Anonymous Confessions: I had an extremely weird dream that's going to become relevant

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > Anonymous Confessions: I had an extremely weird dream that's going to become relevant

«‹›572 »

Cubone: May 26, 2011; Because it never leaves its bedroom, no one has ever seen this poster's real face.

sugar free jazz posted:

Cut off your dick and your rear end bleeding won�t be that big of a problem anymore

I was like "wait, which thread did I just click?"

# ? Jul 12, 2018 00:51

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 12, 2024 00:23

tactlessbastard: Feb 4, 2001; Godspeed, post; Fun Shoe

Unbelievably Fat Man posted:

Don't go to the doctor so you can die earlier

But I want to catch cancer early so I can savor it; have plenty of time to plan bank heists

# ? Jul 12, 2018 00:56

Son of Man: Jan 29, 2003; by Azathoth

tactlessbastard posted:

But I want to catch cancer early so I can savor it; have plenty of time to plan bank heists

they say you can't truly enjoy the sweet release of death without first enduring the agony of cancer

# ? Jul 12, 2018 01:16

sugar free jazz: Mar 5, 2008

SciFiDownBeat posted:

Is this your answer to everything? Just cut the dick off?

Well, what about the dick's opinion, huh?? Did you ever once consider how goon's dicks would feel??!?!

not to everything no, but its a really good answer to a lot of problems

# ? Jul 12, 2018 04:50

King of Foolians: Mar 16, 2006; Long live the King!

Hey Possibly a Psycho Goon from the last page: if you feel like librarians are judging you based on your book selections you can just chat with them when you are checking out about how you are doing research for a book you are writing. That way they won�t think you are crazy and you�ll make yourself sound smart. Hope that helps.

# ? Jul 12, 2018 05:51

yeah I eat ass: Mar 14, 2005; only people who enjoy my posting can replace this avatar

King of Foolians posted:

Hey Possibly a Psycho Goon from the last page: if you feel like librarians are judging you based on your book selections you can just chat with them when you are checking out about how you are doing research for a book you are writing. That way they won’t think you are crazy and you’ll make yourself sound smart. Hope that helps.

If he could say it in a convincing way that would work but knowing goons he would start sweating profusely, stammering amf just blurt out "ITS FOR A BOOK" and run away, making the librarian even more suspicious.

# ? Jul 12, 2018 05:58

Theophany: Jul 22, 2014; SUCCHIAMI IL MIO CAZZO DA DIETRO, RANA RAGAZZO

2022 FIA Formula 1 WDC

Audax posted:

Didn't totalbiscuit bleed from his rear end and keep putting off seeing a doctor? Goon go get help you don't wanna die.

He also told a guy to die of rear end cancer lol

# ? Jul 12, 2018 08:32

Leave: Feb 7, 2012; Taking the term "Koopaling" to a whole new level since 2016.

Cubone posted:

I was like "wait, which thread did I just click?"

I thought the same thing and couldn't help but wonder why so many threads could say that and it'd still fit.

# ? Jul 12, 2018 23:06

loquacius: Oct 21, 2008

quote:

I've been living with the same partner for 8 years. Upon meeting her, she was absolutely everything I wanted in a woman. Smart, funny, talented, and just absolutely, stunningly gorgeous.

We've had our ups and downs, but the main thing is; she has a Mr. Hyde personality when she gets drunk. She gets that way 5 or 6 times a month. She is an actress who is usually highly acclaimed in any stage or TV performances she does, but the hard times usually come while she's in rehearsal or taping something. In a hosed up way, I've come to expect this is somehow part of her process.

We both have stable jobs that afford us a comfortable living outside of her acting.

There are nights when I lock myself in the guest room to avoid her screaming fits and sometimes physical abuse. She's like 5'0" and I'm 6'2" and in good shape. It's not that I feel the punches or slaps really, but it sucks.

Our sex life has dropped off considerably because I am mainly not into the sudden mood swings that can happen during what would otherwise be some very good, emotionally connected sex. It becomes even shittier when she screams at me about why we don't gently caress anymore.

I am a social drinker, but she is someone who drinks until she can't stand up sometimes. She has broken both ankles and bruised ribs from falling down while drunk. I've been there for most of those occasions. She has alienated some really good friends with all of this as well.

