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It's a largely sexless fantasy world where one of the characters has a super power that enables her to tell what other people are feeling just by looking at them. Oh, and also a two year old gets boned.
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May 31, 2018 02:40
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And Potatoes gets a 12 year old wife
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May 31, 2018 02:42
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The General posted:
 , I think...
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May 31, 2018 03:25
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Quark getting his bar rebuilt after it got seized is the most  thing ever. I only wish I could scam, cheat and rob people, commit unethical labor violations and just in general prey upon those I can through cool crimes as much as he does and still have lots of friends.  He has a real emotion for the first time at the end that grounds part of his federation acclimatisation in the value of other people as more than suckas... and then kinda ruins it by expanding his definition of asset to include the people around him though which through a ferengi mindset is not gonna be human-compatible. Very interesting episode to see that he got a money-boner over the chance of being rich-post death though, I guess greed is very much eternal for them.
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May 31, 2018 07:43
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All the ferengi on ds9 are really good
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May 31, 2018 07:47
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I stumbled onto Memory Beta the "non-canon" Memory Alpha where they describe what happened in all of the books and this poo poo is as bad as the Star Wars EU. Apparently Worf loses a third wife on a mission to a factory Lore built that manufactures Datas. Lore was apparently going to give all of the borg Data bodies. Luckily Noonien Singh never actually died and just transferred his consciousness into a spare Data and helps them out on the mission, bringing Data back to life. This was somehow related to the fact that 7,000 borg cubes showed up and Picard couldn't shoot enough torpedos at them so he summoned some dues ex machina aliens from a nebula that instantly defeated all borg everywhere. Apparently Bashir resurrected Kirk and helped him and Bones destroy the Borg, offscreen in season two of DS9 during his free time apparently. He also breaks up with Ezri after she turns into Jadzia in bed mid-gently caress and freaks him out. Later he is made retarded by space rays that undo all of his genetic enhancements. He gets a new wife after DS9 blows up but she gets brainwashed by S31 and kills herself which makes Bashir go catatonic. Garak takes the now mute and Bashir into his house to care for him and feed him. I'm afraid to look up any of these other characters since they don't seem to make many new ones and rely heavily on anyone with a name in the TV shows. Even Mister Magoo Admiral Paris is involved in S31 intrigue post-ds9 apparently.
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May 31, 2018 11:05
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I only ever read one star trek book and basically it was all about Riker who gets stranded on some snow planet for some reason and is forced to survive in harsh climate against vicious monsters while the enterprise struggles to find a way to get him back. Honestly if it wasn't for the fact it would require a large budget it would have made a really good TNG episode.
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May 31, 2018 11:10
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The only Star Trek book I ever read was either written by a Chekov fanboy or by Walter Koenig himself. It was 100% about how badass and cool Chekov is while dealing with a spy situation and the dramatic climax of the book was Chekov pulling off the "Kirk roll" he had been practicing in front of a mirror, where you throw your gun down to lure the badguy into a false sense of security but perfectly roll over it and come up firing as only Captain Kirk can.
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May 31, 2018 11:59
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Actually realised I still own the book. Having read the blurb Riker is sent on temporary assignment to get a terroforming effort back on track, but his replacement is an arsehole. There's also a secret on the planet that I can't remember. All in all though, nothing too cringe. 
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May 31, 2018 12:40
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That said I just read the first ten pages or so and writing quality is terrible. Concept seems sound though.
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May 31, 2018 12:45
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Kitchner posted:That said I just read the first ten pages or so and writing quality is terrible. Concept seems sound though. I remember that book from my childhood. Riker's replacement is a disturbed psychopath who does all kinds of crazy stuff, but it's all technically within the rules so Picard can't do poo poo. lol
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May 31, 2018 12:54
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Just watched the finale of s2 and 1st ep of s3 of Enterprise and holy hell it has turned into NCIS: Enterprise or something Is it just a phase?
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May 31, 2018 13:01
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I was disappointed when I learned the officer exchange program doesn't have a Klingon first officer on the Enterprise. Best Klingon bit is where Worf makes one of his deadpan jokes and is surprised when Martok laughs his ridges off.
