/r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

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Ghost Leviathan: Mar 2, 2017; Exploration is ill-advised.

Midnight Voyager posted:

that's super crazy though because Bible doesn't say poo poo about any of that.

American Christianity.txt

# ? Jun 27, 2018 01:03

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# ? May 9, 2024 09:45

Ghost Leviathan: Mar 2, 2017; Exploration is ill-advised.

Jeffrey of YOSPOS posted:

It was certainly a self destructive path to take but if she forever established with her mom that she's serious about the boundaries she sets, well, that's something some people never learn if this thread is anything to go by.

It's probably the only way a narcissist can maybe learn.

# ? Jun 27, 2018 01:06

Caganer: Feb 15, 2018

DragQueenofAngmar posted:

the mentally disabled can't consent

"dating christians is rape" is truly a spicy take

:discourse:

# ? Jun 27, 2018 01:14

HIJK: Nov 25, 2012; in the room where you sleep

Haifisch posted:

My [15 F] mom [37 F] is mad because I burned my journal and paintings after I caught her snooping.

This girl owns.

# ? Jun 27, 2018 01:18

Ratzap: Jun 9, 2012; Let no pie go wasted; Soiled Meat

Not from reddit but this certainly falls into the remit of this thread.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-44617074

Soooo, which NZ goon is missing? And since it's not specified in the article, want to take bets on whether he was after the 14 or 18 year old?

# ? Jun 27, 2018 01:20

Admiral Ray: May 17, 2014; Proud Musk and Dogecoin fanboy

Haifisch posted:

My (21F) boyfriend (21M) wants me to get closer to God and I don't think I can

Dump your wack rear end bf and find a regular religious person, good God

# ? Jun 27, 2018 01:57

Beachcomber: May 21, 2007; Another day in paradise.; Slippery Tilde

Admiral Ray posted:

Dump your wack rear end bf and find a regular religious person, good God

Are they afraid or blissed out? Both?

# ? Jun 27, 2018 02:12

Lonely Virgil: Oct 9, 2012

Haifisch posted:

My (21F) boyfriend (21M) wants me to get closer to God and I don't think I can

Wait he told her about demons attacking him in his sleep before taking her to nutso church? And she was just thought "this is a totally normal thing Christians believe", not "This man is insane".

Is this some enclave of Evangelical Fundamentalist deep out in the wilderness of Washington these two live in?

# ? Jun 27, 2018 02:30

TehRedWheelbarrow: Mar 16, 2011; Fan of Britches

fairly typical for evangelicals in my (albeit hosed up) experiences.

# ? Jun 27, 2018 02:31

loquacius: Oct 21, 2008

He's gonna have a rough time in the Philippines since I'm guessing he also thinks Catholics worship Satan

# ? Jun 27, 2018 02:37

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

loquacius posted:

He's gonna have a rough time in the Philippines since I'm guessing he also thinks Catholics worship Satan

mm...

# ? Jun 27, 2018 02:38

Salty Josh: Jul 13, 2016; Sometimes there's so much beauty in the world, I feel like I can't take it, and my heart is just going to cave in.; Nap Ghost

HIJK posted:

This girl owns.

Pretty much. Better burn the evidence.

# ? Jun 27, 2018 02:43

Bored: Jul 26, 2007; Dude, ix-nay on the oice-vay.

tactlessbastard posted:

Yo hit me

Hey sexy.

*this smiley will now be used everytime I hit on someone on the forums. I have no clue who made/bought it, but I thank them.

# ? Jun 27, 2018 02:53

Caganer: Feb 15, 2018

Farting is ruining our relationship (self.relationship_advice)

quote:

Throwaway for obvious reasons. I know how dumb the title sounds.

Basically my boyfriend of 8 months is ALWAYS farting and it smells awful and is just overall disgusting. 7 times a night in his sleep, 30 times a day when he�s awake. It�s really making me not attracted to him. It�s the fact that his mom noticed too and said he�s always had stomach problems. Its literally after anything he eats no matter what it is, I wouldn�t even care if he got help but he refuses to make a doctors appointment when he knows it�s a problem, after he eats certain things he�s bent over in pain and his rear end is RANK. Is this grounds to leave someone? Like someone who just continues to do these gross things and not even try to hold it or do anything about their issues?

