2017-18 Ben Roethlisberger Memorial Douchebag of the Year Contest - FINAL VOTE NOW!!

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > The Football Funhouse > 2017-18 Ben Roethlisberger Memorial Douchebag of the Year Contest - FINAL VOTE NOW!!

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seiferguy: Jun 9, 2005; FLAWED
INTUITION; Toilet Rascal

Spoeank posted:

I'm dying that a person so lecherous he lost his drat team is gonna lose in the second round

That's just how strong A New Empathy is, my dude.

# ? Jul 12, 2018 21:33

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# ? Jun 3, 2024 17:32

Grittybeard: Mar 29, 2010; Bad, very bad!

I totally agree that Pete is a douche, but being a ridiculous conspiracy theory MRA dingbat doesn't quite push him past the hump of Jerry Richardson. First off for being Jerry Richardson, second for even contemplating that statue, third for apparently making it a part of the sale that the statue has to stay, and before any of that being a gigantic creeping son of a bitch to the point where the NFL (the NFL!) forced him to sell his team.

He was also the self appointed bad guy during CBA arguments, he's pretty openly racist just short of the Bob McNair level, and man.

Keep the statue, turn the panther around so it's mauling Jerry.

e: Also worth noting that Richardson agreed to sell suspiciously early, in hopes of keeping the worst things out of court during discovery.

Grittybeard fucked around with this message at 22:07 on Jul 12, 2018

# ? Jul 12, 2018 22:05

Ches Neckbeard: Dec 3, 2005; You're all garbage, back up the truck BACK IT UP!

I don't buy that Richardson was forced out. He was embarrassed enough he knew he'd take a loving bath if he kept it. Dan loving Snyder, a man who tried to loving sex traffic and pimp out his cheer squad is still an owner. There is no getting forced out unless you personally offend enough of them.

# ? Jul 12, 2018 22:08

Grittybeard: Mar 29, 2010; Bad, very bad!

Being a pimp is what ownership is all about though, these guys can live with that type of scandal.

Also there's an actual layer of separation there, he had a fall guy. It's hard to have a fall guy when you're the one creeping. I think you were sold a false bill of goods in this matchup when you said you were sold on Pete Carroll, which is actually a very Pete Carroll thing so if your vote is the difference it's kind of apt.

Grittybeard fucked around with this message at 22:18 on Jul 12, 2018

# ? Jul 12, 2018 22:16

Zurreco: Dec 27, 2004; Cutty approves.

Richardson would win hands down of this was the 2018 Aaron Hernandez Memorial Piece of poo poo of the Year Contest. Sadly, we are here to discuss douchebags.

# ? Jul 12, 2018 23:25

Grittybeard: Mar 29, 2010; Bad, very bad!

Zurreco posted:

Richardson would win hands down of this was the 2018 Aaron Hernandez Memorial Piece of poo poo of the Year Contest. Sadly, we are here to discuss douchebags.

You have been making this argument for years and have been outvoted for years though.

2018 is the Zurreco time!

# ? Jul 12, 2018 23:34

nerve: Jan 2, 2011; SKA SUCKS

Pete is totally a douche! But Jerry Richardson is a bigger douche. He settled with 4 different women over allegations of sexual harassment. He would sexualize every woman in the place and tell them to fuckin dance for him. He had to sell his NFL franchise over it. Pete Carroll will be coaching this fall. And in the end, what he got out of it is his statue by the stadium and 2 billion dollars. gently caress Jerry Richardson.

# ? Jul 12, 2018 23:40

Crescent Wrench: Sep 30, 2005; The truth is usually just an excuse for a lack of imagination.; Grimey Drawer

Your grandfather, your second father, your second husband, your friend, your boyfriend, or something else? No, it's just the douchebag Jerry Richardson.

# ? Jul 13, 2018 02:10

Zurreco: Dec 27, 2004; Cutty approves.

Grittybeard posted:

You have been making this argument for years and have been outvoted for years though.

2018 is the Zurreco time!

