google: dad I hate myself and this phone is garbage

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Serious Hardware/Software Crap > YOSPOS > google: dad I hate myself and this phone is garbage

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OldAlias: Nov 2, 2013

Krankenstyle posted:

looks good

does crypto mean mining in this context? who the hell mines on a tablet? (botnet masters I guess)

# ? Jun 23, 2018 20:16

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# ? May 28, 2024 21:07

Schadenboner: Aug 15, 2011; by Shine

Goddamn is that a poor display of data, not a single correct design decision (Anroid, lol).

# ? Jun 23, 2018 20:47

Bobby Digital: Sep 4, 2009

FMguru posted:

lol

that photo app looks familiar :thunk:

# ? Jun 23, 2018 20:55

Notorious b.s.d.: Jan 25, 2003; by Reene

OldAlias posted:

does crypto mean mining in this context? who the hell mines on a tablet? (botnet masters I guess)

i assume they mean ssl

# ? Jun 23, 2018 20:57

ClassActionFursuit: Mar 15, 2006

Krankenstyle posted:

looks good

its literally a product not sold to consumers and is only for the education market

Sagebrush posted:

idk what he means by "full photoshop" but lol at the idea that anything running on any tablet is comparable to photoshop

while id never just assume someones pronouns valentina palladino does state that "she has a soft spot for chromebooks"

# ? Jun 24, 2018 01:38

Plank Walker: Aug 11, 2005

LastInLine posted:

while id never just assume someones pronouns valentina palladino does state that "she has a soft spot for chromebooks"

yeah in her skull

# ? Jun 25, 2018 00:54

Cocoa Crispies: Jul 20, 2001; Vehicular Manslaughter!; Pillbug

Krankenstyle posted:

looks good

the 9.7" iPad Pro came out in 2016

# ? Jun 25, 2018 05:23

Agile Vector: May 21, 2007; scrum bored

Plank Walker posted:

yeah in her skull

# ? Jun 25, 2018 06:35

Wheany: Mar 17, 2006; Spinya^{ha^{ha^haha}ha}ha_{ha_{ha_haha}ha}ha!; Doctor Rope

LastInLine posted:

its literally a product not sold to consumers and is only for the education market

oh, so it's expensive trash for children

# ? Jun 25, 2018 08:02

Lambert: Apr 15, 2018; by Fluffdaddy; Fallen Rib

Wheany posted:

oh, so it's expensive trash for children

Don't think the iPad is targeted at children primarily.

# ? Jun 25, 2018 08:16

flakeloaf: Feb 26, 2003; Still better than android clock

Lambert posted:

Don't think the iPad is targeted at children primarily.

well children and their non-technical mothers

# ? Jun 25, 2018 13:05

BangersInMyKnickers: Nov 3, 2004; I have a thing for courageous dongles

OldAlias posted:

does crypto mean mining in this context? who the hell mines on a tablet? (botnet masters I guess)

AES performance most likely. lovely scores mean battery drain and performance bottlenecks for encrypted storage.

# ? Jun 25, 2018 17:07

Pham Nuwen: Oct 30, 2010

BangersInMyKnickers posted:

AES performance most likely. lovely scores mean battery drain and performance bottlenecks for encrypted storage.

or possibly tls since most sites use https now and even if you're just using apps they're all calling home at all times anyway

# ? Jun 25, 2018 17:20

Endless Mike: Aug 13, 2003

do androids even do hardware encryption yet? last i checked, they were still doing it in software despite the socs supporting it

# ? Jun 25, 2018 17:24

Lambert: Apr 15, 2018; by Fluffdaddy; Fallen Rib

BangersInMyKnickers posted:

AES performance most likely. lovely scores mean battery drain and performance bottlenecks for encrypted storage.

nvm

# ? Jun 25, 2018 17:56

ClassActionFursuit: Mar 15, 2006

Endless Mike posted:

do androids even do hardware encryption yet? last i checked, they were still doing it in software despite the socs supporting it

pixel 2 does but i think thats literally the only one

# ? Jun 25, 2018 22:20

ClassActionFursuit: Mar 15, 2006

Wheany posted:

oh, so it's expensive trash for children

p. much tho most schools are already on chromebooks so its hard to see where a tablet thats just a chromebook fits in for students who already have a chromebook because they go to a school which requires chromebooks

its def. pointless but comparing it to an ipad or anything else makes no sense because it doesn't really exist to do anything afaict

# ? Jun 25, 2018 22:27

Agile Vector: May 21, 2007; scrum bored

Endless Mike posted:

do androids even do hardware encryption yet? last i checked, they were still doing it in software despite the socs supporting it

does it matter when the os is voluntarily compromised by the owner?

