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I like how fart is capitalized. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5J3Jw2xdszQ Kak fucked around with this message at 03:54 on May 25, 2018 |
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May 25, 2018 03:39
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Honky Dong Country posted:This loving rules lmao. Reminds me of moments in CK2 where some batshit crazy event happens like the cadaver synod or the dancing plague and when you look it up you realize it was an actual thing in history. In a CK2 game I once assassinated someone by luring them into a house with fermenting manure in the basement and an accomplice lit the gas and the house exploded so that's like a fart.
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May 25, 2018 04:14
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Honky Dong Country posted:E: The Something Awful Forums > Main > GBS: My Lord, I had forgott the Fart
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May 25, 2018 06:40
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I spent the day eating grilled lamb, bratwurst with mustard and drinking scottish ales. After a nap, I went for taco bell. This may be the worst I've ever smelled.
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May 28, 2018 03:13
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I had my friends wedding and it was a mixed Armenian/ Philipino crowd. So the food was something else I did confirm my dyson air purifier works great though , as I was lying in bed cracking off these hot dry rumblers all morning The fan is on auto and suddenly turns on at 3x then 6 then 10 full blast I giggled like a 5 year old
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May 28, 2018 04:39
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Blue On Blue posted:I had my friends wedding and it was a mixed Armenian/ Philipino crowd. So the food was something else Nice! The wedding food part reminded me of a time I was at a wedding held at the Mexican embassy: lots of spicy food, and open bar with endless beer and margaritas. And the dance floor was tiny and walked in on three sides. A recipe for disaster; someone was ripping off horrendously foul SBDs during dancing. Some of photographs, you could see points when the phantom farter struck again: guests walking off the dance floor, people’s faces recoiling in disgust as the stench reached them, a few still blissfully unaware... We never found out who it was... E: I’m moving and getting rid of my old leather furniture. Think tomorrow I’m gonna buy a few cheap frozen bean burritos, sit in my underwear, and rip rear end on my couch one last glorious time. LadyPictureShow fucked around with this message at 05:16 on May 28, 2018 |
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May 28, 2018 05:11
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Kak posted:I like how fart is capitalized. This is great.
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May 28, 2018 20:08
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Was reading this thread when I heard a loud sphinctal sputtering not my own. Turns out the cat was doing a loud diahrea in his box while I read the fart thread. Uncanny.
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May 28, 2018 23:16
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When you're looking at the forum And your cat has no decorum Diarrhoea Diarrhoea If there's dairy in his belly Lactose intolerance makes smelly Diarrhoea Diarrhoea I gave my cat raw chicken For her teeth but she was shittin Diarrhoea Diarrhoea Almost anything can cause it A cowpat-like waste deposit Diarrhoea Diarrhoea Ensure that litter's clumping For that day your kitty's trumping Diarrhoea Diarrhoea
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May 29, 2018 05:46
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I don't know the story on this but holy poo poo, the way this sounds. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OXwo7GbRXyU&t=144s
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Jun 2, 2018 00:53
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Couple goals 😍😍
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Jun 2, 2018 06:54
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Sitting in bed with girlfriend watching a movie She's sitting on the edge of the bed on top of the covers so I take the chance to silently let loose under the blanket Not one second later, without any provocation, she dives into bed and swoops the blanket over her head I just sit there mortified, afraid to make a move or say a word lest I give myself away, praying the whole time that fart was inert She stayed under for a full minute, so that probably means it didn't stink, and I'm not going to consider the alternative.
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Jun 3, 2018 17:24
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Sometimes, while at work, I'll try and crack off the timing of a bowlpoot right when someone exits the men's room and the door is still open. This way folks in the hallway know whats up I silenced two engineers chatting at the urinals one time with one. I eat a lot of fiber.
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Jun 3, 2018 18:08
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I ate half of a family sized pre made lasagna the other night, and then the gf came over I decided we should play some racquetball, which is done in an enclosed court As referenced below Suffice to say the air duct is WAY up at the top of the court, so she was trapped in a glass box with my farts for a good 20 minutes The ultimate dutch oven 
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Jun 3, 2018 19:03
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Finally! someone we can all strive to be https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DUN-fLClY3o
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Jun 5, 2018 19:28
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Blue On Blue posted:I ate half of a family sized pre made lasagna the other night, and then the gf came over You glorious bastard, you.
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Jun 5, 2018 19:55
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My wife works for the courts, and one of the sitting judges recently passed away. We went to the viewing at the funeral home, and had to stand in line for 45 minutes to pay our respects. We had gone out to our favorite Mexican restaurant the night before, so I spent the whole time in line clenching while surrounded by city council members, prosecutors, law enforcement, etc. As we walked across the parking lot to our car, I did a quick check of our surroundings, then let loose with a huge, very satisfying butt trumpet. My wife looked over at me, said, "You too?", and proceeded to let loose a fart that put mine to shame. Sorry guys, she's all mine.
