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ArbitraryC posted:I feel like the scenario prolly isn't that uncommon considering how dangerous it is for trans men and women to reveal themselves coupled with online echo chambers that insists sexual attraction couldn't possibly involve genitals as a prerequisite. OP's post comes across as pretty plausible, she didn't wanna get sexually involved right away because she just got out of a bad relationship where she felt used and as luck would have it she was with someone who had no problem waiting (because they were nervous about what would happen when they did try). Considering they're both barely over 20 neither of their positions seem that farfetched. I thought it was generally way less common than people would think because trans people are generally all too aware that it's a good way to get literally murdered, and often legally so given the 'gay panic' defence or similar horrible precedents. Online echo chambers seem to be genuinely trying to get people killed at this point.
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Jul 18, 2018 09:05
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I seriously doubt it's common for somebody to date somebody for an entire YEAR and not know they are trans. Not being straightforward and transparent about it at any point for an entire year speaks to me entirely not of "I'm afraid for my safety" and far more of "Aha, if I can make them invested enough in the relationship by hiding it for an entire year, they'll be forced to roll with it/confront their prejudices!" If it didn't speak to me of bullshit primarily anyway.
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Jul 18, 2018 09:51
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if it was a transwoman i'd agree with you but transmen can pass a lot easier
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Jul 18, 2018 10:12
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Anony Mouse posted:My (25, F) coworker (23, M) sent me a photo of his naked son (3, M) today. The company has terminated the employee, but should I take further action? People suck Are americans so puritan you can't even show pics of your kids anymore Kids run around naked on beaches here. I guess in America it'd become a moral panic and people would break down over it
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Jul 18, 2018 10:16
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Zzulu posted:People suck On the one hand, yeah she's totally trying to nuke this for good reason and she needs to back the gently caress off. On the other, the guy's behaviour was ludicrously inappropriate for somebody he barely knows, but never attribute to malice what can be explained by stupidity.
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Jul 18, 2018 10:20
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Whorelord posted:if it was a transwoman i'd agree with you but transmen can pass a lot easier Not even actual trans men even, necessarily - https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2017/jun/29/gayle-newland-found-guilty-at-retrial-of-tricking-female-friend-into-sex
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Jul 18, 2018 10:52
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My (M18) estranged older brother (M25) has come home and I don’t trust him. My parents (M47, F45) think I should give him a second chance. So I have an older brother for reference I’ll call him Dan. Dan was always a bit strange when I was growing up. He was always fighting with me and my sisters and my parents. At around 12 he would skip school and hang out with the wrong crowd. I guess my parents had enough of it and at the age of 16 they gave him a choice. He could either get help for his anger and other issues or he could go and live with another family member. Needless to say he moved and we hadn’t heard from him until two weeks ago. So me and my girlfriend, her name is Gail, we’re at my house watching Tv trying to relax after the long month we had. My parents were working in their office and my youngest sister was in her room. When there is a knock on the door I answer it and I see a guy there. He says hi and tries to hug me but I kinda back away not knowing who he is. But he says that he is my older brother Dan. I’m not buying it and tell Gail to get my parents. When she leaves Dan wolf whistles and ask who the help is. Gail and I have been through a lot so I start yelling at Dan saying how that is uncalled for. I’ll admit I overreacted but after what she’s been through I’ll always protect her. Anyways when my parents come they immediately recognize Dan as my brother. I was still shocked and when he came to hug me a just pushed him away. My parents said that was rude since he is my brother but I stood my ground. My youngest sister is 14 and she didn’t even remember him and was hesitant around him. My parents were concerned and asked what’s gone on in his life and he told us a lot. According to him he got into drugs for a while and some other bad stuff. Eventually that lead to him getting arrested for driving under the influence and possession of illegal drugs. He spent some time in jail and after that in rehab. He started to turn his life around and felt bad about how he treated us. So he decided to come home and make amends. My parents were in tears by the time he finished his tale of woe. I wasn’t convinced when I questioned him about his story he would change some details or get confused. My parents just scolded me and said that he is my brother and I should question him. I didn’t want to hear any more so me and Gail went to make dinner. While we were cooking Gail and I talked. She was able to tell I was uncomfortable and we talked it out. I told her that