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glad she is dead posted:And what is a dinosaur really bringing to the table that a sufficiently trained bear or tiger can't? Speed, weight, intelligence. The Indoraptor would be more effective at killing than a bear or tiger considering how god drat big and fast it is.
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Jun 26, 2018 18:18
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But who needs dinosaurs when you could have... A gun?
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Jun 26, 2018 18:29
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Steve2911 posted:But who needs dinosaurs when you could have... A gun? I dunno. Having a coked-up stegosaurus HALO dropped into your base in the middle of the night probably makes for some good psychological warfare.
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Jun 26, 2018 18:35
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Steve2911 posted:But who needs dinosaurs when you could have... A gun? I get it now, it's a brilliant marketing ploy. We phase out guns in favor of dinosaurs, then at the height of dinosaur popularity... we reintroduce the gun.
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Jun 26, 2018 18:41
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Jacob's Ladder except instead of a Vietnam vet hallucinating through a nightmarish purgatory of creatures from Hell, it's genetically enhanced dinosaurs.
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Jun 26, 2018 19:32
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exquisite tea posted:Jacob's Ladder except instead of a Vietnam vet hallucinating through a nightmarish purgatory of creatures from Hell, it's genetically enhanced dinosaurs. This is my new headcanon for what Bob Hoskins is going through in Super Mario Bros.
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Jun 26, 2018 19:35
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A Fancy Hat posted:These movies no longer take place in anything resembling the real world. Jurassic Park was all about what happens if we brought something from the past into our present. Now? We're exploring a fantasy world where dinosaurs have existed for almost 30 years, everybody has grown bored of that fact, and now they want to turn them into killing machines for some reason. Kinda like airplanes then right? Went from cool scientific novelty to "how do we use these to kill fuckers" in what 15 years?
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Jun 26, 2018 22:26
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Xenomrph posted:Trevorrow has confirmed that the Indoraptor is the last hybrid we’ll be seeing in a JP movie. But by the very nature of their creation, all the dinosaurs portrayed in the Jurassic Park movies are hybrids. ...don't tell me, they're going to travel back in time and extract genuine dinosaurs from their respective time eras!?!?
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Jun 26, 2018 22:42
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Peanut President posted:Kinda like airplanes then right? Went from cool scientific novelty to "how do we use these to kill fuckers" in what 15 years? .... uh.. gently caress it why not? Yes, the killer genetic dinosaurs are just like airplanes!
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Jun 26, 2018 22:46
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Detective No. 27 posted:But by the very nature of their creation, all the dinosaurs portrayed in the Jurassic Park movies are hybrids. They obviously mean no more indominus/indoraptor style hybrids.
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Jun 26, 2018 23:16
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Colapops posted:They obviously mean no more indominus/indoraptor style hybrids. I wish they'd lean into it instead and make some loving crazy Dinosaurs Attack-style implausible genetic creations that'd put xenomorphs to shame. Like, picture an Indomizilla Metalsaurus with a head bigger than the entire body of any dinosaur we've seen before, except it has three heads from different dinosaurs, and a dilophosaur-style neck frill, and one of its heads is melting buildings with a flood of acid, one of its heads breathes fire, and one of its heads is just constantly spewing forth a plague of little red horned compys (get it, they're like demonic imps) to do its bidding in eusocial fashion, and it also has a fourth smaller head on its tail that hypnotizes people, and there are various guns mounted on its sides, and the human villain is riding around on a swivel chair that's been drilled into its spine, but at some point he gets knocked off and falls to his death and explodes. Like... if you're going to do this "let's make the coolest fake dinosaur we can" schoolboy poo poo, then please go all in on it.
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Jun 26, 2018 23:54
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glad she is dead posted:.... uh.. gently caress it why not? Yes, the killer genetic dinosaurs are just like airplanes! Hell yeah! Anything can be anything if you believe!
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Jun 27, 2018 00:01
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Colapops posted:They obviously mean no more indominus/indoraptor style hybrids. My style of humor has gone extinct. 
