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My dearest friends the TFF Goons, it's time (or rather a couple weeks past time, honestly) to once again retread the past year's worst football stories and mine them for some kind of entertainment-slash-revenge-fantasy “contest.” Actual Football is still months away, the draft is long past, the frenzy of free agency is largely over, and now all we can do to fill the terrible wasted months of summer is decide which person and/or organization was the worst douchebag of the last year. BenHasTinyWeenus used to run this thing but I charitably offered to help and now it's somehow become my responsibility. In revenge for having this foisted on me, I get to set the rules and you have to abide by them. Your Douchebag 2017 champion: Dean Spanos and the Spanos Family.  Your 2017 Inductee into the Dan Snyder Memorial Douchievement Award of Excremence Hall of Fame: Penn State Fans.  The rules In accordance with established tradition, we will first have a period of nominations. Anygoon can make any number of nominations (BUT see the NEW RULE), and in addition, you should post to "second" other goons' nominations. After the nomination period, I will build a tournament bracket consisting of the nominations that got the most "seconds." There is no specific limit to how many nominations will go through after voting. Instead I'll make a reasonable decision about where the cutoff should be and build a bracket that works. That may mean we have some wildcard spots if we don't get a power of 2 number of nominations, but that's not that hard to cope with.  NEW RULE: after individually voting on like fifty different members of the Cincinnati Bengals last year, there is a new rule to prevent this sort of tedious abuse. By Cavauro: Basically the rule is, I may group players on the same team together if it seems like a bunch of them are getting nominated individually; and also, if one ore more goons seem to be abusing their nominating power and like being sassy with lots of nominations that are intended ironically or some poo poo like that, I may put my foot down and draw a line and combine, veto, or otherwise tinker with the nominations. If the NEW RULE seems vague and bullshit, I put it to you that it is no more so than the NFL's definition of a catch.Eligibility Eligible nominees must be a person or group of people that meet these four criteria: #1: Football The nominee must be related to the sport of American Football in some reasonably direct way. #2: Douchebag The nominee must be douchebaggy or have committed one or more acts of douchebaggery. Douchebaggery is broadly defined by the thread consensus via voting, so I prefer not to try to spell out too specifically what the term means. However, by consensus we typically exclude from consideration crimes for which there was a conviction in a court of law, anyone who has been charged with a crime for which trial is still pending, and anyone who engaged in severely gross behavior that we really need to avoid having some kind of terrible "debate" about, such as the Paterno/Sandusky thing. Please also recognize that we're doing this for fun and not to have a debate about for example what exactly constitutes consent for purposes of determining if a rape took place. That said, a certain amount of discussion about where to draw the line is OK, as long as it doesn't become a derail or start resulting in probations. If you're not sure,  and I'll make a ruling about it if it needs one.#3: Of the Year The nominee must have done the douchebaggy thing during the period of May 19, 2017 through e. Note: we're extending the last year up to June 6th, since that's when I posted and we decided to include poo poo that just happened, because otherwise it has to wait a year and that sucks. #4: Not a member of the hall of fame Here are the members of the Douchebag Hall of Fame: Dan Snyder Craig James Art Modell Roger Goodell The NCAA Bobby Petrino Penn State Fans Special contest: Dan Snyder Memorial Douchievement Award of Excremence Entirely separately from the Douchebag of the Year tournament, we will have a straight vote for a new inductee into the Douchebag Hall of Fame; think of it as a sort of Lifetime Achievement Award for douchebags. Eligibility for the Hall of Fame follows exactly the same rules as for the Douchebag of the Year, but with the following exception: Douchebaggery not limited to the last calendar year. Any football-related douchebag acts of the past may be considered. You can nominate some 1950s football douchebag if you want. Nominations and seconds will run for the entire thread, including during voting for the tournament brackets. I'll close nominations shortly after we name the Douchebag of the Year, and then we'll have our vote for the hall of fame. Hopefully this doesn't get too confusing. Only the top few nominees will be up for voting. Basically whichever top nominees seem to have reasonable support, with a cutoff that drops the nominees with significantly less support. If that seems vague, well, it is, intentionally, so I can just do what makes sense at the time. How to Participate  To nominate a football douchebag (for either contest), you must at a bare minimum post in this thread:
