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I'll never play dorf fortress but I absolutely love reading about it because of the crazy emergent poo poo like PTSD dwarves and cats dying of alcohol poisoning E: oh and wasn't there something like land-roving undead carp ravaging the countryside at some point? lmao Son of Thunderbeast has a new favorite as of 07:21 on May 27, 2018 |
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May 27, 2018 07:18
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Son of Thunderbeast posted:E: oh and wasn't there something like land-roving undead carp ravaging the countryside at some point? lmao Swimming for a long time gives extra strength to anyone - dwarves, humans, animals, monsters, etc. Carp, swimming all their lives, end up pretty buff. You wouldn't notice it because they're obviously unable to breathe outside of the water, and aren't aggressive. Except there are some cursed biomes where anything that dies comes back as undead. So now you have evil-aligned aggressive carp that don't need to breathe, and their maxed-out strength lets them crawl onto land by the sheer force of their jaws alone, looking for new victims. Even a single fish dying of natural causes could rapidly escalate into a localised zombie apocalypse. In the words of the dev, "I think I made carp too hardcore."
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May 27, 2018 12:09
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Double Punctuation posted:Wow. Dead elves make for nice patterns on that screen. Not that you wouldn’t want to maximize the number of dead elves already. Dwarf Fortress is set in the Warhammer Fantasy universe?
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May 27, 2018 12:12
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Son of Thunderbeast posted:I'll never play dorf fortress but I absolutely love reading about it because of the crazy emergent poo poo like PTSD dwarves and cats dying of alcohol poisoning Yeah, there were a lot of problems with the balance of wildlife and undead, and undead carp were some of the worst offenders in either category. There's the aforementioned notion that it used to be that any skill could give a unit stat buffs, including swimming, and fish for some reason exercised swimming skill so any persistent fish unit could get hella buff (which is a quirk I hadn't recalled). There's also the fact that bite attacks were at one time hellaciously unbalanced; I think that they were using the material strength of apatite and the strength of the attacker without regard to the fact that teeth are small, imperfect weapons inside of a mouth instead of being like a giant ivory polearm, so you'd routinely get bite attacks tearing off limbs of larger creatures and such. Carp also had slightly buff stats to begin with, to reflect their status as hellfish. All of this was made much, much worse if the carp became undead; undead things don't need to breathe, so yes, undead aquatic creatures would happily struggle onto land and flop after the living. Undead were EXTREMELY hardy for a long portion of the game's life, too; blunt damage and piercing damage were mostly useless in destroying undead, because you had to hack them apart, with decapitation being (usually) treated as an instant kill. So these mega carp with hellteeth would come flopping and wiggling up from the depths in search of the blood of the living, which they would reap in spades thanks to their small freakish teeth capable of severing a man's arm in a single bite. This whole balance problem lead to other issues as well. Most famous is that elephants, prevalent in the game's earliest builds, were appropriately terrifying combat monsters due to their massive size, but they could still fit into dwarven tunnels or stack infinitely into a cubic meter of space. A fun lesser known example is the undead sponge. Occasionally, the same conditions that could lead to a fort being infested with hardy undead carp could also generate undead sponges. This leads to a problem. The sponge, being relatively slow and sessile and possessing no limbs, was not an especially dangerous combatant. Possessed with the mighty ability to inch onto land, sponges mostly just terrified dwarves into uselessness, and your military would happily leap in to begin combat with the threat. However, remember how I said undead needed to be hacked apart, and sponges have no limbs? That's right. For a while, undead sponges were completely immortal. Just these...cthonic heaps of undying flesh that were vaguely threatening and couldn't be hammered or axed or sworded for poo poo. I suppose you could use a Dwarven Atom Smasher (A drawbridge happily makes anything under it cease to exist), but that would require the presence of mind to set one up beforehand, because your dwarves would put on their best Ernest T. Judd and flee in terror from these horrible creeping sponges otherwise. Dwarf Fortress is just an endless well of glitches and unintended behavior. I'm pretty sure it's still possible to this day to puncture the center of the world and mine the impossibly dense osmium-like unobtanium there, it's just such an unbelievable pain in the rear end that almost no one bothers to. Also there's the fact that while dwarves can, for some reason, safely pick up this material, every boulder weighs several hundred tons, so it kind of takes them a while to haul it anywhere. I wonder how much wooden wheelbarrows would help with that now, actually. Hmm. Ah, another good unintended behavior glitch: the minecart artillery cannon. A type of defense system was once conceived where you'd load a minecart with junk, roll it down a long incline, and have it launched against an arrow-slit fortification on the side of a specially-prepared tunnel. The contents would fly through the arrow-slit, shotgun across the tunnel, and fall out of the arrow slits on the other side for easy retrieval. Something about the physics of this arrangement were changed at some point to make it infeasible to make a constantly-exploding tunnel made of ballistic boulder shrapnel, but I'm pretty sure you can still just launch minecarts at motherfuckers for a similar effect, albeit less powerful and automated.