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Jun 27, 2018 00:03
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21 Muns posted:I wish they'd lean into it instead and make some loving crazy Dinosaurs Attack-style implausible genetic creations that'd put xenomorphs to shame. Like, picture an Indomizilla Metalsaurus with a head bigger than the entire body of any dinosaur we've seen before, except it has three heads from different dinosaurs, and a dilophosaur-style neck frill, and one of its heads is melting buildings with a flood of acid, one of its heads breathes fire, and one of its heads is just constantly spewing forth a plague of little red horned compys (get it, they're like demonic imps) to do its bidding in eusocial fashion, and it also has a fourth smaller head on its tail that hypnotizes people, and there are various guns mounted on its sides, and the human villain is riding around on a swivel chair that's been drilled into its spine, but at some point he gets knocked off and falls to his death and explodes. Like... if you're going to do this "let's make the coolest fake dinosaur we can" schoolboy poo poo, then please go all in on it. King ghidorah is in the new Godzilla
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Jun 27, 2018 00:10
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DeimosRising posted:King ghidorah is in the new Godzilla I forgot to mention that it has eight legs because it's also part spider. 
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Jun 27, 2018 00:21
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21 Muns posted:I forgot to mention that it has eight legs because it's also part spider. Wait what when did they announced this???? Man don’t start hyping about King of Monsters just yet. I want to go into that movie not knowing anything.
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Jun 27, 2018 02:04
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Happy Noodle Boy posted:Wait what when did they announced this???? Neah man I'm just dunking on Jurassic World.
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Jun 27, 2018 02:16
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Next movie should be a homage/spiritual adaptation of Primal Rage. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_aF-HtQ_BcU
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Jun 27, 2018 03:17
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Dark_Tzitzimine posted:Next movie should be a homage/spiritual adaptation of Primal Rage. Yeah, I’d watch a fifty foot ape fart on a raptor. That would sell a ticket.
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Jun 27, 2018 03:25
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I might have missed it but is there any explanation how the Mosasaur survived for 3 years in the tank? Everything else you can at least handwave away a little but that seems like a pretty big thing for something that hardly had plot relevance.
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Jun 27, 2018 03:29
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It’s the same way the Trex in the first movie pushed the tour car off a cliff that didn’t exist when it broke through the fence, or how the same Trex that made impact tremors when it walked was able to sneak into the visitor’s center and ambush the two raptors: the Rule of Cool
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Jun 27, 2018 03:46
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Well if you believe that guy with 72 YouTube videos on Jurassic park you'd know that rex can turn her impact tremors off when she wants to. Edit misgendered a dinosaur
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Jun 27, 2018 06:10
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21 Muns posted:I wish they'd lean into it instead and make some loving crazy Dinosaurs Attack-style implausible genetic creations that'd put xenomorphs to shame. Like, picture an Indomizilla Metalsaurus with a head bigger than the entire body of any dinosaur we've seen before, except it has three heads from different dinosaurs, and a dilophosaur-style neck frill, and one of its heads is melting buildings with a flood of acid, one of its heads breathes fire, and one of its heads is just constantly spewing forth a plague of little red horned compys (get it, they're like demonic imps) to do its bidding in eusocial fashion, and it also has a fourth smaller head on its tail that hypnotizes people, and there are various guns mounted on its sides, and the human villain is riding around on a swivel chair that's been drilled into its spine, but at some point he gets knocked off and falls to his death and explodes. Like... if you're going to do this "let's make the coolest fake dinosaur we can" schoolboy poo poo, then please go all in on it. I do feel that both the hybrid dinosaurs we've seen are quite weak takes on the concept. They both just look like dinosaurs who are also huge assholes. When they hyped up Jurassic World having some crazy new genetic experiment dinosaur I was expecting some mad Frankenstein poo poo. Give it a lion's head or something at least.
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Jun 27, 2018 07:55
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Bobby Digital posted:Make the next movie about Blue and her adventures. I'd love a remake of the TV show The Littlest Hobo but with Blue instead of a German Shepherd "Every stop I make, I eat a new friend Can't stay for long just turn around and I'm gone again" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lgGKSjiw0HQ
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Jun 27, 2018 09:01
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Bobby Digital posted:Make the next movie about Blue and her adventures. Only if it leads to a diner scene where Blue after having a set back is nursing a coffee and chris pratt gives a rousing speech to kick start the third act.