To second a nomination (for either contest), make a post with the words "second" in bold and the name or names of whoever you are seconding. Merely emptyquoting someone else is not a vote or second. I will not attempt to interpret why you emptyquoted someone because it can signify disagreement or ridicule as well as agreement. Emptyquoting is also against the forums rules. If you totally agree with someone you can quote them and say (in bold) "seconded" or similar and I'll count that. Voting Rules Once we have all the nominations and the tournament begins, everyone will get to vote. As usual, when the matches begin, I will paste player bios (written by you the voters or halfassed by me if there are non available) and let people vote on one match at a time every two or three days. You will pick your preferred douche and you should give the best argument that you can for why they should win over the other douche. If you just post a vote for a candidate, that's worth 1 point. If you make an effort to argue in favor or against a candidate along with your vote, that's worth 3 points. That's it, that's the scoring. Non lazy people are worth three times as much as lazy people. Merely quoting someone else's argument is still only worth 1 point. You have to add something to the discussion, whether that's doing some googling and posting something someone said online or a news article or some tweets, or just writing a couple of sentences explaining your opinion, I will credit you with 3 points. I will post how many points your vote was worth when I tally your votes. OK that's it, go go go! We're already a couple weeks behind so get to it. Imma just drop this here for uh, reference purposes 
Leperflesh fucked around with this message at 18:32 on Jun 9, 2018 |
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Jun 7, 2018 06:39
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Second post reserved. Here is the Tracking Spreadsheet. Here are Previous years of this contest threads This year, 2017-18, is Year 8. Here's most of the previous years' threads: Year 1 Year 2 Year 4 Year 5 Year 6 Year 7 Leperflesh fucked around with this message at 20:39 on Jun 11, 2018 |
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Jun 7, 2018 06:43
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I open with the University of Montana for re-hiring Bobby Hauck as head coach of the Grizzlies. Here's some context.
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Jun 7, 2018 07:01
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Jerry Richardson For insisting on surrounding Cam Newton with a bunch of neanderthals stuck in the 1980s. Also for serially sexually harassing female members of his organization since the team's founding, including these gems. quote:A. "The week before we play New England please do the following: https://www.si.com/nfl/2018/04/26/carolina-panthers-owner-jerry-richardson-allegations-victim-letters
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Jun 7, 2018 07:18
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I nominate President Donald Trump. -Effectively changed the conversation of Colin Kaepernick’s sitting/kneeling during the National Anthem from being about police violence against minorities to patriotism. -Called the players “sons of bitches.” -Bullied the NFL owners into a asinine new rule where if you “disrespect the flag” the team gets penalized. -Questioned if players that opt for staying in the locker room during the National Anthem should even be in the country. -Disinvited Super Bowl LII winners the Philadelphia Eagles when the White House discovered a small handful of people from the organization would attend, forcing the team to cancel their trip. -Revealed he was looking to punish NFL owners with penalties with the latest tax break law he signed in retaliation for not being allowed to buy the Buffalo Bills. -(SPACE RESERVED FOR FUTURE DOUCHEBAGGERY) TBH this contest is over. Android Apocalypse fucked around with this message at 14:39 on Jun 7, 2018 |
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Jun 7, 2018 10:25
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Android Apocalypse posted:I nominate President Donald Trump. Seconded. I don't see how anyone but Trump could win this year.
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Jun 7, 2018 13:34
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Holy poo poo I woke up and forgot this gem from Donnie: -Revealed he was looking to punish NFL owners with penalties with the latest tax break law he signed in retaliation for not being allowed to buy the Buffalo Bills. I’m going to be editing my OP this entire year.
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Jun 7, 2018 14:39
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I say we put Trump in the hall of fame for this recent poo poo and sinking the USFL. Otherwise he's just going to run away with it.
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Jun 7, 2018 14:55
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Cash Monet posted:I say we put Trump in the hall of fame for this recent poo poo and sinking the USFL. Otherwise he's just going to run away with it. That's definitely the only way it'll be interesting this year.