You're not wrong, but the point stands. Every year the rules get tighter and tighter to reduce this whole "evil vs douche" discussion and it will have to come to a head eventually.

# ? Jul 13, 2018 06:20

King Hong Kong: Nov 6, 2009; For we'll fight with a vim
that is dead sure to win.

Zurreco for having some of the worst opinions in this thread.

# ? Jul 13, 2018 09:19

Chichevache: Feb 17, 2010; One of the funniest posters in GIP.

Just not intentionally.

Zurreco posted:

Richardson would win hands down of this was the 2018 Aaron Hernandez Memorial Piece of poo poo of the Year Contest. Sadly, we are here to discuss douchebags.

Talk to your monitor

# ? Jul 13, 2018 15:48

seiferguy: Jun 9, 2005; FLAWED
INTUITION; Toilet Rascal

Gonna admit my homerism (or something? I want Carroll fired as the coach of my team) is making me vote Carroll over Richardson.

# ? Jul 13, 2018 18:05

Leperflesh: May 17, 2007

Jerry Richardson wins! Defeating Pete Carroll by a very narrow margin of 31-27! Quite a nailbiter there.

Next matchup is
Jerry Jones vs. ESPN!

Leperflesh posted:

Jerry Jones:
Jerral Wayne Jones (born October 13, 1942) is an American businessman, best known for being owner of the National Football League (NFL)'s Dallas Cowboys since 1989.

The cowboys are the most financially lucrative team with profits of $350M annually, despite sucking rear end for a really long time and having their self-claimed and always highly dubious monicker "America's team" de-facto usurped by the Pats. So Jones is special even among the billionaire's club that is NFL ownership. And not just in financial terms: he's essentially the ringleader of that gang, wielding the most influence and power at the table.

So his douchebaggery has an outsized effect.

Incoherence posted:
I'm not sure if we're just rolling all of the anthem-protest stuff into NFL Owners, but if not, here's a nomination for Jerry Jones:

me, in october posted:
Jerry Jones two weeks ago: kneels alongside his team during the national anthem.

Jerry Jones yesterday: "if we are disrespecting the flag, we will not play".

https://www.washingtonpost.com/news...m=.e65e680e27e9

Apparently his "solution" was to have the team kneel before the anthem and then stand for the anthem itself.
https://twitter.com/mortreport/status/917541753242210305

_{"Actually, I think you'll find this is about me"}

Jones' approach to the kneeling controversy was to enforce lockstep conformity to his own policy, attempt to usurp the rebellion by making it be about what he wanted (a show of patriotism and team unity in following the rules that completely neutered its impact or relevance to the actual protest), and then credited it to Donald Trump, driving home the unmistakable point that this was conservative republican anti-protest using players as pawns to screen a political maneuver.

Jones is undoubtely also highly influential in the effective blackballing of Kaepernick himself, too. Either explicitly behind closed doors, or implicitly through his direct bootlicking of Trump combined with the outsized power he wields within the NFL.

Leperflesh posted:

ESPN

ESPN (originally an acronym for Entertainment and Sports Programming Network) is a U.S.-based global cable and satellite sports television channel owned by ESPN Inc., a joint venture owned by The Walt Disney Company (80%) and Hearst Communications (20%). The company was founded in 1979 by Bill Rasmussen along with his son Scott Rasmussen and Ed Egan.

As of January 2016, ESPN is available to approximately 91,405,000 paid television households (78.527% of households with at least one television set) in the United States. Nielsen has reported a much lower number in 2017, below 90,000,000 subscribers, losing more than 10,000 a day.

seiferguy posted:
I nominate ESPN for their treatment of Jemele Hill. Specifically they reprimanded her for stating the obvious that Trump is a white supremacist, then suspended her for being critical of Jerry Jones and his flag humping poo poo.

I wanna say there was some other dumb poo poo they did regarding college football announcing, but I can't remember.

quote:
Hill stoked controversy with tweets calling President Donald Trump �a white supremacist,� �a bigot� and �unqualified and unfit to be president� and later, after being reminded of ESPN�s social media policies, for suggesting fans upset with how NFL owners respond to player protests during the national anthem should consider sponsor boycotts.

