Taiwan Number 1

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > Taiwan Number 1

Power Khan: Aug 20, 2011; by Fritz the Horse

BrainDance posted:

They're probably explosive when they show up dead too.

I'm not ordering live animals, for the record. Friend tried to buy a squirrel and they kept shipping boxes of squirrels to him. Told him to always just take a video of opening it because if he could prove it was dead on arrival they'd ship out another for free. It took so many tries before he got a live one, and the unboxings were nasty. They ship it with a little thing of food and that's basically it.

When he finally got a live one it suicided out his window

Squirrels are carriers of the black plague. I hope that helps.

# ? Jul 21, 2018 20:35

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# ? May 29, 2024 18:41

Meme Poker Party: Sep 1, 2006; by Azathoth

Pirate Radar posted:

but how do you, in good conscience

Let me stop you right there...

# ? Jul 21, 2018 20:35

vanity slug: Jul 20, 2010

Power Khan posted:

Squirrels are carriers of the black plague. I hope that helps.

Buy more

# ? Jul 21, 2018 21:37

Songbearer: Jul 12, 2007; Fuck you say?

Tai1

# ? Jul 21, 2018 23:05

Blistex: Oct 30, 2003; Macho Business
Donkey Wrestler

Fleta Mcgurn posted:

It's pretty easy to find in Chengdu. So I've heard.

It grows wild in the corner of every corn field in the North-east, and Shenyang had tons of it growing in vacant lots all over the city.

# ? Jul 22, 2018 01:49

fish and chips and dip: Feb 17, 2010

You guys remember the formaldehyde tainted milk powder some years back right? The minister in charge of food safety and regulations from that time didn't get fired, but got promoted to health minister. Now there are news about fake vaccines being distributed and used on his watch. Continuing like this, he'll take over as president soon!

# ? Jul 22, 2018 05:38

Bajaj: Sep 13, 2017; by FactsAreUseless

Had this amazing match on Tantan:

Me: "Hey, nice to meet you."
Her: "Nice to meet you too. Are you in China?"
Me: "Yes, you can read my profile."
Her: "Oh, are you in Shenzhen?"
Me: "That's in my profile too!"
Her: "What is your age?"
Me: "That's also in my profile."
Her: "Where are you from?"
Me: "It's in my profile."
Her: "I am sorry, but I don't believe people's profiles in this app."
Me: "Ok, but my profile will tell you everything you want to know."

*She sends back a photo of my profile (you can send photos in Tantan, unlike Tinder)*
Her: "It says you teach English."
Me: "Where does it say that? I wrote nothing like that in there. Did you even read it?"
Her: "So your profile is lying?"
Me: "What are you talking about?"

She stopped replying. Mainland critical thinking at its finest, ladies and gents.

420 Gank Mid posted:

is 520 the weed number in China?

It's how Chinese shorthand write "I love you" because the numbers kinda maybe just-a-little sound like Mandarin for "I love you." It's dumb, but that's what kids do.

# ? Jul 22, 2018 05:55

snergle: Aug 3, 2013; A kind little mouse!

Bajaj posted:

Had this amazing match on Tantan:

Me: "Hey, nice to meet you."
Her: "Nice to meet you too. Are you in China?"
Me: "Yes, you can read my profile."
Her: "Oh, are you in Shenzhen?"
Me: "That's in my profile too!"
Her: "What is your age?"
Me: "That's also in my profile."
Her: "Where are you from?"
Me: "It's in my profile."
Her: "I am sorry, but I don't believe people's profiles in this app."
Me: "Ok, but my profile will tell you everything you want to know."

not to what aboutism but that gives me dejavu from a few people on tinder in the us. not the 2nd part though thats just crazy

# ? Jul 22, 2018 06:05

duckfarts: Jul 2, 2010; ~ shameful ~; Soiled Meat

Bajaj posted:

Had this amazing match on Tantan:

Me: "Hey, nice to meet you."
Her: "Nice to meet you too. Are you in China?"
Me: "Yes, you can read my profile."
Her: "Oh, are you in Shenzhen?"
Me: "That's in my profile too!"
Her: "What is your age?"
Me: "That's also in my profile."
Her: "Where are you from?"
Me: "It's in my profile."
Her: "I am sorry, but I don't believe people's profiles in this app."
Me: "Ok, but my profile will tell you everything you want to know."

*She sends back a photo of my profile (you can send photos in Tantan, unlike Tinder)*
Her: "It says you teach English."
Me: "Where does it say that? I wrote nothing like that in there. Did you even read it?"
Her: "So your profile is lying?"
Me: "What are you talking about?"

She stopped replying. Mainland critical thinking at its finest, ladies and gents.

It's how Chinese shorthand write "I love you" because the numbers kinda maybe just-a-little sound like Mandarin for "I love you." It's dumb, but that's what kids do.

