the rural planning thread

The Something Awful Forums > Main > BYOB: BYOB BYOB BOYB BBOY YOBB YBOB BBYO?? > the rural planning thread

«‹›2 »

Piso Mojado

I think we have too many fields and we could probably just do with less

# ? Jul 4, 2018 01:13

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 15, 2024 00:07

Manifisto

I get it, trees are classic. everybody loves trees. or do they? are they really that great, or are people just brainwashed into liking them because they're ubiquitous? I say we mix it up a little. let's have some tall sharp spikes for a change. or maybe some immense trembling cilia, that's got to be calming, right? um, or maybe some . . . orbs? orbs are cool, yes?

# ? Jul 4, 2018 02:38

Pot Smoke Phoenix: Smoke 'em if you gottem!

There's that *sniff* smell, you know what I mean? There's no sewage smell, or someone cooking Death in a stew- and where's the yelling and noise?!?! How can these people sleep without an occasional "gently caress YOU, BUDDY!"

I think my lungs started working again

# ? Jul 4, 2018 03:23

Moo Cowabunga: [Office Worker.

I am

a rural resident

and I agree with the op

Platinum User Pot Smoke Phoenix!

VANISHER

HEATHER PAPPS

https://giant.gfycat.com/WellgroomedImperfectHaddock.webm the vanisher

# ? Jul 4, 2018 03:32

Farecoal: There he go

i fervently believe that we need a light rail line between my house and Ms. McIntyre's! I've already calculated it out, and with the projected ridership of 1 per week (2 if Ms. McIntyre makes her cookies) we could stand to recoup expenses on the project, and perhaps even make a profit, in only 500 years!

# ? Jul 4, 2018 03:45

Kthulhu5000: by R. Guyovich

Piso Mojado posted:

I think we have too many fields and we could probably just do with less

I'm thinking we get ahead of the curve and into that vertical farming business. Cut the excess fields out of the ground and pile them on top of each other. I think that's how it works?

----------------
This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

# ? Jul 4, 2018 06:26

Macnult

Kthulhu5000 posted:

I'm thinking we get ahead of the curve and into that vertical farming business. Cut the excess fields out of the ground and pile them on top of each other. I think that's how it works?

Pile them using a clever parking garage design

# ? Jul 4, 2018 07:02

Macnult

[Staring off into the horizon after hard days work]
"I still don't miss when these were fields"

# ? Jul 4, 2018 07:04

Slush Garbo: FALSE SLACK
is
BETTER
than
NO SLACK

Piso Mojado posted:

I think we have too many fields and we could probably just do with less

hmm

how about mixed-use fields. pocket parks, yurtrises, and unban gardening walkable greenspace food jungles

# ? Jul 4, 2018 12:47

Slush Garbo: FALSE SLACK
is
BETTER
than
NO SLACK

Macnult posted:

[Staring off into the horizon after hard days work]
"I still don't miss when these were fields"

this used to be ancient lakebed, y'know. far as the eye could see...

# ? Jul 4, 2018 12:59

Pot Smoke Phoenix: Smoke 'em if you gottem!

Yurts, as far as the eye can see

https://i.imgur.com/QKTkerO.mp4
_{_{Sig elements by Manifisto and Heather Papps}}
Sig File protected by SigLock. do NOT steal this sig!

# ? Jul 4, 2018 15:25

Farecoal: There he go

locally sourced, sustainably harvested tractor fuel

# ? Jul 4, 2018 16:00

Manifisto

Farecoal posted:

locally sourced, sustainably harvested tractor fuel

I've tried milking tractors but they're shy, especially if your hands are cold

# ? Jul 4, 2018 17:52

Kthulhu5000: by R. Guyovich

Macnult posted:

Pile them using a clever parking garage design

A parking garage?

Not
In
My
Back
Forty
Amigo

----------------
This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

# ? Jul 4, 2018 19:35

Twenty Four

Traveling across the country side, building a small shed every quarter to half mile or so, to offset the field to building ratio.

# ? Jul 4, 2018 21:13

Business Gorillas

Hello I'm from the goblin lobby and I'm wondering if any of you fine fellows have considered flooding your fields and turning them into swamps?