# ? Jun 27, 2018 02:54

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

no mater how many holiday touchstones they produce, I'll never think well of Rankin' rear end

# ? Jun 27, 2018 02:55

loquacius: Oct 21, 2008

Caganer posted:

Farting is ruining our relationship (self.relationship_advice)

There should be an SA-style smilie on Reddit that says "consistent refusal to address acknowledged serious medical or mental-health issues is a red flag and absolutely breakup-worthy"

# ? Jun 27, 2018 02:58

La Brea Carpet: Nov 22, 2007; I have no mouth and I must post

My bf [28M] of 3 years is oversized child that demands I [25F] get up in the middle of the night and early mornings for his benefit

quote:

This is going to sound like a petty topic but it's causing me to build a lot of resentment against Tom. I already have terrible sleep problems and this is making it worse

It started harmless at the beginning. He liked having back scratches and I thought it was cute and intimate.

Back then we weren't living together so couple of times a week didnt bother me and I was happy to do it.

Last year we started living together and there was .... a lot of teething as we had never lived with a SO before.

I found some of his behaviour to be VERY selfish while he thought he was simply practical and that I wasn't logical

For example once a week I finish work relatively late (8pm) while he finished by 4pm. He has the whole day to sort out dinner but he expects me to drive after work and get us take out. He thinks it's a "one minute stop" but I know that it takes a lot more effort and time and when im tired I just don't want to deal with it. If i ask him to order delivery he says I can do that when im home then.

That's not the reason why I posted this though

Back to back scratches. He has become quite demanding with those. He now thinks I owe him at least 10 minutes a night of those. If i dont do it he'll complain non stop till I give in.

If I do Do it- it's NEVER enough. He wants me to litreally scratch his back till he falls asleep. He wants me to scratch his back in the middle of the night as this one time apearantly I started doing it.

Im probably seeing back scratches in my sleep that I'm doing this poo poo without realizing. It's very tiresome.

On my day off - he wants me to get up early in the morning so that I can give him more back scratches.

He wont return the favor either. I dont like scratches but I would love a massage but nope he argues that it takes less effort for the scratching and as such massage is toooo hard

He argues that he helps with cleaning and cooking when he doesn't want to and as such I need to be scratching his back in return. When I tell him id rather not scratch and just sleep he says hed rather not do any chores - as if they're the same thing !!!

Is this behaviour normal ?

How do i break this cycle as clearly saying no doesn't work

Tl;Dr: *bf of 3 years wants me to get up on middle of night, early morning and wait till he goes to sleep - all so that I can scratch his back*

Buy him a happy cow scratching machine. Fixed.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2AM1kDBPfcs

# ? Jun 27, 2018 02:59

Haifisch: Nov 13, 2010; Objection! I object! That was... objectionable!; Taco Defender

My Cousin (29M) Added His Girlfriend (25F) Of 4 Months To His Current, Savings and Credit Card Accounts....

quote:

My cousin has asked me to keep a secret for him which I don't think I can. He is 29 year old guy who earns about $150k a year finance, he is an only child and his dad died when he was 1 so it's just been him and his mom. He doesn't have many friends. I am 30M.

A few months ago we all went to a house party and there was a beautiful girl there. Since that night she's all he has spoken about. He was hooked. We'd never seen him like that. A few weeks in he complained that she never pays for anything. But eventually he just accepted it. I do not know WHAT this girl did. He said the sex was good and i don't think he has had a girl as fine as her before but he was CLEARLY in love/lust with her. He is sure this is his one true love, this is it for him. He said apparently she was the best sex, best everything. She told him she's madly in love with him.

This all happened in 4 months

WELL

WELL

WELL

Today he was speaking to me and told me not to judge him but as a sign of his 'commitment' to her he added her on to:

1. His bank account (to make it joint) where his wages go every month (so that's now joint and no she's not adding anything to it)

2. As an additional holder on his credit card account

3. HE MADE HIS SAVINGS ACCOUNT JOINT!!!! WHICH HAS HIS 200K SAVINGS FROM THE PROCEED OF HIS RECENT HOUSE SALE AND INHERITANCE. HIS LIFE SAVINGS.