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May 27, 2018 13:06
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When I get the urge to DF a bit, if I start a map and it has a Giant Sponge on it I instantly restart because it's that ingrained in my dumb lizard brain that bad things are going to happen very soon.
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May 27, 2018 13:55
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Facebook Aunt posted:Less funny when I noticed I hadn't gotten a trade caravan in over a year. I kept getting the announcement that they'd arrived but they'd never make it to the depot. The heaps of corpses freaked 'em out. Sometimes they got so upset that the wagons . . . exploded? Just three logs of wagon wood and a bunch of trade goods on the ground. Is THAT how that happens? I've had a couple cases of self-scuttling wagons when the caravan got startled and I had no idea what was going on. For those who don't already know, wagons in DF are the only moving object that takes up more than 1 tile (they're 3x3, being pulled by 2 draft animals). They are coded into the game as animals. This has a few interesting implications. One, they can be "scuttled," producing 3 logs of wagon wood as a kind of butcher yield. Two, once they've been scuttled, you can memorialize them by carving a slab in their honor. It is not known whether they will haunt your fort if you neglect this task. Three, it's possible to make them a player race by modding the game and play as a wagon in adventure mode. If you try to move at all, you will instantly scuttle yourself, presumably because you haven't been pulled by draft animals. I once used full-heal -r to revive a scuttled wagon, and it spawned a one-tile creature with an O icon that simply meandered around the map before eventually leaving. No idea what's up with that, but I play a lot of mods, so that might have something to do with it.
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May 27, 2018 15:47
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I wonder if it's feasible to mod in a wagon civ that doesn't need to be drawn by animals and can send wagon merchants with wagon guards escorting wagon workers full of goods. e: and become angry with your civ when a wagon diplomat having a drink in your bar gets startled by a passing bonobo and instantly explodes
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May 27, 2018 16:09
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Angry Diplomat posted:I wonder if it's feasible to mod in a wagon civ that doesn't need to be drawn by animals and can send wagon merchants with wagon guards escorting wagon workers full of goods. An angry diplomat, as it were.
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May 27, 2018 17:09
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Shady Amish Terror posted:A fun lesser known example is the undead sponge. Occasionally, the same conditions that could lead to a fort being infested with hardy undead carp could also generate undead sponges. This leads to a problem. The sponge, being relatively slow and sessile and possessing no limbs, was not an especially dangerous combatant. Possessed with the mighty ability to inch onto land, sponges mostly just terrified dwarves into uselessness, and your military would happily leap in to begin combat with the threat. However, remember how I said undead needed to be hacked apart, and sponges have no limbs? That's right. For a while, undead sponges were completely immortal. Just these...cthonic heaps of undying flesh that were vaguely threatening and couldn't be hammered or axed or sworded for poo poo. I suppose you could use a Dwarven Atom Smasher (A drawbridge happily makes anything under it cease to exist), but that would require the presence of mind to set one up beforehand, because your dwarves would put on their best Ernest T. Judd and flee in terror from these horrible creeping sponges otherwise. The fun thing about giant sponges was that they were designed to be completely immobile and to never do anything, and they were never supposed to attack, but if you threatened one it had the same chance of entering a combat rage as any other animal. This would cause it to charge towards the offender somehow and use the default no-limb attack "push", the damage of which was purely based on mass and would murder whoever it hit because giant sponges were enormous. This lead to the immortal quote: "Without a nervous system, all it can feel is anger." I also remember that at one point giant sponges were accidentally made sentient, and someone loving around in adventure mode found two giant sponges sitting about a foot apart who absolutely hated each other and were locked in an endless screaming argument.