The Trump tweets, which ESPN disavowed as not representing its views, brought calls for Hill�s dismissal from White House press secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders and Trump supporters. Hill said she was sorry for not making it clear she didn�t represent ESPN.

Hill�s subsequent NFL anthem protest tweets brought a suspension from the Disney-owned company, which has a great deal of money invested in NFL rights fees.
Source

and,
http://digg.com/2017/robert-lee-espn-controversy-explained

quote:
On Tuesday, ESPN reassigned a sports announcer by the name of Robert Lee from calling a football game at University of Virginia on September 2. (Lee was reassigned to cover a game in Pittsburgh on the ACC Network Extra channel.)

The decision stemmed from the fact that Lee's name resembles that of Confederate General Robert E. Lee, a statue of whom was the rally point of white supremacist protestors who incited violence in Charlottesville � the home of the University of Virginia � earlier this month.
...
https://twitter.com/richarddeitsch/status/900172329032069120

hokay.

# ? Jul 13, 2018 18:16

sweet geek swag: Mar 29, 2006; Adjust lasers to FUN!

Jerry Jones because he keeps trying to look like the good guy, despite the fact that he is really rather despicable. ESPN is corporation, everyone knows they're garbage.

# ? Jul 13, 2018 18:27

King Hong Kong: Nov 6, 2009; For we'll fight with a vim
that is dead sure to win.

Suspending an employee rises above the usual media candidacy that I try to avoid voting for but Jerry Jones is clearly an authority figure within the NFL and has used his influence for the worse especially vis-a-vis the protests and Kaepernick and many of the things that Zurreco mistakenly associated with Jed York.

# ? Jul 13, 2018 18:41

Spoeank: Jul 16, 2003; That's a nice set of 11 dynasty points there, it would be a shame if 3 rings were to happen with it

King Hong Kong posted:

Suspending an employee rises above the usual media candidacy that I try to avoid voting for but Jerry Jones is clearly an authority figure within the NFL and has used his influence for the worse especially vis-a-vis the protests and Kaepernick and many of the things that Zurreco mistakenly associated with Jed York.

This is not an empty quote. Jerry Jones

# ? Jul 13, 2018 18:47

Crescent Wrench: Sep 30, 2005; The truth is usually just an excuse for a lack of imagination.; Grimey Drawer

Jerry Jones

# ? Jul 13, 2018 18:51

Cavauro: Jan 9, 2008

espn

# ? Jul 13, 2018 18:56

Incoherence: May 22, 2004; POYO AND TEAR

Jerry Jones is the rich capitalist villain of a kids' movie.

# ? Jul 13, 2018 19:00

seiferguy: Jun 9, 2005; FLAWED
INTUITION; Toilet Rascal

I'm expecting a Jerry Jones and Bob McNair matchup of who's the most racist owner.

# ? Jul 13, 2018 19:04

fartknocker: Oct 28, 2012; Damn it, this always happens. I think I'm gonna score, and then I never score. It's not fair.; Wedge Regret

Jerry Jones because gently caress the Cowboys and gently caress him.

# ? Jul 13, 2018 19:20

deedee megadoodoo: Sep 28, 2000; Two roads diverged in a wood, and I, I took the one to Flavortown, and that has made all the difference.

Jerruh is a piece of poo poo.

Edit - for content: gently caress the Cowboys.

# ? Jul 13, 2018 19:34

Quiet Feet: Dec 14, 2009; THE HELL IS WITH THIS ASS!?

Jerry Jones is an ugly moron with a big butt and his butt smells and he likes to smell his own butt.

Seconding gently caress the Cowboys.

# ? Jul 13, 2018 19:43

EmbryoSteve: Dec 18, 2004; Taste~The~Rainbow

My blood sugar is gon' be like

~^^^^*WHOA*^^^^~

Spoeank posted:

This is not an empty quote. Jerry Jones

# ? Jul 13, 2018 20:12

Ches Neckbeard: Dec 3, 2005; You're all garbage, back up the truck BACK IT UP!

