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It's from Paradise Lost, which was basically fan fiction with some of its less weird ideas incorporated into general belief (nobody ever mentions that it has space aliens in it)
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May 8, 2018 14:04
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poptart_fairy posted:Why the hell was I not taught this in Sunday school. Hearing Jesus put down an angelic insurrection would have made me pious as all gently caress, not that lame rear end bread and fish poo poo. That's from Paradise Lost not the Bible, though its practically become biblical canon to your laymen. Jesus is also rad gently caress in the Koran. He is the general who will lead God's forces in the end times.
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May 8, 2018 14:05
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I knew about the chasing moneychangers out of the temple and cursing the fig tree, but that's less "Jesus being awesome" and more "Jesus on the path of being a good rabbi". I just like the idea of Jesus just trying to do his thing while Kratos is loving everything up, then after Jesus dies and rises on the third day, he is pissed and comes after Kratos, all the while Kratos has no idea who this is and why he is pissed at him.
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May 8, 2018 14:13
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"Turn the other cheek on this, you overgrown, tattooed motherfucker!" *Beats Kratos' rear end with a giant cross*
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May 8, 2018 14:19
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exquisite tea posted:I say give us a God of War game where Kratos gouges out Jesus' eyeballs. Nobody ever gives Judeo-Christian mythology enough poo poo. Judging by the last two mandatory story bosses I've fought, NuGoW would just make Jesus a giant troll type enemy with a lame gimmick
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May 8, 2018 18:13
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Jesus would be the Stranger 2.0
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May 8, 2018 18:20
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Jesus would be a grappler and spend the entire game trying to restrain you and never attack once.
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May 8, 2018 19:26
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poptart_fairy posted:Why the hell was I not taught this in Sunday school. Hearing Jesus put down an angelic insurrection would have made me pious as all gently caress, not that lame rear end bread and fish poo poo. Eh, I don't know. "rear end, bread, and fish" sounds like everything a person needs in life in the end. Not that lame.
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May 8, 2018 22:39
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Beyond: Two Souls is the PS Plus freebie this month, presumably to get people hyped up for Quantic Dream's Detroit: Become Human, out in a few weeks. However, David Cage's writing is so unbelievably clumsy, cliched and just outright lovely that any thoughts I had of picking up Detroit have gone right out the window. Christ what a hack. I feel sorry for the clearly talented artists, programmers and sound people at Quantic Dream whose talents are being wasted on someone who really should recognise his creative limitations and hire some real writers.
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May 8, 2018 23:19
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glad she is dead posted:I feel sorry for the clearly talented artists, programmers and sound people at Quantic Dream whose talents are being wasted on someone who really should recognise his creative limitations and hire some real writers. You really shouldn't. When Ellen Page refused to let them scan her body to make a fully nude model, they went and made their own.
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May 8, 2018 23:37
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PubicMice posted:You really shouldn't. When Ellen Page refused to let them scan her body to make a fully nude model, they went and made their own. I choose to believe this was entirely the doing of David Cage.
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May 8, 2018 23:46
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PubicMice posted:You really shouldn't. When Ellen Page refused to let them scan her body to make a fully nude model, they went and made their own. Well I mean, same.
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May 8, 2018 23:49
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PubicMice posted:You really shouldn't. When Ellen Page refused to let them scan her body to make a fully nude model, they went and made their own. Isn't making a nude model a fairly common practice in animation, both 3D and traditional? Like, not for lewd purposes or anything, but just to get a basic idea of how the character will be positioned and move in a scene before committing to the clothes that will be used in the final product.
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May 8, 2018 23:50
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Inco posted:Isn't making a nude model a fairly common practice in animation, both 3D and traditional? Like, not for lewd purposes or anything, but just to get a basic idea of how the character will be positioned and move in a scene before committing to the clothes that will be used in the final product. Probably yeah, but did it need to have such lovingly crafted nipples?
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May 8, 2018 23:59
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Inco posted:Isn't making a nude model a fairly common practice in animation, both 3D and traditional? Like, not for lewd purposes or anything, but just to get a basic idea of how the character will be positioned and move in a scene before committing to the clothes that will be used in the final product. Figure drawing is just a fundamental art skill in general. Human bodies are extremely mechanically complex and every art person portrays humans at some point or another. Making a naked person in whatever medium you work in will teach you a lot. Deliberately crafting a nude model of a specific person after they told you not to is skeevy as gently caress. If all they wanted was a nude model they could have just made one of somebody else or just, you know, built it to resemble nobody specific. ToxicSlurpee has a new favorite as of 00:05 on May 9, 2018 |
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May 9, 2018 00:03
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ToxicSlurpee posted:Eh, I don't know. "rear end, bread, and fish" sounds like everything a person needs in life in the end. Not that lame. No one rides for free!