I said did he ask or tell anyone before doing this. He said no, he really cares for her and he wanted to show her he was committed and she suggested a joint account. So he added her to all 3 as all are held by the same bank.

Apparently they went in together yesterday and signed a heap of forms. For the bank accounts it became joint for the credit card it's an 'additional holder.

He said he will marry her anyway and trusts her so why not and if she needs to buy anything she will have his cards.

It's been 4 months....

I did ask why also the savings.

He said 'oh i just thought i'd do all of them'.

EVEN WORSE. HE HAS TOLD ME NOT TO TELL ANY OTHER FAMILY MEMBERS BECAUSE HE KNOWS HIS MOTHER 'WOULDN'T UNDERSTAND'.

I don't think I can keep this to myself as this seems like it's just such bad, bad, bad news. He would have never done such. I do not know how this girl has convinced him to do this. He had 3 girlfriends before this. I do not get why he is doing this so soon for this new girl.

WHAT ARE THE CONSEQUENCES OF THIS?!?!

SURELY IF SHE'S JOINT ON THE ACCOUNT SHE CAN RUN OFF WITH HIS MONEY.

What can I do? Or do I just keep this all secret and say nothing? It doesn't fell right. I want to tell our family but I don't want to betray him. This just all feels wrong.

TLDR: Cousin wants me to keep financial details of new relationship secret from family. I do not think I can. I believe this situation is a danger. I do not want to invade his privacy but I want to tell our family and betray his trust.

# ? Jun 27, 2018 02:59

Salty Josh: Jul 13, 2016; Sometimes there's so much beauty in the world, I feel like I can't take it, and my heart is just going to cave in.; Nap Ghost

Pick posted:

no mater how many holiday touchstones they produce, I'll never think well of Rankin' rear end

Do they rank them numerically or categorically?

# ? Jun 27, 2018 02:59

Salty Josh: Jul 13, 2016; Sometimes there's so much beauty in the world, I feel like I can't take it, and my heart is just going to cave in.; Nap Ghost

Haifisch posted:

My Cousin (29M) Added His Girlfriend (25F) Of 4 Months To His Current, Savings and Credit Card Accounts....

gently caress man.

# ? Jun 27, 2018 03:00

Elderbean: Jun 10, 2013

Yeah to be honest believing in demons is not seen as insane in many parts of America.

# ? Jun 27, 2018 03:01

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

Milotic posted:

I�m thinking prison or indefinite detention sounds good?

[24F]My autistic [22M] brother is ripping my family apart and I've had it.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=er5nGQCmZ98

# ? Jun 27, 2018 03:02

Salty Josh: Jul 13, 2016; Sometimes there's so much beauty in the world, I feel like I can't take it, and my heart is just going to cave in.; Nap Ghost

Or suffocate him with a pillow.

# ? Jun 27, 2018 03:05

pidan: Nov 6, 2012

Ghost Leviathan posted:

It's probably the only way a narcissist can maybe learn.

This mom will never feel anything about this situation, other than righteous indignation at the evil daughter who defied her and thereby made her own future so much harder. For years, mom will try to bring this up in a jocular "see, you were a silly teenager, good thing I was able to set you straight" kind of way no matter how many times the daughter tries to explain her perspective. Any future diaries or artworks will still be accessed by the mother.

My mom took my sketches out of the trash because she "wanted to use the back for taking notes". Later, after I had gotten incredibly mad at this, she made a little portfolio of this trash art and showed it to other relatives. :sever:

and

this type of mom

I'm still mad about it

# ? Jun 27, 2018 03:06

Salty Josh: Jul 13, 2016; Sometimes there's so much beauty in the world, I feel like I can't take it, and my heart is just going to cave in.; Nap Ghost

pidan posted:

This mom will never feel anything about this situation, other than righteous indignation at the evil daughter who defied her and thereby made her own future so much harder. For years, mom will try to bring this up in a jocular "see, you were a silly teenager, good thing I was able to set you straight" kind of way no matter how many times the daughter tries to explain her perspective. Any future diaries or artworks will still be accessed by the mother.

My mom took my sketches out of the trash because she "wanted to use the back for taking notes". Later, after I had gotten incredibly mad at this, she made a little portfolio of this trash art and showed it to other relatives. and this type of mom

I'm still mad about it

I would hide my dirty poo poo right next to a fake suicide note.