Jerruh

# ? Jul 13, 2018 20:17

Play: Apr 25, 2006; Strong stroll for a mangy stray

I'm voting for ESPN because I'm feeling contrary

# ? Jul 13, 2018 20:17

Android Apocalypse: Apr 28, 2009; The future is
AUTOMATED
and you are
OBSOLETE; Illegal Hen

Jerry for the attempt at feigning that he cared what his players were protesting about, only to turn around & demand everybody stand. Also let's not forget he got into a great scuffle with Roger Goodell over the Ezekiel Elliott suspension.

# ? Jul 13, 2018 20:33

GobiasIndustries: Dec 14, 2007; Lipstick Apathy

gently caress ESPN. Seems like Jerry's gonna win this but Jemele Hill has been proven more correct every day since her comments and them suspending her for it was a complete chickenshit move and that Robert Lee nonsense was completely ridiculous.

# ? Jul 13, 2018 23:27

nerve: Jan 2, 2011; SKA SUCKS

I agree with the ESPN reasoning, but Jerry's worse!

# ? Jul 13, 2018 23:33

Zurreco: Dec 27, 2004; Cutty approves.

Jerry

# ? Jul 14, 2018 00:04

Ninurta: Sep 19, 2007; What the HELL? That's my cutting board.

Jerry Jones for using Papa Johns as his sock puppet to call out the players kneeling.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cN5X8l0hwGQ

# ? Jul 14, 2018 08:35

CyberPingu: Sep 15, 2013; If you're not striving to improve, you'll end up going backwards.

Jerry Jones

Racist PoS (God I've used that a lot this year in this competition) who uses his power to push his lovely agendas and keeps players who are trying to make things better down.

# ? Jul 14, 2018 21:48

Edward Mass: Sep 14, 2011; 𝅘𝅥𝅮 I wanna go home with the armadillo
Good country music from Amarillo and Abilene
Friendliest people and the prettiest women you've ever seen𝅘𝅥𝅮

Jerry Jones got people to say, "you know, maybe Roger Goodell isn't that bad". Think about that for a second.

# ? Jul 14, 2018 22:38

Vincent Van Goatse: Nov 8, 2006; Enjoy every sandwich.; Smellrose

Jerry Jones because he's the dictionary definition of douche.

# ? Jul 14, 2018 23:02

CyberPingu: Sep 15, 2013; If you're not striving to improve, you'll end up going backwards.

Also lol his name is loving Jerral........

# ? Jul 15, 2018 09:53

Chichevache: Feb 17, 2010; One of the funniest posters in GIP.

Just not intentionally.

Jerry Jones doesn't know how to use the word gloryhole.

# ? Jul 15, 2018 10:11

Leperflesh: May 17, 2007

Jerry Jones Wins, 38-5 over ESPN.

Now we have an interesting matchup:

Sean McDermott & The Bills, vs. the LA Chargers Organization

Leperflesh posted:

Sean McDermott and the Bills Leadership
Sean McDermott (born March 21, 1974) is an American football coach who is the head coach of the Buffalo Bills of the National Football League (NFL).

_{Psst. I hate you}

Zurreco posted:
Bills' Leadership, especially Sean McDermott, coach of the Bills, for aggressively trying to gently caress over their upcoming QB and veteran center.

Basically, Bills brass made a fuss about not wanting to pay Tyrod Taylor even though he was having a great year. Coach looked for any reason to bench or IR Tyrod in order to make him miss incentives and, of course, decided to pull him despite him having a record year. McDermott started Nathan Peterman, who went to throw 5 INT in his first half played. It was terrible and super transparent.

Bills put Tyrod back at starter and decided to overutilize Tyrod, forcing him to take bigger risks which culminated in Tyrod getting injured. All mishandling of their competent QB stuck the team with a poo poo playoff seed (somehow) shere they were not physically ready to face the Jags. Tyrod got injured, again, trying to lead a comeback.

Knowing Tyrod deserved to get paid, the Bills did the opposite - TT got traded to the Browns...

