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Have you thought about getting professional help for your drug problem? Your stories are awesome but you can't carry on doing what you're doing without causing some serious damage dude, goddamn. Slow down a little, see a doctor, stop taking so many pills.
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Jul 24, 2018 21:52
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ok first off, Mr Weed has a wife?! good on him but a little unexpected to hear considering yours and his lifestyle more importantly: Take it it easy and watch out for yourself. I think that the ‘when in doubt, work your rear end off in physical labor’ method works for you like it has for me, hope you find a path between high and sober life you can keep up and enjoy
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Jul 24, 2018 23:54
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Mr. Weed is married? Has this come up before? I was absolutely not picturing him as having a wife. You might consider paying back this boss of yours, who you say is such a wonderful guy, by not getting hammered and missing work when he’s relying on you. Just throwing that out there. I gotta say, the magical drug bazaar sounds kind of awesome. It sounds like something out of Snow Crash, or a William Gibson novel.
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Jul 26, 2018 03:49
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Glad you're ok tell Mr Weed's wife thanks for helping you guys not die on behalf of the internet, great posting as always man.
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Jul 27, 2018 00:27
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Veni Vidi Ameche! posted:I gotta say, the magical drug bazaar sounds kind of awesome. It sounds like something out of Snow Crash, or a William Gibson novel. actually i've wondered the same. I know street markets in central europe but they're usually 25% old copper fixtures (  ), 25% vintage radios and electronics, the rest random old stuff. Is the one you visit like that with an additional Drug Baba you happened to stumble upon, or is there an actual grey/black drug market
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Jul 27, 2018 01:06
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I imagine it’s like any other flea market, with the addition of a magical drug baba selling (probably) blister packs like this; I also imagine she has things that are grey area in Croatia, like Tramadol and Valium. She probably isn’t peddling something like morphine so she keeps a low profile and the cops don’t really care
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Jul 27, 2018 01:29
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Old Binsby posted:ok first off, Mr Weed has a wife?! good on him but a little unexpected to hear considering yours and his lifestyle Veni Vidi Ameche! posted:Mr. Weed is married? Has this come up before? I was absolutely not picturing him as having a wife.
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Jul 27, 2018 07:50
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long time lurker first time poster but uh yeah, MRS. weed ??
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Jul 28, 2018 01:16
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mod saas posted:long time lurker first time poster but uh yeah, MRS. weed ?? Lol this. And not only he's happily married, mr and mrs weed have been together for a full decade already! sure, the guy has tons of frustration and angry but he takes it out on his guitar as mr weed is the sort of guy who is simply incapable of hurting a woman. Might as well, because he's a squirrely little guy while mrs weed is 250lbs of bear-fighting muscle. She is a professional weight lifter who has won many championships, and is generally not someone you should pisd off. Hell, even I excused myself a few times from his apartment late at night because mrs weed seemed annoyed with all the loud music and weed going and I was like Dude your wife's gonna punch me I really should go now. Jokes aside, she means the world to him. I filmed a cute video in which mr weed, stoned, talks about mrs weed. I was going to subtitle an upload it yesterday, but then all three of us got high and watched a quisissential weed movie, la planete sauvage (1973). Had a good time though I can't remember seeing the end of the film.  Phonepostin". Will post more later today.
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Jul 28, 2018 06:00
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GAY 4 ORGANS
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I highlited the fact that while mr weed is often rowdy while under influence, he's never aggtessive - somebody would inevitably say oh noes, with all the drinks, drugs, rock'n'roll and SIN! mrs weed must be one of them women who develop a strange addiction to falling down the stairs. I can personally vouch for the fact that this is not the case. As far as the kids are concerned, even if mr weed wasn't firing blanks, the Weeds wouldn't want kids anyway because they don't want annoying sprogs scampering about, harshing their mellow. So there.
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Jul 28, 2018 06:24
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You could make a fortune selling those drugs to people in America, but I’m not sure of a good way to do it, despite spending years of my life buying benzos through one shady website or another. Those blister packs bring back some memories of having some really blurry memories. Your behavior in general sounds alooooot like mine was, as in eating every substance in front of me not nailed down. This is not a great question, but I have to ask it cuz it was essentially the end stage of my addiction: how easy it is to score hard drugs there? I remember clear as a bell the afternoon I was walking around my downtown area between classes and I thought to myself “hey, i fuckin love painkillers, i wonder how good heroin is” and then, like 5 minutes after consulting a homeless person, sheepishly asking a dealer how this is supposed to work. I love your stories and your attitude, and I have no intention to spoil the joy of many in this thread, but I just wanna throw out a reminder that you can live a sober awesome life.
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Jul 29, 2018 04:43
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I had a dream last that ASF published a fancy illustrated book of his stories about Croatia, drugs, and drugs in Croatia.