That way if my mother found it she'd be like "oh poo poo, my son's about to kill himself" and not "holy poo poo, my son is hosed up"

# ? Jun 27, 2018 03:08

Leon Einstein: Feb 6, 2012; I must win every thread in GBS. I don't care how much banal semantic quibbling and shitty posts it takes.

Haifisch posted:

My Cousin (29M) Added His Girlfriend (25F) Of 4 Months To His Current, Savings and Credit Card Accounts....

Eh, he earns 150k a year. Even if she steals all his money, he isn't going to go hungry as a result of his stupidity. He'll be pissed if he's betrayed.

# ? Jun 27, 2018 03:36

Salty Josh: Jul 13, 2016; Sometimes there's so much beauty in the world, I feel like I can't take it, and my heart is just going to cave in.; Nap Ghost

Leon Einstein posted:

Eh, he earns 150k a year. Even if she steals all his money, he isn't going to go hungry as a result of his stupidity.

Is he a lawyer or a doctor?

# ? Jun 27, 2018 03:37

Caganer: Feb 15, 2018

Salty Josh posted:

Is he a lawyer or a doctor?

probably an engineer

# ? Jun 27, 2018 03:37

Salty Josh: Jul 13, 2016; Sometimes there's so much beauty in the world, I feel like I can't take it, and my heart is just going to cave in.; Nap Ghost

Caganer posted:

probably an engineer

I'm an engineer and don't make that much.

Although... he could be in a different field.

# ? Jun 27, 2018 03:38

Caganer: Feb 15, 2018

Salty Josh posted:

I'm an engineer and don't make that much.

Although... he could be in a different field.

Tech bro not a real engineer

# ? Jun 27, 2018 03:56

Salty Josh: Jul 13, 2016; Sometimes there's so much beauty in the world, I feel like I can't take it, and my heart is just going to cave in.; Nap Ghost

Caganer posted:

Tech bro not a real engineer

Yeah, truth.

Don't know how secure those kind of jobs are. But 150k a year would go a LONG way.

# ? Jun 27, 2018 03:58

cumshitter: Sep 27, 2005; by Fluffdaddy

It says he works in finance in the first sentence. Which is different from banking, even if you work at a bank adjacent advisory firm like Merill Lynch (B of A) or Chase Financial Advisors.

She can take all the money without any consequence now that she is a joint owner of the account. Depending on what position he's in he could calculate FINRA compliant performance numbers, tell you the withdrawal schedule from an Inherited IRA, or calculate Yield to Maturity on a floating rate bond by hand. That doesn't mean he has decent practical life and household budgeting skills, which he clearly doesn't

Also if I ever went to a church and they told me to go into a corner and pray for an hour I would leave because I would assume the priest is going through the parking lot and stealing from everyone's cars. What the gently caress?

# ? Jun 27, 2018 04:02

Leon Einstein: Feb 6, 2012; I must win every thread in GBS. I don't care how much banal semantic quibbling and shitty posts it takes.

He works in finance. Definitely the guy I'd want coaching me on financial decisions.

# ? Jun 27, 2018 04:02

cumshitter: Sep 27, 2005; by Fluffdaddy

Also even assuming he has been making $150K for the past decade $250K in cash is a weirdly large amount to keep in savings, especially if he was watching the run up of the S&P 500/Russell 1000/DJIA total returns indexes since 2008. I do not make anywhere near as much but I'd think it ridiculous to keep nearly twice my annual salary in cash when I can walk down the hall and talk to numerous CFP's (Certified Fincancial Planners) or CFA's (Chartered Financial Analysts) about ways to invest my money with appropriate risk exposure.

# ? Jun 27, 2018 04:07

tactlessbastard: Feb 4, 2001; Godspeed, post; Fun Shoe

Bored posted:

Hey sexy. *

*this smiley will now be used everytime I hit on someone on the forums. I have no clue who made/bought it, but I thank them.

Unf

# ? Jun 27, 2018 04:12

Khazar-khum: Oct 22, 2008; Cat Army
2nd Battalion

Salty Josh posted:

I'm an engineer and don't make that much.

Although... he could be in a different field.

Where do you live?

