/r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

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LadyPictureShow: Nov 18, 2005; Success!

My mom [54F] won�t let my brother [14M] grow up and I�m worried he�s gonna lack basic skills

quote:

I am the oldest of two kids. I am a 20 year old female and my brother is 14. I grew up babysitting him a lot due to the 7 year age gap. A lot of the times this would annoy me during my teen years during summer when I wanted to hang with friends but was stuck watching my brother because my parents were working. But still, my brother was pretty young so even I was kind of nervous to leave him on his own.

However, my brother is 14 now, a reasonable age to be taking care of himself, but my mother refuses to teach him how, I�m guessing because he�s the youngest and still her baby, but I�m afraid it will affect him later.

My brother barely knows how to feed himself. He can really only microwave because my mom is afraid to let him use the stove. But he has taken cooking classes at school before so he knows what he�s doing. I�m not expecting him to be a master chef, but there are meals like mac and cheese and ramen that he enjoys but cannot cook for himself. To this day my mom still asks me to stay home to cook these things for him.

He doesn�t know how to wash dishes and do other things with his hands (ha ha not that). My mom doesn�t let my brother do dishes, pick up pots (another reason he can�t use the stove), and other things because my mom is afraid he is too weak and will drop things. She says he has bad motor skills, which he does a bit, but he can definitely develop them (he�s great at video games), but he�s just not being taught. Today I literally had to teach him how to tie a rubber band around a chip bag and he was really struggling.

He doesn�t know how to protect himself in the house. A bit ago I asked him if he knew our address and what to do in case of emergencies and he said no. I understand with technology these days, he might not need to know our address, but as a kid I had safety procedures drilled into my head. I think my mom is relying on me to protect him which is why I still have o babysit him.

Shaving...now this one I don�t know if it�s really an issue. But my brother has been rocking that gross teen stache for a while now. He told me he wanted to shave it because it made him feel ugly. There were a lot of things regarding puberty that I wasn�t taught that made me feel awkward so I didn�t want my brother to feel the same. But whenever I bring up shaving to my mom she gets very angry and says he�s not ready or she�ll teach him eventually. The conversation is short and abrupt. I�ve thought of teaching him myself, but my mom would be furious.

Those are just a few things. There are other things he learned very late as a result of my overprotective mom. I�ve been trying to teach him these things myself, but he only does them when I tell him. If I bring it up to my mom, she gets angry, but it would be nice if she encouraged him to grow up a bit too so he could make these things a habit.

Yes, some of it is still me wishing I didn�t have to babysit him. But at this age, I knew how to take after myself if left alone. I have friends with siblings his age or younger who also know. Hell, I was his age when I had to take care of myself and him. However, I know it�s not my place to tell my mom how to parent.

Is this really a problem or is he at an okay pace for his age? Should I stop worrying?

TL;DR: My mom won�t teach my brother how to take care of himself (cook, chores, shave) and I�m afraid he�s gonna be a giant man-child when he grows up.

Edit: I should say my dad is kinda in the same position as me. I think he wants my brother to learn these things, but knows how attached my mom is to her baby boy so he kinda stays out of it.

# ? Aug 1, 2018 05:23

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# ? Jun 12, 2024 13:43

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

You think that's bad, I sent star trek stickers out to goons and you would not BELIEVE how many people can't format an address. have you people never gotten a mail before?!

ontario, honk-on-weak
loukestershire, circle stra� 3498 suite ə
care of: poopington dundershire
298423 (zip code)
IOWA

Pick fucked around with this message at 05:27 on Aug 1, 2018

# ? Aug 1, 2018 05:25

the holy poopacy: May 16, 2009; hey! check this out; Fun Shoe

luxury handset posted:

the leasing agency may have failed to notify her of the HOA but it applies to the owner of the unit, regardless, and she will be responsible for any fines that may arise (because her landlord will extract them from her)

sucks to be hit with a surprise HOA out of nowhere but those are the breaks. if the landlord fails to inform you of something like this its real lovely but you still have to adhere to the bylaws

For what it's worth the lease actually had all of the contact details for the HOA, the OP's argument is that because the landlord didn't check the "check here for HOA" box next to all of the HOA info she should be able to claim the lease doesn't say anything about a HOA.