7456

# ? Jul 22, 2018 07:12

Grand Fromage: Jan 30, 2006; L-l-look at you bar-bartender, a-a pa-pathetic creature of meat and bone, un-underestimating my l-l-liver's ability to metab-meTABolize t-toxins. How can you p-poison a perfect, immortal alcohOLIC?

�I often wash the toilets until they don�t smell anymore,�

Well laa dee daa aren't we fancy making the toilet not stink sometimes, is the queen coming by for brunch?

# ? Jul 22, 2018 16:03

duckfarts: Jul 2, 2010; ~ shameful ~; Soiled Meat

Grand Fromage posted:

�I often wash the toilets until they don�t smell anymore,�

Well laa dee daa aren't we fancy making the toilet not stink sometimes, is the queen coming by for brunch?

after

# ? Jul 23, 2018 01:26

Atlas Hugged: Mar 12, 2007; Put your arms around me,
fiddly digits, itchy britches
I love you all

Not trusting things on dating profiles is smart though. The second part is probably just bad reading comprehension and then you made her lose face.

# ? Jul 23, 2018 04:10

Atlas Hugged: Mar 12, 2007; Put your arms around me,
fiddly digits, itchy britches
I love you all

Also I saw quite a few pet squirrels on leashes in Taiwan and the poor things always looked stressed and half dead. If in a cage, they were just doing some horrible compulsive behavior like Pirate Radar described.

# ? Jul 23, 2018 04:11

WatermelonGun: May 7, 2009

Threads That Are Dark

# ? Jul 23, 2018 04:20

Bajaj: Sep 13, 2017; by FactsAreUseless

BIG NEWS EVERYBODY!

https://www.psypost.org/2018/07/daughters-view-the-physical-attractiveness-of-their-spouses-as-more-important-than-their-parents-51829

quote:

Daughters view the physical attractiveness of their spouses as more important than their parents
�We wanted to test the predictions derived from this parent-offspring conflict over mate choice theory in a naturalistic context, here a Chinese so-called �marriage market�, where parents actively help their adult offspring to find a spouse.�

�Parents with unmarried children gather at public parks on weekends in many cities in China, so we went to one of these gatherings for our study,� Bovet explained.

For the study, the researchers surveyed 589 parents and young adults at the marriage market of Green Lake Park in the city of Kunming. They also interviewed 230 students at a local university. The parents and young adults were presented with hypothetical spouses who varied in their levels of income and physical attractiveness, and were asked which one they preferred.

People seeking a female partner � for themselves or for their sons � valued attractiveness over income.

�We found no evidence of a parent-offspring conflict in the case of a son, meaning that parents showed very similar preferences compared to sons when they had to choose a daughter-in-law/spouse: Both parents and young men have a strong preference for the more physically attractive profile, irrespective of the income of the potential mate,� Bovet said.

�However, we found a different pattern in the case of daughters. In particular, parents seemed to avoid the potential sons-in-law who are both well-off and physically attractive. Young women generally preferred the physically attractive profile but also valued income of the potential mate.�

In other words, daughters viewed the physical attractiveness of a potential spouse as more important than their parents.

This is going to get regurgitated in studies for years without considering that in China a man + money + attractive features = tons of mistresses regardless of marital status. Also man + money = mistresses anyway. Also 5000 years of Chinese culture now being pushed on the rest of the world using this study. If a man is reduced to a provider role, as they are in China, then of course the daughters are going to want the guy their parents force her to marry to at least look ok.

# ? Jul 23, 2018 04:47

peanut: Sep 9, 2007

wow so science

# ? Jul 23, 2018 05:12

simplefish: Mar 28, 2011; So long, and thanks for all the ~~fish~~ gallbladdΣrs!

Bajaj posted:

BIG NEWS EVERYBODY!

https://www.psypost.org/2018/07/daughters-view-the-physical-attractiveness-of-their-spouses-as-more-important-than-their-parents-51829

Yeah I too cared more about my spouse's attractiveness than my parents' attractiveness, is this not normal?

# ? Jul 23, 2018 05:32

WarpedNaba: Feb 8, 2012; Being social makes me swell!

simplefish posted:

Yeah I too cared more about my spouse's attractiveness than my parents' attractiveness, is this not normal?

Depends on how seriously you take the word of Sigmund Freud.

# ? Jul 23, 2018 07:57

Gromit: Aug 15, 2000; I am an oppressed White Male, Asian women wont serve me! Save me Campbell Newman!!!!!!!

Atlas Hugged posted:

Not trusting things on dating profiles is smart though.

Wouldn't someone who lied in their profile say the same lies when asked over a text? I would expect almost all of it to be some sort of stretch of the truth, but how would sending a text verify any of it?
Or are dating profiles just bait to start a chat and then you come clean about your meth habit and lack of millionaireness?

# ? Jul 23, 2018 08:51

tote up a bags: Jun 8, 2006; die stoats die

hate when im trying to break up with my lovely ex but my mom keeps going on about how ripped he is

# ? Jul 23, 2018 09:04

peanut: Sep 9, 2007

lol

# ? Jul 23, 2018 10:53

caberham: Mar 18, 2009; by Smythe; Grimey Drawer

Help london is can be easily over crowded by bad fashion tourists screaming.

