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syscall girl posted:I'm actually going back in time to gently caress Galen and fight Lincoln I'm more of a Grania O'Malley type, but I respect your choice.
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May 5, 2018 03:56
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Malachite_Dragon posted:Well I'm hosed, then Or not hosed, as we’ve established.
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May 5, 2018 04:50
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My time travel plan is simple. Go back, smack as many of the dumbass southern politicians responsible for seceding and forming the Confederacy across the face as I can. Hopefully also slap Lincoln for not putting Grant in charge sooner. Then find someplace quiet and die because they can't charge cochlear implant batteries in that time period and when my ability to hear runs out I am fuuuuuucked.
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May 5, 2018 08:26
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Malachite_Dragon posted:My time travel plan is simple. Go back, smack as many of the dumbass southern politicians responsible for seceding and forming the Confederacy across the face as I can. Hopefully also slap Lincoln for not putting Grant in charge sooner. Then find someplace quiet and die because they can't charge cochlear implant batteries in that time period and when my ability to hear runs out I am fuuuuuucked. You could be the first Helen Keller.
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May 5, 2018 09:55
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I'm not blind or mute, and I only know one sign. Here it is: 
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May 5, 2018 10:21
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May 5, 2018 10:25
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Well, I mean, that one too if you're payin' 
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May 5, 2018 10:35
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I would go back in time to the 1920s, touch Valentino's butt for as long as I could, then steal a bunch of poo poo to sell at auction to rich people when I returned.
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May 5, 2018 11:28
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If we're limited to the 20th century because time-travel rules are weird Get syphilis from Al Capone, give it to Ayn Rand Try to convince Hemingway that life is still worth living
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May 5, 2018 12:18
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Fleta Mcgurn posted:I would go back in time to the 1920s, touch Valentino's butt for as long as I could, then steal a bunch of poo poo to sell at auction to rich people when I returned. pro tip: hide it somewhere so its proper old when you get back to the present, otherwise it just looks like super accurate replicas trust me
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May 5, 2018 12:39
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syscall girl posted:If we're limited to the 20th century because time-travel rules are weird Hide Kurt Cobain's shotgun
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May 5, 2018 12:41
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Offer to mediate between Biggie and Tupac.
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May 5, 2018 12:51
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Ghost Leviathan posted:Offer to mediate between Biggie and Tupac. Malachite_Dragon posted:Hide Kurt Cobain's shotgun Yeah, you could do better than gently caress/marry/kill Since we don't have time machines I guess we need to encourage people we know not to take themselves out of the game
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May 5, 2018 12:57
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eliminate the number 27 & thereby destroy the club
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May 5, 2018 13:00
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Malachite_Dragon posted:Hide Kurt Cobain's shotgun I already did that. I didn't want anyone to find it and unload it.
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May 5, 2018 13:05
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Jedit posted:I already did that. I didn't want anyone to find it and unload it. Can we get a smilie for hot takes?
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May 5, 2018 13:11
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I thought  was that
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May 5, 2018 13:15
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purple death ray posted:I thought It's impossible to tell if it's ironic or not! IMPOSSIBLE!
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May 5, 2018 13:31
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purple death ray posted:I thought okay yeah that's actually on point
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May 5, 2018 13:41
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Krankenstyle posted:pro tip: hide it somewhere so its proper old when you get back to the present, otherwise it just looks like super accurate replicas I'm gonna HIDE THE BUTT oh, wait, I see what you're saying.
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May 5, 2018 15:08
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I think it's funny that these goons think they'll go back in time and hang out with famous people. You'll go back to a historic time and still get wedgied then shoved into a locker.
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May 5, 2018 15:28
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Booger Presley posted:I think it's funny that these goons think they'll go back in time and hang out with famous people. You'll go back to a historic time and still get wedgied then shoved into a locker. All these cool plans for what to do back in history and you'll brush up against a wall cutting yourself on a nail protruding out and that's the end.
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May 5, 2018 17:21
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Booger Presley posted:I think it's funny that these goons think they'll go back in time and hang out with famous people. You'll go back to a historic time and still get wedgied then shoved into a locker. Are you kidding? We're all a foot taller and one-hundred pounds heavier than their greatest warriors. We'll be gods. Unfortunately, this Lobok posted:All these cool plans for what to do back in history and you'll brush up against a wall cutting yourself on a nail protruding out and that's the end. is what will actually happen. That, or the Time Goon will flee back to his own century when he realizes his anime porn DVDs aren't compatible with medieval technology.