# ? Jun 26, 2018 00:19

infernal machines: Oct 11, 2012; we monitor many frequencies. we listen always. came a voice, out of the babel of tongues, speaking to us. it played us a mighty dub.

only in the sense that they run even worse because if they're doing storage encryption at all, it's not accelerated by the SoC

# ? Jun 26, 2018 00:22

BangersInMyKnickers: Nov 3, 2004; I have a thing for courageous dongles

Pham Nuwen posted:

or possibly tls since most sites use https now and even if you're just using apps they're all calling home at all times anyway

nobody is moving enough data over TLS on a tablet for it to matter

# ? Jun 26, 2018 14:50

Pham Nuwen: Oct 30, 2010

BangersInMyKnickers posted:

nobody is moving enough data over TLS on a tablet for it to matter

youtube?

# ? Jun 26, 2018 15:00

BangersInMyKnickers: Nov 3, 2004; I have a thing for courageous dongles

10mbit is peanuts

# ? Jun 26, 2018 15:07

infernal machines: Oct 11, 2012; we monitor many frequencies. we listen always. came a voice, out of the babel of tongues, speaking to us. it played us a mighty dub.

duplex: works exactly like it did in the demo, except not at all oh and even moderately complex interactions break it completely

# ? Jun 27, 2018 14:36

Jose Valasquez: Apr 8, 2005

infernal machines posted:

duplex: works exactly like it did in the demo, except not at all oh and even moderately complex interactions break it completely

those are both really positive articles :confused:

transferring to a human if something goes wrong is a good thing and honestly is the most surprising part for a company not known for customer service

# ? Jun 27, 2018 15:05

Arcteryx Anarchist: Sep 15, 2007; Fun Shoe

it has nothing to do with customer service, it�s to make sure people buy it as working

# ? Jun 27, 2018 15:20

hobbesmaster: Jan 28, 2008

infernal machines posted:

duplex: works exactly like it did in the demo, except not at all oh and even moderately complex interactions break it completely

it claims its opt in for the business so :shrug:

# ? Jun 27, 2018 15:28

Silver Alicorn: Mar 30, 2008; 𝓪 𝓻𝓮𝓭 𝓹𝓪𝓷𝓭𝓪 𝓲𝓼 𝓪 𝓬𝓾𝓻𝓲𝓸𝓾𝓼 𝓼𝓸𝓻𝓽 𝓸𝓯 𝓬𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓽𝓾𝓻𝓮

good.

# ? Jun 27, 2018 15:32

infernal machines: Oct 11, 2012; we monitor many frequencies. we listen always. came a voice, out of the babel of tongues, speaking to us. it played us a mighty dub.

hobbesmaster posted:

it claims its opt in for the business so

yeah, that should completely stymie adoption unless they're using a definition of opt-in that means "used any google service anywhere ever"

# ? Jun 27, 2018 15:37

Pham Nuwen: Oct 30, 2010

infernal machines posted:

yeah, that should completely stymie adoption unless they're using a definition of opt-in that means "used any google service anywhere ever"

it says "this is google calling on behalf of a person" so you can just hang up on it at least

does this count as quoting a stymie?

# ? Jun 27, 2018 15:44

anthonypants: May 6, 2007; by Nyc_Tattoo; Dinosaur Gum

Jose Valasquez posted:

those are both really positive articles

transferring to a human if something goes wrong is a good thing and honestly is the most surprising part for a company not known for customer service

why did they make some nerd from arse technical talk to the robot instead of a real person whose job it will be to answer these robocalls

also the first article talks about all the setup and how they have all these engineers around and that's the person who's takes over the call, not someone in a callcenter. transferring the call to a real person won't happen after duplex officially rolls out.

anthonypants fucked around with this message at 15:53 on Jun 27, 2018

# ? Jun 27, 2018 15:49

Cocoa Crispies: Jul 20, 2001; Vehicular Manslaughter!; Pillbug

anthonypants posted:

why did they make some nerd from arse technical talk to the robot instead of a real person whose job it will be to answer these robocalls

google pr doesn't have friends in food service

# ? Jun 27, 2018 17:15

PleasureKevin: Jan 2, 2011

[whoever the CEO of google is walks on stage]

today we have an new product. VelChrome. allow me to demonstrate.