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Jul 29, 2018 17:43
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homullus posted:I had a dream last that ASF published a fancy illustrated book of his stories about Croatia, drugs, and drugs in Croatia. things itt occur in the most unpredictable ways imaginable but i kind of hope your dream was a premonition. Wouldn’t be surprised at all if mrs Weed turns out to be a killer illustrator at this point
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Jul 29, 2018 20:54
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Old Binsby posted:things itt occur in the most unpredictable ways imaginable but i kind of hope your dream was a premonition. Wouldn’t be surprised at all if mrs Weed turns out to be a killer at this point Ftfy
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Jul 29, 2018 21:42
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‘didn’t you say i was a killer illustrator? why are your faint-hearted forums buddies so mad? do they think you can just buy red ink in a store somewhere?’ - mrs Weed shortly after sending out the hand printed issue #1 ASF origin story comic, probably (not?? did i jinx it, is that good? this is complicated)
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Jul 29, 2018 22:15
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Just wanted to say this has been a really entertaining thread to read! Thanks for posting all the stories of your adventures and the Croatian history. You sound pretty content in your recent posts and I hope things continue to go well for you with your job and tenants.
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Jul 30, 2018 23:42
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Dr.Caligari posted:I also imagine she has things that are grey area in Croatia, like Tramadol and Valium. She probably isn’t peddling something like morphine so she keeps a low profile and the cops don’t really care She's peddling someone's prescription who decided to sell out and turn their script into cash. All of this is in a legal grey area of course, while I really do have a legit tramadol script, it's just that I'm buying more trams because, as a junkie, I really need them.  The cops would find it hard to build a case against the Drug Baba and I, and even if all of this really did end up going to court, it would have been thrown out for not being worth the legal pursuit. Not sure bout Baba fate though, apparently she's fresh out of jail and this wouldn't look good in court.meanolmrcloud posted:how easy it is to score hard drugs there? Heroin is usually just a few phonecalls away. But then again, if you can score Tramadol, and get something like thirty 75mg pills for tenbux, and have it delivered to your apartment door the same day, would you bother with heroin in the first place? Old Binsby posted:if mrs Weed turns out to be a killer She's a quiet, soft-spoken librarian lady. But if you piss her off, she has the muscle to clobber you and crush your rear end like a bucket. Don't mess with mrs Weed. You have been warned.  Now I'm going to proceed with an update. And oh boy, do I have a story for you. A colleague from our Gypsy company owns a scrap of land in the boonies which he is using as his personal junkyard. It's where we go to burn poo poo to dispose of unwanted things or to recover copper from old electrical wires and cables. The boss takes money from people who give him his old furniture and stuff to dispose it in an "eco-friendly" way, but in reality we just build a big bonfire out of that stuff and burn it all.  This is clearly against the law, but we don't care. We're gypsies basically, above all earthly laws. Fraud is our last name. The plot of land contains piles of random old garbage and there is a tin shack there as well, the purpose of which escapes me for the time. Also a quaint little outhouse. Yesterday we got a special delivery; the boss took money from a demolishing company that tore apart an old building, and there was like twenty trucks worth of scrap wood which had to be disposed in an "eco-friendly" way. Sure thing buddy. The guys already know that I'm a junkie and that I like to burn poo poo, so they gave me a lift and saddled me with a very special task which I was beyond thrilled to delve into: burn EVERYTHING.  There was wood strewn all over the place, so I carefully cleared out a piece of land and built a decent fire there. It was rather windy that day and I took special care that the fire doesn't spread around - if you're burning stuff, you have to respect the fire because the fire won't respect you. I wasn't alone though. The boss's brother was there as well, and he's the sort of person who -- hell, he's simply an rear end in a top hat. A know-it-all rear end in a top hat. Anyways, he wasn't happy with how I was burning wood; told me that this was going way too slow and that my fire and I should hurry up because more trucks would be coming and that the plot had to be cleared out of scraps of loose timber. I then started tossing more poo poo into the fire while still respecting the whole thing. The boss then joined us and I became invisible as it usually happens in such situations - the boss and his brother took the fire away from me, because I was just a bearded lout who happened to be there. Dayum.  The boss then took it upon himself to speed up the fire. Several fire extinguishers were produced, the plan was to contain the fire with them. I poined out that this was completely unrealistic, but bosses brother flicked me off, calling me a "monkey" and a "shithead". Okay, it was business as usual. Anyway, the boss then called in this guy with a piledriver. The idea was to push all the loose timber onto a big heap, ostensibly away from the fire, in order to make room for more timber that would have been delivered soon. The driver said okay, and pushed the timber... right onto the fire.  