I'm ready to give up drinking entirely, and ask her to live sober with me. My fear is that she will not be ready for that, or just pretend and drink in secret.

Also, we just got married 2 months ago, and last time this happened I threatened divorce.

She got real cool for a week and a half and is now downing the rest of my Lagavulin 12 in the backyard while shouting at me to buy her smokes.

She is literally the funniest, coolest, person I've ever been in love with. It really hurts to think that this might not be a dive I can pull her out of. This sucks.

I think it's probably intervention time based on what you've said here

Like, she has to have other people in her life who've noticed this if it's as bad as you say. Get her into rehab or AA or something for her own sake and the sake of your marriage.

SKIPPING: someone claiming to be basically Rorschach But Even More Racist

quote:

I was an only child. My parents bitterly divorced when I was 7 and thanks to a long distance move I never saw my father again until turning 13. When we did see each other, both of them had already remarried, he tried to be a third parent but had no idea how to do it and I wasn't really in the mood to let him. For these and other reasons I grew up a massive introvert/goon. For a few completely different reasons I was also a mega depressed shutin on top of the normal gooniness, although I eventually grew out of the depression. I did have some friends but nobody I wanted to invite over to my place, never had birthday parties after turning 12 and so on. As a teenager I always wondered what it would be like growing up with a sibling, mostly because I thought that would be like a built in best friendship. I'm probably wrong because looking back I wouldn't want to be friends with me either, but it was definitely something I thought about a lot.

Ten years later, I was a moderately successful adult doing my own thing, more or less repaired my relationship with my dad and left all this behind. One day, I got an email from a completely generic last name I've never heard of before. It was just a couple of lines - "Is your dad XXX, born Y?" We emailed each other a few times and confirmed that she was definitely talking about him, so I forwarded him her email and never thought about it again.

The year after that, I was talking to my mother at her place about something unimportant, somehow remembered the email and asked her who that could possibly have been.

Out of nowhere, she turned white and started crying. Five minutes later it turned out the reason my parents divorced is that my dad had cheated on her and the result was the secret younger half sister of mine who had emailed me the year before.

The following day, after a really long back and forth email thread, my wife and I traveled to her hometown and met up. We talked for a few hours, though for half that time I had no idea what to say and there were a lot of awkward silences. A little later on, she came to our city and met my dad for the first time in her life. I wish I could say we'd stayed in touch and became close, but as introverted as I am, she might be worse and my dad is definitely King of Goon Mountain. [Two years ago, he had easily treatable, but still dangerous Stage 2 cancer. My mother found out through a mutual friend's slipup and told me about it. As I wanted to avoid outing her, I waited for him to tell me himself. 104 weekly phone calls later - I know the number because he calls every Sunday afternoon, rings back 0-1 more times if I'm not around, and tries again exactly one week later - I'm still waiting today.] I send her an email every year on her birthday wishing her well and telling her what's up with me to keep the lines of communication open; thus far she's 1 for 7 or 8 on replies. We simply met too late in life to have anything else.

For the next few years after meeting her, I was extremely bitter at both of my parents but actually felt more betrayed by my mother. My dad had apparently sworn her to secrecy about the whole thing because I'd think less of him if I knew. My thinking was that although he'd misjudged me and I would have cared much more that she existed at all, I was used to that by then. But I also felt that my mother, whom I grew up with, should have known enough about how I'd react to tell me at some point. Because neither of them could be bigger people, they robbed my sister and I of any chance of a functional relationship.

Now that a lot more time has passed, I really have no idea what to think. I don't think I was 'right' to react the way I did. But I also can't see how I was wrong, either. It's basically water under the bridge today, but I can't say that it never affected the way I treated them afterwards.

I'm not even sure what the point of this fesh was. Things have gone well since then. I'm successful by any stretch of the imagination, have an awesome wife I love more than anything and a great kid whom I'm around every day. Whatever my limitations are I've overcome them. But there's another universe where even though I might not be where I am today, I grew up with deeper, tighter ties with my sister, my parents and other people around me. That might have been the better one. Maybe Al Gore is even President for Life there?

Now that I think about it, even though there's no real reason to be anonymous here, I value the privacy of everyone involved enough that I'm still hesitating hitting send eight years after originally almost making an E/N thread about it. I'm not my father, but it's not for my genetics' lack of trying. gently caress.