Meanwhile, their historic center Eric Wood was diagnosed with a career ending injury. Wood wasset to retire until the Bills notified him that they would attempt to reclaim part of his extension bonus if he retired. Wood had to cancel his retirement until the details became public, and only then did management decide that the PR hit wasn't worth a few mil in cap space.

Oh yeah, the Bills' president had to resign for misconduct. Note that the Tyrod trade took place after he left, so that was more of a GM/coach thing, but still.

Spoeank posted:

Bills because they could have had a good and fun team that maybe would have had a real chance in the playoffs if they weren't actively trying to sabotage their team literally all year. They also ran Tyrod Taylor out of town to start a QB competition between AJ McCarron, Nate Peterman and Josh Allen. They also dragged Anquan Boldin out of retirement then caused him to retire again with their shenanigans.

Play posted:

I'm going with Bills and their leadership. Tyrod isn't perfect, but he has talent and together with a strong defense could be a serious problem for other teams. Unfortunately just like in Washington the team couldn't accept what they had and make the best of it, instead making it clear how little respect and belief they had in their starting quarterback.

Mostly though my reasoning comes from the team's choice to pay a king's ransom and move up in the draft, not for Josh Rosen a guy who can throw a football and it goes where he wants it to, but Josh Allen a guy who can't do that. The Bills have voluntarily chosen football purgatory. They won't want to admit they made a mistake, but eventually they will have to. In the meantime, they will continue to serve as Tom Brady's punching bag, allowing the Patriots to have one of the easiest schedules in football year after year and consigning their fans to depression and madness.

GobiasIndustries posted:

gently caress The Bills. That Nathan Peterman game was one of the biggest NFL trainwreck games I've ever watched, and treated Tyrod like garbage all season (before that too but specifically this season for the sake of this competition) for no good reason it was racism Tyrod is better off in Cleveland than in Buffalo, somehow.

Play posted:

Creating the conditions wherein a football player will be "better off in Cleveland" is in itself a pretty monumental feat of douchery

Leperflesh posted:

LA Chargers Organization
The Los Angeles Chargers are a professional American football team based in the Greater Los Angeles Area. The Chargers compete in the National Football League (NFL) as a member club of the league's American Football Conference (AFC) West division. The team was founded on August 14, 1959, and began play on September 10, 1960, as a charter member of the American Football League (AFL), and spent its first season in Los Angeles, before moving to San Diego in 1961 to become the San Diego Chargers. The Chargers joined the NFL as result of the AFL�NFL merger in 1970, and played their home games at SDCCU Stadium. The return of the Chargers to Los Angeles was announced for the 2017 season, just one year after the Rams had moved back to the city from St. Louis. The Chargers will play their home games at the StubHub Center until the opening in 2020 of the Los Angeles Stadium at Hollywood Park, which they will share with the Rams.

Shiki Dan posted:
I would also like to nominate the Los Angeles Chargers organization for charging the highest prices for parking in the shittiest arena in the league playing in a city where no one wants them.

The LA Chargers charge $40 to park in the Red Lot and $100 to park in the Silver Lot at StubHub. Here is some information about the parking: http://www.stubhubcenter.com/chargers-parking

_{this map shows there are several other lots, the pricing for which is not clear from the above link. gently caress if I know why. Ask Shiki Dan.}

According to this article which was from 2015, the Cowboys had the most expensive parking, "America�s most expensive parking lot. Fans pay an average of $75 to park at AT&T Stadium, nearly triple the league average of $31.21." While the Lions had the cheapest parking: $11 to park at Ford Field.

This more recent article:
https://www.cnbc.com/2017/09/08/most-expensive-nfl-teams-games-to-attend.html
lists the ten most expensive NFL stadiums to attend, accounting for ticket prices, the price of beer, hot dogs, and sodas, and the price of parking. StubHub doesn't make the list, but the parking prices shown range from $25 (at MetLife) to $75 (at AT&T).