Regardless, the landlord definitely did not disclose the HOA regulations and has admitted that they weren't aware of them when the lease was signed, so best case scenario the OP has a decent argument for breaking the lease early due to material omissions.

Again, though, there's no scenario where the OP just gets free run of HOA property.

# ? Aug 1, 2018 05:33

ArbitraryC: Jan 28, 2009; Pick a number, any number; Pillbug

luxury handset posted:

the leasing agency may have failed to notify her of the HOA but it applies to the owner of the unit, regardless, and she will be responsible for any fines that may arise (because her landlord will extract them from her)

sucks to be hit with a surprise HOA out of nowhere but those are the breaks. if the landlord fails to inform you of something like this its real lovely but you still have to adhere to the bylaws

I'm no law expert but this doesn't feel right. If you were on the hook for HOA you never even had the chance to agree to because they weren't part of any formal contract you signed then there'd be nothing stopping shady places from just adding a ridiculous "the next person to buy property here has to pay infinity dollars as an HOA fee". Obviously that's an extreme example but fine's for having your dog pee in your own yard also come across to me as something no one would reasonably expect and should have to be disclosed in the contract.

Whether or not it's worth actually fighting over is a different question entirely, but that just feels way too exploitable to be explicitly legal.

# ? Aug 1, 2018 05:33

Orkin Mang: Nov 1, 2007; by FactsAreUseless

ArbitraryC posted:

I'm no law expert but this doesn't feel right. If you were on the hook for HOA you never even had the chance to agree to because they weren't part of any formal contract you signed then there'd be nothing stopping shady places from just adding a ridiculous "the next person to buy property here has to pay infinity dollars as an HOA fee". Obviously that's an extreme example but fine's for having your dog pee in your own yard also come across to me as something no one would reasonably expect and should have to be disclosed in the contract.

Whether or not it's worth actually fighting over is a different question entirely, but that just feels way too exploitable to be explicitly legal.

much like the speed limit in gta4

# ? Aug 1, 2018 05:34

ArbitraryC: Jan 28, 2009; Pick a number, any number; Pillbug

Pick posted:

You think that's bad, I sent star trek stickers out to goons and you would not BELIEVE how many people can't format an address. have you people never gotten a mail before?!

ontario, honk-on-weak
loukestershire, circle stra� 3498 suite ə
care of: poopington dundershire
298423 (zip code)
IOWA

How exactly did they get their address wrong, it feels so obvious I can't even guess what you'd gently caress up.

# ? Aug 1, 2018 05:36

Anne Whateley: Feb 11, 2007; i like nice words

you quoted the example of ways people gently caress it up??

# ? Aug 1, 2018 05:39

mllaneza: Apr 28, 2007; Veteran, Bermuda Triangle Expeditionary Force, 1993-1952

It would have to go to court to be settled, and the side with the best lawyer would prevail. it's a hosed up situation; the contract as executed doesn't bind the tenant to the HOA, there was no due diligence about informing the tenant of the rules of the HOA (this is likely to be decisive, you can't collect if you never told the person they might be liable for something), and the HOA owned amenities should be available to the OP because they signed a lease in response to an advertisement that mentioned them as benefits and didn't disclose the HOA details.

OP acted in good faith; the leasing agent was negligent; and the HOA might be able to collect from the leasing agent, but has no legal relationship with the OP.

# ? Aug 1, 2018 05:40

the holy poopacy: May 16, 2009; hey! check this out; Fun Shoe

ArbitraryC posted:

fine's for having your dog pee in your own yard

Except it's not her yard, or even her landlord's yard. A condo HOA is different from a neighborhood HOA in that it actually owns all of the commons areas, which typically includes everything beyond the 4 walls of each unit (except maybe a patio.)

Even if the paperwork is hosed up enough that the tenant has no legal relationship or obligations to the HOA, the landlord can't grant them the right to let their dog pee on someone else's lawn.

# ? Aug 1, 2018 05:44

Bored: Jul 26, 2007; Dude, ix-nay on the oice-vay.

Barudak posted:

Wait there are classes to take to be a drag queen? Is there a Drag-Sensei? Is there a kid doing a bunch of chores for a neighborhood janitor like cleaning out an old VHS collection of To Wong Foo Thanks for Everything, Love Julie Newmar tapes not realizing its training him to be the best around?