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Jun 6, 2018 22:45
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I had a large serving of kimchi with dinner last night and an hour later I started letting out the foulest, garlic-iest, cabbage-iest kimchi farts I've ever had. I thought the worst was over before going to bed... My wife just gently let me know that I woke her up with my tooting in the middle of the night. It wasn't the sound, it was the smell. She described it as "putrid". I still have a large jar of Korean fart fuel goodness left, wish me luck 
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Jun 9, 2018 09:33
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Having my farts described as "necrotic" was my proudest moment
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Jun 10, 2018 05:17
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barbecue at the folks posted:I had a large serving of kimchi with dinner last night and an hour later I started letting out the foulest, garlic-iest, cabbage-iest kimchi farts I've ever had. I thought the worst was over before going to bed... I wonder how many people have stuck a cork up their partner's rear end while they slept, to stop these sort of unconscious fart attacks. ... And did the cork stay there, or get blown out? ... And if it got blown out, were there only farts behind it, or was there diarrhea as well?
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Jun 10, 2018 07:23
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BigBadSteve posted:I wonder how many people have stuck a cork up their partner's rear end while they slept, to stop these sort of unconscious fart attacks. All three scenarios you have described have and will occur infinite times throughout the Universe, my friend.
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Jun 10, 2018 07:29
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CollegeCop posted:I went up for my post-lunch dump this afternoon, and was sitting in the stall quietly finishing the chapter of the book I'm currently reading on my phone, when the door opened and someone else came in. Someone who apparently assumed the place would be empty, as evidenced by the little song they were singing as they strolled in, "Gonna poop! Gonna poop! Gonna poop, poop, poop!" I'm imagining this to the tune of the William Tell Overture
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Jun 10, 2018 08:34
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The guys from Supernatural have some wonderful fart stories.... https://youtu.be/qdzobly7Uxg Tork Monkee 4 Life fucked around with this message at 07:19 on Jun 11, 2018 |
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Jun 11, 2018 06:57
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s1Yd-EOWqHc&t=56m30s
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Jun 13, 2018 22:59
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Oh please this man tried to live the dream and failed We've all bet our entire purse and lost it on a fart In fact I've been struggling with one of those all day , currently sitting in the car trying my hardest to keep things from going south while reliving the pressure
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Jun 14, 2018 00:59
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It was so hot out one time I farted and I genuinely wasn't sure if I poo poo myself or it was just really bad swamp rear end. A private terror.
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Jun 15, 2018 00:07
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One time some dude farted and it smelled real bad the end thanks for reading
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Jun 15, 2018 00:13
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theres a will theres moe posted:One time some dude farted and it smelled real bad the end thanks for reading *Tried not to trigger *Thought of anybody actually farting *Throws up includes violent diarrhea
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Jun 15, 2018 00:24
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I seem to self own. Farted in my friends car just before we got out to go to the store. When I got back in, giggling that he would get hit, my own putrid stank hit me and had me gagging. Also tried to dutch oven bellows my fiancee, but instead got hit with our combined stank. She laughed alot. I gagged. Shes a keeper. 
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Jun 15, 2018 00:35
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My fiancee spent the whole night ripping deep rumblers in her computer chair. Just a constant rumbling noise from her side of the room. At one point, it vibrated so much that one of the cats got scared and ran off.
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Jun 15, 2018 01:15
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Skypie posted:My fiancee spent the whole night ripping deep rumblers in her computer chair. Just a constant rumbling noise from her side of the room. this user was probated for deep-sniffing his GF's computer chair seat
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Jun 15, 2018 04:06
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Hell if he was probated for sniffing his own gf's chair then i should be sent to the gas chamber your honour
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Jun 15, 2018 04:49
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Skypie posted:My fiancee spent the whole night ripping deep rumblers in her computer chair. Just a constant rumbling noise from her side of the room. Farts that scare pets show your alpha status and lets them know their place.
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Jun 15, 2018 04:54
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Jestery posted:When I was somewhere between 9-12 I collected all my farts in a mason jar to make ammunition for my fart gun. I got bored and made one on my printer. It has a range out to like 5 meters, it's pretty dumb but also fun 
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Jun 21, 2018 14:49
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Did u fart in it
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Jun 21, 2018 15:04
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This one , no I'm leaving the magic of discovery to the recipient of this model, the little tyke
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Jun 21, 2018 21:29
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kw96Av_vA-c
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Jun 28, 2018 15:43
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i farted in a bar and got thrown out by the bouncer
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Jul 21, 2018 12:33
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I once farted, sneezed, and ejaculated at the same time.
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Jul 21, 2018 15:49
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Elvis could fart, sneeze, pee, cough, belch, hiccup, snort, ejaculate, whistle, poop, and blow his nose all at the same time but he only did it once and it killed him.
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Jul 21, 2018 15:55
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