2019-2023 Marine Thread: Maybe the 2017 Army thread with a new coat of paint

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Internet VFW > 2019-2023 Marine Thread: Maybe the 2017 Army thread with a new coat of paint

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its curtains for Kevin: Nov 14, 2011; Fruit is proof that the gods exist and love us.

Just kidding!

Life is meaningless

I'm pretty sure that Mustang would unironically suck dick if his unit told him 10% of the cum was gonna get invested in his TSP

# ? Jul 11, 2018 23:11

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# ? May 25, 2024 14:57

Steezo: Jun 16, 2003; Now go away, or I shall taunt you a second time!

all apologies posted:

I cant find the Vet gamer thread. Anyone else see it?

Also hooah

lol :|

You want the "enrichment centrifuge battle royale" thread unless the name has changed. This is the Army career LP and mafia thread.

# ? Jul 11, 2018 23:11

Mustang: Jun 18, 2006; “We don’t really know where this goes — and I’m not sure we really care.”

Sucking today's dick seems to be an Army tradition

# ? Jul 11, 2018 23:13

McNally: Sep 13, 2007; Ask me about Proposition 305

Do you like muskets?

Mustang posted:

Sucking today's dick seems to be an Army tradition

My regards to the general's daughter.

# ? Jul 11, 2018 23:17

Viva Miriya: Jan 9, 2007

McNally posted:

Right before you commit to getting out of the Army, you're going to go on a blind date that goes really well. You're going to end up knocking her up and marrying her because it's the Right Thing to Do.

That's when you're going to discover that her father is a flag officer and you decide to stay in the Army, because once you're the son-in-law of a general, things will probably get better.

Things won't get better.

One day you're going to find yourself a major doing some battalion staff job you hate with a miserable home life, working late as often as possible to stay away from your wife nagging you for not being as high-speed as her father (who had made lieutenant colonel at a younger age than you, Major Mustang, are currently).

You find yourself back at NTC where you've spent so much time you've genuinely considered buying a house because, gently caress, you're gonna be there anyway. While there some not terribly unattractive SPC catches your eye. Happenstance leads the two of you spending a lot of time together and eventually you have an affair with her.

Word gets out. Your wife leaves you. Your career is in tatters, made worse by the fact that your father-in-law now hates your guts.

But you're too close to retirement to end it now.

# ? Jul 11, 2018 23:53

EBB: Feb 15, 2005

So Mustang now that you're no poo poo never getting out, what are your bullets for your next OER support form?

# ? Jul 12, 2018 00:12

Viva Miriya: Jan 9, 2007

Mustang posted:

Sucking today's dick seems to be an Army tradition

# ? Jul 12, 2018 00:14

spacetoaster: Feb 10, 2014

mlmp08 posted:

Unless you're literally being transported inside a secret vehicle direct to a secret holding facility, then you're living inside that secret space 24/7 including secret cots and secret shitters, the prohibition on cell phones is just becuase "gently caress you" or "those Millenials and their facebooks!"

# ? Jul 12, 2018 00:22

EBB: Feb 15, 2005

The best thing is with that being on the image server now I can give it to anybody.

# ? Jul 12, 2018 00:36

boop the snoot: Jun 3, 2016

Yeah but who really deserves it more than Maj Mustang?

# ? Jul 12, 2018 00:37

Mr. Nice!: Oct 13, 2005; bone shaking.
soul baking.

You're loving staff god damned S4 and should be wearing your bosses rank if anyone gives you any god damned amounts of poo poo for having your cell phone while on a training mission. Like actual battalion poo poo may need to be taken care of, and your cell phone is how you're notified so anyone that has fuckall to say can talk to your XO.

At least that's how it would work in the navy because our leadership would support us.

# ? Jul 12, 2018 00:58

mlmp08: Jul 11, 2004; Prepare for my priapic projectile's exalted penetration; Nap Ghost

Navy leadership: world-renowned for supporting staff officers. The enlisted guys serving food to nobility or being flushed out the side of a ship to sea, less so.