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Jun 7, 2018 15:01
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Trump should be a HoF vote. Editing to offically nominate Trump for HoF CyberPingu fucked around with this message at 16:26 on Jun 7, 2018 |
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Jun 7, 2018 15:03
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I knew of Donnie’s earlier football shenanigans but I wanted to focus on his current foibles. I am totally okay with Donnie going straight into the HoF.
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Jun 7, 2018 15:33
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I nominate Pete Carroll, head coach of the Seahawks. Qualifications: he scared off all his veteran players with his lovely stories he keeps repeating, but most importantly because he did this: https://mobile.twitter.com/PeteCarroll/status/994709685826605056 seiferguy fucked around with this message at 16:36 on Jun 7, 2018 |
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Jun 7, 2018 15:52
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Doublepostin but I'm also nominating Bob McNair, owner of the Texans. Reason: for being the most racist owner in the NFL. Specifically for his "we can't let the prisoners run the prison" comments, then his non-apology "sorry if you were offended" note then later saying "if anything I'm sorry I didn't double down." Also after Watson went down with his ACL injury we were subject to a bunch of lovely white QB play because his team wouldn't sign Kaep. Plus he looks like a racist newsy: 
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Jun 7, 2018 16:05
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OK, I've put Donald Trump in as a nomination for Hall of Fame - it makes sense, since he had gotten into the Kaepernick thing last year before this year's cutoff anyway. Cash Monet posted:I say we put Trump in the hall of fame for this recent poo poo and sinking the USFL. Otherwise he's just going to run away with it. Counted this as a Second for that nomination.
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Jun 7, 2018 16:12
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e: Fine Leper, I retract mostly because 
weird Asian candy fucked around with this message at 16:30 on Jun 7, 2018 |
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Jun 7, 2018 16:16
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Leperflesh posted:
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Jun 7, 2018 16:18
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I hereby nominate Ben Macadoo, coach of the New York Football Giants. His crime: benching Eli Manning to start Geno Smith, for one game, for terrible and stupid reasons, thus permanently destroying Eli's shot at the record for most consecutive starts.
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Jun 7, 2018 22:41
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seiferguy posted:Doublepostin but I'm also nominating Bob McNair, owner of the Texans. Seconded. I nominate Tom Brady for forcing Jimmy G out of New England.
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Jun 7, 2018 23:53
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Ok for realz post...I would like to nominate Rob Gronkowski. Reason : Being a giant bitch baby and dropping the people's elbow on a not looking and unsuspecting Tre'Davious White way after a play was dead. Very very scumbag move that could have landed White on IR or worse.
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Jun 8, 2018 00:15
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Stoney Case
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Jun 8, 2018 01:17
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I would like to nominate The NFL owners as a collective because they caved to Trump seiferguy posted:Doublepostin but I'm also nominating Bob McNair, owner of the Texans. Seconded, I hate my owner more than any of them except Snyder
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Jun 8, 2018 01:57
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weird Asian candy posted:Ok for realz post...I would like to nominate Rob Gronkowski. Seconded.
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Jun 8, 2018 02:30
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I'll nominate the University of Tennessee for hiring Greg Schiano then backing out when students and fans protested.
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Jun 8, 2018 02:47
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Cavauro posted:Stoney Case Leperflesh posted:
fast cars loose anus posted:I would like to nominate The NFL owners as a collective because they caved to Trump The new rule was announced during/after the May 23rd meeting, and our cutoff is, inconveniently, May 18th. I've added to the sheet provisionally anyway, because arguably the owners have been caving to Trump all year - at least, that's likely what Kaep's lawyers will argue in court - but I think it's also fair to put the new rule the owners passed onto the 2018-19 season's douchebag voting, since that's when it takes effect. Another thing I could do is just include a couple extra weeks in the timeframe. Mostly this is my fault for starting a bit late this year, but I was on vacation in Europe for two weeks starting the 19th, and didn't want to start this thread and then immediately get on a plane and not be taking care of it for its first two weeks.
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Jun 8, 2018 03:24
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Why did you quote me.
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Jun 8, 2018 04:11
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NFL owners is disqualified anyways since Dan Synder is a part of it.
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Jun 8, 2018 04:13
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Whoops about the date; I'll accept whatever ruling comes down on it. Plenty of douches to go around this year.