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Jun 27, 2018 14:39
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bobjr posted:I might have missed it but is there any explanation how the Mosasaur survived for 3 years in the tank? Everything else you can at least handwave away a little but that seems like a pretty big thing for something that hardly had plot relevance. Like Xenomrph said it's just Rule of Cool but I imagine the in-universe explanation is that since the mosasaur is essentially a giant aquatic monitor lizard, it can go for very long periods of time without eating, and on top of that it probably had tiny fish snacks here and there. It might have been able to hibernate some way as well. You know how the lampshading in this series goes.
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Jun 27, 2018 15:15
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Was Mills jumping into a minivan with the Indominus Rex bone at the end of the movie? If so, make and model?
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Jun 27, 2018 16:47
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Xenomrph posted:It’s the same way the Trex in the first movie pushed the tour car off a cliff that didn’t exist when it broke through the fence, or how the same Trex that made impact tremors when it walked was able to sneak into the visitor’s center and ambush the two raptors: the Rule of Cool But those two things lead to really great and iconic scenes, the Mosasaur didn't really pull anything off that was great. I mean, take it out of the film and the film would be just as good (bad).
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Jun 27, 2018 17:00
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s.i.r.e. posted:But those two things lead to really great and iconic scenes, the Mosasaur didn't really pull anything off that was great. I mean, take it out of the film and the film would be just as good (bad). I dunno, I thought the mosasaur sneaking up on the sub and them having no idea what was coming was pretty slick (and way more restrained than what was in the trailers, with the sub seeing the mosasaur’s eye suddenly open). Also having the guy on the ladder escape the Trex only to immediately get eaten by the Mosasaur was pretty funny, and would have been a lot funnier if the trailer hadn’t spoiled it.
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Jun 27, 2018 17:05
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But you saw both of those things coming from a mile away and considering it's the fourth god drat time the dumb thing has jumped out of the water to eat stuff, it was already stale. I really with that it slowly wrapped its jaws around the sub and then proceed to crush it with the sub exploding with a ton of bubbles with it's lights cutting out so all you see is subtle, dark blue lighting on the debris and Mosasaur.
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Jun 27, 2018 17:41
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I guess we’ll have to agree to disagree. I do agree that not including it wouldn’t have harmed the movie, but I think its inclusion was fun and I liked the way it was handled. I just wish it (and the surfer bit at the end) hadn’t been spoiled in the trailer.
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Jun 27, 2018 19:11
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I bet there was a version of the script where the bad guys nearly escaped in the finale but the mosasaur suddenly appeared and ate them after having traveled all the way from Isla Nublar specifically to gently caress them up until someone went "Uh, that's a bit too Jaws 4, guys."
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Jun 27, 2018 20:08
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ok so now that we agree the best Indiana Jones film was Temple of Doom maybe we can agree that the second best Jurassic movie was The Lost World 
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Jun 27, 2018 20:11
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This was so close to being the second-best Jurassic movie. So incredibly close. It did far more right than it did wrong. But it just couldn't loving help itself. It over-explained constantly. The movie had absolutely ZERO respect for its audience. It wasn't content to just connect the dots, it had to draw them in sharpie, put down a line of glue, then sprinkle grape-scented glitter on top before giving it a first place award in a made-up-contest hosted on the world's largest floating awards ship, the USS Awards-Giver, captained by Captain Obvious. Example: Evil businessman dude is getting dressed down by his boss, a bedridden old man. He's ordered to call the police. The phone is on a pillow; dude picks up the pillow instead of the phone. The intention is crystal clear: he's gonna murder the dude rather than turn himself in. But that's not enough. To further cement that evil dude is evil and old dude is dead, the movie: a) Has the old man's cane fall over and the big crystal on top shatters. All in slow-mo. b) Has the granddaughter come in and shake him, he won't wake up. c) Only THEN does the medical equipment start doing the flatline noise d) The governess/assistant character immediately