# ? Jul 12, 2018 01:01

Nice and hot piss: Feb 1, 2004

boop the snoot posted:

Yeah but who really deserves it more than Maj Mustang?

gently caress that. Shoot for major general

# ? Jul 12, 2018 01:06

Vasudus: May 30, 2003

It breaks my heart a little bit when I see officers not abusing every single perk that their rank affords.

I mean sure, I hate the fact that they had those perks. But having them and not using them is a tragedy.

# ? Jul 12, 2018 01:15

Mr. Nice!: Oct 13, 2005; bone shaking.
soul baking.

mlmp08 posted:

Navy leadership: world-renowned for supporting staff officers. The enlisted guys serving food to nobility or being flushed out the side of a ship to sea, less so.

The navy command structure is a little bit different, but when a staff officer from squadron is riding a ship for training or whatever reason they have the weight of the full bird behind him them. It generally follows that any enlisted rolling with them have the same. There is definitely a larger divide between junior enlisted, senior enlisted, and officers, though.

I really enjoy reading the army thread and observing the different flavor of stupidity.

# ? Jul 12, 2018 02:04

Wasabi the J: Jan 23, 2008; MOM WAS RIGHT

Counterpoint: Navy Chiefs are unrepentant douches.

loving Christ I'm so mad thinking about the Chiefs I had to work with. And their stupid goddamn tradition, and book.

Like most senior NCOs are douches, but chiefs take that poo poo to a new level. I say this as someone who loved militaria, traditions, and had other goofy ideals about the military growing up.

# ? Jul 12, 2018 15:13

Mr. Nice!: Oct 13, 2005; bone shaking.
soul baking.

Wasabi the J posted:

Counterpoint: Navy Chiefs are unrepentant douches.

loving Christ I'm so mad thinking about the Chiefs I had to work with. And their stupid goddamn tradition, and book.

Like most senior NCOs are douches, but chiefs take that poo poo to a new level. I say this as someone who loved militaria, traditions, and had other goofy ideals about the military growing up.

There's a reason there's only one SNCO emote (and I think maybe one the only milgoon one period) :chiefsay:

For those that don't know, in the navy once you make E7 you get admitted to the clubhouse. Once you're in the treefort, you're essentially shielded from anything ever happening to you again unless you really piss off an officer above you. Even then, the chief's mess has a way of protecting their own. They wear the same uniform as officers with just a different insignia, and they like to believe they're senior or equal to anyone O-3 and below.

They have separate dining and berthing facilities from the rest of the enlisted and try really hard to make it seem like they're the ones doing everything when in reality most just hang out in their lounge all day.

# ? Jul 12, 2018 15:33

Wasabi the J: Jan 23, 2008; MOM WAS RIGHT

I mean it's no different than what other branches do but they have the nerve to codify it, and act with a level of impunity that a SFC could only dream of.

# ? Jul 12, 2018 15:42

SimonCat: Aug 12, 2016; by Nyc_Tattoo; College Slice

How are Warrant Officers in the Navy?

# ? Jul 12, 2018 16:00

Wasabi the J: Jan 23, 2008; MOM WAS RIGHT

SimonCat posted:

How are Warrant Officers in the Navy?

From the sailors I knew, I get the impression they're the model of what chiefs wish they were.

# ? Jul 12, 2018 16:10

Soulex: Apr 1, 2009; Cacati in mano e pigliati a schiaffi!

Wasabi the J posted:

From the sailors I knew, I get the impression they're the model of what chiefs wish they were.

Just the same here

# ? Jul 12, 2018 16:23

Kaliber: Jun 17, 2005

Mr. Nice! posted:

There's a reason there's only one SNCO emote (and I think maybe one the only milgoon one period)

For those that don't know, in the navy once you make E7 you get admitted to the clubhouse. Once you're in the treefort, you're essentially shielded from anything ever happening to you again unless you really piss off an officer above you. Even then, the chief's mess has a way of protecting their own. They wear the same uniform as officers with just a different insignia, and they like to believe they're senior or equal to anyone O-3 and below.

