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Where is the Wizarding World? Like, The Leaky Cauldron is just in the middle of London and muggles can’t see it (like a Hitchhiker’s Guide-style “Somebody Else’s Problem” field) but where is everything else physically located? Is the Wizarding world more like a separate dimension occupying the same physical space? That’s my biggest hang up with all this. Edit: Alaan posted:The answer is don’t think too hard cause it’s not a series about world building. Haha. So it seems. The characters are fun and all, but it really falls apart for me because the aren’t really rules for how the world works.
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Jun 27, 2018 05:31
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How is Quidditch even a sport? Why would any of the other players even bother when it essentially comes down to the super special guy playing his own independent game with the other team's super special guy? What kind of person would even bother being a goalie or scorer or whatever when that completely unrelated game of broom soccer doesn't really matter? If your team hasn't scored as many normal goals as the other team, that just means the actually important character has to prevent the other actually important character from catching the goofy gold ball while not catching it himself, which is weird and not very sporting.
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Jun 27, 2018 06:04
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Why are any of you presumably adult humans talking about harry potter
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Jun 27, 2018 06:21
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"Why would adults talk about poo poo meant for kids." -says adult with cartoon avatar
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Jun 27, 2018 06:40
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The first Harry Pooter was published 21 years ago. It's an adult now too
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Jun 27, 2018 08:27
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Mordiceius posted:Who here can answer my Harry Potter questions? Harry and Ron were fed up, the last prank the girls played on them was putting 60 second vanishing toads in the beds in their dorm. Prof. Dumbledore came to see but by the time he came to see what Harry and Ron had reported the toads had disappeared. When he went to ask Hermione and her crew they had forged a note saying they were at the library at the time of the pranking. Well that was it Harry and Ron had, had it and went to get their own back on the witty pranksters. They figured out that in the afternoon the crew would be in prof. Flitwicks classroom coming up with a new prank to play on an unsuspecting victim, a quick visit to Fred and George wouldn't be too much hassle to get just what they needed. Fred and George had exactly the type of thing they were looking for to pull a nasty prank. "it's called gassing gas" Fred explained as the Harry and Ron asked a strange "what's that?". "Its laughing gas but instead of laughing well-you kinda get the point." Harry and Ron bought 4 boxes and the instructions read "if in a rather big room get 4. If in a medium sized room get 3. If in a small room like a cabin or hagrids hut buy 2. Place the boxes in the corners of the room and get out, when your victims come in whisper "openus boxus" to release the invisible fumes into your victims system and enjouy the humor. Can last from 30 mins to 3 hours. Harry and Ron did as instructed and laid out the boxes making sure they were hidden for when it came to lunch break and the girls would be in there. The lunch bell went off. Harry and Ron skipped lunch so that they would get to the room earlier than the club. Soon after the girls had finished their lunch, they went into prof. Flitwicks room ready to discuss. Harry and Ron peeped in through the closed window and whispered "openus boxus" and with that it happened. About ten minutes later while Hermione was giving a speech about how to get itching ice cream to blend in with normal ice cream her stomach gave a loud rumble that made her pause and the other 3 giggle causing Luna to burp! They giggled some more at Luna's gas making Ginny burp twice as well and then Cho. "Honestly you 3 are being ridiculURRRP!" Hermione said as they all burst out laughing and belching. "Oh scuse me-URP!" she said "ha-ha URRP" he-he URRRPP" it carried on like this for a few minutes until Luna gave off a massive belch. "UUUUUUURRRRP" which stopped them all in their gassy tracks. Silence for a few minutes until POOOT as ginny ripped a nasty fart and soon followed by Hermione saying. "Ginny that's disguist-URP! PRRRRAARR" as she blushed a dark pink as they all laughed as Cho followed through with a rather squeaky fart. "URRP PPOOT PRRR URP POOOTT URRRP FRRRT PARP UURRP FRRRRP URP" was all you could hear for about ten minutes because break ended and they had to go to their class which wouldn't turn out well for Hermione who was closest to a box. Harry said the closer you are the longer the gas lasts, the others will probably stop gassing in a few minutes but Hermione will go for about an hour!" "good thing were in her class next" smirked Ron. Ginny's gas wasn't noticed much in her class as she only di silent but deadly's and little burps as Harry and Ron's prank wore off her. Cho was only noticed by her teacher (as she sat at the front) but only did small poots and regular sized burps which a few of her classmates noticed. Harry and Ron sped themselves to their next lesson knowing the humour they and the class would have. As they saw that Luna had joined their transfiguration class. "Double the fun" Harry whispered to Ron as they looked over at Luna and Hermione both struggling to hold it in as their stomachs gurgled. 