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I would blow Dane Cook
Dec 26, 2008

Starshark posted:

There's a pigeon at my window who says there's a problem with my Microsoft Windows, should I let it in?

Is it an Indian pigeon?

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Anidav
Feb 25, 2010

ahhh fuck its the rats again
Actually Chinese scammers are very scary. One of my mates almost fell for one claiming to be the Beijing Police and saying his identity was being used for crimes back home in China and they wanted verification he was still in Australia by sending pictures of his passport, Chinese ID and Bank of China card and the stupid gently caress believed them because they are trained to take authoritive figures at face value.

I pulled him up over wechat and was like dude no government will ask for your loving bank card and he snapped out of his authority worshipping trance and blocked the number.

BBJoey
Oct 31, 2012

yeah the afp put out an alert just this week for a taiwanese scam targeting chinese nationals, coercing them to fake their own kidnaping to blackmail family members in china. wild stuff

Gridlocked
Aug 2, 2014

MR. STUPID MORON
WITH AN UGLY FACE
AND A BIG BUTT
AND HIS BUTT SMELLS
AND HE LIKES TO KISS
HIS OWN BUTT
by Roger Hargreaves

Anidav posted:

Actually Chinese scammers are very scary. One of my mates almost fell for one claiming to be the Beijing Police and saying his identity was being used for crimes back home in China and they wanted verification he was still in Australia by sending pictures of his passport, Chinese ID and Bank of China card and the stupid gently caress believed them because they are trained to take authoritive figures at face value.

I pulled him up over wechat and was like dude no government will ask for your loving bank card and he snapped out of his authority worshipping trance and blocked the number.

Good post

Intoluene
Jul 6, 2011

Activating self-destruct sequence!
Fun Shoe

Starshark posted:

There's a pigeon at my window who says there's a problem with my Microsoft Windows, should I let it in?

You're safe as long as it isn't a heron. Fuckers will make a mess of your pots and pans.

Anidav
Feb 25, 2010

ahhh fuck its the rats again
Keep in mind the cultural differences too. If someone called up claiming to be from Telstra most respondents would meet it with suspicion but call up a Chinese person claiming to be China Telecom or Unicom and the response would be drastically different.

Trust in state run institutions is forced so scammers have it really loving easy if they target mainlanders. Most young Chinese went through school with nationalism and CHINA STRONG positioning so when I number calls claiming to be Beijing police they believe it because China Strong.

gucci bane
Oct 27, 2008



no suprise the island dogs are to blame

birdstrike
Oct 30, 2008

i;m gay
good afternoon Anidav this is China Telecom, just calling to let you know that Taiwan, is indeed, #1.

CrazyTolradi
Oct 2, 2011

It feels so good to be so bad.....at posting.

Just tell the scammers that Taiwan is a province of the People's Republic and make them rage

froglet
Nov 12, 2009

You see, the best way to Stop the Boats is a massive swarm of autonomous armed dogs. Strafing a few boats will stop the rest and save many lives in the long term.

You can't make an Omelet without breaking a few eggs. Vote Greens.

Starshark posted:

http://www.abc.net.au/news/2018-05-18/hospitality-workers-chase-millions-in-unpaid-superannuation/9772546


I'm a lot less sympathetic to small business owners than I used to be. Replace them all with Nandos.

I feel like some industries actually need to outsource all their payroll elsewhere. Clearly they can't be trusted.

this broken hill
Apr 10, 2018

by Lowtax

Intoluene posted:

You're safe as long as it isn't a heron. Fuckers will make a mess of your pots and pans.
they're also very difficult to rescue/rehabilitate because they go straight for the eyes. ever see them stab a minnow straight out of the water with that dagger beak? yes.

one of the sweet old ladies in wildlife rescue keeps a welding mask in her car just in case she has to save a heron. i love them

MysticalMachineGun
Apr 5, 2005

froglet posted:

I feel like some industries actually need to outsource all their payroll elsewhere. Clearly they can't be trusted.

They can't be trusted because they don't want to pay people fairly. You think they'll willingly pay someone else to do it so they can no longer shaft their staff to line their own pockets?