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May 27, 2018 18:55
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T2SINs8e6sQ Dwarf Fortress is a beautiful game.
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May 27, 2018 20:03
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I recall someone ended up starting on a map where something did not calculate right and they basically had a giant mountain of Adamantine Spire - which is normally a highly valuable and very useful material you have to dig deeply for and risk unleashing FUN.
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May 27, 2018 21:24
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Destiny 2 used to have a big problem on PC where launchpads would smash your face in when used at over 60 fps. The problem has theoretically patched since, but since it's Bungie, sometimes they still decide to murder you, giving you some great slapstick comedy. https://i.imgur.com/zFxXyMQ.mp4
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May 27, 2018 21:44
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Brofessor Slayton posted:Swimming for a long time gives extra strength to anyone - dwarves, humans, animals, monsters, etc. Carp, swimming all their lives, end up pretty buff. You wouldn't notice it because they're obviously unable to breathe outside of the water, and aren't aggressive. They aren't anymore, and also aquatic animals do not use the Swimming skill at all anymore so they don't get super buff from leveling the poo poo out of it.
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May 27, 2018 23:16
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Zereth posted:that's been leveling the Swimming skill its entire life. Does this mean that if someone were to force their dwarves to swim to get everywhere outside of their room they would eventually get a colony of hulk-dwarves?
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May 27, 2018 23:34
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My favorite DF "glitch" is the Quantum Stockpile. Basically you designate a single tile as a dumping ground, which is supposed to be where you put useless stuff you'll never use and don't want cluttering up your fortress, and then start designated objects to be dumped. Your dwarfs will dutifully haul the objects into the dumping zone. And they'll keep cramming stuff into the single square no matter what. Thousands of tons of stone, hundreds of pounds of food, scores of barrels and bins and whatever your heart desires. Even an entire mountaintop all crammed into one cubic meter. Then, you designated that tile as Reclaimed, and your dwarfs will be able to happily pluck out whatever object they want from the infinite pile without issue. I like to imagine it as just a big vibrating mass of everything that looks ready to explode at any moment, and the dwarfs know how to approach it juuuuust right to get what they want without destroying reality.
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May 27, 2018 23:38
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SugarAddict posted:Does this mean that if someone were to force their dwarves to swim to get everywhere outside of their room they would eventually get a colony of hulk-dwarves? Who What Now posted:My favorite DF "glitch" is the Quantum Stockpile. Basically you designate a single tile as a dumping ground, which is supposed to be where you put useless stuff you'll never use and don't want cluttering up your fortress, and then start designated objects to be dumped. Your dwarfs will dutifully haul the objects into the dumping zone. And they'll keep cramming stuff into the single square no matter what. Thousands of tons of stone, hundreds of pounds of food, scores of barrels and bins and whatever your heart desires. Even an entire mountaintop all crammed into one cubic meter. Then, you designated that tile as Reclaimed, and your dwarfs will be able to happily pluck out whatever object they want from the infinite pile without issue. Doesn't work with stuff like booze which has to be stored in barrels, though.
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May 27, 2018 23:42
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Fathis Munk posted:Destiny 2 used to have a big problem on PC where launchpads would smash your face in when used at over 60 fps. The problem has theoretically patched since, but since it's Bungie, sometimes they still decide to murder you, giving you some great slapstick comedy. That specific launch pad is great. I love going through it, having my whole team forget to double jump before we land and just instantly wipe because we explode the moment we touch down. Or sometimes it just launches you to the far end of the cave at terminal velocity. Or the barrier doesn't go down and you all just smash into it. The absolute best, however, are the times when the launch pads poo poo themselves all together and just explode your guy the second you step into them and no one knows why. Oh and there's also the weird weird things you can do with momentum and velocity by pulling out your sparrow mid-air.