None of these articles show their work: it's not clear if they're simply averaging the different parking options at each stadium, or accounting for how many spaces each lot sells, etc. but overall it does seem that StubHub's parking is on the high side, although probably not the league's highest. It may be that it's just very limited capacity, though - if there are fewer $40 spots than $100 spots it could possibly be the highest.

What douchebags!

aperion posted:

Ok fine, let's make this a real thing about why you should vote for the gently caress the LA Chargers Organization.

1. Shitass parking. Yes, $100 to park is bad. But let's put this into some perspective. You aren't going to MetLife (Giants and/or Jets), CenturyLink (Seahawks), AT&T (Milquetoasts), or whatever the Cardinals call their stadium. You're going to the loving StubHub Center, a SOCCER stadium. A 27k seater that doesn't fill up on gameday. I'm willing to bet that half the reason for that is the parking. You would think that while the Chargers are in their temporary home that they'd use this time to build a fanbase, offer tons of free goodies, and do everything in their power to attract potential new fans in their new market, but nope! It's like they don't actually want a goddamn fanbase. The parking bullshit is a symptom of that.

2. Antonio Gates. Do you remember him? Did you know he used to play bas....ok moving on. They dumped him this offseason, told him to gently caress off already. I'll acknowledge that there's more than one side to this, that the team had Hunter Henry lined up to take his position full-time, and they didn't need to pay for two starting pass-catching tight ends. I get that. But when you've got someone like Gates who's still far and away better than most other tight ends floating around in free agency, it seems to be a good idea not to burn bridges with the one guy who could step up and fill Henry's shoes if he gets injured. And look what just happened! Despite that, Gates still isn't on the team. Either they think they're good with someone else taking over at tight end, or Gates told the Chargers to gently caress off. And since Coach Lynn hasn't made a peep about his tight ends, I'm willing to bet that it's the latter. See also: Eric Weddle.

3. Similar to the parking fees, this loving team plays in a SOCCER STADIUM and they doubled their ticket prices from their move to the StubHub. Yes, doubled. Average ticket prices in Qualcomm were around $100 in 2016 and average parking was closer to $25. Average ticket prices at StubHub in 2017 were $200, and in the top 10 of most expensive stadiums to go to. I'm sure that if you add in the parking that it jumps up a few more spots. And god forbid a visiting team is actually popular, they'll take over the stadium. Like the Chiefs, Broncos, Raiders, and Eagles all did last season. And quite possibly every other team that visited LA last year. How's that fanbase building going, guys?

4. More of a laughable thing, but Spanos couldn't stop banners from flying overhead because FAA regulations regarding air traffic over stadiums only kick in at 30,000 seats or larger.

Same douchebags, different city. I don't think they'll go all the way this year, but I'll be damned if they don't at least make it past the first round at least.

Leperflesh fucked around with this message at 20:07 on Jul 15, 2018

# ? Jul 15, 2018 20:04

Android Apocalypse: Apr 28, 2009; The future is
AUTOMATED
and you are
OBSOLETE; Illegal Hen

Ooh this is a tough one. I'm voting The Los Angeles Chargers in solidarity to my friends in San Diego. Also for the Chargers becoming the Clippers to the Rams' Lakers.

# ? Jul 15, 2018 20:35

EmbryoSteve: Dec 18, 2004; Taste~The~Rainbow

My blood sugar is gon' be like

~^^^^*WHOA*^^^^~

The Los Angeles Chargers

# ? Jul 15, 2018 20:35

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# ? Jun 3, 2024 17:32

GobiasIndustries: Dec 14, 2007; Lipstick Apathy

Gonna reiterate: gently caress The Bills. I'd argue that the bigger douchebaggery from the Chargers was when they decided to leave SD. The Bills' treatment of Tyrod was completely awful this year, benching him was loving stupid and proven to be stupid within minutes of their offense taking the field, and I'm glad he's moved on from that dumpster fire of an organization.

# ? Jul 15, 2018 21:11

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > The Football Funhouse > 2017-18 Ben Roethlisberger Memorial Douchebag of the Year Contest - FINAL VOTE NOW!!

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