I’m pretty sure that he’s going to either ask for money or to stay till he gets back on his feet. And that my parents being as loving and naive as they are would let them. She agreed with me but said that if my parents let him back in that doesn’t mean I have to. It helped a lot and when it came time to have dinner it didn’t go that well. For one my family and I are white. I have pale skin, green eyes and dirty blond hair as does my mom. My dad on the other hand has blue eyes and brown hair much like my sisters and Dan. While Gail is Hispanic. She has tan skin, dark brown almost black hair and very dark brown eyes. Like normal we were talking and joking like normal. However Dan was constantly staring at Gail whenever I looked at him. And several time he would make racist jokes about her heritage and how she was only dating me for money. Which is not the case at this point Gail is very financially responsible. My parents just said that wasn’t polite and demand that he apologized which he did half heartily. But before dinner ended he pooped the question about moving back in until he got back on his feet. Me and Gail shared a look but my parents said of course. Dan said that he was so happy that we would be able to be a family again and started heading to where his old room was. The only problem with that is that it was turned into a guest room a few years ago and currently it is Gail’s room. When we told him that he turned looked at me and Gail and said. “Well why aren’t they sharing a room if they are fuc**** each other’s brains out.” He then followed it by saying joking and asked where he could sleep then. My parents offered up my bedroom until they could turn the storage room into another bedroom. That meant I would have to sleep on the couch. But instead I ended up sleeping with Gail in her room which wasn’t too uncommon to be honest. But that’s what lead to the next weird part. One night when we were sleeping I woke up to get some water. Now the way the room is positioned you can see the bedroom door from the bed. At the door stood Dan just staring at us. I asked him “What the Fuc*”. And he just said that he was getting up to get some water as well. When I pointed out that the kitchen was upstairs and not in the basement he admitted to wanting to see Gail. He then asked me if having sex with her was any good and if he could have her when I was done with her. There are multiple things wrong with that. For one me and Gail are not sexually active it’s not something we are interested in. Two even if we were it’s not something I would be willing to brag about to friends let alone Dan who I consider a stranger. Three no I will not be done with Gail considering that me and her are more then boyfriend and girlfriend. He then goes on to tell me that he has a thing for Hispanic women because of their big breast and butts. I asked him if that is why he is staring at her and when he replied yes I asked if he was mental. He said no but if she was going to flaunt herself like that then he was going to stare at her goods. He went in to say that she was honestly one of the sexiest girls he has ever seen and asked if he could join in on our next sexcapade. Needles to say we sleep with the door closed and locked after that incident. I told Gail and my parents everything that happened that night And guess what when they asked Dan if that was true he straight up lied. Everyone but Gail bought it. It’s been a difficult two weeks. Not only has he been screwing with me. Such as trashing my papers and donating my clothes that I still wear. He has also been trying to get closer to Gail and has tried several times to touch her only to be met with a dirty look and either a slap or a punch. She doesn’t tolerate that in the slightest. He has also been a huge slob and contributes nothing to help out. He doesn’t do any chores, he refuses to get a part time job and won’t run errands for my parents. He has started to pick on my little sister to the point where he has her in tears. He is a compulsive liar. For example he claimed to be bilingual and says that he speaks Latin and Japanese to Gail. However he didn’t know that Latin is a second language for her and she took Japanese as a class. He kinda turned red when she spoke to him in both asking “how is your day going so far?” Besides that he will go out and although he claims to no longer do drugs or drink he will come home smelling of it and tell my parents that he walked through a crowd of people who were doing it. I’m at wits end right now. My parents are blind to everything he is doing. Including the fact that they gave him there credit card and he has wracked up almost $4,000 on it. I have told them everything that has gone on and they just say that he is my brother and I’m just paranoid. So I’m wondering if you guys have any advice. TL;DR my estranged brother has reappeared in my family’s life. He has decided to be a creep and a two face and my parents are blind to it all. Please help. Edit: messed up my parents ages my dad is 44 my mom is 42. I’m very bad at remembering their ages.
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Jul 18, 2018 10:56
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Latin as a second language????
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Jul 18, 2018 11:10
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feedmegin posted:Not even actual trans men even, necessarily - I mean, cut her hair, stick her in a polo shirt, shove her in a spoonsl and introduce her as a Ryan or a Luke or something and probably wouldn't be able to tell either tbh
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Jul 18, 2018 11:13
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HazCat posted:Latin as a second language???? problema officiarius?