"my son is a second degree bedazzle pink belt!" :bigtran:

# ? Aug 1, 2018 05:49

Mr. Fall Down Terror: Jan 24, 2018; by Fluffdaddy

ArbitraryC posted:

I'm no law expert but this doesn't feel right. If you were on the hook for HOA you never even had the chance to agree to because they weren't part of any formal contract you signed then there'd be nothing stopping shady places from just adding a ridiculous "the next person to buy property here has to pay infinity dollars as an HOA fee". Obviously that's an extreme example but fine's for having your dog pee in your own yard also come across to me as something no one would reasonably expect and should have to be disclosed in the contract.

as a rentier your rights are pretty much dick all and if your landlord forgets to tell you that you're in an HOA then the joke is on you when you get a notice about violating the bylaws taped to your door. ignorance is no excuse and the person you need to be complaining to is also the person who can choose to evict you if you raise too much of a fuss about it

the renter does not have a yard. the HOA owns the yard which is why they can tell the renter to stop letting their dog piss on it

Straight White Shark posted:

Regardless, the landlord definitely did not disclose the HOA regulations and has admitted that they weren't aware of them when the lease was signed, so best case scenario the OP has a decent argument for breaking the lease early due to material omissions.

yeah the only recourse here is to lawyer up, which few renters can afford to do on a whim (it is easier to just break the lease and eat any penalties)

Mr. Fall Down Terror fucked around with this message at 05:55 on Aug 1, 2018

# ? Aug 1, 2018 05:53

ArbitraryC: Jan 28, 2009; Pick a number, any number; Pillbug

Anne Whateley posted:

you quoted the example of ways people gently caress it up??

it was hard to read, I mean you got your name, address, city/state/zipocode, where exactly could you go wrong.

mllaneza posted:

It would have to go to court to be settled, and the side with the best lawyer would prevail. it's a hosed up situation; the contract as executed doesn't bind the tenant to the HOA, there was no due diligence about informing the tenant of the rules of the HOA (this is likely to be decisive, you can't collect if you never told the person they might be liable for something), and the HOA owned amenities should be available to the OP because they signed a lease in response to an advertisement that mentioned them as benefits and didn't disclose the HOA details.

OP acted in good faith; the leasing agent was negligent; and the HOA might be able to collect from the leasing agent, but has no legal relationship with the OP.

Hope that's how it works out

# ? Aug 1, 2018 05:55

Mr. Fall Down Terror: Jan 24, 2018; by Fluffdaddy

mllaneza posted:

OP acted in good faith; the leasing agent was negligent; and the HOA might be able to collect from the leasing agent, but has no legal relationship with the OP.

yeah but also almost certainly there's a clause in the lease that allows the landlord to pass any unexpected fees or expenses etc. on to the renter

# ? Aug 1, 2018 05:56

Sagebrush: Feb 26, 2012

Midnight Voyager posted:

Yeah, progressive politics are real regressive. Wait what?

some of the real chuds have switched from calling leftism "progressive" to "regressive" because words don't mean anything any more and "regressive" is clearly a more negative sounding term and pee pee doo doo lieberals bad.

# ? Aug 1, 2018 06:01

ArbitraryC: Jan 28, 2009; Pick a number, any number; Pillbug

luxury handset posted:

as a rentier your rights are pretty much dick all and if your landlord forgets to tell you that you're in an HOA then the joke is on you when you get a notice about violating the bylaws taped to your door. ignorance is no excuse and the person you need to be complaining to is also the person who can choose to evict you if you raise too much of a fuss about it

the renter does not have a yard. the HOA owns the yard which is why they can tell the renter to stop letting their dog piss on it

yeah the only recourse here is to lawyer up, which few renters can afford to do on a whim (it is easier to just break the lease and eat any penalties)

Reddit lawyers seem p mixed, feels like the general consensus is OP can do w/e and the fines will go to the person who leased it to them but they'll probably end up wasting a lot of time/money fighting it.

i dunno, it seems just obviously wrong to me that it'd even be an issue in the first place. They advertised one thing, didn't mention any caveats in the contract, and then changed the rules to something the person obviously wouldn't have agreed to initially. Isn't that basically fraud? Feels like whoever rented to OP is the one who should be on the hook.