My hotel lobby too, I�m so embarrassed help

# ? Jul 23, 2018 11:02

I would blow Dane Cook: Dec 26, 2008

caberham posted:

Help london is can be easily over crowded by bad fashion tourists screaming.

My hotel lobby too, I�m so embarrassed help

# ? Jul 23, 2018 11:14

Steakandchips: Apr 30, 2009

U avin a giggle?

# ? Jul 23, 2018 12:54

peanut: Sep 9, 2007

pro tip drinking in public is not very illegal in england hope that helps

# ? Jul 23, 2018 13:19

Pirate Radar: Apr 18, 2008; You're not my Ruthie!
You're not my Debbie!
You're not my Sherry!

Still dying a little inside every time I think about the guy who decided he liked squirrels enough to want to keep one in his apartment and yet kept relentlessly hammering the button that delivered dead ones right to his front door

# ? Jul 23, 2018 14:21

Bip Roberts: Mar 29, 2005

Now I'm trying to decide if it's a better prank to ship someone a live squirrel or a dead one.

# ? Jul 23, 2018 14:28

Blistex: Oct 30, 2003; Macho Business
Donkey Wrestler

Schr�dinger's Squirrel

# ? Jul 23, 2018 14:37

peanut: Sep 9, 2007

A metaphor for your love life

# ? Jul 23, 2018 14:42

oohhboy: Jun 8, 2013; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

I already died laughing.

# ? Jul 23, 2018 16:27

oohhboy: Jun 8, 2013; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

Sten Freak posted:

https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/asia/china-woman-dong-yaoqiong-disappears-spraying-ink-xi-jinping-a8455166.html

Are these people sent to reeducation camps or executed or what?

https://www.hongkongfp.com/2018/07/23/chinese-protester-splashed-ink-xi-jinping-poster-sent-psychiatric-hospital-report/

# ? Jul 23, 2018 16:44

Let us English: Feb 21, 2004; Actual photo of Let Us English, probably seen here waking his wife up in the morning talking about chemical formulae when all she wants is a hot cup of shhhhh

https://twitter.com/HumansOfLate/status/1021418552191045632

From the C-SPAM thread

# ? Jul 23, 2018 17:13

ninjoatse.cx: Apr 9, 2005; Fun Shoe

Let us English posted:

https://twitter.com/HumansOfLate/status/1021418552191045632

From the C-SPAM thread

hosed up, if true.

# ? Jul 23, 2018 17:25

Meme Poker Party: Sep 1, 2006; by Azathoth

I also like the caption. The "missile frigate" firing it's gun batteries. So many possibilities.

A) It's not a missile frigate, because those are advanced and very expensive. So it's just a conventional frigate but to admit that would be loss of face because all prestigious navies rely on missiles over guns now.

B) Missiles are too expensive to play with so they only use the guns. Kind of like the reports of their military parade equipment never getting used in any other context because it costs too much.

C) The missile system was designed by Chabuduo Engineering Firm and doesn't work.

# ? Jul 23, 2018 17:58

ChaseSP: Mar 25, 2013

Like holy poo poo squirrels are so neurotic like other prey animals such as rabbits that sounds like an awful pet if you don't have space for them to hide in. And taking them on a leash out what the gently caress.

# ? Jul 23, 2018 18:59

Devils Affricate: Jan 22, 2010

lol @ a country being so barren and devoid of life that people pay money to import common pests from other countries

# ? Jul 23, 2018 19:18

Bip Roberts: Mar 29, 2005

Devils Affricate posted:

lol @ a country being so barren and devoid of life that people pay money to import common pests from other countries

They have the prairie dog vacuums to export them as pets to Japan.

# ? Jul 23, 2018 19:31

Ichabod Tane: Oct 30, 2005; A most notable
coward, an infinite and endless liar, an hourly promise breaker, the owner of no one good quality.

https://youtu.be/_Ojd0BdtMBY?t=4

I mean, they capture fish released by Buddhists. They killed all the sparrows by say of exhausting them.

# ? Jul 23, 2018 19:49

BexGu: Jan 9, 2004; This fucking day....

I mean if the squirrel got loose it wouldn't cause that much of a problem...

https://twitter.com/CGTNOfficial/status/1020897479552716803

Oh.....

# ? Jul 23, 2018 20:01

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# ? May 29, 2024 18:41

My Imaginary GF: Jul 17, 2005; by R. Guyovich

BexGu posted:

I mean if the squirrel got loose it wouldn't cause that much of a problem...

https://twitter.com/CGTNOfficial/status/1020897479552716803

Oh.....

I often wonder what the real rate of HIV infection in the mainland population is, what with face culture and the whole 'Chinese don't get HIV' going on.

Does anyone have that quote about China as Mordor handy? I wanna show it to the girl. She's still confused about why that dude kept ordering squirls.

# ? Jul 23, 2018 20:44

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