Bitcoin: no angel investors, only Faustian bargains

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > Bitcoin: no angel investors, only Faustian bargains

Papa Was A Video Toaster: Jan 9, 2011

let it mellow posted:

like when I email people and we all sign each reply, every single new email includes the signature of the email that was signed before which means you have to go backwards to compromise any email

someone plz tell me how this is new and cool

number go up

# ? May 9, 2018 03:27

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 31, 2024 03:30

Moridin920: Nov 15, 2007; by FactsAreUseless

let it mellow posted:

like when I email people and we all sign each reply, every single new email includes the signature of the email that was signed before which means you have to go backwards to compromise any email

someone plz tell me how this is new and cool

number go UP

# ? May 9, 2018 03:27

let it mellow: Jun 1, 2000; Dinosaur Gum

Moridin920 posted:

number go UP

so does my dilz but nobody gave me money for it????

# ? May 9, 2018 03:28

Burt Sexual: Jan 26, 2006; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS; Switchblade Switcharoo

let it mellow posted:

like when I email people and we all sign each reply, every single new email includes the signature of the email that was signed before which means you have to go backwards to compromise any email

someone plz tell me how this is new and cool

It�s not public

And blockchain isn�t new

# ? May 9, 2018 03:32

let it mellow: Jun 1, 2000; Dinosaur Gum

Burt Sexual posted:

It�s not public

And blockchain isn�t new

but it can be public, if anyone sees the signature they can trace it so

and I know signing chains aren�t new lol, that�s why I asked the stupid question

# ? May 9, 2018 03:35

salt shakeup: Jun 27, 2004; 'orrible fucking nights

AARO posted:

You think there is some me and you going on on these forums. There never was and never will be any me and you. You mean nothing to me.

very good

# ? May 9, 2018 03:36

I would blow Dane Cook: Dec 26, 2008

let it mellow posted:

but it can be public, if anyone sees the signature they can trace it so

and I know signing chains aren�t new lol, that�s why I asked the stupid question

Yeah but how much money are your emails worth?
lol

# ? May 9, 2018 03:36

let it mellow: Jun 1, 2000; Dinosaur Gum

I would blow Dane Cook posted:

Yeah but how much money are your emails worth?
lol

well, nothing, since ur mom didn�t sign her invoice emails

# ? May 9, 2018 03:38

let it mellow: Jun 1, 2000; Dinosaur Gum

accounts receivable

# ? May 9, 2018 03:39

Giga Gaia: May 2, 2006; 360 kickflip to... Meteo?!

Merkin tree

# ? May 9, 2018 03:51

I would blow Dane Cook: Dec 26, 2008

let it mellow posted:

well, nothing, since ur mom didn�t sign her invoice emails

Harsh but fair.

# ? May 9, 2018 03:54

AARP LARPer: Feb 19, 2005; THE DARK SIDE OF SCIENCE BREEDS A WEAPON OF WAR; Buglord

let it mellow posted:

someone plz tell me how this is new and cool

omg blockchain is disruptive!

your emails? not so much

# ? May 9, 2018 04:23

hailthefish: Oct 24, 2010

let it mellow posted:

like when I email people and we all sign each reply, every single new email includes the signature of the email that was signed before which means you have to go backwards to compromise any email

someone plz tell me how this is new and cool

Congratulations, you just realized why all the loving :goonsay:

"I don't really care about bitcoin, but blockchain technology!!!!!!" morons are stupid.

# ? May 9, 2018 04:43

Clockwerk: Apr 6, 2005

That�s sort of close, but what happens once someone accidentally replies to an email that isn�t actually the latest email, now you have competing email chains and this could never be reconciled without talking to another human being and/or setting up a trusted system that culls errant emails and appends to a single email thread. Now let me tell you how bitcoin and blockchain technology has solved this hitherto unsolvable dilemma.