# ? Aug 1, 2018 06:01

ArbitraryC: Jan 28, 2009; Pick a number, any number; Pillbug

Sagebrush posted:

some of the real chuds have switched from calling leftism "progressive" to "regressive" because words don't mean anything any more and "regressive" is clearly a more negative sounding term and pee pee doo doo lieberals bad.

well there are some regressive sounding policies among the wokest of the woke internet warriors, our forums themselves had some people pretty against interracial dating from weird leftist viewpoints. Back when they were around al cowens/sabel had a p solid screencap of DnD goons saying incredibly racist things about asians to justify why it wasn't okay for white people to date them.

ArbitraryC fucked around with this message at 06:19 on Aug 1, 2018

# ? Aug 1, 2018 06:05

Mr. Fall Down Terror: Jan 24, 2018; by Fluffdaddy

ArbitraryC posted:

i dunno, it seems just obviously wrong to me that it'd even be an issue in the first place. They advertised one thing, didn't mention any caveats in the contract, and then changed the rules to something the person obviously wouldn't have agreed to initially. Isn't that basically fraud? Feels like whoever rented to OP is the one who should be on the hook.

the person who rented to OP is on the hook but the thing about piss is it trickles downhill

this is totally a fuckup on the landlord's part but if your landlord is having a bad time w/r/t your housing situation then by default, you are also having a bad time. especially if your behavior is causing your landlord penalties and fees. that is absolutely a fast road to eviction town

# ? Aug 1, 2018 06:06

mllaneza: Apr 28, 2007; Veteran, Bermuda Triangle Expeditionary Force, 1993-1952

luxury handset posted:

the person who rented to OP is on the hook but the thing about piss is it trickles downhill

this is totally a fuckup on the landlord's part but if your landlord is having a bad time w/r/t your housing situation then by default, you are also having a bad time. especially if your behavior is causing your landlord penalties and fees. that is absolutely a fast road to eviction town

drat right. But the side with the best lawyer still comes out ahead.

# ? Aug 1, 2018 06:41

Such Fun: May 6, 2013

This HOA chat, fuuuuuuuck

Pick, please safe us, say something horrible!

# ? Aug 1, 2018 07:51

Ziv Zulander: Mar 24, 2017; ZZ for short

Such Fun posted:

This HOA chat, fuuuuuuuck

Pick, please safe us, say something horrible!

pick, probably posted:

My mom used to beat me for being on my period; this is why men are incapable of love

# ? Aug 1, 2018 07:55

Ghost Leviathan: Mar 2, 2017; Exploration is ill-advised.

Bored posted:

"my son is a second degree bedazzle pink belt!" :bigtran:

One Piece was right about the island queendom of martial artist drag queens.

# ? Aug 1, 2018 07:55

Ghost Leviathan: Mar 2, 2017; Exploration is ill-advised.

LadyPictureShow posted:

My mom [54F] won�t let my brother [14M] grow up and I�m worried he�s gonna lack basic skills

I was surprised that the dad's actually in the picture. Mom should get a dog or something to get her dependence fix.

Edit: Another possible buried lede on that, the family's Asian. Might be a case of a Little Emperor where the family expects he will always have a women to do these things for him, then are surprised when he turns out to be a helpless manbaby that women don't want anything to do with.

Ghost Leviathan fucked around with this message at 08:02 on Aug 1, 2018

# ? Aug 1, 2018 07:56

ArbitraryC: Jan 28, 2009; Pick a number, any number; Pillbug

LadyPictureShow posted:

My mom [54F] won�t let my brother [14M] grow up and I�m worried he�s gonna lack basic skills

I mean the mom sounds like an issue in some regards but I gotta wonder if this kid just has developmental disabilities of his own and that's in part why he gets babied so hard. No one taught me how to close a bag with a band it's just something you should pick up naturally when you take em off. The puberty learning curve is a concern too but again, i was raised by a single mom and she didn't teach me how to shave or tie a tie, I just figured it out on my own/with the internet.

Like life lessons and more conceptual development you basically need someone experienced and caring to teach you but there's p much zero reason to be stumped on basic "how do I" poo poo as a teen who uses computers when there are countless youtube videos for anything you need help on. How to seal a bag of chips or cook a bag of ramen is not something that really needs direct training.

# ? Aug 1, 2018 08:09

Ghost Leviathan: Mar 2, 2017; Exploration is ill-advised.

