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Doc Hawkins
Jun 15, 2010

Dashing? But I'm not even moving!


Wildcats 3.0 starred a hero who got down to the dirty business of making a battery that never runs out.

...well, okay, it starred the various problem-solvers he called in to get down to the dirty business, because there's only so many pages you can fill with innovation gradually but inexorably changing the world for the better, but it was pure and good and I loved it. :kiddo:

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Random Stranger
Nov 27, 2009



Wapole Languray posted:

I know Valiant went harder into making their universe have a clear split where it just straight became a gonzo alternate timeline starting from WW2 and going batshit in the mid 2000's. Like, the first big obvious divergence was the Syrian conflict being ended super early because Assad was assassinated by psychics. Then time travelers conquered Romania, Mexico City was nuked out of existence, a psychic dictator conquered Somalia...

Marvel tried to do something similar with the New Universe where it was the real world right up to the moment of the White Event. But then they didn't really do anything with that until it was clear the line was going nowhere and then they went bugnuts. The first obvious thing was that rear end in a top hat-Superman hosed up royally by deciding that he was too much of a gently caress up and tried to commit suicide two miles above Pittsburg. His choice of method, however, vaporized everything in a fifteen mile radius. Yes, that includes the earth's crust down to thirteen miles. Then they drafted everyone with superpowers into the army. Turns out Ronald Reagan had superpowers which were revealed when a guy they drafted and drove crazy tried to kill him. Then Washington DC was devastated by a Soviet Super Psychic who burned the copy of the US constitution in the National Archives for fun. And in all of this mess, a supervillain used his mind control powers to become president.

I tried to find a funny New Universe panel for this post, but the books were either completely lovely in an unfun way or completely serious so it's not a surprise I couldn't find anything.

Rhyno
Mar 22, 2003
Probation
Can't post for 10 years!

Doc Hawkins posted:

Wildcats 3.0 starred a hero who got down to the dirty business of making a battery that never runs out.

...well, okay, it starred the various problem-solvers he called in to get down to the dirty business, because there's only so many pages you can fill with innovation gradually but inexorably changing the world for the better, but it was pure and good and I loved it. :kiddo:

That was a great book. Bummer it sold like poo poo.

Nessus
Dec 22, 2003

After a Speaker vote, you may be entitled to a valuable coupon or voucher!



site posted:

I'm not sure what the dilemma you're having is here, but suppressing cures means you can bleed the sick dry by keeping chronic care in check through pills you make them buy for decades
This would be true from a cartel perspective. However, there is some motivation to find cures, even purely from a financial perspective: the cure may kill the market, but you'll be the one closing it out, as well as massive indirect halo effects. In addition, there are non-profit-motivated actors, such as research universities, national programs, etc. who are motivated to find cures, even if they may not be able to directly distribute them at scale.

So what you describe is a great reason for these companies to focus on finding management treatments over cures, but they're not the only actors.

Cancer is also a complex and subtle disease, I think it would have been more evocative if Jane had tried other solutions and they just didn't work, whereas the Earth chemotherapy did, albeit slowly.

Anyway none of this poo poo is funny panels. Here's one from Astonishing X-Men, when Wolverine was getting over a bad case of thinking of himself as a simpering Victorian boy with an illness.

Air Skwirl
May 13, 2007

Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night stays these couriers from the swift completion of their appointed shitposting.
How was Joss Whedon's Astonishing X-Men so good and Joss Whedon's Runaways so bad?

Nessus
Dec 22, 2003

After a Speaker vote, you may be entitled to a valuable coupon or voucher!



Skwirl posted:

How was Joss Whedon's Astonishing X-Men so good and Joss Whedon's Runaways so bad?
What did that weirdo do with Runaways, oh my lord

Air Skwirl
May 13, 2007

Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night stays these couriers from the swift completion of their appointed shitposting.

Nessus posted:

What did that weirdo do with Runaways, oh my lord

At the time it seemed like the most slam dunk idea for a follow up to BKV's run, the creator of Buffy the Vampire Slayer writing a bunch of teenagers with powers they don't fully understand while trying to stay under the radar of the grown up world and also helping people.