Knowing there can only ever be one valid EmailChain (until someone decides to make EmaiilChain), we will determine which thread is true by whichever one has the most messages. Now, to prevent Stacy in HR from replying to a slightly outdated email, to which people start also replying to, we have a proof of work system. This involves one to an infinite number of machines guessing the current number of teeth in satoshis mouth, and whoever guesses correctly gets to choose which emails get appended to the true EmailChain, and any other emails get discarded or have to wait 0 to an infinite number of seconds (but statistically likely to happen every 10 minutes on average) to be included in the next round of appends

Once you see how this solves a legitimate problem that can�t be solved any better way, you�ll want to invest in it, which you do so by buying into bitcoin, or lite coin, or or dental coin. keep in mind that any day now the world governments will adopt blockchain because of its obvious benefits and zero drawbacks and instead of effortlessly creating their own coin that you own zero of, they will come to you, hat in hand, begging to buy a portion of your coins, no matter the cost

# ? May 9, 2018 07:09

divabot: Jun 17, 2015; A polite little mouse!

salt shakeup posted:

very good

it's very important that everyone knows AARO is very not mad, also everyone should buy [SHITCOIN OF THE WEEK]

# ? May 9, 2018 08:07

Risc1911: Mar 1, 2016

https://twitter.com/ElectrumWallet/status/993819715855405056

:allears:

# ? May 9, 2018 08:45

ilmucche: Mar 16, 2016; What did you say the strategy was?

How do miners pick transactions? Like there are a certain number of transactions in a block, x, and there are so many in the queue, x+n, how does the miner choose them?

Could a miner fake a bunch of transactions to their wallet and play the randon integer lottery to make the next block, therefore stealing everyone's coin in a way the blockchain treats as legitimate?

# ? May 9, 2018 08:46

Telarra: Oct 9, 2012

ilmucche posted:

How do miners pick transactions? Like there are a certain number of transactions in a block, x, and there are so many in the queue, x+n, how does the miner choose them?

Could a miner fake a bunch of transactions to their wallet and play the randon integer lottery to make the next block, therefore stealing everyone's coin in a way the blockchain treats as legitimate?

Transactions are signed with the private key of the source wallet, so no. Miners can pick whatever valid transactions they want, but usually go for the ones with the highest transaction ~~bribes~~ fees. The billion-gigawatt lottery's only purpose is to, without confusion, divide the task of picking transactions between all the miners.

# ? May 9, 2018 09:38

Alan Smithee: Jan 4, 2005; A man becomes preeminent, he's expected to have enthusiasms.

Enthusiasms, enthusiasms...

let it mellow posted:

like when I email people and we all sign each reply, every single new email includes the signature of the email that was signed before which means you have to go backwards to compromise any email

someone plz tell me how this is new and cool

fwd:fwd:fwd:coin

# ? May 9, 2018 11:11

MarksMan: Mar 18, 2001; Nap Ghost

QuarkJets posted:

He was disruptive as gently caress. Isn't that what you like?

No, he was criminal as gently caress. What was disruptive about it? He disrupted a lot of rich peoples finances and I'm sure that trickled down and cascaded to other things too, but it in no way disrupted much outside of that.

# ? May 9, 2018 13:16

I would blow Dane Cook: Dec 26, 2008

Which data structure should they build a cult around next?

# ? May 9, 2018 14:19

QuarkJets: Sep 8, 2008

Clockwerk posted:

That’s sort of close, but what happens once someone accidentally replies to an email that isn’t actually the latest email, now you have competing email chains and this could never be reconciled without talking to another human being and/or setting up a trusted system that culls errant emails and appends to a single email thread. Now let me tell you how bitcoin and blockchain technology has solved this hitherto unsolvable dilemma.

Knowing there can only ever be one valid EmailChain (until someone decides to make EmaiilChain), we will determine which thread is true by whichever one has the most messages. Now, to prevent Stacy in HR from replying to a slightly outdated email, to which people start also replying to, we have a proof of work system. This involves one to an infinite number of machines guessing the current number of teeth in satoshis mouth, and whoever guesses correctly gets to choose which emails get appended to the true EmailChain, and any other emails get discarded or have to wait 0 to an infinite number of seconds (but statistically likely to happen every 10 minutes on average) to be included in the next round of appends

Once you see how this solves a legitimate problem that can’t be solved any better way, you’ll want to invest in it, which you do so by buying into bitcoin, or lite coin, or or dental coin. keep in mind that any day now the world governments will adopt blockchain because of its obvious benefits and zero drawbacks and instead of effortlessly creating their own coin that you own zero of, they will come to you, hat in hand, begging to buy a portion of your coins, no matter the cost

Somethingawful forums technology + signed posts = blockchain technology

Actually blockchain is a little worse because it doesn't have a (half-working) search feature

# ? May 9, 2018 15:31

QuarkJets: Sep 8, 2008

MarksMan posted:

No, he was criminal as gently caress. What was disruptive about it? He disrupted a lot of ~~rich~~ peoples finances and I'm sure that trickled down and cascaded to other things too, but it in no way disrupted much outside of that.