# ? Jun 27, 2018 06:10

NO FUCK YOU DAD: Oct 23, 2008

I get believing in demons as a concept because there's a whole lore surrounding them that's been around for thousands of years, but thinking demons are targeting you personally is just narccicism. Yeah man Satan totally sent his unholy minions out to Nowhere, WA to give one dumb rear end in a top hat the Three Teeny Scratches of the Damned.

At least with haunted houses the ghost is just a thing that's hanging out for anyone to encounter and not a high-level mob that comes after you specifically if you accumulate enough Jesus points.

# ? Jun 27, 2018 07:05

LadyPictureShow: Nov 18, 2005; Success!

Shitposting live from Istanbul! So I thought, why not search for that?

He's used to loads of money and free time. I'm not.

quote:

I'm a mom with two daughters, that I provide for myself. I have a good job and we're doing fine, but I don't have a lot of free time and I do need to think before every purchase. I'm happy with my life and proud of being able to lead a good and calm life for my daughters. I've been in a relationship for 4,5 years with a man with no kids that earns three times more than me and comes from a rich family. I've been very cautious about him not thinking I'm a golddigger, so from the first date I've paid half everytime we do something. After a while I realized I could not possibly keep up with all the expensive initiatives he takes, so I told him and he began to pay more.

Now to the present situation, and the question: I've been feeling that we really don't know eachother since we rarely have alonetime and if we do, he always suggests activities so that we can't talk. Like the movies, seeing his parents, going to parties, playing badminton. It's nice, but by now I'm frustrated that I don't really know very much about him and he does not know a lot about me. So - in january, I told him we need to get to know eachother and I talked to the father of my children and arranged for us to have two child free vacation weeks together in July.

That's huge to me, and I don't think I'll ever be able to arrange for that again.

I told him I've saved 600 dollars for our two weeks and that I really wanted us to swim and relax together. He said that he was going to boook a nice trip and I was so exited. I was hoping for Spain, Italy or France. It's cheap to fly there and I don't need to stay at fancy places. We live in Sweden, so most of the year it's very dark and very cold.

First we went to Belgrade (nice, but not relaxing and no swimming), then by nighttrain to Pristina in Kosovo, an ugly city in the middle of nowhere, with no swimming oppurtunities whatsoever and then by night flights via Istanbul to Bulgaria, where we got two nice days of sun and swimming. The week before our trip, he went on a swimming trip to Dubrovnik with his cousin. He's been traveling the world and is now into checking countries out that he hasn't visited before, and since he's got the money it doesn't matter whether the country is nice or not, he gets the kick out of being in a new country.

And that is definitely not the case for me.

I'm so sad he wasted our two precious weeks and I'm having a hard time getting over it. He doesn't understand, though he decided to pay for it all, when he saw me crying. What do you think - is the financial situation and our life experiences too far apart for this relationship to last? I'm I taking this too hard? He's a good person that I love, but I consider him very naive.

TL;DR Partner booked trip on precious together time to a place where only he wanted to go.

Boyfriend paid for vacation, and she only got two days of swimming and they had to stay in Kosovo for a few days ugh!

(In the comments she complained they �didn�t go to nice places�)

# ? Jun 27, 2018 07:15

Khazar-khum: Oct 22, 2008; Cat Army
2nd Battalion

LadyPictureShow posted:

Shitposting live from Istanbul! So I thought, why not search for that?

He's used to loads of money and free time. I'm not.

Boyfriend paid for vacation, and she only got two days of swimming and they had to stay in Kosovo for a few days ugh!

(In the comments she complained they �didn�t go to nice places�)

She didn't tell him where she wanted to go or what she wanted to do besides swim. You have to be vocal about things.

# ? Jun 27, 2018 07:25

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# ? May 9, 2024 09:45

Haifisch: Nov 13, 2010; Objection! I object! That was... objectionable!; Taco Defender

That's probably why she feels like neither of them really knows each other. She can't just ask him to have conversations about things, he should just know what she feels is missing in their relationship. Cue cycle of being upset because other people aren't mind-readers.

Really though, :laffo:

that she turned a cool trip into crying because she was hell-bent on swimming all the time and...apparently not wanting to do anything else or go anywhere that's not a swimming spot?

# ? Jun 27, 2018 07:30

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