Man, Al Gore is the best president-for-life you could think of? Jeez

ANYWAY, I can confirm firsthand that having a sibling is very far from having an automatic best friend and if both of you are goony introverts it's very possible that you end up with a not-very-close relationship even if you spend your entire childhoods living in the same house. I don't know if that helps, but it's quite probable you're not missing out on much more than you had. I don't really blame you for being resentful of your parents over this, though.

# ? Jul 13, 2018 01:07

tactlessbastard: Feb 4, 2001; Godspeed, post; Fun Shoe

quote:

Also, we just got married 2 months ago, and last time this happened I threatened divorce.

Good job on going through with that wedding, chump.

# ? Jul 13, 2018 02:27

kalel: Jun 19, 2012

I have two siblings and trust me, it's not all it's cracked up to be

# ? Jul 13, 2018 04:53

ceebee: Feb 12, 2004

I'm an only child but my dad always says "You might have an older sibling from Chile from when I was in the Navy" ...it always makes me question if it's a possibility

ceebee fucked around with this message at 12:48 on Jul 13, 2018

# ? Jul 13, 2018 06:02

Dawncloack: Nov 26, 2007; ECKS DEE!; Nap Ghost

life is so much better when you realize that blood ties and family are completely separate concepts, imo.

# ? Jul 13, 2018 10:58

A Strange Aeon: Mar 26, 2010; You are now a slimy little toad; The Great Twist

I'm really curious, mystery half sister confessor, if you plan on having another kid, given your thoughts about siblings and your lack of them. My wife and I have one kid and both have a sibling, but aren't sure we're up for a second.

# ? Jul 13, 2018 13:20

RFC2324: Jun 7, 2012; http 418

Dawncloack posted:

life is so much better when you realize that blood ties and family are completely separate concepts, imo.

and those who don't get this are horrified by people who do

which is one of the reasons life sucks for people who are adopted, since the first thing people do is try to pressure you to find your birth family

# ? Jul 13, 2018 14:47

The Rabbi T. White: Jul 17, 2008

Please post even more racist vigilante.

# ? Jul 14, 2018 05:20

Solice Kirsk: Jun 1, 2004; .

I have a friend who is still close to her shitbag parents that have completely ruined her life because "they're family." I kinda get it, I'm super close to my family too. But my family helps each other out and doesn't open up 10 credit cards in their 7 year old's name and then not mention it until she tries to buy a house. Or convince her to put them on her checking account so they can "transfer money to each other easier" and clean her out every 8 weeks. Or show up to her big opening night play smacked up on heroin and proceed to throw up and pass out in the front row.

We've gotten into some pretty good fights over me telling her to let them go.

# ? Jul 14, 2018 05:35

loquacius: Oct 21, 2008

quote:

I am a married father of 2.
Recently my wife was having major issues with depression and anxiety and our marriage was falling apart. (She has since been doing way better)

A few months ago I went on a work trip, where I met up with an old friend I�ve known from the internet for 15 plus years, we�ve met in person before this.

We had sex.
Doing something like that was very unlike me, and I know I�d not want to cheat again.

My friend contacted me and said a month ago The she was pregnant and keeping it.

She says she wants or expects nothing from me. She is being totally �cool� about all of this and for most people it would seem like a free pass.

But I can�t tell anybody.

My friend and I have talked about calling it a �donation�, which sounds like a perfect solution, though one that would be hard to lie/explain to my family.

But the guilt of
Living the rest of my life with this secret, and letting a human I helped create live their life without knowing a parent is a lot to carry.

Since I�ve heard I�ve been sick every day with guilt and shame and need to tell somebody... anybody about it.

I don�t know what to do.

Can I trust my friend when she says she doesn�t need or expect me involved?

Can I live with a lie forever?

Do I just admit my mistake and let it destroy everything?

I mean, you'd know better than us the answers to all of those questions, but, your friend is a grown adult and if she says she doesn't want your help she probably means it :shrug:

I'm very much inclined to tell you to see the thread title here

The guy who sent the fesh about being a psychopath who likes snuff films sent in a followup:

quote:

I've got a few things to say.

First, I should say that what I watch are not technically snuff films, since "snuff film" has a pretty specific definition - murdering someone on camera for the purposes of selling the video. Not even Daisy's Destruction met this definition since it is my understanding Daisy was merely tortured, not killed on screen.