ArbitraryC posted:

I mean the mom sounds like an issue in some regards but I gotta wonder if this kid just has developmental disabilities of his own and that's in part why he gets babied so hard. No one taught me how to close a bag with a band it's just something you should pick up naturally when you take em off. The puberty learning curve is a concern too but again, i was raised by a single mom and she didn't teach me how to shave or tie a tie, I just figured it out on my own/with the internet.

Like life lessons and more conceptual development you basically need someone experienced and caring to teach you but there's p much zero reason to be stumped on basic "how do I" poo poo as a teen who uses computers when there are countless youtube videos for anything you need help on. How to seal a bag of chips or cook a bag of ramen is not something that really needs direct training.

It's really hard to tell at times. Sufficiently lovely parenting can be almost indistinguishable from learning disabilities, and can massively impact the severity of disorders like autism.

# ? Aug 1, 2018 08:16

Runcible Cat: May 28, 2007; Ignoring this post

Bored posted:

"my son is a second degree bedazzle pink belt!" :bigtran:

I�m imagining it as something out of Modelland. Intoxibellas all over the place. Thigh-High Boot Camp. Hell yeah.

# ? Aug 1, 2018 09:19

Milotic: Mar 4, 2009; 9CL apologist; Slippery Tilde

Sorry for the lack of line breaks. There�s a comment by op which I�ve included separately

Wife (40f) wants me (40m) to go NC with family members or divorce

quote:

u/whatstrue123
Background: We have been married about two years. I have a 15 year old daughter from previous relationship. My daughters mother (DM) and I have had an amicable for the most part partnership raising daughter. Up til my marriage. DM is married and there is nothing suspicious regarding our relationship. Although wife was always saying we were too close and it was unnecessary for her to be around so much at family functions, etc. that�s how things had always been for sake of my daughter . Just seemed normal to me and my family. Eventually it came to a head just before we married. DM and I were in frivolous dispute and wife spoke up in group text with me, DM and wife. DM said some things that were rude, offensive and belittled our marriage. After that wife wanted me to go NC with DM. This caused a big rift within my family. This has been major point of contention with my wife and I and is a major problem as I don�t want to go NC as my daughter lives an hour away and it�s easier to coordinate and know about daughter. Relationship w daughter also became strained. This has been ongoing. Then my family got involved and had offended my wife as they were getting involved. My wife made me realize there were boundary issues within my family. Mainly that my family doesn�t have boundaries. I finally recognize this and addressed my family through lengthy email and conversations. Since then one sister apologized to wife for rude text she sent. Other sister wouldn�t apologize and I am NC with her for past 3 months. It came to a head again last week after I reached out to DM because my daughter wasn�t responding to my calls or texts. DM offers advice and I take daughter to lunch. Things are looking up and when I share the information with wife she blows up and tells me I need to go NC with DM and my sisters. Basically saying that these people have have disrespected her and our marriage. I think her stance is too harsh. I have set boundaries with these people and know better now how to manage the relationships. Wife is filing for divorce today I think. Only way to save marriage is if I agree to go NC with DM and both sisters. I am pleading with wife to trust that I recognize my errors letting others influence my feelings and get me worked up causing fights w wife. Family is clear where they stand and wife is first but nobody can accept her hard stance on all of these relationships. Although they are staying out of it now. I have definitely limited my relationships with them but I don�t think I need to go NC. There should be some understanding from wife. My family is very close and I am in very tough position. Upcoming things like graduation parties and other events for my daughter I will either need to miss or i have to celebrate separately without DM present. Basically it�s Wife or my family (and contact w DM). What to do?

TL/DR: wife will divorce me if I do t agree to go NC with sisters and daughter�s mother.

Comment

quote:

DM and I are cordial. The only lingering problem is my wife said we have no room in our lives for people that disrespect us, wife or our marriage. She has said that if daughter has a problem with wife maybe we need to go NC with her too. That�s where I really started drawing the line. I mean my daughter is not wanting much to do with me for my past actions fighting with her about not spending more time with me. I have apologized for this behavior. But I�m not giving up on our relationship.

I think the new wife has been reading reddit comments too much and now think it�s ok to go no contact at the drop of a hat. Sometimes you have to put up with stuff.

