocked there's not even more squid porn than there already is Hokusai was ahead of his time
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May 3, 2018 21:46
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Queen Combat posted:better than some of that Tingle stuff 
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May 3, 2018 23:21
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Tingle, tbh, trades on concept and speed, not execution There is a documented case of a squid loving an old Korean lady's mouth
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May 4, 2018 00:46
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