# ? Jul 5, 2018 17:43

alnilam

Hugh Malone posted:

this used to be ancient lakebed, y'know. far as the eye could see...

# ? Jul 5, 2018 18:31

alnilam

one upping the guy who remembers when this was all forest by remembering when it was all old growth forest with megafauna before humans arrived and altered the ecosystem

# ? Jul 5, 2018 19:23

alnilam

rural planner version of robert moses: hmm yues barbed wire will contain livestock herds and prevent those lawless bison and cattle herders from wandering all over the dang place, finally there shall be ORDER

rural version of jane jacobs looks on in anguish

# ? Jul 5, 2018 19:28

Twenty Four

*Official county rural planner gesturing over a huge expanse of land, talking to his survey team*

"This 10 square miles over that way? Cattle guards. All of it. We're just gonna fill that whole dang area up with nonstop back to back cattle guards."

# ? Jul 6, 2018 01:05

google THIS

Midwest Rural Planner: So we'll have some cornfields and-HURK

(He keels over from a massive heart attack. No one can find his written notes so they just go with what they have.)

# ? Jul 6, 2018 01:33

Nah!!

Replace all rural areas with billboards that say NO FARMS NO FOOD imo

# ? Jul 6, 2018 05:57

Slush Garbo: FALSE SLACK
is
BETTER
than
NO SLACK

i hear the johnsons are having a barn razing saturday

# ? Jul 7, 2018 03:25

Randy Travesty: PHANTOM QUEEN

google THIS posted:

Midwest Rural Planner: So we'll have some cornfields and-HURK

(He keels over from a massive heart attack. No one can find his written notes so they just go with what they have.)

# ? Jul 7, 2018 17:10

Randy Travesty: PHANTOM QUEEN

Folks, I think it's time we embark on a plan of, erm... Rural renewal. That's it! Rural renewal. We're going to rid ourselves of the undesirable criminal element* and bring in a more modern vibe to attract the young professionals** this place needs. I mean, imagine: FRESHLY PACKED dirt roads; pond water pumped directly into your house instead of that terrible Artesian well water; septic tanks above ground as water features right next to your house instead of buried 100 yards behind the old pond dam. It'll be stupendous.

*Cows
**Meth farmers

# ? Jul 7, 2018 17:15

ferroque

a plow in every hand, a dip in every lip

# ? Jul 7, 2018 17:33

ryonguy

rural planning is complaining about people who don't like cow poo poo being sprayed everywhere but then sucking the cock of every company who'll build a warehouse with $11 an hour jobs that ruins half the fields around it with flood diversion

# ? Jul 7, 2018 23:01

Jedrick: There he goes. One of God's own prototypes. Some kind of high-powered mutant never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die.
Smoke weed every day.

I would like to present the following to the committee:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hvoagWSOw_Y

# ? Jul 8, 2018 00:27

alnilam

Jedrick posted:

I would like to present the following to the committee:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hvoagWSOw_Y

lol

# ? Jul 8, 2018 02:37

Farecoal: There he go

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tb63PdPweDc

# ? Jul 8, 2018 04:03

FutonForensic

Hi thread. I'm a Rural Planning Engineer with 8 years of experience, living in a Scandinavian country that does a much better job of it than whatever shithole you live in. Suck my drat nuts, buddy! Anyway, I want to provide a little bit of insight into what happens in a typical rural reformation.

This is a fairly standard independent farmstead. The problem with these installations is the lack of traffic; it lacks amenities that a forward-thinking populace (not yours) will make use of on a daily basis. First we add a Pizza Hut for attractive, high-energy dining:

Once we draw in the crowds, we boost our retained consumer rate by providing a premium-caliber shopping mall:

A second Pizza Hut is added in case the first one runs out of pizza

Finally, bike lanes:

There you go. A modern metropolis in just four easy ste

# ? Jul 8, 2018 04:28

Luvcow: One day nearer spring

FutonForensic posted:

Hi thread. I'm a Rural Planning Engineer with 8 years of experience, living in a Scandinavian country that does a much better job of it than whatever shithole you live in. Suck my drat nuts, buddy! Anyway, I want to provide a little bit of insight into what happens in a typical rural reformation.

