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Okay here's the bachelor thread.quote:This thread is about those of us who follow the spirit of the rules. Being "bachelor" isn't about living alone. Being "bachelor" isn't about living in your own squalor. Men, women, husbands, wives, if you have the freedom to do what you want, simply because you want to, this is the thread for you. Hmm, let's see how fast we get people who clearly aren't able to live alone safely. Just on the first page: quote:Eating chef boyardee on a futon with a spoon I found on the floor since it was easier than making a sandwich quote:Wearing one clean sock while doing laundry because I beat off into the sock's brother and its in the wash. quote:I started using old plastic cd spindle covers as bowls because of the last thread. quote:I don't even remember the last time I washed the pants I am wearing. They are developing a nice patina. quote:I went to the kitchen to get some potato chips. quote:The obligatory sink pissing. (I cut back when me and my girl moved in together.) quote:If I want to get the extra ten minutes of sleep I will sleep in my clothes, that way I only have to brush my teeth and put on my shoes. quote:When I was flatting I went a whole year without changing my bedclothes. They were originally white, and ended up a sort of golden brown. quote:Drunk as gently caress, need to pee, use an empty cup! Just don't forget to dump it before someone drinks it, thinking they are getting some yummy apple juice. quote:Shower beer while taking a piss is always fun. Once I tried peeing in the toilet while taking a shower beer just to see if I could make it. Not recommending that one unless you have good accuracy.
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May 11, 2018 02:36
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I'm reasonably certain that almost everybody has done something that gross at least once in their lives. Most people just won't admit it.
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May 11, 2018 02:39
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Latest favourite Austhread moment: Bulgarian disinfectant is exotic liquor, right?
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May 11, 2018 03:22
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chitoryu12 posted:Okay here's the bachelor thread. I forgot how much that thread loved  "I haven't showered in three weeks "
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May 11, 2018 03:50
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ToxicSlurpee posted:I'm reasonably certain that almost everybody has done something that gross at least once in their lives. Most people just won't admit it. I can definitely say I've never done any of those things I quoted. Probably the most "bachelor" thing I've done was predominately use disposable dishware because my dishwasher died and my kitchen sink had a pipe completely separate at the joint so I wanted to minimize any use of it.
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May 11, 2018 03:52
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chitoryu12 posted:Okay here's the bachelor thread. hell yeah
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May 11, 2018 03:56
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Shower beer and having a cigarette while making GBS threads is proof of a god and that he wants us to be happy. Bonus points if it is the first smoke of the day.
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May 11, 2018 03:59
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Resting a sandwich on your thigh as you text on the toilet.
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May 11, 2018 04:00
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chitoryu12 posted:I can definitely say I've never done any of those things I quoted. Probably the most "bachelor" thing I've done was predominately use disposable dishware because my dishwasher died and my kitchen sink had a pipe completely separate at the joint so I wanted to minimize any use of it. See, you may not have done those things specifically but you've probably done something just as bad. It's fine. Humans are gross. We just are.
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May 11, 2018 04:01
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Solice Kirsk posted:Resting a sandwich on your thigh as you text on the toilet. brb gotta add this to my hedonism check list.
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May 11, 2018 04:04
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DON'T EAT IN THE BATHROOM
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May 11, 2018 04:09
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People are gross but usually it's "I pick my nose in private" gross and not "I don't wash my white sheets until long after they turn brown" gross.
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May 11, 2018 04:10
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i like nice words
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The people that act the most grossed out by Batchelor stuff are probably phone posting while making GBS threads on the toilet while their spouse is taking a shower in the same bathroom.
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May 11, 2018 04:15
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lmbo if youve never JO'd and poo poo at the same time. gotta be efficient
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May 11, 2018 04:16
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I can't think of a more productive and efficient way to stimulate the prostate!
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May 11, 2018 04:23
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chitoryu12 posted:Okay here's the bachelor thread. It's super hosed up to look at old thread and see a post you made like 5+ years earlier
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May 11, 2018 05:12
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ToxicSlurpee posted:Good thing I don't have a lawn. Yeah pretty soon none of us will https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aBD30p1tUgg
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May 11, 2018 05:54
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how do you not get shower water in the beer?
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May 11, 2018 06:23
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Gum posted:how do you not get shower water in the beer? just hold the beer upside down.