LRADIKAL
Jun 10, 2001

Fun Shoe
Does Wolverine vape now?

Tricky Ed
Aug 18, 2010

It is important to avoid confusion. This is the one that's okay to lick.


We live in a boring dystopia and no one is looking for cures because they turn out to be unprofitable in the long run.


TwoPair
Mar 28, 2010

Pandamn It Feels Good To Be A Gangsta
Grimey Drawer

Nessus posted:

Anyway none of this poo poo is funny panels. Here's one from Astonishing X-Men, when Wolverine was getting over a bad case of thinking of himself as a simpering Victorian boy with an illness.



The beer can whispers "remember who you are" in his ear

prefect
Sep 11, 2001

No one, Woodhouse.
No one.




Dead Man’s Band

TwoPair posted:

The beer can whispers "remember who you are" in his ear

And then Wolvie's all "snikty-snooj" and starts kicking rear end. :rock:

Keeshhound
Jan 14, 2010

Mad Duck Swagger

TwoPair posted:

The beer can whispers "remember who you are" in his ear

Oh! That's beer. :doh:

I thought it was a can of tomato soup and was very confused.

Malachite_Dragon
Mar 31, 2010

Weaving Merry Christmas magic
The hell do you live that tomato soup cans have poptops?

Zereth
Jul 9, 2003



and say "BEER" on them in the first panel.

mercenarynuker
Sep 10, 2008

Malachite_Dragon posted:

The hell do you live that tomato soup cans have poptops?

America?

https://www.campbells.com/wp-content/uploads/sites/26/2016/04/0011-7_RW_Tomato_10oz-e1459787519295.png

Edit: I'm not that dude who thought it was tomato soup (it's loving Wolverine, man, what the hell do you think that can's gonna be?), but like all my soups at this point have poptops. poo poo's just convenient

mercenarynuker fucked around with this message at 15:42 on May 5, 2018

Senior Woodchuck
Aug 29, 2006

When you're lost out there and you're all alone, a light is waiting to carry you home

Nessus posted:

What did that weirdo do with Runaways, oh my lord

A boring time-travel arc that broke up Victor and Nico (still mad about that) and introduced a new teammate no one cared about.

Still, Molly got to punch the Punisher in the stomach:

Keeshhound
Jan 14, 2010

Mad Duck Swagger

Zereth posted:

and say "BEER" on them in the first panel.

I wasn't studying each panel in detail. I saw a red can with a red blob on the label hit him on the head. I just assumed the joke was "he got hit on the head and it cured his amnesia."

Air Skwirl
May 13, 2007

Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night stays these couriers from the swift completion of their appointed shitposting.
The can has the word BEER on it.

zoux
Apr 28, 2006

TwoPair posted:

The beer can whispers "remember who you are" in his ear

I'm imagining the popeye music playing.

I think the best joke in Whedon's AXM is Colossus’s “since childhood I have dreamed of destroying Breakworld”

Random Stranger
Nov 27, 2009



Senior Woodchuck posted:

A boring time-travel arc that broke up Victor and Nico (still mad about that) and introduced a new teammate no one cared about.

Still, Molly got to punch the Punisher in the stomach:



The only good thing in the Whedon run besides Molly beating up the Punisher was this:



For those who don't get it.

Push El Burrito
May 9, 2006

Soiled Meat
You guys don't have beer brand soup where you live?

Rhyno
Mar 22, 2003
Probation
Can't post for 10 years!

Keeshhound posted:

Oh! That's beer. :doh:

I thought it was a can of tomato soup and was very confused.

Dude.

Mooseontheloose
May 13, 2003

Push El Burrito posted:

You guys don't have beer brand soup where you live?

No but we have soup brand beer around here.

Wheat Loaf
Feb 13, 2012

by FactsAreUseless

I can see you've played soupy beery before.

prefect
Sep 11, 2001

No one, Woodhouse.
No one.