JBP
Feb 16, 2017

You've got to know, to understand,
Baby, take me by my hand,
I'll lead you to the promised land.
To accept this collect call from TAIWAN please press one now

*one*

TAIWAN FOREVER FUCKO

*sounds of wheelies popping*

birdstrike
Oct 30, 2008

i;m gay

JBP posted:

To accept this collect call from TAIWAN please press one now

*one*

TAIWAN FOREVER FUCKO

*sounds of wheelies popping*

so long suckers! i rev up my motorcylce and create a huge cloud of smoke. when the cloud dissipates im completely annexed by PRC

Lid
Feb 18, 2005

And the mercy seat is awaiting,
And I think my head is burning,
And in a way I'm yearning,
To be done with all this measuring of proof.
An eye for an eye
And a tooth for a tooth,
And anyway I told the truth,
And I'm not afraid to die.
Taiwan has Hot Star Chicken clearly Taiwan #1

Taiwan has the far and away highest per capita intake of shark fins

Taiwan more like Chinese Taipei

ewe2
Jul 1, 2009

Birdstrike posted:

good afternoon Anidav this is China Telecom, just calling to let you know that Taiwan, is indeed, #1.

Actually I think you'll find the cat is #1.

CrazyTolradi
Oct 2, 2011

It feels so good to be so bad.....at posting.

froglet posted:

I feel like some industries actually need to outsource all their payroll elsewhere. Clearly they can't be trusted.
This never really works because it's really just a case of outsourcing the blame for payroll issues. There's also the issue that dealing with offshore HR makes dealing with any payroll issues that much more difficult for employees, it certainly did within Telstra.

Also, once offshored Telstra HR basically gave out information to anyone who called up and asked, which is hella scary when you consider the implications that has on identity fraud.

Gridlocked
Aug 2, 2014

MR. STUPID MORON
WITH AN UGLY FACE
AND A BIG BUTT
AND HIS BUTT SMELLS
AND HE LIKES TO KISS
HIS OWN BUTT
by Roger Hargreaves

Birdstrike posted:

good afternoon Anidav this is China Telecom, just calling to let you know that Taiwan, is indeed, #1.

froglet
Nov 12, 2009

You see, the best way to Stop the Boats is a massive swarm of autonomous armed dogs. Strafing a few boats will stop the rest and save many lives in the long term.

You can't make an Omelet without breaking a few eggs. Vote Greens.

MysticalMachineGun posted:

They can't be trusted because they don't want to pay people fairly. You think they'll willingly pay someone else to do it so they can no longer shaft their staff to line their own pockets?

Of course not, which is why they should be presented the option of quarterly audits of their books or paying others to manage it all for them.

A friend of mine works as an accountant, he reckons there's people out there who are so poo poo at managing their business affairs they should either get a regular job or just outsource everything.

Les Affaires
Nov 15, 2004

froglet posted:

Of course not, which is why they should be presented the option of quarterly audits of their books or paying others to manage it all for them.

A friend of mine works as an accountant, he reckons there's people out there who are so poo poo at managing their business affairs they should either get a regular job or just outsource everything.

But if they don't run their own business how will they Get Ahead???

Anidav
Feb 25, 2010

ahhh fuck its the rats again
I noticed today that any article about Unions on The Australian has a UNIONS COURT CASE TRACKER at the bottom of the page.



The article just ends and there's a giant union court case hit list inserted before the comments.

This is embedded into multiple Union news articles. Like an election tracker. Lmao.

bandaid.friend
Apr 25, 2017

:obama:My first car was a stick:obama:
Guessing they don't have similar for the banking and child abuse inquiries?

You Am I
May 20, 2001

Me @ your poasting

bandaid.friend posted:

Guessing they don't have similar for the banking and child abuse inquiries?

Or a counter on how much land clearing has been done in Queensland during the week

JBP
Feb 16, 2017

You've got to know, to understand,
Baby, take me by my hand,
I'll lead you to the promised land.

Anidav posted:

I noticed today that any article about Unions on The Australian has a UNIONS COURT CASE TRACKER at the bottom of the page.



The article just ends and there's a giant union court case hit list inserted before the comments.