OK Google, fasten my shoes.

[the feed from a camera pointed at his or her feet is on screen]

[two velcro strips on each foot mechanically attach to the shoe]

[at this point there is a small interruption as two 12 year olds, corn fed and large as an ox, come up on stage and steal the CEO of Google's lunch money, then leave]

DEE DEE!!

# ? Jun 28, 2018 11:04

carry on then: Jul 10, 2010; by VideoGames
(and can't post for 10 years!)

infernal machines posted:

yeah, that should completely stymie adoption unless they're using a definition of opt-in that means "used any google service anywhere ever"

opt in meaning, "a google maps local guide updated your business entry with your phone number"

# ? Jun 28, 2018 20:20

Plank Walker: Aug 11, 2005

opt in meaning, if you don't want to be buried on page 10 of search results, you better opt in

# ? Jun 28, 2018 20:22

anthonypants: May 6, 2007; by Nyc_Tattoo; Dinosaur Gum

lmao https://kotaku.com/1827217387

# ? Jun 28, 2018 22:06

infernal machines: Oct 11, 2012; we monitor many frequencies. we listen always. came a voice, out of the babel of tongues, speaking to us. it played us a mighty dub.

ahahahahaha.

riiight. maybe they can hire what's her face from OUYA

# ? Jun 28, 2018 22:30

Shifty Pony: Dec 28, 2004; Up ta somethin'

watch them do something extra stupid like promise to use machine learning to predict the player's movements to "solve" the fundamental latency and packet loss issues in real time cloud processing.

# ? Jun 28, 2018 22:36

Fiedler: Jun 29, 2002; I, for one, welcome our new mouse overlords.

google: introducing chromebox. it runs 3 games!
google: *radio silence for 6 months*
google: introducing google gamecast for chromebox. stream a game from our library of 3 games!
google: *radio silence for 2 years*
google: the gamecast service has been discontinued.

# ? Jun 28, 2018 22:55

flakeloaf: Feb 26, 2003; Still better than android clock

anthonypants posted:

lmao https://kotaku.com/1827217387

gently caress kotaku

futaku

quote:

Over the past few months, the wildest rumors in video game industry circles haven�t involved the PlayStation 5 or Xbox Two. The most interesting chatter has centered on a tech company that�s been quietly making moves to tackle video games in a big way: Google, the conglomerate that operates our email, our internet browsers, and much more.

We haven�t heard many specifics about Google�s video game plans, but what we have heard is that it�s a three-pronged approach: 1) Some sort of streaming platform, 2) some sort of hardware, and 3) an attempt to bring game developers under the Google umbrella, whether through aggressive recruiting or even major acquisitions. That�s the word from five people who have either been briefed on Google�s plans or heard about them secondhand.

Google has been exploring video game initiatives for most of the decade. In 2014, the company was reportedly poised to acquire Twitch before Amazon swooped in. Rumors percolated for years that Google was also attempting to launch an Android-based console, similar to Amazon�s Fire TV, but that didn�t happen. In 2016, the Google-incubated studio Niantic scored one of the biggest gaming successes of the last decade with Pok�mon Go, but it had spun out into an independent company the year before. And Google has a long history of hiring game developers for projects that never quite materialize.

In recent months, however, the chatter about Google has gotten louder. At the Game Developers Conference in March of this year, Google representatives met with several big video game companies to gauge interest in its streaming platform, which is code-named Yeti, sources said. (The existence of Google�s Yeti was first reported by the website The Information earlier this year.) Google also took meetings at E3 in Los Angeles a few weeks ago, those sources said, and from what we�ve heard, the company is looking not just to woo game developers to the Yeti service but to buy development studios entirely. (Google did not respond to a request for comment.)