So what I watch is usually "found footage". Stuff lile the Dnepropetrovsk maniacs, the Budd Dwyer video, Nick Berg, etc.

Frankly, I find the... I don't want to use the term virtue signalling since it's so loaded, but I can't think of a better phrasing... I don't like the virtue signalling by some posters.

User "Android Blues" (if that is your real name), maybe an 08 like yourself doesn't remember the real internet, but goons were all over sites like Rotten and Stileproject. Gore from these sites was a common form of "shock image". But much like GBS posters who in 2006 would have called everything they mildly dislike gay now bray for bans/probes pretty much every time nooner posts, you want to virtue signal and pretend people don't find this kind of thing interesting.

As for "yeah i eat rear end"'s assertion I'm an edgy teen, LOL. I'm not silly enough to do violence - society has strong taboos against it, I stopped around when I turned 18. We live in a police state, and it's so easy to get revenge in less traceable ways.

(I will admit sometimes I'll threaten people or let my anger show... it's pretty untracable if it's on the road or at a mall or something, and even if the police responded in time it's he said / he said so worst case Ontario they'll give me a warning)

I'll admit I had issues with my temper when I was younger, but back in those glorious pre-Columbine days you really had no incentive not to hurt people. Worst case they'd stick you in an in school suspension and you read all day, LOL.

Anyways it's not like I look at gore often. I have a multireddit set up on my anonymous Reddit account, and sometimes I check in once every week or two to check out what's bubbled to the top.

All "virtue signalling" really is is when someone cares about something you don't

# ? Jul 16, 2018 21:04

burial: Sep 13, 2002; actually, that won't be necessary.

loquacius posted:

All "virtue signalling" really is is when someone cares about something you don't

Someone in another thread said the less loaded term is �sanctimony� which makes sense to me. Not that I am in any way supporting snuff �fessor here.

Also, and I�m assuming it was a typo, �worst case Ontario� would make a great user and/or band name.

# ? Jul 16, 2018 21:19

loquacius: Oct 21, 2008

I honestly assumed anon lives in Ontario and that was some kind of statement on the quality of local law enforcement

# ? Jul 16, 2018 21:23

HoboMan: Nov 4, 2010

lol, you got me good phyco goon. when I say that looking at gore and torture videos is hosed up I'm "virtue signaling" while beating off to the same in the other monitor as i type, because its deffo something everyone enjoys looking at and I'm just trying to impress other posters on some dead gay forum

# ? Jul 16, 2018 21:26

burial: Sep 13, 2002; actually, that won't be necessary.

loquacius posted:

I honestly assumed anon lives in Ontario and that was some kind of statement on the quality of local law enforcement

My interpretation is more amusing, but there�s a decent chance you�re right. Which means there�s a decent chance I live relatively close to this dude.

Maaaaan.

# ? Jul 16, 2018 21:32

SpazmasterX: Jul 13, 2006; Wrong about everything XIV related
~fartz~

RE: Cheating dad goon:

You need to at least persue terminating parental rights and even then you may still end up being on the hook for child support if this woman decides to turn on you. Better to address it now and try to reduce how well and truly hosed you are rather then have it all explode in your face.

# ? Jul 16, 2018 21:52

HoboMan: Nov 4, 2010

Yeah you probably want to get your lack of responsibility in writing or something. I'm not sure how this works

# ? Jul 16, 2018 22:01

tactlessbastard: Feb 4, 2001; Godspeed, post; Fun Shoe

quote:

But the guilt of
Living the rest of my life with this secret, and letting a human I helped create live their life without knowing a parent is a lot to carry.

Since I’ve heard I’ve been sick every day with guilt and shame and need to tell somebody... anybody about it.

Not only that, you're going to go to hell when you die, adulterer! :catholic:

# ? Jul 16, 2018 22:03

kalel: Jun 19, 2012

I watched the Budd Dwyer video out of morbid curiosity when I was like 15 and I wish I could remove it from my brain. I guess what I'm saying is, op you're hosed up my dude

# ? Jul 16, 2018 22:18

Caganer: Feb 15, 2018

loquacius posted:

I honestly assumed anon lives in Ontario and that was some kind of statement on the quality of local law enforcement

it's probably a trailer park boys reference

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jfq3c4Cf1Fs

so confessor is either canadian... or too stoned to murder anyone

# ? Jul 16, 2018 22:21

burial: Sep 13, 2002; actually, that won't be necessary.