This is embedded into multiple Union news articles. Like an election tracker. Lmao.

More like the NUW NSW tracker. What a shitshow.

Lid
Feb 18, 2005

And the mercy seat is awaiting,
And I think my head is burning,
And in a way I'm yearning,
To be done with all this measuring of proof.
An eye for an eye
And a tooth for a tooth,
And anyway I told the truth,
And I'm not afraid to die.
https://twitter.com/TonyAbbottMHR/status/996183343883472896?s=20

norp
Jan 20, 2004

TRUMP TRUMP TRUMP

let's invade New Zealand, they have oil

Hot take

Tokamak
Dec 22, 2004

a master strategy for a master strategist

Don Dongington
Sep 27, 2005

#ideasboom
College Slice
I wonder if this is the dumb loving move that finally makes Bishop lose her cool and nut him square in the face at last.

this broken hill
Apr 10, 2018

by Lowtax
i wish i could strike tony abbott down with my own hand but instead i have to wait for history to wreak its slow and perfect vengeance

EoinCannon
Aug 29, 2008

Grimey Drawer

this broken hill posted:

i wish i could strike tony abbott down with my own hand but instead i have to wait for history to wreak its slow and perfect vengeance

You use your head for striking Tony, just do it a bit harder than Astro Labe did

Cleretic
Feb 3, 2010


Ignore my posts!
I'm aggressively wrong about everything!
Melbourne lord mayor results are in. Sally Capp, previously head of a lobbying group for property developers, has won.

I'm not surprised, just disappointed.

Dude McAwesome
Sep 30, 2004

Still better than a Ponytar

Cleretic posted:

Melbourne lord mayor results are in. Sally Capp, previously head of a lobbying group for property developers, has won.

I'm not surprised, just disappointed.

Can’t wait for the rules mandating that every new building must be a minimum of 200m tall, and that parks need to be ripped up for car parking and apartment buildings.

birdstrike
Oct 30, 2008

i;m gay

Dude McAwesome posted:

Can’t wait for the rules mandating that every new building must be a minimum of 200m tall, and that parks need to be ripped up for car parking and apartment buildings.

EXCAVATE 💀 THE 💀 MARKET

CrazyTolradi
Oct 2, 2011

It feels so good to be so bad.....at posting.

Dude McAwesome posted:

Can’t wait for the rules mandating that every new building must be a minimum of 200m tall, and that parks need to be ripped up for car parking and apartment buildings.
Or them removing the rules for communal spaces in apartment buildings, got to cram as many one/two bedroom apartments in as you can.

Comstar
Apr 20, 2007

Are you happy now?
As many as 14 Coalition MPs are under a citizenship cloud as the attorney-general says federal politicians must show renunciation documents.

quote:

The citizenship crisis could claim more government MPs after Attorney-General Christian Porter said they had to prove their possible dual citizenships were renounced.

Labor says this puts Treasurer Scott Morrison, Deputy Prime Minister Michael McCormack, and 12 other Coalition MPs in danger.

Mr Morrison's maternal grandfather was born in New Zealand, while Mr McCormack's was born in Greece in 1896.

I would bet that some of them don't have the documentation.

LIVE AMMO COSPLAY
Feb 3, 2006


lol at the neverending cycle of one party owning the other for falling into this hole then falling in themselves.

NTRabbit
Aug 15, 2012

i wear this armour to protect myself from the histrionics of hysterical women

bitches




CrazyTolradi posted:

Or them removing the rules for communal spaces in apartment buildings, got to cram as many one/two bedroom apartments in as you can.

Inflammable cladding for all!

Solemn Sloth
Jul 11, 2015

Baby you can shout at me,
But you can't need my eyes.
Thankfully both building regs (combustible cladding) and planning controls are controlled ultimately by the minister for planning and we currently have a relatively pretty good one (for the next six months).

Also it’s not like a Liberal pro business Lord Mayor is a new thing at all. It is still quite disappointing though.

Anidav
Feb 25, 2010

ahhh fuck its the rats again
Queensland keeps on winning.

lol imagine electing a property developer.