They have separate dining and berthing facilities from the rest of the enlisted and try really hard to make it seem like they're the ones doing everything when in reality most just hang out in their lounge all day.

What's that poo poo I hear about PO1's getting hazed by Chiefs until they pin when they get selected to be a Chief? Can you just tell them to gently caress off?

# ? Jul 12, 2018 17:48

mlmp08: Jul 11, 2004; Prepare for my priapic projectile's exalted penetration; Nap Ghost

I once got a couple of chiefs riled up, largely on accident, because I was asking how chiefs compared to Army NCOs when I was briefly on a cruiser. They kept trying to explain how it was different. When I finally said "ok, so you're legally all E-7s, but you have a hallway only you can walk through and a social club?" they got proper pissed/quiet and just dropped it. I was only partially trying to be an rear end in a top hat at the time.

# ? Jul 12, 2018 17:52

Mr. Nice!: Oct 13, 2005; bone shaking.
soul baking.

Kaliber posted:

What's that poo poo I hear about PO1's getting hazed by Chiefs until they pin when they get selected to be a Chief? Can you just tell them to gently caress off?

while you can skip out on the bullshit hazing, you will never be a "chief" if you do. Despite wearing the uniform and rank, you cannot go into the clubhouse and all the chiefs will call you an E7 instead.

On the subject of navy warrants - they're generally solid subject matter experts and know what they're doing. Navy doesn't have WO1 and starts at CWO2. You have to already be a chief before you can even put in (LDO is a program where E6+ can direct commission as an O-1 and basically do the same jobs as the warrants). There aren't very many warrant dirtbags, but a few exist. The description of the warrants in the navy as the ideal that chiefs see themselves as is pretty much spot on.

edit: vvvvvvvvvvv

CommieGIR posted:

Air Force Chiefs are hit and miss. Some genuinely are very good and awesome leaders.

.....others are just douchebags racing to get the maximum amount of retirement pay possible at the expense of every and all airman they can find, drat the consequences.

gotta remember, we're talking about SNCO chiefs, not warrant officer chiefs. Navy warrants are pretty solid.

Mr. Nice! fucked around with this message at 20:30 on Jul 12, 2018

# ? Jul 12, 2018 18:57

CommieGIR: Aug 22, 2006; The blue glow is a feature, not a bug; Pillbug

Wasabi the J posted:

Counterpoint: Navy Chiefs are unrepentant douches.

loving Christ I'm so mad thinking about the Chiefs I had to work with. And their stupid goddamn tradition, and book.

Like most senior NCOs are douches, but chiefs take that poo poo to a new level. I say this as someone who loved militaria, traditions, and had other goofy ideals about the military growing up.

Air Force Chiefs are hit and miss. Some genuinely are very good and awesome leaders.

.....others are just douchebags racing to get the maximum amount of retirement pay possible at the expense of every and all airman they can find, drat the consequences.

Mr. Nice! posted:

gotta remember, we're talking about SNCO chiefs, not warrant officer chiefs. Navy warrants are pretty solid.

So was I. We don't have WO anymore :smith:

CommieGIR fucked around with this message at 21:36 on Jul 12, 2018

# ? Jul 12, 2018 20:28

spacetoaster: Feb 10, 2014

Wasabi the J posted:

Counterpoint: Navy Chiefs are unrepentant douches.

loving Christ I'm so mad thinking about the Chiefs I had to work with. And their stupid goddamn tradition, and book.

Like most senior NCOs are douches, but chiefs take that poo poo to a new level. I say this as someone who loved militaria, traditions, and had other goofy ideals about the military growing up.

Would you like me to send you some tobacco? On a tin plate?