Caganer posted:

it's probably a trailer park boys reference

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jfq3c4Cf1Fs

so confessor is either canadian... or too stoned to murder anyone

GodDAMNit, masking tape. I wanted to believe it was just a hilarious accident. Now it isn�t funny at all.

On the other hand, I feel informed. What�s weird, though, is that I�m pretty sure I�ve had to sit through tons of episodes of that show and never would�ve remembered it or made the connection.

# ? Jul 16, 2018 22:29

Brolander: Oct 20, 2008; i am but a vessel

rickyisms are absolutely funny

# ? Jul 16, 2018 22:56

Son of Man: Jan 29, 2003; by Azathoth

"snowflake" and "virtue signal" are conservative terms designed to demean the virtue of compassion

# ? Jul 16, 2018 23:27

Caganer: Feb 15, 2018

Son of Man posted:

"snowflake" and "virtue signal" are conservative terms designed to demean the virtue of compassion

plus push this idea everyone's secretly racist/sexist/a-violent-weirdo-who-watches-snuff-films

they assume that since they have these "closeted" bigoted views everyone else does

burial posted:

GodDAMNit, masking tape. I wanted to believe it was just a hilarious accident. Now it isn�t funny at all.

On the other hand, I feel informed. What�s weird, though, is that I�m pretty sure I�ve had to sit through tons of episodes of that show and never would�ve remembered it or made the connection.

it's a pretty well known quote from the show honestly i was a little surprised no one else picked up on it :shrug:

# ? Jul 17, 2018 00:06

vortmax: Sep 24, 2008; In meteorology, vorticity often refers to a measurement of the spin of horizontally flowing air about a vertical axis.

Sure, I went to stileproject and rotten and ogrish back in the day and played Pico's school on newgrounds.........when I was a depressed edgy teenager who wanted to be an evil genius. And then I grew up.

vortmax fucked around with this message at 00:28 on Jul 17, 2018

# ? Jul 17, 2018 00:25

vortmax: Sep 24, 2008; In meteorology, vorticity often refers to a measurement of the spin of horizontally flowing air about a vertical axis.

quote is not edit

# ? Jul 17, 2018 00:27

Caganer: Feb 15, 2018

creeper confessor probably still reads maddox

# ? Jul 17, 2018 00:34

Leave: Feb 7, 2012; Taking the term "Koopaling" to a whole new level since 2016.

Pico's School was a point and click game about killing your classmates, wasn't it? I remember playing that, as a teenage shitheel, along with the Super Columbine Massacre RPG.

# ? Jul 17, 2018 00:40

Danaru: Jun 5, 2012; 何 ??

I remember Pico's School not because of the edgy parts, but because in the final boss fight you could blow up the wall behind them and the police outside would open the gently caress up on it :unsmith:

I always liked media where the cavalry shows up during the climax and helps, but the protagonist still has to fight their way out. Resident Evil loved that trope.

Anyway that's my story

# ? Jul 17, 2018 00:53

Solice Kirsk: Jun 1, 2004; .

A rocket launcher isn't the cavalry! :mad:

# ? Jul 17, 2018 00:56

Danaru: Jun 5, 2012; 何 ??

Solice Kirsk posted:

A rocket launcher isn't the cavalry!

It's the best you're getting on the pitiful budget they're giving STARS :mad:

Call your local representative if you're unsatisfied

# ? Jul 17, 2018 00:59

Solice Kirsk: Jun 1, 2004; .

Pfft, typical Bravo Team bullshit.

# ? Jul 17, 2018 01:11

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 12, 2024 00:23

Fintilgin: Sep 29, 2004; Fintilgin sweeps!

Caganer posted:

plus push this idea everyone's secretly racist/sexist/a-violent-weirdo-who-watches-snuff-films

they assume that since they have these "closeted" bigoted views everyone else does

I can't even push the mean/evil dialog choices in rpgs. :ohdear:

# ? Jul 17, 2018 01:29

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > Anonymous Confessions: I had an extremely weird dream that's going to become relevant

«‹›572 »