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Jul 18, 2018 11:21
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Smirking_Serpent posted:There are multiple things wrong with that. For one me and Gail are not sexually active it’s not something we are interested in...Three no I will not be done with Gail considering that me and her are more then boyfriend and girlfriend. I mean the deadbeat sounds like par for the course 'i'm totally reformed, you guys' junkie but this jumped up weenie writing is pretty funny.
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Jul 18, 2018 11:29
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Theophany posted:I mean the deadbeat sounds like par for the course 'i'm totally reformed, you guys' junkie but this jumped up weenie writing is pretty funny. It is possible* that he has successfully reformed and is no longer using drugs. He hasn't, however, stopped being an rear end in a top hat. * If he was still using then OP would probably be complaining about missing items more
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Jul 18, 2018 11:38
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The Lone Badger posted:It is possible* that he has successfully reformed and is no longer using drugs. He hasn't, however, stopped being an rear end in a top hat. He has the parents' credit card. No need to steal when you can buy poo poo and pawn it.
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Jul 18, 2018 11:44
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Theophany posted:I mean the deadbeat sounds like par for the course 'i'm totally reformed, you guys' junkie but this jumped up weenie writing is pretty funny. He wrote a bunch of other posts on the teenager subreddit. She has an account too but I didn't get far enough to see her posts. Apparently she got out of an abusive family situation with her grandparents trying to force her into an arranged marriage. He's already insistent that he's going to marry her one day. Unfortunately, he's a teenager that writes like a teenager, so a lot of it is hard to parse.
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Jul 18, 2018 12:09
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Smirking_Serpent posted:He wrote a bunch of other posts on the teenager subreddit. She has an account too but I didn't get far enough to see her posts. Apparently she got out of an abusive family situation with her grandparents trying to force her into an arranged marriage. He's already insistent that he's going to marry her one day. Yeah I inferred it was probably something legitimately bad given that she appears to be living with the OPs family rather than hers.
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Jul 18, 2018 12:13
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...I presume he means Spanish by 'latin', he sounds like a bit of a dolt, but from the look of it he's the smart one of the family.
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Jul 18, 2018 12:25
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Ghost Leviathan posted:...I presume he means Spanish by 'latin', he sounds like a bit of a dolt, but from the look of it he's the smart one of the family. i mean that's the boring answer. i prefer to think that she's one of the 30 female citizens of the Vatican City.
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Jul 18, 2018 12:51
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We had Latin as an optional high school subject from grades 8-12, it’s not that rare but it’s mostly in pretentious private schools.
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Jul 18, 2018 13:03
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My favorite part is how he acted indignant about how his brother probably wanted to ask his parents to move in. I mean they gave his girlfriend her own room it would be pretty messed up not to let their own son move back in.
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Jul 18, 2018 13:44
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Dunning Krugerrand posted:I know all there is to know about the crying game... "Lo and behold, we get down to business to defeat the buns," What?
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Jul 18, 2018 13:51
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Cat Army
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My (30f) husband (30m) of 6 years has a coworker (39ish?F) who he calls his "work wife." I think it almost approaches emotional affair, but I know nothing physical. However, he is a much happier, more loving person towards me. Do I just swallow my jealousy and let him be? posted:submitting from a throwaway since I'm not sure I want this to bleed into my "normal" reddit life. I love reading a reddit thread where a situation is fairly innocuous and has absolutely no chance of blowing up...unless they follow the advice in the replies quote:It's not the term that should bother her, it's the underlying reality. Which is that her husband's relationship with this woman is not just as normal, friendly co-worker. quote:But surely you must admit, being 'work wife' elevates this women to a status higher then just 'co-worker or friend', inherently. quote:Going to lunch everyday with the same person is a huge red flag and if they get to couples counseling, it's one of the first things the counselor will tell him to stop. It's fine to eat with someone occasionally but when people eat with the same person everyday, it builds a level of intimacy that becomes inappropriate for someone who is supposed to be in a committed relationship.
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Jul 18, 2018 13:51
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Caper posted:I love reading a reddit thread where a situation is fairly innocuous and has absolutely no chance of blowing up...unless they follow the advice in the replies I guess it's because they view every situation through the lens of their own ineptitude and project their lovely experiences onto those who post there?