This is a fairly standard independent farmstead. The problem with these installations is the lack of traffic; it lacks amenities that a forward-thinking populace (not yours) will make use of on a daily basis. First we add a Pizza Hut for attractive, high-energy dining:

Once we draw in the crowds, we boost our retained consumer rate by providing a premium-caliber shopping mall:

A second Pizza Hut is added in case the first one runs out of pizza

Finally, bike lanes:

There you go. A modern metropolis in just four easy ste

# ? Jul 8, 2018 04:31

Macnult

FutonForensic posted:

Hi thread. I'm a Rural Planning Engineer with 8 years of experience, living in a Scandinavian country that does a much better job of it than whatever shithole you live in. Suck my drat nuts, buddy! Anyway, I want to provide a little bit of insight into what happens in a typical rural reformation.

This is a fairly standard independent farmstead. The problem with these installations is the lack of traffic; it lacks amenities that a forward-thinking populace (not yours) will make use of on a daily basis. First we add a Pizza Hut for attractive, high-energy dining:

Once we draw in the crowds, we boost our retained consumer rate by providing a premium-caliber shopping mall:

A second Pizza Hut is added in case the first one runs out of pizza

Finally, bike lanes:

There you go. A modern metropolis in just four easy ste

# ? Jul 8, 2018 22:10

google THIS

FutonForensic posted:

Hi thread. I'm a Rural Planning Engineer with 8 years of experience, living in a Scandinavian country that does a much better job of it than whatever shithole you live in. Suck my drat nuts, buddy! Anyway, I want to provide a little bit of insight into what happens in a typical rural reformation.

This is a fairly standard independent farmstead. The problem with these installations is the lack of traffic; it lacks amenities that a forward-thinking populace (not yours) will make use of on a daily basis. First we add a Pizza Hut for attractive, high-energy dining:

Once we draw in the crowds, we boost our retained consumer rate by providing a premium-caliber shopping mall:

A second Pizza Hut is added in case the first one runs out of pizza

Finally, bike lanes:

There you go. A modern metropolis in just four easy ste

# ? Jul 9, 2018 00:27

Piso Mojado

FutonForensic posted:

Hi thread. I'm a Rural Planning Engineer with 8 years of experience, living in a Scandinavian country that does a much better job of it than whatever shithole you live in. Suck my drat nuts, buddy! Anyway, I want to provide a little bit of insight into what happens in a typical rural reformation.

This is a fairly standard independent farmstead. The problem with these installations is the lack of traffic; it lacks amenities that a forward-thinking populace (not yours) will make use of on a daily basis. First we add a Pizza Hut for attractive, high-energy dining:

Once we draw in the crowds, we boost our retained consumer rate by providing a premium-caliber shopping mall:

A second Pizza Hut is added in case the first one runs out of pizza

Finally, bike lanes:

There you go. A modern metropolis in just four easy ste

# ? Jul 9, 2018 01:16

peanut

Requesting a Subway in the fallow field, with a Starbuck's booth.

# ? Jul 9, 2018 11:36

ulvir

FutonForensic posted:

Hi thread. I'm a Rural Planning Engineer with 8 years of experience, living in a Scandinavian country that does a much better job of it than whatever shithole you live in. Suck my drat nuts, buddy! Anyway, I want to provide a little bit of insight into what happens in a typical rural reformation.

This is a fairly standard independent farmstead. The problem with these installations is the lack of traffic; it lacks amenities that a forward-thinking populace (not yours) will make use of on a daily basis. First we add a Pizza Hut for attractive, high-energy dining:

Once we draw in the crowds, we boost our retained consumer rate by providing a premium-caliber shopping mall:

A second Pizza Hut is added in case the first one runs out of pizza

Finally, bike lanes:

There you go. A modern metropolis in just four easy ste

the norwegian version of this is a petrol station and "mall" where a supermarket, unemployment office and the local bank is housed (but nothing else) plus maybe one traffic light if they�re daring

# ? Jul 9, 2018 18:00