starts making arrangements for the granddaughter, only to be fired by evil dude in the shadiest way possible It does this CONSTANTLY. They could have cut 10-15minutes of clunky exposition and needless (immediate) recaps. But, once you get away from the over-explaining, you're left with a pretty good thriller that has several decent twists. It was refreshing how competent the villains were, and how ruthless. At least until the start of the final act, when the head mercenary guy makes a move so dumb even the Prometheus crew would be appalled. At least that's the catalyst for the the last act to turn into a slasher film in this big mansion. It's a three-way brawl between mercenaries, Cris Pratt's group, and the super raptor. This was my favorite part of the movie. And then they had to ruin it just to give Blue a loving Mortal Kombat-esque stage fatality. And speaking of Blue, we have a new low point in the series: Blue sheds a single tear while undergoing surgery. Jesus christ, it was OBVIOUS the thing was in pain, what with the squirming and squealing and the fact that a character LITERALLY SAYS IT. So WHY IS IT NECESSARY TO ADD THE TEAR? Final verdict: Two steps forward. Two steps back. Every drat time. Final Jurassic movie ranking: JP1 > JP2 > J-World > Fallen Kingdom* > JP3 *Cutting 15 minutes of stupid clunky exposition and most of Blue's scenes would skyrocket this up to even with, or better than, JP2.
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Jun 27, 2018 20:24
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Franklin: “bah it’s hot!” Chris Pratt staring at volcano: “it’s about to get a lot hotter”
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Jun 27, 2018 21:14
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ConfusedUs posted:This was so close to being the second-best Jurassic movie. So incredibly close. It did far more right than it did wrong. Do you agree with me that it would have significantly elevated the movie if the ending were flipped and made shockingly depressing for a Jurassic Park movie? Blue blames Pratt for her injury and horribly mauls him, requiring Claire to put Blue down. Meanwhile Indoraptor kills the cloned little girl in her bed and all the dinosaurs downstairs asphyxiate. Douchey villain guy successfully escapes unscathed and actually recovers the Indoraptor alive. End the movie on a flashback to the old guy's daughter enthusiastically talking to him about dinosaurs over the phone before being hit by a car with a general undertone that attempts to use genetic technology to bring things back from the dead is doomed to fail; fade to credits. Make sure to tune in for Jurassic Park 6 in three years, kids, for a completely miserable exploration of why biowarfare will be horrifying!
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Jun 27, 2018 21:30
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ConfusedUs posted:This was so close to being the second-best Jurassic movie. So incredibly close. It did far more right than it did wrong. I've read enough TVIV and CineD threads to know that if they don't explain every little thing to an extreme degree goons will argue that it was too vague and didn't make enough sense. Yet when they do explain things you get another equally loud group of goons who get mad they get treated like idiots who watch movies out of their peripheral vision while playing videogames.
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Jun 27, 2018 22:14
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Ty1990 posted:Franklin: “bah it’s hot!” I'd like to see a re-edit with Chris staring at the nerdy guy and stating with deadly seriousness "You made me come"
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Jun 28, 2018 00:01
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Anyone else think that Maisie 1.0 dying in a car crash was a poor writing mistake? Why not make her have died from an incurable disease, and then have her clone be cured of said disease through genetic manipulation? Also, I agree that her dying would have made her story more impactful. Who knows. Maybe my complaint will be retconned in the sequel.
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Jun 28, 2018 05:51
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Scholtz posted:Anyone else think that Maisie 1.0 dying in a car crash was a poor writing mistake? Why not make her have died from an incurable disease, and then have her clone be cured of said disease through genetic manipulation? Also, I agree that her dying would have made her story more impactful. I mean regardless she still sicks dinos on the rest of us because she felt like it like obviously it makes sense from a "where do we take the movie franchise next? I know! Dinotopia in our world!" but i find it funny that a raptor is now eating everyone's pet dog and people are getting vivisected by t rex's and their heads turned to cherry pie by brontos and vegas tourists getting helicopter rides from pteros because of the whims of a little girl and her abomination solidarity thanks Maisie Alan Smithee fucked around with this message at 11:52 on Jun 28, 2018 |
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Jun 28, 2018 11:49
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