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Jun 8, 2018 04:13
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Leperflesh posted:OK, I've put Donald Trump in as a nomination for Hall of Fame - it makes sense, since he had gotten into the Kaepernick thing last year before this year's cutoff anyway. Only criticism I have on this is how I hate he has made EVERYTHING about him, and injecting him into our little contest about football douchebags would feed right into his narcissism(even if he is not aware of the contest). This isn't voting per se, just my thoughts about the situation. Carry on.
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Jun 8, 2018 12:02
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Flikken posted:Only criticism I have on this is how I hate he has made EVERYTHING about him, and injecting him into our little contest about football douchebags would feed right into his narcissism(even if he is not aware of the contest). We'll job him out in the final bracket to someone else.
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Jun 8, 2018 12:05
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FizFashizzle posted:Jerry Richardson Seconded, although he could also be a good HoF candidate for all his achievements outside of this year, including walking away from his NFL career over a dispute of $250, managing a chain of Hardee's and Denny's restaurants into the ground (with plenty of racial discrimination allegations to boot), and being one of the ringleaders of the NFL lockout a few years back. https://theundefeated.com/features/panthers-jerry-richardson-is-no-stranger-to-incidents-involving-race/ Shiki Dan fucked around with this message at 15:50 on Jun 8, 2018 |
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Jun 8, 2018 15:43
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No one is touching Trump’s run to the HoF for doucheness. Put him in the Roethlisberger category.
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Jun 8, 2018 16:50
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Cavauro posted:Why did you quote me. You appear to have been trying to nominate someone named Stony Case, so I quoted the information about how to nominate someone. I'm sorry if that wasn't clear. Shiki Dan posted:Seconded, although he could also be a good HoF candidate for all his achievements outside of this year, including walking away from his NFL career over a dispute of $250, managing a chain of Hardee's and Denny's restaurants into the ground (with plenty of racial discrimination allegations to boot), and being one of the ringleaders of the NFL lockout a few years back. It'd be legitimate and fine if you wanted to also nominate him for hall of fame. Maybe he'd even beat Trump! That could happen, right? ...I gotta say, there's not a lot of traffic in this thread right now, compared to years prior. I wonder if it's just waning interest, or if Trump just overshadows everything else, or maybe I'm doing something offputting in how I'm running this thing, I dunno. If we only wind up with like ten guys to vote on, that's OK too I guess.
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Jun 8, 2018 21:36
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Seconding Pete Carroll, Tom Brady, Jerry Richardson, and Bob McNair for the original recipe contest and Trump for HoF.
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Jun 8, 2018 22:36
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Big old stoney Case. 6'3". 200 pounds.
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Jun 8, 2018 22:44
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Too bad Dan Snyder is already in the HoF because the cheerleader controversy is near the top of douchebaggery.
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Jun 9, 2018 13:56
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bobjr posted:I'll nominate the University of Tennessee for hiring Greg Schiano then backing out when students and fans protested. That owned though. gently caress Greg Schiano Go whole hog and just nominate them for the entire coaching search
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Jun 9, 2018 16:47
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Seconding Pete Carroll, Tom Brady, Jerry Richardson, Bob McNair, Ben McAdoo and Gronk for the regular event. I guess also second Trump for the HoF but that feels like such a forgone conclusion it makes that vote kinda moot...
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Jun 9, 2018 16:51
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Hue Jackson for promising to jump in the Lake then doing it the lamest way possible.
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Jun 9, 2018 16:56
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Toni Grossi for being a smug prick who vowed to retire if the Browns drafted Mayfield, then didn't.
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Jun 9, 2018 16:58
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OK I've decided to just go ahead and leave in the NFL Owners, and extend the dates to include the last couple weeks because gently caress it, we might as well get to talk about what is topical to talk about right now. Think of it a bit like how Obama got the Nobel Peace Prize at the beginning of his term, just based on the presumption that he wasn't George W Bush, except the opposite, or something.Android Apocalypse posted:Too bad Dan Snyder is already in the HoF because the cheerleader controversy is near the top of douchebaggery. Oh yeah. There has to be someone else involved we can nominate, though. Of course, the Redskins thing happened in 2013, so it's only eligible for HoF anyway.
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Jun 9, 2018 18:30
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