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May 31, 2018 13:43
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FabioClone posted:I remember that book from my childhood. Riker's replacement is a disturbed psychopath who does all kinds of crazy stuff, but it's all technically within the rules so Picard can't do poo poo. lol Yeah, the opening scene is him sitting in ten forward drinking his own drink from his own glass while his old captain is a beta cuck who is being ignored by him. He just blatantly sits there ignoring the Captain's orders until he finally orders security to take him to the brig. The dude says he'll go to sickbay instead because it's more comfortable, and the Captain says he can't go because he's not sick. So the guy crushes the glass, which is real glass because it's his, in his hand, and makes it dripping with blood and just goes "I am now". If he had done that to Picard he'd have been sent to the Brig and the doctor would have seen to his wounds in the brig. He then would have stayed there for the entire journey until he could face court martial. EDIT: lol check out the memory beta choice cuts: "The government on Ianni wished to join the Federation. Even though they had a reputation for barbarism, the Federation accepted their application due to Ianni's proximity to the neutral zone. Stone led the away team to the planet that would oversee this procedures. On the way there, a coup occurred, and a new government took over. The new government still wanted to join the Federation, but Stone had to watch while they used a spiked whip to torture and kill every member of the previous ruling family, including one pregnant woman where they actually killed the woman, delivered the baby by Cesarean Section, and then killed the baby. Stone could not interfere due to the Prime Directive, and was actually given the whip as a gift. Soon thereafter, frustrated and in pain, Stone whipped himself repeatedly giving him a fierce scar on his face and numerous other ones all over his body." (While I did earlier say the Federation leaving a planet to it's fate and feeling guilty about it is a good story, and it is, big gap between "I'm not going to stop you whipping them to death" and "I'm going to stand and watch it , then accept said whip as a gift before recommending your ascension to the Ferderation"). " While the Nimitz was conducting a geological survey in a system, the sun began to deteriorate rendering the transporters useless and the ship in danger. Captain Andrew Borjas decided to move the Nimitz out of the system in order to not jeopardize the rest of the crew, but Stone defied orders to rescue them in a shuttlecraft. Furious over this, Borjas had Stone removed from the vessel. Since Stone had passed all psych profiles and could not be proven insane, Starfleet was forced to keep him in service and thus rotated him to the USS Enterprise in hopes that Jean-Luc Picard would be able to handle him." (I mean, that is like pretty much the bread and butter of Star Trek. Leaves out the "deliberately injure yourself to get to sick bay instead of the brig and be a huge arsehole" though.) "Soon after Stone's posting, the Enterprise proceeded to Culinan, a planet upon which the Federation was overseeing a democratic process and change in power. Unfortunately, the previous leader, Ryne, was not pleased when he lost the election, took the Federation ambassadors hostage, and threatened to kill them if the Federation didn't return him to power. Picard chose Stone to lead the away team to Culinan. Stone was able to get the ambassadors released by basically threatening Ryne with an uncharged phaser, threatening to kill him if they weren't released, regardless of what the guards did to him. The ambassadors were released, and soon thereafter the angry mob outside the palace stormed in and took power, later promising to erect a statue of Stone." If I recall correctly he basically said "Prime Directive means I can't stop you from stringing up this dictator". I think Troi basically falls for him because a) she has a vagina and b) he's all dark and mysterious. Honestly it's pretty poor quality writing, but the concept of a really hosed up and aggressive Starfleet officer who keeps skirting the rules angry at the Prime Directive and other things is a cool concept. Riker's fight for survival on a ice planet is cool. It would have made a good episode. It doesn't require the hosed up dude to literally be into self flagellation (and yet somehow pass a psych evaluation). Kitchner fucked around with this message at 14:00 on May 31, 2018 |
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May 31, 2018 13:53
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This EU stuff really ruins the end of DS9. Odo rejoins the great link for a few years until he finds out they have a creationist myth that a progenitor pooped them all out. They receive a sign that the progenitor has returned and find a giant dead changeling. At the news of this the great link is so sad it gives up and dissipates into thin air, dying. This leaves Odo free to hang out with Kira (as friends) Sisko spends a few months with the prophets but comes back and hangs out with everyone. He tries to get a divorce but it doesn't work and later he shoots down 4 borg cubes almost single handedly. Oh also Janeway becomes the new borg queen.