You just described Satoshi Nakamoto + blockchain technology in this post

# ? May 9, 2018 15:38

Razorwired: Dec 7, 2008; It's about to start!

Reddit or Tumblr would be an accurate blockchain as forums analogy and both those sites are terrible.

# ? May 9, 2018 15:39

divabot: Jun 17, 2015; A polite little mouse!

I would blow Dane Cook posted:

Which data structure should they build a cult around next?

Data structures are passe. We need a cult, and coin, built around bogosort.

# ? May 9, 2018 15:47

Harveygod: Jan 4, 2014; YEEAAH HEH HEH HEEEHH

YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYIN

THIS TRASH WAR AIN'T GONNA SOLVE ITSELF YA KNOW

I would blow Dane Cook posted:

Which data structure should they build a cult around next?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RVhHNVguMWo

# ? May 9, 2018 15:48

AARP LARPer: Feb 19, 2005; THE DARK SIDE OF SCIENCE BREEDS A WEAPON OF WAR; Buglord

Bloomberg posted:

Tax Dragnet for Crypto Traders Reaches Spanish Bank Clients

A number of cryptocurrency investors in Spain have found their identities were traced by tax authorities, and they�ve solicited their banks� help to prove no wrongdoing.

Several Spanish lenders have received requests from customers for account documentation in order to respond to inquiries from the tax agency. They include Banco Sabadell SA, according to a spokesman, and Banco Bilbao Vizcaya Argentaria SA, according to a person familiar, who asked not to be named because of the subject�s sensitivity. The Spanish lenders contacted by Bloomberg News don�t trade digital coins, but instead hold funds for these customers.

https://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2018-05-09/tax-dragnet-for-crypto-traders-reaches-spanish-bank-customers

# ? May 9, 2018 17:05

Comfy Fleece Sweater: Apr 2, 2013; You see, but you do not observe.

let it mellow posted:

so does my dilz but nobody gave me money for it????

PM me

# ? May 9, 2018 17:16

gary oldmans diary: Sep 26, 2005

MarksMan posted:

QuarkJets posted:
He was disruptive as gently caress. Isn't that what you like?

No, he was criminal as gently caress. What was disruptive about it? He disrupted a lot of rich peoples finances and I'm sure that trickled down and cascaded to other things too, but it in no way disrupted much outside of that.

"No. It was not disruptive. What's even disruptive about that... yeah it was disruptive."
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ddIz-ydl6Yk&t=74s

# ? May 9, 2018 18:16

Cabal Ties: Feb 28, 2004; Yam Slacker

The obvious fact is bitcoiners believe they know how the world works, the unfortunate truth is that the world works against them.

It�s a loving shame too. Ok, the early adopter friends are developer hacks who can�t manage anything large scale. It makes sense they�re hooked on tokens.

But now I�ve got gullible, ideological normie mates who don�t understand technology getting involved, and snakeoil schisters trying to flog it to me in the pub.

It�s loving bullshit, you morons. It�s been summed up so many times already! Hilariously, in many cases but the ending is gonna be so so sad :gary:

# ? May 9, 2018 19:13

klafbang: Nov 18, 2009; Clapping Larry

If blockchain technology is worth anything, owning any bitcoins today is like owning Myspace stocks in 2005. Most likely, it's like owning Webvan stocks in 2000, though.

# ? May 9, 2018 20:07

Heath: Apr 30, 2008; 🍂🎃🏞️💦

Did Myspace have stocks...?

# ? May 9, 2018 20:10

klafbang: Nov 18, 2009; Clapping Larry

Do bitcoins exist?

# ? May 9, 2018 20:23

Comfy Fleece Sweater: Apr 2, 2013; You see, but you do not observe.

klafbang posted:

If blockchain technology is worth anything, owning any bitcoins today is like owning Myspace stocks in 2005. Most likely, it's like owning Webvan stocks in 2000, though.

That�s why you have to own a diverse portfolio of crypto - 60% BTC, 20% Eth, 15%XMR, 10% SiaCoin, and 5% for other assorted coins such as ELECTRONEUM

# ? May 9, 2018 21:02