So what is this streaming platform, exactly? Like Nvidia�s GeForce Now, the Google service would offload the work of rendering graphics to beefy computers elsewhere, allowing even the cheapest PCs to play high-end games. The biggest advantage of streaming, as opposed to physical discs or downloads, is that it removes hardware barriers for games. Games like Call of Duty can reach a significantly bigger audience if players don�t need an expensive graphics card or console to play them. As one person familiar with Yeti described it: Imagine playing The Witcher 3 within a tab on Google Chrome.

Sounds too good to be true, doesn�t it? Or sounds too much like the promise of other streaming platforms like OnLive, which failed because of lag and video compression that reduced quality? Many of the rumors we�ve heard need to be presented with some skepticism until we actually see them in action. One pie-in-the-sky idea I�ve heard floated, for example, is heavy integration between Yeti and the Google-owned YouTube. Imagine you�re playing a game and you run into a tricky boss or don�t know how to solve a puzzle. Instead of opening up your laptop or checking your phone for a guide, you could press a button to activate an overlay on your screen that cues up a YouTube walkthrough of the game you�re playing.

Whispers have been quieter about Google�s hardware, whatever that may look like, but the rumors we�ve heard suggest that it will link up with the streaming service in some way. We�re not sure whether Google is looking to compete with the technical specs of the next PlayStation and Xbox or whether this Google console will be cheaper and low-end, relying on the streaming service to pull weight.
Nvidia�s Geforce Now, which entered beta earlier this year, allows users to stream a selection of high-end games to PCs and Macs.

Those are the rumors currently floating around in games industry circles, where people are growing more excited about streaming every week. At E3 we saw both Microsoft and EA announce their own separate initiatives for streaming, and Ubisoft boss Yves Guillemot made headlines a week earlier by declaring that game streaming was the future. Xbox boss Phil Spencer recently told Kotaku contributor Keza MacDonald (for The Guardian) that he thinks streaming will tear down the borders between gaming platforms. �Our focus is on bringing console quality games that you see on TV or PC to any device,� he said.

The big splash of water on any excitement for streaming is of course internet bandwidth. Streaming big video games means uploading and downloading large amounts of data, which is difficult in many parts of the world thanks to bandwidth caps and lack of accessibility to high-speed connections. Bring that up to someone at Google and they might bring up one of the corporation�s many other initiatives: Google Fiber, a high-end broadband service that allows for speeds of up to 100x what most Americans have in their homes. While Fiber has run into roadblocks and is still a limited service, with locations in only a handful of cities, it does show that Google is capable of solutions to the bandwidth problem that no other gaming company can offer. Google also has data servers all across the world, which may allow them to reduce lag. (Seemingly endless cashflow can�t hurt, either.)

Still, some developers we�ve spoken to who have heard about the project are skeptical. Google�s history of starting and abandoning initiatives is a red flag, as is the lack of proper internet infrastructure across much of rural America. If Google were to launch dedicated hardware, what games would it launch with? What would entice developers to port to the platform? Video game history is littered with consoles that have attempted to take on Nintendo, Sony, and Microsoft only to fail in style, mostly due to lack of �killer app� video games, which is a reality that Google must face.

Other tech companies haven�t fared too well, either. Amazon has spent the past four years making big investments into gaming, spending many millions of dollars to woo top developers, build its own game engine, and buy companies like Twitch and Double Helix. Even with three full-fledged studios in operation, Amazon has yet to ship a major game, canceling the multiplayer sports brawler Breakaway last year.

One thing is for certain: Google wants to make a splash. In January 2018, the company hired Phil Harrison, the veteran video game executive who spent long stints at Sony and Microsoft as a top manager on the PlayStation and Xbox. Google has also been on a massive hiring spree, bringing in experienced video game developers and marketers from EA, PlayStation, and many other top companies. The money is certainly there. Only time will tell if Yeti materializes in some form or simply goes the way of Google Glass.

# ? Jun 29, 2018 00:00

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# ? May 28, 2024 21:07

Illusive Fuck Man: Jul 5, 2004; RIP John McCain feel better xoxo ð ð; Taco Defender

if it was physically possible, i think a cloud gaming service would be cool as poo poo

# ? Jun 29, 2018 00:20

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Serious Hardware/Software Crap > YOSPOS > google: dad I hate myself and this phone is garbage

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