5 minutes in and a loud but reasonably squeaky poot came from Hermione making the class turn their heads and look at her in disgust as she blushed. Just when they were about to turn back to what they were writing Luna gave off a rather loud belch and Hermione farted in surprise, blushing even more as she tried to get her work done even with her gas. "PPPPPAAAAAARRP" as everyone turned to look at Hermione as she burped once more, closely followed by Luna ripping a rather low wet fart. "RRRRRRPPP" "Urp" "FRTT" "PPPRRRAARRP" "PRRR" "URRRP" "RRRPP" Hermione went off like a stink bomb the whole class watching her as she blushed dark pink and let out a cute poot. "Uh Miss Granger would you like 5 minutes to leave the room?" Professer Magonnagal asked wafting the smell away from her. "buURT wont I miss PRRAARP some of the lessURP?" she asked gassily "Miss granger you've done 27 times more work than mister weasley-" "PPRR" "-here who has just managed to get into my class so I think you'll be fine" she said as Luna gave off her final raunchy fart closely followed by her last burp. Hermione left the room pooting on her way out one lifting up her skirt and blowing into Malfoys face. As the door closed you could still here the gigantic PPPPPPPRRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRP that she let off after holding it in for a while. After her gassing the corridor she came back in but still somehow managed to belch, burp and fart the whole lesson. Hermione decided to find who ever caused this embarrassment to her. Harry and Ron where called to Professor Dumbledore's office with Hermione and her club. Dumbledore said "You two used a device to prank these four I do believe" he said in a questioned voice. "You have no proof" Ron smirked. "Actually we do Hermione replied pulling out the boxes and showing Dumbledore her notepad with the calculation showing the charm to open the boxes were set to Harrys wand. "How many detentions do we have?" Harry asked. "none" said professor Dumbledore, "but you will have a taste of your own medicine in Hagrids Hut tonight" he said as the two boys stared at each other in horror. The girls laughing was soon stopped by the head teacher who said "as will you girls as you have been playing pranks all over this school." "Well you have no proof" said Ginny who carried on giggling. "Actually I do" said the wise professor who showed them all of their previous schemes that had been noted in Hermione's notebook. All four let of loud farts in fright knowing that this was not the end of their bad wind.
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Jun 27, 2018 10:23
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Enfys posted:How is Quidditch even a sport? This is dumb as gently caress, but I'll bite Any other goal scored in the game is 10 points. So if Team A scores 16 goals at 160 points, but Team B loving sucks at scoring goals and their dude catches the gold ball, then they still lose. Since there's no time limit to the game, it's reasonable to assume that the scores could get ludicrous, making the "useless players" actually not useless. Pretty sure they even talk about this when they're gushing over famous games at some point. Like just google it and do some math.
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Jun 27, 2018 12:31
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Mordiceius posted:"Why would adults talk about poo poo meant for kids." -says adult with cartoon avatar 7
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Jun 27, 2018 15:36
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pls explain all the plotholes in the children's book so i can accurately say that drumpf's healthcare bill is much like uhhhh snape
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Jun 27, 2018 16:25
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Let's only talk about serious things from serious books like Harry Dresden
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Jun 28, 2018 01:58
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Mordiceius posted:The characters are fun and all, but it really falls apart for me because the aren’t really rules for how the world works. it's a book for children, hope this helps
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Jun 28, 2018 02:07
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Robot Wendigo posted:Let's only talk about serious things from serious books like Harry Dresden I never read Harry Potter when it first came out in the US because I was 12 and reading much more serious literature like Piers Anthony novels.
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Jun 28, 2018 14:25
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I don’t think I’ve ever noped away from an author I enjoyed as a wee lad as hard as I have from Anthony. The writing isn’t great AND I am incredibly creeped out now!
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Jun 28, 2018 14:27
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Alaan posted:I don’t think I’ve ever noped away from an author I enjoyed as a wee lad as hard as I have from Anthony. The writing isn’t great AND I am incredibly creeped out now! I never know what to do, as a mod, when someone recommends a Piers Anthony novel
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Jun 28, 2018 14:39
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Hieronymous Alloy posted:I never know what to do, as a mod, when someone recommends a Piers Anthony novel I'd say quote the books at 'em but god, opening one of those again...
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Jun 28, 2018 14:46
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Hieronymous Alloy posted:I never know what to do, as a mod, when someone recommends a Piers Anthony novel 
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Jun 28, 2018 14:58
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StrixNebulosa posted:I'd say quote the books at 'em but god, opening one of those again... Exactly, that's the problem
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Jun 28, 2018 15:34
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Contact the FBI and have them added to a watch list?
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Jun 28, 2018 17:00
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Alaan posted:I don’t think I’ve ever noped away from an author I enjoyed as a wee lad as hard as I have from Anthony. The writing isn’t great AND I am incredibly creeped out now! I got into Piers Anthony as a kid because my mom was a huge fan and recommended them to me and one day I think I am gonna have to confront my mom about it
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Jun 28, 2018 17:23
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like, mom, why was your favorite Piers Anthony book the one with the explicit gang rape of a 12 year old girl who then goes on a quest to find a universe where she is allowed to gently caress her 30 year old boyfriend
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Jun 28, 2018 17:24
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Don't kink shame your mom, Mel.