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May 27, 2018 23:46
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SugarAddict posted:Does this mean that if someone were to force their dwarves to swim to get everywhere outside of their room they would eventually get a colony of hulk-dwarves? Yes, but. There's always a but. Dwarfs won't willingly enter water more than 2 deep. In order to swim water has to be at least 4 deep. Any dwarf can tread water that is 4 deep, but water 5-7 deep will quickly drown dwarfs that aren't already skilled swimmers. While swimming dwarfs will not work, eat, or drink, and sleeping will kill them. So you can't just put a swimming pool between the bedrooms and dining room, because they'll never willingly enter. They will sit in their rooms and starve. You can build a swimming training center, but it's a pain in the rear end. You can't just push them into a pool of 4 deep water, because an unskilled swimmer falling into water is stunned. You need to lock them in a room and then raise the water level to 4. Then you need to watch them, because if one becomes exhausted he can still drown even water that's only 4. When you see the trainees getting tired you need to drain the water down to 2 so they can rest. Eat, sleep, drink, etc. If you don't want them to go insane you let them out of the training center so they can go enjoy their nice dining room and bedrooms and do some useful work for a while to improve their mood. Might be wrong on some of that, I haven't tried it in years. I accidentally drowned so many poor dwarfs. 
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May 28, 2018 00:09
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There's also the Dwarf Fort Danger Room™, where you fill a room with spike traps armed with wooden training spears. Each tile has ten spears, so standing on it when it's activated is the equivalent of being attacked ten times. If you put dwarves in metal plate armor and put them in a room filled with these, the spears will (usually) bounce harmlessly off of them and give them fighting experience as they attempt to dodge, block, and party each spear. And since you can activate the traps with a lever, and dwarfs can pull levers very quickly, you'll quickly cram a lifetime of battle into ten minutes, giving you a squad of legendary soldiers ready to fight off an invasion that just arrived. Just make sure that none of your dwarfs have a baby or pets following them, because those will be vaporized
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May 28, 2018 00:10
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Who What Now posted:There's also the Dwarf Fort Danger Room™, where you fill a room with spike traps armed with wooden training spears. Each tile has ten spears, so standing on it when it's activated is the equivalent of being attacked ten times. If you put dwarves in metal plate armor and put them in a room filled with these, the spears will (usually) bounce harmlessly off of them and give them fighting experience as they attempt to dodge, block, and party each spear. And since you can activate the traps with a lever, and dwarfs can pull levers very quickly, you'll quickly cram a lifetime of battle into ten minutes, giving you a squad of legendary soldiers ready to fight off an invasion that just arrived. Sadly, now weapons and armor(when in battle) gain damage points and can be worn down. A danger room is no longer really feasible. Also, someone touched on elephants earlier, but the thing with them was that they're all huge animals, so they were basically impossible to kill(something about the thickness or armor rating of the skin being tied to the animal's size), and they had a bug where, if you aggro'd one, suddenly literally every elephant that ever existed was aggro'd against you. So elephants would swarm your hunting party and turn your entire fort into a fine red paste, forever. There was also a bug for a while where if your fort was besieged by goblins, and there happened to be any bears on the map, specifically bears, they would instantly join the invading army as a general. I just liked to imagine the goblins showing up, and general Bearislav comes sauntering up to the war party. "My reconnaissance was successful. I know their week points. I will lead the charge."