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May 5, 2018 17:27
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Veni Vidi Ameche! posted:Are you kidding? We're all a foot taller and one-hundred pounds heavier than their greatest warriors. We'll be gods. Unfortunately, this Maybe, but if their greatest warrior guts you with a sword while you loom intimidatingly the physical advantage will be somewhat diminished.
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May 5, 2018 17:45
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I'd think the numerous future diseases that cover our bodies at all times would be a big problem for any time travel scenario
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May 5, 2018 17:53
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Improbable Lobster posted:I'd think the numerous future diseases that cover our bodies at all times would be a big problem for any time travel scenario  You know, I don't think I'd ever even thought of that. Has this been covered by science fiction at all? Because if not, holy poo poo.
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May 5, 2018 17:56
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Bring a couple guns and a duffel bag full of ammo, kill the first king you see and rule with an iron fist. It's not hard.
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May 5, 2018 17:58
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Absurd Alhazred posted:
 not sure if serious
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May 5, 2018 17:59
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Spanish Manlove posted:
No, I'm serious. I feel like a complete idiot (what's new right?), but I either hadn't thought of it or had thought of it and forgot, and I can't off the top of my head think of a story where that featured, and I read one or two time-travel ones recently.
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May 5, 2018 18:02
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Garrand posted:Bring a couple guns and a duffel bag full of ammo, kill the first king you see and rule with an iron fist. It's not hard. Well, they don't let just anyone meet the king. If bringing tech over is possible it should be possible to establish yourself as god or an angel or something tho. Or a witch, they burn those.
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May 5, 2018 18:03
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doverhog posted:Maybe, but if their greatest warrior guts you with a sword while you loom intimidatingly the physical advantage will be somewhat diminished. I'm not sure their blunt, old-timey swords made of garbage metal can penetrate our modern, gelatinous guts. However, your point is valid, and I will stuff some newspaper under my shirt, or something.
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May 5, 2018 18:05
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Given the choice of living as a medieval king or modern poverty stricken poor I'd choose the latter 9 times out of 10. Life sucked hard balls back then, and I'd only consider it if I could go back with a top of the line Winnebago towing a lifetime supply of preserved food, medicine, stocked library and enough automatic weapons to take over a medium sized modern African nation. I'd establish a 100m death zone around my battle wagon and rule via loudspeaker edict. "Stop reading the Bible, idiots" "rotate your crops, you dumbass" "Send me your comely maidens, dolt" "Oh god brush your teeth, wretch" "behead that aristocrat, simpletons" "Invent jam donuts, dummy" "here's some mouldy bread, you're welcome"
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May 5, 2018 18:31
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Eox posted:lmbo if your time travel plans aren't using your vague recollection of who wins what wars to make a killing gently caress that ima go back to the 50’s and invent rap music. Ice Ice Baby, Can’t Touch This, One Mic - I wrote those and performed those songs.
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May 5, 2018 18:42
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Ghost Leviathan posted:Offer to mediate between Biggie and Tupac. Kill Puffy; he’s ultimately the person who caused both deaths.
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May 5, 2018 18:43
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Veni Vidi Ameche! posted:I'm not sure their blunt, old-timey swords made of garbage metal can penetrate our modern, gelatinous guts. However, your point is valid, and I will stuff some newspaper under my shirt, or something. Do you recall the tale of David and Goliath? Beaten by a manlet... the indignity.
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May 5, 2018 18:46
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gently caress Helen of Troy, Marry Elizabeth I, Kill Kennedy
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May 5, 2018 18:51
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fruit on the bottom posted:gently caress Helen of Troy, Marry Elizabeth I, Kill Kennedy Peasant: "Hey Harry, wanna play kill, marry, gently caress?" Henry the VIII: "Sure! Anne Bolin!"
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May 5, 2018 18:58
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https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/A_Connecticut_Yankee_in_King_Arthur%27s_Court Not to be confused with the awful movie, this is a good book. At one point the protagonist creates multiple soap companies and starts sponsoring knights because everyone smells so bad and he hopes sports + brand loyalty will get them to start bathing. He also trolls the poo poo out of Merlin.
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May 5, 2018 19:06
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Solice Kirsk posted:Peasant: "Hey Harry, wanna play kill, marry, gently caress?"
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May 5, 2018 19:16
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Solice Kirsk posted:Peasant: "Hey Harry, wanna play kill, marry, gently caress?"
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May 5, 2018 19:51
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