I was away from the plot at the moment, went out to the gas station to buy some drinks, and when I came back I couldn't believe my eyes - the piledriver was pushing flaming poo poo around, the sparks were flying everywhere, and a pillar of smoke went like three hundred feet into the air. The piledriver then hurriedly excused himself because even he realized that this wasn't exactly a smart move and that the cat was out the bag now.  We then stood there, and watched the fire which was getting bigger and bigger, spreading onto like thirty cubic metres of dry wood. The guys then attempted to use the extinguishers, but I first had to teach them how to use those things - great planning there guys - as they have never seen those things in action. I once again pointed out that those tiny extinguishers simply CAN NOT put out a fire that big, and once again got yelled at. Okay, whatever. The fire then spread onto the shack, the garbage started burning everywhere, the bushes, trees, everything. At that moment, the cops showed up - the boss told me to hide because I was wearing a shirt with our company logo. Burning poo poo is always against the law, but the fines are much lower if you burn poo poo privately - as opposed to burning poo poo as a part of the company's policy. Anyway, the boss either bribed the cops or told them something they wanted to hear - either way, they left, but all of us knew they'd be back soon. The boss then realized that this had gone too far, everything was burning, the outhouse was on fire, everything. He then told me to take off my shirt (I was wearing an off-white wife beater underneath) and to beat it to the gas station which had a little cafe, and have some coffee there and wait for the rest of our crew to pick me up. I did just that, and I put the shirt back on when I was already far from the crime scene. I also put on my Chinese polyester cargo vest which covered the logo, and I was pretty much home free. I had a cup of coffee, and saw that the whole village was being fogged with our smoke. Then three fire trucks blared past the gas station. Who called them and what exactly they did there, I don't/shouldn't know. Something like a hour later, the boss suddenly showed up at the cafe, and handed me a 200 Kuna bill (~$40) and told me to hitch a cab back home on his tab. This was very nice of him, considering the circumstances, so I basically.... went home. The following day I learned that it took firefighters no less than three whole hours to put the wildfire out. Nobody tried to shift the blame onto me, which was sort of nice. The boss said that everything is "okay" now, and that I shouldn't worry, even though our tin shack and the outhouse went up the flames. Where am I going to crap now? Today was kinda wild as well. We went to pick up the old archive papers from a landscaping company which went out of business. They have a huge abandoned industrial complex, strewn with sweet, sweet garbage which is highly The complex was guarded by a loopy old woman whom we distracted with beer - boy did her eyes sparkle when she saw those sweet, sweating beer cans. We picked up the paper in the meantime, but accidentally took some traffic signs and manhole covers as well. This is a classic Gypsy shtick... which totally worked. Tomorrow we're going back there to pick up more paper... from a wooden shack which is being guarded by hornets.  We put up some beer-and-sugar traps for them, and also stocked up on poison and that sticky, expanding caulking foam - which we're going to use to bung up the entrances of their nests. I'm going in there wearing a thick leather jacket, three pairs of pants, and the best of all - a Soviet gas mask from 1990. It's one of those weird "world war I" things with a hose leading towards a separate filter which clips onto your person. This mask also covers your entire head and ears too, which is incredibly important. I don't need a filter for this job, just something to keep the bugs away from my face while I murder them. I'm also going to douse myself with a bug repellent, and I'm going to post again the following day, let's just hope it won't be a phonepost from the hospital...
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Jul 31, 2018 23:12
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A SWEATY FATBEARD posted:Now I'm going to proceed with an update. And oh boy, do I have a story for you. 
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Jul 31, 2018 23:17
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A SWEATY FATBEARD posted:Now I'm going to proceed with an update. And oh boy, do I have a story for you. You were not kidding! 
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Aug 1, 2018 01:00
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ASF: the brand you can trust.
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Aug 1, 2018 03:29
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Great update as always. Also I can vouch for expanding foam doing a number on wasps.
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Aug 1, 2018 04:56
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ASF zipping up his vest covering up the company logo, not looking back at the inferno and cloud pillar behind him sounds like awesome cover art for the comic vol 1, just saying
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Aug 1, 2018 09:12
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We should ask Gogol bordello to write a theme song for you.
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Aug 1, 2018 12:40
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Can we please get a picture of you in your hornet suit?
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Aug 1, 2018 13:01
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neonbregna posted:Can we please get a picture of you in your hornet suit? Also, that story is amazing, I'm honestly surprised our drug addled ASF is the voice of sanity in situations not involving burning chairs!