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May 28, 2018 01:12
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Who What Now posted:There's also the Dwarf Fort Danger Room™, where you fill a room with spike traps armed with wooden training spears. Each tile has ten spears, so standing on it when it's activated is the equivalent of being attacked ten times. If you put dwarves in metal plate armor and put them in a room filled with these, the spears will (usually) bounce harmlessly off of them and give them fighting experience as they attempt to dodge, block, and party each spear. And since you can activate the traps with a lever, and dwarfs can pull levers very quickly, you'll quickly cram a lifetime of battle into ten minutes, giving you a squad of legendary soldiers ready to fight off an invasion that just arrived. There was also the advanced version of this, the Shaft of Enlightenment. Basically, you throw someone down a pit with an upright spear at the bottom to impale them. Most of the people that you throw down will hit the spear and die. However, occasionally, someone will dodge the spear, and instantly become the greatest warrior who ever lived because their dodge stat will become superhuman. Discovered when someone set up a spear pit to execute goblin prisoners and one of the random goblins he threw in instantly became a legendary goblin swordmaster, clawed his way out of the pit, fought his way out of the fort and disappeared into the woods.
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May 28, 2018 01:18
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what even is dwarf fortress
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May 28, 2018 05:59
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Ben Carsons Ghost posted:what even is dwarf fortress proof that video games are art I will never play the game but the stories coming from it are just so good 
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May 28, 2018 06:01
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I've tried playing on and off over the years. I just see the matrix every time.
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May 28, 2018 06:10
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Is there just a repository of dwarf fortress stories because tbh those are better than the rest of this thread
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May 28, 2018 10:23
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cj2J6DWPSqk https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hnvDgqcmtJU
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May 28, 2018 11:05
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You should look up Boatmurdered somewhere. Also out of Dwarf Frotress, I think it was last year (out of a what, 8+ lifecycle) when someone did the math and realized that Dwarves were only a few inches tall. And everything else was realistically proportioned, but only the Dwarves were so tiny. It's been patched, but for me the best part is that someone calculated that based on... the amout of blood a Dwarf had.
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May 28, 2018 11:07
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Ben Carsons Ghost posted:what even is dwarf fortress a glitch in the matrix wherein an imperfect copy of the matrix exists Kikas posted:You should look up Boatmurdered somewhere. Also, dwarves' heads being a tiny pin on top of a regularly-proportioned body. Or when there was a bug that made geese lay iron thrones instead of eggs.
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May 28, 2018 11:12
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The Shaft of Enlightenment was really good, though apparently no one ever quite got their heads around how it worked. You could dodge the spike, you could parry the spike with your weapon and get a shitload of weapon experience, you could block the spike with a shield and become a legendary++ blocker, but if it hit your armor, you'd live, but wouldn't get any armor user experience. Another great set of bugs happened years ago way back when Toady was tweaking worldgen and material properties early into the 3d release (the current version of the game where you can access multiple z-levels). There were...PROBLEMS. In one internal build, blood boiled at a very low temperature, resulting in everyone internally boiling to death shortly after embark. In another, skin was made water-soluble (or SOMETHING) and washed away with contact with water, to the agony of the unit. In a build that I think actually went public briefly, rain was right at boiling temperature in hot climate zones and so would scald to death anything caught outside in a rainstorm. There's a surprisingly large number of small mundane bugs that haven't been fixed for years, presumably on the basis of being a soft cheat-mode for parts of the game and, well, it's Dwarf Fortress, who cares if you choose to cheat. You can generate free metal by melting down certain items after forging them because they return a bit more than they cost to make. You can generate excess free power by running a water wheel using a screwpump powered by that water wheel. And you can get a few free storage containers on every embark by ordering small amounts of multiple different kinds of incompatible food products, which means the game will put them in separate bags and barrels. And the game of course gets lots of mundane, frustrating bugs that aren't as hilarious. Like the fact that for a long time military units were inconsistent assholes about picking up their armor and you'd end up with a squad of dwarves wearing random parts of about half of their uniform and one guy dressed in nothing but two cloaks. Dwarves who have