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May 31, 2018 14:11
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VictorianQueerLit posted:Oh also Janeway becomes the new borg queen. Now that just makes sense.
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May 31, 2018 14:13
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Kitchner posted:Yeah, the opening scene is him sitting in ten forward drinking his own drink from his own glass while his old captain is a beta cuck who is being ignored by him. I didn't remember all that, but it's pretty funny that Troi wants to bang Riker's replacement. Also, further proof that Starfleet's psych evaluations suck. Remember that the only way they test you is to find out your worst fear and spring it on you when you're not expecting it. http://memory-alpha.wikia.com/wiki/Psych_test Explains why there are so many starfleet weirdos and obsessed admirals
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May 31, 2018 14:20
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FabioClone posted:I didn't remember all that, but it's pretty funny that Troi wants to bang Riker's replacement. Also, further proof that Starfleet's psych evaluations suck. Remember that the only way they test you is to find out your worst fear and spring it on you when you're not expecting it. http://memory-alpha.wikia.com/wiki/Psych_test Speaking of that psych test, I would have appreciated a comment in DS9 about how they used to be so extremely selective they were denying perfect candidates because they would only admit one out of 1,000 people and later they are just throwing shipfuls of whoever at the dominion leading to a million starfleet deaths. Someone could have been pissed it took them six years to qualify when they are now taking anyone that can hold a phaser.
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May 31, 2018 14:24
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VictorianQueerLit posted:Speaking of that psych test, I would have appreciated a comment in DS9 about how they used to be so extremely selective they were denying perfect candidates because they would only admit one out of 1,000 people and later they are just throwing shipfuls of whoever at the dominion leading to a million starfleet deaths. Someone could have been pissed it took them six years to qualify when they are now taking anyone that can hold a phaser. And that's how we end up with Nog. Also, RED SQUAD Weirdly enough, I felt that made The Orville's trailer almost a logical follow-up from DS9's ending, where after a brutal war, Starfleet is finding it lot easier to build new ships (and it is implied that the Federation's industrial and scientific capacity is crazy good by galactic superpower standards) than to find qualified officers to command them, so they're willing to give second chances to screw-ups just to get the ships in space. They also do something like that in Star Trek Online, justifying the whole tutorial thing. (though if you roll a TOS-era Fed character, you are implied to have a lot of experience already under your belt)
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May 31, 2018 14:42
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FabioClone posted:I didn't remember all that, but it's pretty funny that Troi wants to bang Riker's replacement. Also, further proof that Starfleet's psych evaluations suck. Remember that the only way they test you is to find out your worst fear and spring it on you when you're not expecting it. http://memory-alpha.wikia.com/wiki/Psych_test lol that "psych test" happens in Room 101. "Hey guys, what room should we do the psych test in?" "Why not room 101? You know, the same room that uses people's worst fears to torture them in that ancient classic novel 1984?" "Oh yeah, good one. Let me finish rewiring this explosive pipe of hot plasma behind this control panel and then I'll join you. I need to be careful because it explodes at a moment's notice".
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May 31, 2018 14:47
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Janeway best queen. Rom is a station engineer now.
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May 31, 2018 14:59
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Worf on Riza is my spirit-autism.
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May 31, 2018 15:25
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having a room that shows your greatest fears is probably a good screening process for starfleet. after all, there is a very large chance that any starfleet personnel will run into some malevolent god-like alien who will show it to them.
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May 31, 2018 15:33
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FabioClone posted:I didn't remember all that, but it's pretty funny that Troi wants to bang Riker's replacement. Also, further proof that Starfleet's psych evaluations suck. Remember that the only way they test you is to find out your worst fear and spring it on you when you're not expecting it. http://memory-alpha.wikia.com/wiki/Psych_test There's got to be a way someone can pull a Kirk Kobayashi Maru on this test. Like someone has to start when they're a young teen and develop a fake fear for years, then get into the Academy and wait for them to try to hit you with it. "My fear is holodecks. Look at documented history. Can you blame me?"