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May 11, 2018 06:26
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Olive! posted:just hold the beer upside down. Now there's beer in the shower.
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May 11, 2018 06:36
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Gum posted:how do you not get shower water in the beer? Don't put the can under the water.
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May 11, 2018 06:46
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true decadence takes finesse, if you can't wash your rear end with one hand and drink beer with the other then what meaning does any amount of sushi you eat afterwards count?
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May 11, 2018 07:06
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Shower beers are A-ok but the best thing is a bath booze and cigar. Two fingers of maker's and a $3 cigar, nice warm bubble bath up to your chin and foot propped up on the edge of the tub. Light that stogie and follow it with a sip of straight liquor. Exhale slowly and sink in another couple inches and say to yourself, "Life is good".
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May 11, 2018 07:57
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Dillbag posted:I weep if u have never experienced a cigarette while taking a poo poo. When I worked in a casino after we closed it at night it was just me and one of my employees acting as night watchmen. There were no cameras in the bathroom so we could smoke in there. He'd always refer to making GBS threads and smoking as "Italian style". I never understood that but that's what I call making GBS threads and smoking now.
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May 11, 2018 09:41
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I had a great-aunt who kept a pack of cigarettes in the bathroom. I was told she smoked one a day for strictly laxative purposes. That could have been a cover story, but I quit smoking years ago, and that side effect is literally the only thing I miss about it. And yeah, if you're dead set on drinking in the bathroom, just run a bath and make an event out of it.
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May 11, 2018 11:55
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I needed a good self-esteem boost. thanks thread, for being far grosser than me
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May 11, 2018 12:10
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Absurd Alhazred posted:gently caress, and I'd been doing this FOR FREE! More like oldpayless amirite
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May 11, 2018 12:12
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Pastry of the Year posted:I had a great-aunt who kept a pack of cigarettes in the bathroom. I was told she smoked one a day for strictly laxative purposes. That could have been a cover story, but I quit smoking years ago, and that side effect is literally the only thing I miss about it. What the gently caress? I have never experienced or even heard of this & I've smoked for like 15 years.
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May 11, 2018 12:59
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Krankenstyle posted:What the gently caress? I have never experienced or even heard of this & I've smoked for like 15 years. It's a pretty well-known thing! Also, I miss looking cool 
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May 11, 2018 13:10
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I used to chainsmoke in order to really get things movin, poopwise if you know what I mean. It is true
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May 11, 2018 13:12
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dee eight posted:Shower beers are A-ok but the best thing is a bath booze and cigar. Baths are disgusting. You're just stewing in your own filth. *waffle stomps a turd down the shower drain because the toilet is clogged
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May 11, 2018 13:15
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I just drink coffee and eat well.
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May 11, 2018 13:16
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DJ Fuckboy Supreme posted:my favorite Avshalom saga is when she posed for gently caress knows how long as E/N autist Enhydra lutris. I have no idea if threads with her posts still exist but she had me fooled and it was pretty funny watching people walk back and forth deciding whether this intensely bizarre person was legit or not. No way Avshalom has earned the right to be difficult god drat
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May 11, 2018 13:20
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Mr.Tophat posted:No way Avs is like a forums performance artist.
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May 11, 2018 14:12
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How the gently caress can not showering for several days feel good? Any time I haven't been able to get one for a while I start feeling really loving uncomfortable and gross. Do they somehow not know how refreshing being clean feels? 
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May 11, 2018 16:18
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I Said No posted:Do they somehow not know how refreshing being clean feels? "Bachelor" (read: horrifying) goons do not.
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May 11, 2018 16:29
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gently caress you guys, I haven't smoked in 3 months and now I want a cigarette.I Said No posted:How the gently caress can not showering for several days feel good? Any time I haven't been able to get one for a while I start feeling really loving uncomfortable and gross. I can skip about 1.5 days, and by then a shower feels really loving good.
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May 11, 2018 16:46
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Not taking up smoking was probably one of my best life decisions.
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May 11, 2018 16:55
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chitoryu12 posted:Not taking up smoking was probably one of my best life decisions. Probably might want to give up pooping too, wouldn't want people to mistakenly think you were a homosexual.
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May 11, 2018 16:59
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Panfilo posted:Probably might want to give up pooping too, wouldn't want people to mistakenly think you were a homosexual. No that’s giving up wiping.
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May 11, 2018 17:01
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