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May 9, 2018 01:12
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I feel like there's also a rather clear difference between rough draft Barbie/Ken doll naked and realistically, fully textured and everything else naked. Pretty sure you don't need to spend time hashing out the complexities of areolae to put together an animation test. Edit: Also, for context, I'm pretty sure every single lead female character in David Cage's games has a shower scene, because he's not the least bit subtle about how creepy he is. John Murdoch has a new favorite as of 02:03 on May 9, 2018 |
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May 9, 2018 01:56
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John Murdoch posted:Edit: Also, for context, I'm pretty sure every single lead female character in David Cage's games has a shower scene, because he's not the least bit subtle about how creepy he is. I feel the need to bring this picture up again. 
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May 9, 2018 02:07
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If it's the story I'm thinking of the nude model had a modelled and textured vagina. Like, internal. That is outside the standard set of things to include on non-pornographic female game character models. Especially now in the era of ripping game models and textures to create pornography. Double especially with a real person's face. Triple especially if the same game includes the same real person face character as a realistically-proportioned child.
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May 9, 2018 02:11
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I think that's a case of two different stories merging together. It's that skeezy "cinematic" Half-Life 2 mod where its "much improved" Alyx model has overly-detailed genitals. At least, I would like that to be the case.
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May 9, 2018 02:25
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John Murdoch posted:I think that's a case of two different stories merging together. It's that skeezy "cinematic" Half-Life 2 mod where its "much improved" Alyx model has overly-detailed genitals. Yeah, it showed up in the terrible mods thread a few times. If memory serves it wasn't even a nude mod; just like...a more detailed version of the model. But then somebody loaded it up in a model editor for some reason and the inside of her vagina was modeled because I guess that was necessary? It wasn't even like kind of sort of maybe there. It was obviously lovingly rendered over an extended period of time. It's just like...why?
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May 9, 2018 02:39
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In the new God of War, (now abbreviated to GoW in order for expediency's sake), Kratos can slot gems into equipment for perks. But, unless Im missing something, you can't just put equipped gems into new equipment. They stay slotted into whatever they're in. And you can't take them out without equipping what they're in. So I have a gem that increase defense on something, I get a better piece of armor and want to use that gem on it. I always just equip the new equipment. Then I remember the gem. So I have to equip the old armor, go to the gem, take it out, equip the new armor again, go to the gem and equip it on the new one. I'm a busy man, this needs to be streamlined. Other than that, the new GoW ( that stands for God of War) is great.
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May 9, 2018 06:53
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ToxicSlurpee posted:Yeah, it showed up in the terrible mods thread a few times. If memory serves it wasn't even a nude mod; just like...a more detailed version of the model. But then somebody loaded it up in a model editor for some reason and the inside of her vagina was modeled because I guess that was necessary? I believe the theory was that the mod author just grabbed some generic HOT XXX SUPERMODEL 3D PORNO LADY model and retrofitted it in, 'cuz why else have a loving birth canal.
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May 9, 2018 07:04
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oldpainless posted:In the new God of War, (now abbreviated to GoW in order for expediency's sake), Kratos can slot gems into equipment for perks. But, unless Im missing something, you can't just put equipped gems into new equipment. They stay slotted into whatever they're in. And you can't take them out without equipping what they're in. So I have a gem that increase defense on something, I get a better piece of armor and want to use that gem on it. I always just equip the new equipment. Then I remember the gem. So I have to equip the old armor, go to the gem, take it out, equip the new armor again, go to the gem and equip it on the new one. I'm a busy man, this needs to be streamlined. Other than that, the new GoW ( that stands for God of War) is great. If you go to equip a gem in your new armor, the gem that's in the old armor will show up in the list grayed out. Select it and it will pop it out of the old armor and equip it in the new one directly.
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May 9, 2018 07:57
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they spent so much time modelling ellen page nude because none of them were skilled enough to model willem dafoe's massive dong
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May 9, 2018 23:26
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I really like Slime Rancher, but getting back into it recently has reminded me how quickly you can get to the functional endgame. It wasn't too long into my playing it that I had bought all the main additions to my farm, had acquired all the breeds of Slimes that you can functionally acquire, had all the farms churning out the right plants for my Slimes, etc. This feeling is amplified by playing some of the updates that reward you with things that simply make your existing setup more efficient, instead of anything game-altering. I've knocked out most of the achievements; all I have left to do is make gobs of cash to buy stuff that is explicitly told to be basically a money-sink. Like, I realize that if the game did introduce game-altering stuff I'd be kvetching that the updates ruined my optimized setup, but still.