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Aug 1, 2018 16:23
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........we gave up on the hornet-infested shack. The boss wisely said that forty bucks' worth of paper just ain't something that's worth dying for. neonbregna posted:Can we please get a picture of you in your hornet suit?  And this is yours truly, wearing a western-style gas mask:  Today I learned that neckbeards and gas masks don't go together well (OUCH!!!!) Also, Mr Weed jogged my fizzled-out memory and told me of our first contact, right after he moved in. His friend, the Doggo Lady, shaved Mr Weeds dick on that fateful day, and then the Doggo Lady, being high as a kite, went ringing on all the doors in order to brag about how she did such a spectacularly good job shaving the guy's dick (?????) ........so basically that's how Mr Weed and I first met. Wow. I shaved off my beard today, it was hot, itchy and all kinds of gross. I'm in summer mode right now, the beard is now growing from scratch again and I timed the beard in order to be in full Remove Kebab Santa mode by Christmas.
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Aug 1, 2018 19:09
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sup bro(z)! menacing look, RIP in advance @the hornets
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Aug 1, 2018 19:20
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Sten Freak posted:Also I can vouch for expanding foam doing a number on wasps. Brake cleaning fluid also works a treat. Really makes 'em twitch, I think it's neurotoxic or some poo poo.
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Aug 2, 2018 01:34
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What’s up with the Soviet army guy over your shoulder?
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Aug 2, 2018 02:15
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PT6A posted:Brake cleaning fluid also works a treat. Really makes 'em twitch, I think it's neurotoxic or some poo poo. Yeah tetrachloroethylene in brake cleaner is a CNS depressant (it's C2Cl4 and chloroform is CHCl3) and it'll gently caress you up. Especially if you heat it up and release phosgene gas  Also probably causes cancer.
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Aug 2, 2018 03:25
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Dr.Caligari posted:What’s up with the Soviet army guy over your shoulder? https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Josip_Broz_Tito Also, I respect having portrait of that guy on the wall in TYOOL 2018.
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Aug 2, 2018 03:38
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Tito was a pretty objectively good statesman at the very least.
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Aug 2, 2018 04:24
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SENSUAL DAD KISS posted:Tito was a pretty objectively good statesman at the very least. Josip Broz, dobar skroz! :iamafag: That portrait is yet another of those strange things being sold at the flea market. In fact, many other stateman portraits are available for peanuts, so you, as a discerning shhopper, can pick out your dictator of choice, nazi or commie.
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Aug 2, 2018 06:36
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Tito was one cool mofo, not your run of the mill commie dictator like Mao or Brezhnev. Another thing that sets him apart was the way he was buried -- like a decent human being, instead of being embalmed and turned into a grotesque state-sponsored ham in a glass box.
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Aug 2, 2018 07:38
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SENSUAL DAD KISS posted:Yeah tetrachloroethylene in brake cleaner is a CNS depressant (it's C2Cl4 and chloroform is CHCl3) and it'll gently caress you up. Especially if you heat it up and release phosgene gas Reminds me of a time I was helping my mechanic friend work on a car one night. He ran out of brake parts cleaner so he handed me some cash and asked me to run and pick some up, said "Just grab a whole box of it, I go through it like crazy." So there I am buying nothing but 12 cans of brake parts cleaner at 8pm on a Friday. The guy behind the counter gave me the dirtiest look and the most sarcastic "have a nice night" I've ever heard. edit: haha, why did I even post this story in this thread? it's like shining a flashlight at the sun. Mimesweeper fucked around with this message at 23:37 on Aug 2, 2018 |
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Aug 2, 2018 23:27
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A SWEATY FATBEARD posted:Also, Mr Weed jogged my fizzled-out memory and told me of our first contact, right after he moved in. His friend, the Doggo Lady, shaved Mr Weeds dick on that fateful day, and then the Doggo Lady, being high as a kite, went ringing on all the doors in order to brag about how she did such a spectacularly good job shaving the guy's dick (?????) Is... is this literal, or a euphemism for Mr Weed cheating on his bodybuilder wife? And if it's literal, then what the actual gently caress?
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Aug 4, 2018 16:13
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Lead out in cuffs posted:Is... is this literal, or a euphemism for Mr Weed cheating on his bodybuilder wife? I think we already established that ASF's friends are not exactly the type who conform to social norms. In good ol' U.S. of A. we'd classify them as typical trailer-park denizens. But yeah...ASF, we'll need some clarification here. Where was the muscle lady at this particular point in time?
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Aug 4, 2018 16:52
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Yeah, I seem to remember that there were some shenanigans with Mr. Weed and Doggo Lady a while back... Really curious as to what's going on 
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Aug 4, 2018 17:13
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Teketeketeketeke posted:Yeah, I seem to remember that there were some shenanigans with Mr. Weed and Doggo Lady a while back... Really curious as to what's going on The Weeds are Swingers. 
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Aug 4, 2018 20:46
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A SWEATY FATBEARD posted:The Weeds are Swingers.
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Aug 4, 2018 20:54
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