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mastershakeman posted:Have him listen to the finest comedy podcasts for training. Specifically, cum town He's been in the car while I had what a time to be alive on, but I haven't let him listen to chapo (he can't learn the truth about Syria) or cumtown (Because I don't want him doing Nick's Chinese voice). Oh god I'm a racist.
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Jun 6, 2018 19:28
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TenementFunster posted:just got the test prep poo poo for the patent bar and lol The key to the patent bar used to be (I took it 10 years ago) doing tons of practice questions and understanding how to search the MPEP. Once I got to the exam, there were many questions (probably about 30+ or half I needed to pass) that I was able to answer, basically without reading them because they were verbatim copied from the practice questions.
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Jun 6, 2018 20:00
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Biglaw $$$ update: Simpson matched Milbank scale (plus issued summer bonuses).
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Jun 6, 2018 20:07
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Yuns posted:I'm in job transition now and am unemployed for a few days before I start my next job. I'm going to be doing the same thing as before. Did you go back in-house or switch to another firm?
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Jun 6, 2018 21:08
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This is my baby. He's the best.
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Jun 6, 2018 21:36
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I retired from my post law, post poker career change and am now moving to a different, warmer island for a fourth career. I switch careers a lot.
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Jun 6, 2018 21:52
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Discendo Vox fucked around with this message at 04:02 on Jul 13, 2021 |
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Jun 6, 2018 22:07
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ActusRhesus posted:How am I supposed to know where you claim to be from? What? Am I supposed to read people’s posts? Also. They have lawyers in Sweden? Oh, you want a fight is that it? Huh? Well I'm a terrible fighter, so there. Now you know.
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Jun 6, 2018 22:08
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HiddenReplaced posted:Did you go back in-house or switch to another firm?
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Jun 6, 2018 22:25
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Vox Nihili posted:(plus issued summer bonuses).  Oh I thought you meant bonuses for summer associates
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Jun 6, 2018 22:41
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Nice piece of fish posted:Oh, you want a fight is that it? Huh? Well I'm a terrible fighter, so there. Now you know. You’re European. Of course you’re a pussy.
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Jun 6, 2018 22:46
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disjoe posted:
Lol nah, cash for all associates at the end of June. $5,000-$25,000 based on class year. Hopefully some sort of bidding war/dick measuring will result from all of this.
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Jun 6, 2018 22:52
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Vox Nihili posted:Lol nah, cash for all associates at the end of June. $5,000-$25,000 based on class year. Hopefully some sort of bidding war/dick measuring will result from all of this. But do you get to make people cry? I feel like no price tag can be put on that level of job satisfaction.
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Jun 6, 2018 22:59
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ActusRhesus posted:But do you get to make people cry? I feel like no price tag can be put on that level of job satisfaction. Fairly often. But it's just the junior associates working for me.
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Jun 6, 2018 23:00
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All I'm willing to say about my life is that I yearn for the cold embrace of the grave. (Every time I think about posting a work story, I envision one of you saying "wait, you're THAT rear end in a top hat?" and recognizing me and I couldn't handle world colliding like that.)
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Jun 6, 2018 23:03
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Yuns posted:I'm a partner and practice head at another biglaw firm now. My new firm is a better fit for my practice. Still sticking with biglaw for now. I think the only things that would tempt me to move would be a significant GC role or Article III federal judiciary (no one is going to ever nominate me for it). Baby I want you to humiliate me. Without giving yourself away, are you profits per partner more than 1m?
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Jun 6, 2018 23:05
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mikeraskol posted:Fairly often. But it's just the junior associates working for me. How many binders are involved? I get the feeling the answer is “a lot”
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Jun 6, 2018 23:41
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Job interview for tomorrow canceled. They would have hired me for it, but I don't have my bar card yet  Couple of private practice places I'm sending off application and cover letter to, but looks more and more likely that I'm taking the $15/hr job. Here’s my cat. He turned into a puddle. 
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Jun 6, 2018 23:41
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Hot Dog Day #91 posted:Baby I want you to humiliate me. Without giving yourself away, are you profits per partner more than 1m? Yuns fucked around with this message at 03:59 on Jun 7, 2018 |
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Jun 6, 2018 23:57
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Vox Nihili posted:Lol nah, cash for all associates at the end of June. $5,000-$25,000 based on class year. Hopefully some sort of bidding war/dick measuring will result from all of this. Of course this hits after I leave biglaw. On the other hand I no longer have to bill my time (and am working nowhere near biglaw hours) sooooo.
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Jun 6, 2018 23:58
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Yuns posted:I'm a partner and practice head at another biglaw firm now. My new firm is a better fit for my practice. Still sticking with biglaw for now. I think the only things that would tempt me to move would be a significant GC role or Article III federal judiciary (no one is going to ever nominate me for it). District court judge is my dream job, and I’m seriously considering applying for a magistrate judge position once I’m eligible. I probably have another 6-8 years before I could apply though. I’m applying for AUSA positions now. Actually a little bummed because my district is hiring 4, and I thought they were hiring for enough positions that I might get an interview. That’s about the only job that could get me to leave my current firm.
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Jun 7, 2018 00:19
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Omerta posted:District court judge is my dream job, and I’m seriously considering applying for a magistrate judge position once I’m eligible. I probably have another 6-8 years before I could apply though.
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Jun 7, 2018 00:29
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ActusRhesus posted:How many binders are involved? I get the feeling the answer is “a lot”  legal assistants make the binders. I just ruin junior associate weekends (and my own).