# ? Jul 13, 2018 01:49

maffew buildings: Apr 29, 2009; too dumb to be probated; not too dumb to be autobanned

Navy SNCO culture is a definite reason I haven't looked in to staying in the Navy. It's loving ridiculous. Nice didn't even get to how they select who makes E-7, another can of dumb

# ? Jul 13, 2018 02:12

spacetoaster: Feb 10, 2014

Is this the loving navy thread now? :argh:

# ? Jul 13, 2018 02:16

McNally: Sep 13, 2007; Ask me about Proposition 305

Do you like muskets?

spacetoaster posted:

Is this the loving navy thread now?

Army Megathread - Navy things

# ? Jul 13, 2018 02:33

Naked Bear: Apr 15, 2007; Boners was recorded before a studio audience that was alive!

The Navy is basically just the Army but in the water, you know.

# ? Jul 13, 2018 02:56

Aranan: May 21, 2007; Release the Kraken

Heh... Seamen

# ? Jul 13, 2018 03:17

Flying_Crab: Apr 12, 2002

Aranan posted:

Heh... Seamen

# ? Jul 13, 2018 03:27

LtCol J. Krusinski: May 7, 2013; by Fluffdaddy

Mr. Nice! posted:

edit: vvvvvvvvvvv

gotta remember, we're talking about SNCO chiefs, not warrant officer chiefs. Navy warrants are pretty solid.

In the USAF chiefs are our E-9�s.. and we have very bad SNCO�s. Really, really, really, bad SNCO�s. Our chiefs tend to exemplify this. Good chiefs are a rarity, terrible is the norm.

# ? Jul 13, 2018 04:31

Valtonen: May 13, 2014; Tanks still suck but you don't gotta hand it to the Axis either.

All services should cap e-ranks to 5. After e5 if you want to still stay in go O or take a cod-style Prestige rank and get busted to e1

Edit: your pay would go up of course

# ? Jul 13, 2018 05:04

spacetoaster: Feb 10, 2014

Valtonen posted:

All services should cap e-ranks to 5. After e5 if you want to still stay in go O or take a cod-style Prestige rank and get busted to e1

Edit: your pay would go up of course

Used to have that system. Specialist First Class bitches.

# ? Jul 13, 2018 05:10

Wasabi the J: Jan 23, 2008; MOM WAS RIGHT

spacetoaster posted:

Used to have that system. Specialist First Class bitches.

I unironically wanted to find a Velcro specialist first class

# ? Jul 13, 2018 08:01

SimonCat: Aug 12, 2016; by Nyc_Tattoo; College Slice

Wasabi the J posted:

I unironically wanted to find a Velcro specialist first class

That's a Spec 5.

# ? Jul 13, 2018 08:08

Flikken: Oct 23, 2009; 10,363 snaps and not a playoff win to show for it

SimonCat posted:

That's a Spec 5.

My uncle used to be a spec 5, worked in a shop that was run by a corporal until the Army eliminated that rank and made all of the spec 5s Sergeants and suddenly that corporal was out ranked by everyone that used to work for him. He apparently didn't take it well.

My uncle then went on to be a Warrant.

# ? Jul 13, 2018 09:33

spacetoaster: Feb 10, 2014

Flikken posted:

made all of the spec 5s Sergeants

That must have been a weird rear end time.

# ? Jul 13, 2018 13:36

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# ? May 25, 2024 14:57

EBB: Feb 15, 2005

Flikken posted:

My uncle used to be a spec 5, worked in a shop that was run by a corporal until the Army eliminated that rank and made all of the spec 5s Sergeants and suddenly that corporal was out ranked by everyone that used to work for him. He apparently didn't take it well.

My uncle then went on to be a Warrant.

owned

# ? Jul 13, 2018 15:09

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Internet VFW > 2019-2023 Marine Thread: Maybe the 2017 Army thread with a new coat of paint

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