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May 10, 2018 17:05
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Lunchmeat Larry posted:they spent so much time modelling ellen page nude because none of them were skilled enough to model willem dafoe's massive dong Wellhung below
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May 10, 2018 17:20
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I finally had some time to play Dishonored: Death of the Outsider and, while I really like the changed ability system and the powers, the non-magical traversal is often super awkward. Dishonored 2 was already way less responsive and felt much clunkier than the really smooth original, but it seems like since you can never entirely run out of juice for the powers and everyone will always have the same ones, they've really not tested moving around the levels without teleporting in this one. There have been way too many times I've tried to make a jump that seems possible only to end up coming just a tiny bit short or bumping into a piece of scenery above me. Also I wish they had managed to include some more cool little bits of reactivity for using Semblance, the power that allows you to masquerade as someone else. I walked into a scene with two cultists searching for anything incriminating in the home of a dead friend of theirs, and they just carried on without a care even though I was looking like a guard.
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May 10, 2018 17:25
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I get the distinct feeling that Ugly Americans: Apocalypsegeddon was not thoroughly playtested, as the last boss seems to be absolutely impossible to beat in single player. And before you ask: yes, I am pretty bad at everything I'm even remotely passionate about
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May 11, 2018 14:56
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The puzzles where you have to use stasis to lob objects around in BotW is some frustrating BS. Link moved an inch to the right while swinging so now the object is going to fling off 90 degrees to the right. Add in the fact that hitting the objects damage your weapon and its fun times knowing each failure is closer to breaking your weapon.
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May 11, 2018 22:23
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Playing a LoZ: Link Between Worlds right now and I don’t think I like how you can get the bow, slingshot, bombs, etc right from the beginning. It kinda kills the sense of progression. Not to mention the whole item renting thing is just busywork if you die and lose them.
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May 12, 2018 00:03
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Getting all your tools at the start of the game instead of one at a time was meant to be a change in the formula, since Skyward Sword proved how stagnant the series had become since Ocarina. BOTW furthers A Link Between Worlds example by giving you every tool in the tutorial sandbox. Also the game is piss easy on normal. Inspector Gesicht has a new favorite as of 00:24 on May 12, 2018 |
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May 12, 2018 00:21
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I’m kind of pissed at the original time order of Beyond Two Souls because it made no sense (you’re a kid, then you’re an adult, then you’re a kid again, etc). It made no sense and I just finished the game cause I was bored, not cause I liked it. Playing the game in the new, chronological order, made me actually like the game. I don’t think the writing is that bad, I have played many games with MUCH worse writing. The whole shower animation (and you guys introduced me to the gross naked poo poo) is  though. I was equally when the woman in Heavy Rain was taking a shower. I think I may have complained about that already.
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May 12, 2018 01:44
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oldpainless posted:Wellhung below More like oldshameless.
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May 12, 2018 02:18
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The Bee posted:More like oldshameless. I feel like this one has been done before
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May 12, 2018 07:25
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John Murdoch posted:because he's not the least bit subtle about how creepy he is. He approached Ellen Paige with a homemade photo album of her, with pictures at every stage of her life. Just let that sink in.
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May 12, 2018 09:46
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Schubalts posted:He approached Ellen Paige with a homemade photo album of her, with pictures at every stage of her life. 
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May 12, 2018 11:33
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Prey is a very good game, but I'm getting a lot of mileage out of my hacking skill and have to play 15-20 seconds of tedious minigame every time. I've done it dozens of times without failing, can we just assume that I can do it now and hack the thing without the minigame?
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May 12, 2018 12:00
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Thin Privilege posted:I’m kind of pissed at the original time order of Beyond Two Souls because it made no sense (you’re a kid, then you’re an adult, then you’re a kid again, etc). It made no sense and I just finished the game cause I was bored, not cause I liked it. Playing the game in the new, chronological order, made me actually like the game. I'm about 3/4 of the way through now, and I think the non-linear chronology is completely at odds with the idea of choice-based gameplay. It just seems that if the order and content of upcoming scenes is pre-determined then it completely destroys any illusion that I'm impacting the plot. In the end you just feel like a bored audience member pressing a button to continue a bad film every so often. I know that all the "your choices matter!" in games like these are bullshit smokescreens for railroading the player through a plot, but at least Telltale and Don't Nod usually camouflage that, at least on the first playthrough. All that might be excusable if the scenes you're barely involved in were interesting, but David Cage is an objectively terrible writer.
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May 12, 2018 12:34
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glad she is dead posted:I'm about 3/4 of the way through now, and I think the non-linear chronology is completely at odds with the idea of choice-based gameplay. It just seems that if the order and content of upcoming scenes is pre-determined then it completely destroys any illusion that I'm impacting the plot. In the end you just feel like a bored audience member pressing a button to continue a bad film every so often. I know that all the "your choices matter!" in games like these are bullshit smokescreens for railroading the player through a plot, but at least Telltale and Don't Nod usually camouflage that, at least on the first playthrough. He’s definitely a terrible writer, but every so often he turns in something batshit and transcendently bad. Good ol’ Fahrenheit. Where a detective fucks a zombie murder suspect and you kung fu fight the internet.
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May 12, 2018 12:37
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