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Jun 7, 2018 01:22
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AUSA or state court judge seem like basically the best path to A3 judge. But even then you have to butter up a senator.
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Jun 7, 2018 01:35
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mikeraskol posted:
I'll be damned if I'm going to let someone make my trial binders much less a legal assistant. Things have to be perfect and my system is a mix of OCD and neurosis that only I can get correct.
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Jun 7, 2018 02:12
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I prefer to just wing it.
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Jun 7, 2018 02:38
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Discendo Vox fucked around with this message at 04:02 on Jul 13, 2021 |
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Jun 7, 2018 03:38
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I actually looked at the application form for an open magistrate judge position. The way it's very written makes it very clear that law clerks need not apply. "How frequently have you appeared in court?" Well, I'm *in* court 5-10 times a day, every day for the last 4 years. But I suspect that's not what you mean. "How many cases have you tried to conclusion?" We had 13 last year (14 if you count the one with two juries), but you'll think I didn't try them as such. Mostly, I'd just like a spot on the bench (any bench) so I could finally enforce my draconian, "even Scalia and Thomas think's he's too literal" interpretation of the court rules. Alaemon fucked around with this message at 03:57 on Jun 7, 2018 |
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Jun 7, 2018 03:47
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Adar posted:I retired from my post law, post poker career change and am now moving to a different, warmer island for a fourth career. I switch careers a lot. Might as well go to the opposite end of the spectrum and move to Lesbos.
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Jun 7, 2018 03:49
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Omerta posted:District court judge is my dream job, and I’m seriously considering applying for a magistrate judge position once I’m eligible. I probably have another 6-8 years before I could apply though. Can you move? I kept getting hassled by the acting to apply (and I suck), but their pension sucks.
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Jun 7, 2018 05:36
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Re: trial binders. I have an excellent paralegal who makes great binders for hearings. I can just say "these pleadings and exhibits, make a judges binder that includes all cases and statutes" and I'll have it within hours with great tabbing. But then my secretary. She is a second career older hire, not very good with computers who wants to be a paralegal. Because I'm a kind man, I was given the job of training her. She just can't follow explicit directions. "1 copy of each, double sided, 3 hole punched, placed in 3 ring binder and tabbed alphabetically." I'll get like a redwell of stapled documents. Re: money. A Texas website publishes all of the salary data for every state employee (via foia request). It gets hosted about every 18 months. This week the 2017-18 edition dropped and most of the staff is livid. New hires being paid more than their trainers, etc. I found out I'm actually overpaid compared to my class year/experience (the state of Texas does merit based raises). I like salary data being public because it let's you know how much you're valued versus your peers. And I'm only making about 5k more than my class year - a pittance compared to you private folks. But I've had one person already ask how I earn so much more. Any advice how to tactfully address that?
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Jun 7, 2018 06:05
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"git gud, scrub"
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Jun 7, 2018 06:20
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"they pimp my rear end out at conventions to balance the quarterly budget"
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Jun 7, 2018 06:48
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Hot Dog Day #91 posted:Re: trial binders. Texas doesn't just pay lockstep? My salary is non-negotiable (beyond getting promoted to a higher level, but I'm at the highest I can with <10 years), but I'm also in a union, so it goes up ~10% a year, so whatever. Unionize your office is my recommendation. We also get 5 weeks of leave. OTO, I had to make my own binders when I was a real trial lawyer (now I have no binders).
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Jun 7, 2018 07:35
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Discendo Vox fucked around with this message at 04:02 on Jul 13, 2021 |
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Jun 7, 2018 10:57
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nm posted:Texas doesn't just pay lockstep? My salary is non-negotiable (beyond getting promoted to a higher level, but I'm at the highest I can with <10 years), but I'm also in a union, so it goes up ~10% a year, so whatever. No lock step. There are state equivalent of GS levels with brackets within each. So people can get paid within about a 15k range in their level. Applies to almost every state job. The objective me knows that lockstep is best to minimize disparate impact, but the subjective me lies being rewarded for the quality of my work. I'm in a union, Texas state employees union. We can't force dues and we are banned from striking and there's no CBA. I joined anyway in solidarity.
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Jun 7, 2018 12:12
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Florida pay is just published by the state directly. https://www.floridahasarighttoknow.myflorida.com/search_state_payroll
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Jun 7, 2018 12:24
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Alaemon posted:Mostly, I'd just like a spot on the bench (any bench) so I could finally enforce my draconian, "even Scalia and Thomas think's he's too literal" interpretation of the court rules. It’s always refreshing to get a judge that cares whether the parties follow the court rules. But there’s definitely a balance. I’m less of a stickler after a couple years in private practice, especially for courts that have crazy expedited rules (looking at you, ED Va) and for rules that require stupid reports or status updates to the court. But I definitely think courts should be more willing to impose discovery sanctions. The poo poo some people try to pull is ridiculous. nm posted:Can you move? No, my wife is in house and we both love where we live. I don’t think we’d move unless she got a ridiculously good GC offer. And I’m taking another bar in July. After that, no more bar exams.
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Jun 7, 2018 13:52
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I’ve had a few people strongly suggest I throw my name in the hat for judge. But then I’d have to actually work. I’m torn.
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Jun 7, 2018 14:45
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ActusRhesus posted:I’ve had a few people strongly suggest I throw my name in the hat for judge. But then I’d have to actually work. I’m torn. Lol no you wouldn't . I've seen judges take over a year to do unimportant written decisions on simple issues
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Jun 7, 2018 14:46
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