cleaning labor refusing to clean, dwarves with animal care labor refusing to feed animals. Lots and lots and LOTS of random resource-murdering bugs (designating large job areas, animals getting stuck behind locked doors and choosing to spam new pathfinding attempts every available tick instead of doing something else, items that got destroyed by Dwarven Atom Smashers weren't getting deleted clogging up memory with garbage). But then the game turns around and gives you bugs like the Loyalty Cascade, which is also known as the Rage Virus. If a monster kills a member of your civilization, your civ develops hostility towards that monster; makes plenty of sense. Same with a member of a different civilization. But what happens when it's a member of your OWN civilization? A fortress can succumb very quickly to a Loyalty Cascade, and it's not immediately obvious how they work. Basically, if one civ member kills another, members of the civilization may become hostile to that unit. So if a military dwarf accidentally kills his buddy, the rest of his squad may become hostile to him. Then they murder him, but because they've now attacked a member of their own civilization, THEY'RE enemies of the civilization they belong to, too. This can quickly spiral out into a massive civil war. Quarantining units USUALLY protected them from the effects, as long as they never encountered the 'infected' dwarves. Babies can also be carriers of the Rage Virus if they witness this violence, and lie in wait until they're old enough to start a fight and renew the loyalty cascade. Toady called this the 'civil war bug', and it seems like it'll keep on trucking until one faction has completely wiped out the other. E: Just remembered, I think it's even more complicated than it looks because dwarves will end up factionalizing in a non-obvious way that can result in non-hostile carriers that then cause hostile rebels to occur when they interact with uninfected dwarves. Loyalty cascades seem to be very rare now, but I believe they can still occur. E2: And, haha, from the wiki on the matter: http://dwarffortresswiki.org/index.php/DF2014:Faction#Loyalty_cascade posted:NOTE: Tame Animals are loyal to civilizations and fortresses indefinitely due to a bug, so they can be used to kill off separatists/loyalists without repercussions. Shady Amish Terror has a new favorite as of 13:50 on May 28, 2018 |
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May 28, 2018 13:45
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Kikas posted:You should look up Boatmurdered somewhere. Worldgen Dwarves were fine, however if you were in fortress mode only dwarves born on January First would grow up
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May 28, 2018 23:48
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4nxsCZ2SEcQ The sims 3 is actually a great game, who knew
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May 29, 2018 21:26
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The Sims 3 is actually the best Sims game. 4 is garbage and 2 was lackluster.
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May 29, 2018 23:30
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Nuebot posted:Oh and there's also the weird weird things you can do with momentum and velocity by pulling out your sparrow mid-air. You were not lying https://i.imgur.com/VTqMbJI.gifv
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May 31, 2018 13:01
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state of decay 2 is super fun but it's still a little rough https://i.imgur.com/ZoRAA7W.gifv https://i.imgur.com/U0UE9Ll.gifv https://i.imgur.com/KZUVC7R.gifv https://i.imgur.com/kerRv5N.gifv https://i.imgur.com/HIg983R.gifv
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May 31, 2018 13:35
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moist turtleneck posted:state of decay 2 is super fun but it's still a little rough
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May 31, 2018 14:12
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In today's issue of Karnaca Gazette: Is whale blood making our streets too slippery? https://giant.gfycat.com/ImpossibleFormalItalianbrownbear.webm
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May 31, 2018 20:46
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This one is less funny and more really cool. In Super Mario Oddyssey, there used to be a glitch where if you captured a goomba stack while it was overlapping a Life-Up Heart, time would freeze. What’s especially strange about it is that it works in the coolest way possible, to the point that if it didn’t make progress impossible you might think it was a game mechanic. You can run around the frozen world, past perfectly still enemies and NPCs, and even run across lava. https://youtu.be/k-6oKA_qgto
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Jun 1, 2018 00:47
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Destiny jumpcannons continue to be unreliable, this one shot me straight off the map and then trapped a raid buddy inside. https://i.imgur.com/YcF0Cao.mp4
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Jun 8, 2018 22:23
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Maybe depending on cannons for transport isn't the best idea, but I guess it doesn't matter as much when in-universe you're immortal.
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Jun 8, 2018 22:47
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Destiny is a dangerous world, many things shoot you to strange places tbh https://giant.gfycat.com/ElatedFavoriteGraysquirrel.webm E: help, how to timg this.
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Jun 8, 2018 22:52
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