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May 31, 2018 15:37
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gimme the GOD drat candy posted:having a room that shows your greatest fears is probably a good screening process for starfleet. after all, there is a very large chance that any starfleet personnel will run into some malevolent god-like alien who will show it to them. Now that has to mess with some of the weirder forces in the universe a Starfleet captain can encounter; "You made my helmsman's head explode across the console (and my boots), left my tactical officer sobbing and clawing at their skin, and turned the engineering team into rabbits. I do that for fun on a lazy Tuesday evening in the Holodeck, you weird space-god thing. If you're trying to psych me out, it's not working.  "
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May 31, 2018 15:50
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Didn't Troi give Data a psych test when he got possessed by his "grandpa"?
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May 31, 2018 15:50
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If I wasn't on my phone I would dig up that fan fiction where the Empire finds a wormhole into our galaxy and Darth Vader goes ham on the Borg
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May 31, 2018 17:44
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VictorianQueerLit posted:This EU stuff really ruins the end of DS9. That sounds loving awful. Why would Sisko want a divorce with his baby-momma? They had a god drat baby and were planning a cabin on Bajor.
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May 31, 2018 17:50
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tactlessbastard posted:If I wasn't on my phone I would dig up that fan fiction where the Empire finds a wormhole into our galaxy and Darth Vader goes ham on the Borg I think I read this except it was set in the new republic so an evil Jaina Solo was going ham on them. Also she force persuaded Picard into raping her. It was really bad.
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May 31, 2018 17:52
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i'm on the third parallel universe episode of ds9 i really love this series so far, someone please tell me that this is the last of this poo poo
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May 31, 2018 17:55
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olives black posted:i'm on the third parallel universe episode of ds9 Two more to go. Though the next one didn't take place in the parallel universe. And the one after that is so batshit it's fun again
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May 31, 2018 18:02
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A.I. Borgland Corp posted:I think I read this except it was set in the new republic so an evil Jaina Solo was going ham on them. Also she force persuaded Picard into raping her. It was really bad. it should go without saying that crossover fan fiction is amazingly godawful
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May 31, 2018 18:14
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gimme the GOD drat candy posted:it should go without saying that crossover fan fiction is amazingly godawful I read a Back to the Future/Ghostbusters one once that was pretty good
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May 31, 2018 18:18
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May 31, 2018 18:19
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May 31, 2018 18:36
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gimme the GOD drat candy posted:having a room that shows your greatest fears is probably a good screening process for starfleet. after all, there is a very large chance that any starfleet personnel will run into some malevolent god-like alien who will show it to them. lol this is both hilarious and absolutely sensible
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May 31, 2018 18:47
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God dammit.
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May 31, 2018 18:48
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VictorianQueerLit posted:The only Star Trek book I ever read was either written by a Chekov fanboy or by Walter Koenig himself. It was 100% about how badass and cool Chekov is while dealing with a spy situation and the dramatic climax of the book was Chekov pulling off the "Kirk roll" he had been practicing in front of a mirror, where you throw your gun down to lure the badguy into a false sense of security but perfectly roll over it and come up firing as only Captain Kirk can. lol i seriously doubt that was written by Koenig, the dude cannot stand William Shatner
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May 31, 2018 18:49
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A.I. Borgland Corp posted:I think I read this except it was set in the new republic so an evil Jaina Solo was going ham on them. Also she force persuaded Picard into raping her. It was really bad. I think you're right, proving once again nostalgia gives false value to our memories edit: it still exists!!! http://www.stardestroyer.net/Empire/Fanfic/Conquest/index.html
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May 31, 2018 21:22
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In Arachnid: "Would you like to know more?" gimme the GOD drat candy posted:having a room that shows your greatest fears is probably a good screening process for starfleet. after all, there is a very large chance that any starfleet personnel will run into some malevolent god-like alien who will show it to them. How awkward would it be if someone's greatest fear was really hosed up or dark? Blazing Ownager fucked around with this message at 21:29 on May 31, 2018 |
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May 31, 2018 21:25
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