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Jul 18, 2018 13:55
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Theophany posted:I guess it's because they view every situation through the lens of their own ineptitude and project their lovely experiences onto those who post there? If people who work in the same professional environment everyday also eat their sandwiches and chips at the same table...they will start loving.
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Jul 18, 2018 13:58
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They should open the relationship up.
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Jul 18, 2018 14:04
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Theophany posted:I mean the deadbeat sounds like par for the course 'i'm totally reformed, you guys' junkie but this jumped up weenie writing is pretty funny. Yeah, the OP writes like a child, probably because he is one, but his brother sounds like a straight-up serial rapist. Or, at least, how serial rapists are written for law and order. I also don't feel he over-reacted when his brother first showed up. Like, the first thing out of big bros mouth is just gross.
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Jul 18, 2018 14:11
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MightyJoe36 posted:"Lo and behold, we get down to business to defeat the buns," There are many regrets in a life. One of mine is knowing that this is either a typo or a joke based on the lyrics to a song from Mulan.
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Jul 18, 2018 14:13
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Smirking_Serpent posted:My (M18) estranged older brother (M25) has come home and I don’t trust him. My parents (M47, F45) think I should give him a second chance. Your house has stairs in it. There's your solution!
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Jul 18, 2018 14:19
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Barudak posted:There are many regrets in a life. One of mine is knowing that this is either a typo or a joke based on the lyrics to a song from Mulan. Since when is watching Mulan a regret in life.
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Jul 18, 2018 14:23
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Freudian posted:Since when is watching Mulan a regret in life. Did they send me daughters when I asked for sons?
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Jul 18, 2018 14:31
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Mulan is good but that joke is terrible
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Jul 18, 2018 14:31
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i like nice words
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Mulan is aggressively mediocre.
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Jul 18, 2018 14:34
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Clarification: Mulan is great but if you can't talk about sex without referencing a Disney movie then you probably shouldn't be having sex.
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Jul 18, 2018 14:36
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Freudian posted:Clarification: Mulan is great but if you can't talk about sex without referencing a Disney movie then you probably shouldn't be having sex. Let it go.
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Jul 18, 2018 14:43
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Zzulu posted:People suck 02-6611-0142-1 posted:We had Latin as an optional high school subject from grades 8-12, it’s not that rare but it’s mostly in pretentious private schools.
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Jul 18, 2018 14:48
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Apologies if this was posted, I checked reddit eating breakfast and the update was gold... (I can't remember if the original was posted and I haven't had a chance to catch up for a couple days): Blind furry sexually harassing me at work. [FL] (self.legaladvice) quote:I'm 18 and I work part time at a Starbucks in Florida (along with another serving job). I'm a girl and I just finished losing a considerable amount of weight, and I'm receiving attention for the first time in my life and I'm still not really used to dealing with it. I do know that the way I'm being treated now is very screwed up, but I'm not sure how to handle it. [Update] Blind furry sexually harassing me at work. [FL] (self.legaladvice) quote:Sorry for another update so soon, not good news. I'm an idiot. I love that the literal rules lawyers forced him to explicitly add "so what do I do?!" to the end 
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Jul 18, 2018 15:00
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Anony Mouse posted:My (25, F) coworker (23, M) sent me a photo of his naked son (3, M) today. The company has terminated the employee, but should I take further action?  @ the part where HR tells him to send them the child pornography so they can assess it 
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Jul 18, 2018 15:12
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Coworker is not a perv but sending naked toddler pics to someone you met 24 hours ago is not wise.
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Jul 18, 2018 15:14
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Tater Love 
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zakharov posted:Coworker is not a perv but sending naked toddler pics to someone you met 24 hours ago is not wise. yeah, it shows at best an incredible lack of boundaries at worst he's feeling the guy out to see if he's like minded. cp is not something you want to be going "well TECHNICALLY" about (as one recently permed user found out)
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Jul 18, 2018 15:16
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harassed out of your job by a blind furry, that'll be one for the grandpups
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Jul 18, 2018 15:19
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Why did you tell him? You absolute idiot why would you tell him? What the gently caress is wrong with you that you told him what you were doing? You are literally the villain monologing their plan while their is still plenty of time to stop them.
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Jul 18, 2018 15:19
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