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Jun 28, 2018 17:37
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You could always just link them this, it's got some choice morsels that can't be unread (given that it's Piers Anthony's actual, for real writing quoted there I feel like it goes without saying but it's probably  depending on your personal standards for such things) https://hradzka.livejournal.com/392471.html
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Jun 28, 2018 17:45
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I don't think I've ever felt more shame about reading anything, not Goosebumps, not Animorphs, not Star Wars novels, not a million Harry Turtledove potboilers, not The Last Battle by C.S. Lewis. 10-13 year old boys have bad taste is my only defence.
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Jun 28, 2018 18:04
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I dunno, even as a 12 or 13 year old I twigged on to the fact that there was something loving weird and uncomfortable about the book where a demon changed genders every time it had sex, so it had to sex itself up a bunch of times in the book to be male or female or whatever for any number of "plot reasons"
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Jun 28, 2018 18:06
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I remember my first signal something weird was up was when I was like "Why does every book spend so much time talking about centaur titties"
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Jun 28, 2018 18:13
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Franchescanado posted:Don't kink shame your mom, Mel. The weirdest thing about all of this is that you'd think Mel's mom would already know the color of his panties.
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Jun 28, 2018 18:23
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So for fun and morbid interest, I went digging to figure out the name of the book I just referenced. Turns out it's the annual classic "If I Pay Thee Not In Gold" which, hilariously, was a) co-written with Mercedes Lackey and b) was actually viewed as refreshingly forward thinking for its depiction of women and sexuality in fantasy. Yikes, the early 90's were bad. Like, my memory of the book is super spotty at best, and I'm not 100% sure I ever actually got all the way to the end of it, but I'm pretty sure there was something about only women having magical powers, but some women didn't, so they turned them into what were effectively prostitutes destined to pleasure the male slaves of the country or some such nonsense. I do remember the main character could only avoid execution by sexually conquering the most majestic male in the kingdom or something. Nothing screams "feminism" like having to save your life by having sex with a man. Have fun unpacking that one, thread, it is a gem of probably well-intentioned but shockingly tone-deaf 90s totally-not-erotica-just-fantasy. edit: oh this is just the cherry on the top of the cake: http://www.mercedeslackey.com/books/ifipay.html MockingQuantum fucked around with this message at 18:37 on Jun 28, 2018 |
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Jun 28, 2018 18:34
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MockingQuantum posted:You could always just link them this, it's got some choice morsels that can't be unread (given that it's Piers Anthony's actual, for real writing quoted there I feel like it goes without saying but it's probably what the gently caress
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Jun 28, 2018 20:44
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MockingQuantum posted:You could always just link them this, it's got some choice morsels that can't be unread (given that it's Piers Anthony's actual, for real writing quoted there I feel like it goes without saying but it's probably "man could not force a woman, unless he was married to her; he could only do what she wished" No! No no no! Not how marriage works!
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Jun 28, 2018 21:35
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In fact, they were lovers, in the truest sense, age no barrier. She's loving five!
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Jun 28, 2018 21:37
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The most hosed up thing about Piers Anthony is that I found his books for the first time in the elementary school book fair, where I bought Demons Don't Dream and read it twice because I was young and loved the idea of a videogame you could go into and live out.
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Jun 28, 2018 21:42
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Mordiceius posted:Where is the Wizarding World? Like, The Leaky Cauldron is just in the middle of London and muggles can’t see it (like a Hitchhiker’s Guide-style “Somebody Else’s Problem” field) but where is everything else physically located? Hogwarts is in Scotland. The Ministry of Magic is in London. There are wizards and witches everywhere.
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Jun 28, 2018 22:42
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books for people who were touched as a child
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Jun 29, 2018 00:03
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or are touched in the head
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Jun 29, 2018 00:34
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but enough about my ex,
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Jun 29, 2018 04:42
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I bounced hard off Piers Anthony's Xanth series as a teenager, but I remember loving his "Incarnations of Immortality" series. I'm afraid to go back.... are those bad too? D:
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Jun 29, 2018 04:49
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Mordiceius posted:I bounced hard off Piers Anthony's Xanth series as a teenager, but I remember loving his "Incarnations of Immortality" series. I'm afraid to go back.... are those bad too? D: Like the first one is OK. And then they just get worse. Like real bad.
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Jun 29, 2018 14:42
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I'm going to go ahead and say that anything written by a guy who spends that much time explaining why it's actually good to have sex with 5 year olds is bad.
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Jun 29, 2018 14:44
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Enfys posted:I'm going to go ahead and say that anything written by a guy who spends that much time explaining why it's actually good to have sex with 5 year olds is bad. poor nabokov
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Jun 29, 2018 14:57
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Ben Nevis posted:Like the first one is OK. And then they just get worse. Like real bad. drat. I binged through the whole Incarnations series in like 3 weeks back when I was 15. Was hoping to go back through them someday. Guess I should avoid that.
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Jun 29, 2018 15:02
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