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Anidav
Feb 25, 2010

ahhh fuck its the rats again
Meanwhile inside the head of David Speers

A CABINET minister called this week and I almost couldn’t believe what he was ­saying.

“I’m starting to think we’re actually going to win!”

After trailing in the polls for 20 consecutive months, some in the government are now daring to dream.

To be clear, the government is still behind in the polls. But the gap is closing and there are enough green shoots to give the Coalition hope.

The Budget has gone down reasonably well. The dual citizenship saga is now biting Labor on the ­behind. Bill Shorten is now the one trying to navigate a series of policy landmines.

And above all, the Liberals’ ceaseless infighting has died down. At least for now.

Six weeks ago John Howard warned Liberal MPs they had a “collective responsibility” to get their act together.

Five weeks ago Energy Minister Josh Frydenberg was blunt when asked about the latest Tony Abbott provocation.

“He’s always going to try to cut across what the Prime Minister’s been saying,” he said.

Whatever the reason, Abbott and his Monash Forum colleagues have gone relatively quiet since then.

The former PM still disagrees with the government’s position on coal, immigration, school funding and so on, but he’s not making as much noise and he’s not picking any new fights.

Perhaps there’s a collective realisation that Malcolm Turnbull will lead the Coalition to the election, that he might have a chance of winning and that this may indeed be preferable to a bloody, acrimonious defeat, followed by a period of “cleansing” in ­opposition.

Recent history would suggest Turnbull shouldn’t get too excited about six weeks of harmony. Chaos is only as far away as the next travel rort, sex scandal or policy blunder.

Indeed, some of the fractious preselection battles now under way risk spiralling into something worse.

For now though, it’s entirely understandable that the war-weary Liberals are clutching to a ray of ­optimism.

or Bill Shorten, the looming by-elections are only the start of his headaches.

The internal policy challenges are starting to mount ahead of the Labor Party Conference in late July.

Union leaders, buoyed by this week’s court victory for CFMEU boss John Setka, are muscling up.

They’re demanding Labor weaken industrial relations laws. They want to make it easier for union officials to enter worksites and call strikes. Setka himself is openly boasting about his willingness to break “bad” laws.

But his most damaging comment was an attack on the Rudd-Gillard government. Setka told The Australian Labor achieved “nothing” for workers during its five years in office.

Guess who was Workplace Relations Minister for most of that time?

Bill Shorten.

Yet there was no response from Shorten yesterday on this point. Not even a tweet. Some within Labor were staggered the leader wouldn’t defend his or the party’s record in helping workers.

This was hardly a strong ­response from someone accused of being beholden to the CFMEU.

The Labor Conference will also feature another emotional debate over asylum seekers.

The Left wants a more humanitarian approach. They don’t want refugees stuck on Manus Island and Nauru for another five years.

Labor insiders are confident this will be settled before it hits the conference floor.

They’re more worried about a ­potential conference brawl over whether Australia should recognise Palestinian statehood. This is an issue that pits the pro-Israeli Victorian Right (of which Shorten is a part) against the pro-Palestinian NSW Right and the Left.

All of these issues will test Shorten. He’s beaten expectations for nearly five years as Opposition Leader and led a mostly united caucus.

But if Labor loses a seat in the coming by-elections or drops behind in Newspoll, that will count for little in the cold calculation of who can best lead the party back into government.

The shift in momentum has some speculating Turnbull will race off to the Lodge and call an election. This is far-fetched.

When the Prime Minister says the election will be next year, he means it.

He wants to prove this Parliament can run its full course, despite his one-seat majority and difficult Senate crossbench.

He wants to present some semblance of stable government after a decade of political turmoil.

Most importantly, he wants the economic recovery to continue.

This week the Coalition achieved the one million new jobs it promised when it first came to office. That’s no mean feat.

But for those already in work, there’s been little to celebrate.

Wages are only just keeping up with the cost of living. Turnbull needs workers to see some economic ­improvement in their own lives ­before he heads to the polls.

Another Cabinet minister, who’s been around longer than most, says he doesn’t sit on the rollercoaster many of his colleagues ride. He’s not getting carried away by the government’s improved fortunes and insists it’s another long year before the election is held.

David Speers is Sky News’ political editor.

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