Dead Man’s Band

Wheat Loaf posted:

I can see you've played soupy beery before.

I'm Bob Dole, and I approve of this post.

Avulsion
Feb 12, 2006
I never knew what hit me

Senior Woodchuck posted:

A boring time-travel arc that broke up Victor and Nico (still mad about that) and introduced a new teammate no one cared about.

Still, Molly got to punch the Punisher in the stomach:



Punisher War Journal: hhhrrrrnnggggg.........

Keeshhound
Jan 14, 2010

Mad Duck Swagger

Avulsion posted:

Punisher War Journal: hhhrrrrnnggggg.........

I know she's super strong, but how strong, exactly? Is Frank going a few days without eating, or does he need to go to the hospital before his ruptured colon goes septic?

Air Skwirl
May 13, 2007

Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night stays these couriers from the swift completion of their appointed shitposting.

Keeshhound posted:

I know she's super strong, but how strong, exactly? Is Frank going a few days without eating, or does he need to go to the hospital before his ruptured colon goes septic?

Assuming she wasn't holding back the only reason her fist didn't go straight through his body and out the other side is her short arms.

Ygolonac
Nov 26, 2007

pre:
*************
CLUTCH  NIXON
*************

The Hero We Need

Keeshhound posted:

I know she's super strong, but how strong, exactly? Is Frank going a few days without eating, or does he need to go to the hospital before his ruptured colon goes septic?





(Runaways v2 #26)


I kinda want to say he's still standing there, trying manfully not to poo poo his entire digestive tract into his boots, at the end of that whole story arc, but I can't find it for sure.

goatface
Dec 5, 2007

I had a video of that when I was about 6.

I remember it being shit.


Grimey Drawer
He's fine, the pseudo-super-soldier-serum drugs have made him tough enough.

(That is a thing that happened, right? I'm not just hallucinating that.)

prefect
Sep 11, 2001

No one, Woodhouse.
No one.




Dead Man’s Band

goatface posted:

He's fine, the pseudo-super-soldier-serum drugs have made him tough enough.

(That is a thing that happened, right? I'm not just hallucinating that.)

The Punisher didn't have super-soldier drugs back in the '80s, as far as I can remember. :corsair:

Although he also wasn't an angel, either.

site
Apr 6, 2007

Trans pride, Worldwide
Bitch
He's not officially a meta but he definitely has some kinda super healing poo poo going on considering how often he gets shot and stabbed and that one time he lost an eye that reappeared ten issues later

Doc Hawkins
Jun 15, 2010

Dashing? But I'm not even moving!


The Punisher sold his soul and family to Mephisto to survive Vietnam and his secret is hell-power, like a super-mild Spawn.

That's the version I like best.

Push El Burrito
May 9, 2006

Soiled Meat

Skwirl posted:

Assuming she wasn't holding back the only reason her fist didn't go straight through his body and out the other side is her short arms.

Kevlar might have helped.

Might.

Rhyno
Mar 22, 2003
Probation
Can't post for 10 years!
He didn't get chopped up and Frankencastled for a few more years after that.

Selachian
Oct 9, 2012

The amazing thing about that story is that it didn't lead to Garth Ennis writing a comic where the Punisher hunted down and murdered thinly veiled expys of the Runaways.

MH Knights
Aug 4, 2007

prefect posted:

Although he also wasn't an angel, either.

That was the mid 90's right?

Rhyno
Mar 22, 2003
Probation
Can't post for 10 years!

MH Knights posted:

That was the mid 90's right?

1998.

Samuringa
Mar 27, 2017

Best advice I was ever given?

"Ticker, you'll be a lot happier once you stop caring about the opinions of a culture that is beneath you."

I learned my worth, learned the places and people that matter.

Opened my eyes.
What the gently caress, I always thought that monologue about "The angels showed me the way" in Welcome Back, Frank was some sort of metaphor, he actually worked for real angels?

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goatface
Dec 5, 2007

I had a video of that when I was about 6.

I remember it being shit.


Grimey Drawer
Yes. If you accept it as canon.

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