# ? Aug 1, 2018 09:27

Milotic: Mar 4, 2009; 9CL apologist; Slippery Tilde

Have I gone crazy? (F23) (m30)

quote:

u/whatshappeninggggh
We've been together for almost two years. He's been a wonderful boyfriend. We've been talking about our future together. Barely fight. I love him. So tell me if I'm being paranoid.

My boyfriend doesn't like to eat me out. We waited two months to have sex. There's few times where he lost his boner but he chalked it up as stress. He was going through stress with his IT job and his master. I believed him. I have my own business and going to school as well. We don't live together yet, but we see each other every weekends or during weekdays where our schedule allow us to. We probably have sex about once-twice a week. Not as much as a want but that's how things are at the moment. I'm not insecure about my body. And just to give you guys and idea. I have a good body, I'm attractive. Good diet, so i know it's not an attraction issue.

Now onto the problem, we were playing around instagram, as he was scrolling through, i noticed a picture of a trans girl. He said she's an acquaintance, but i have never ever heard or seen this girl before. Something just doesn't feel right. I looked her name she put on instagram on google search. Third entry is a link to her escort website. She could be a friend, yes, i know. But our lack of sex and this. I don't know. Please tell me if I'm just being paranoid.

Is this worth bringing up?

Tl;dr: my boyfriend is following a transgender escort on a social media. What's happening?

Innocent, or hiding a dark secret - you the jury must decide?

# ? Aug 1, 2018 09:47

Milotic: Mar 4, 2009; 9CL apologist; Slippery Tilde

My boyfriend says I�m too horny for him

quote:

u/snowwhite6666
My boyfriend (25M) and I (23F) have been dating for 6 years. When we started dating we had sex about 5 times a day... now it�s about 4 times a week but I feel like he isn�t into it as much as I am. I am the one who has to initiate the sex and do all the work (don�t get me wrong, it�s still pretty great) but lately he has been saying that I am too kinky and too horny and it makes him uncomfortable. I asked him if he could gently caress me while I had a buttplug in and he thought it was the most disgusting thing ever but he went along with it even though I could tell he didn�t really want to. He also doesn�t want me watching porn or having sex toys. (I do, secretly) If it were up to me we would have sex at least once a day and it wouldn�t be quite as boring. I love him a lot but I feel like we aren�t on the same page. Since I don�t have as much sex as I want I seem to be extremely horny... like all I can think about is sex. Sometimes I think about loving guys I work with. (I don�t do it but it makes me feel bad that I want to) I just want to be hosed and feel like the guy actually wants to be loving me.

TL;DR I don�t know what to do because I care about him but he makes me feel like I�m unwanted.

Huh, I wonder what that�s about?

quote:

Is it possible that your bf has a lot on his mind? Is there something that's bothering him or stressing out?

quote:

I appreciate this. I didn�t think of it like that. We are pretty happy I think... the only thing that Has bothered him recently was me getting a new job. He was annoyed by the fact I now make double than what he does (I did not point this out... I don�t care about money) but he seemed mad about it and thinks women shouldn�t be making more than men (he wishes he lived in the 50�s pretty much) maybe this is what is bothering him... other than that we don�t argue and he is seemingly a happy person but I will inquire about his feelings more

Oh, that�s probably it.

# ? Aug 1, 2018 09:55

Alan_Shore: Dec 2, 2004

Someone please explain Jordan Peterson to me. Is he a dick? Genius? Sometimes ok? Had some good ideas? What's all the fuss?

# ? Aug 1, 2018 12:05

Theophany: Jul 22, 2014; SUCCHIAMI IL MIO CAZZO DA DIETRO, RANA RAGAZZO

2022 FIA Formula 1 WDC

Alan_Shore posted:

Someone please explain Jordan Peterson to me. Is he a dick? Genius? Sometimes ok? Had some good ideas? What's all the fuss?

MRA garbage masquerading as intelligent thought. Don't waste time on it.

# ? Aug 1, 2018 12:08

Darkhold: Feb 19, 2011; No Heart❤️
No Soul👻
No Service🙅

He's Alt-Right and just smart enough not to openly call himself alt-right and dodge direct questions about some of his more awful beliefs.

Apparently some of his purely academic papers are fairly good but all of his opinion piece is stuff like 'Women and men can't work together because women will make the men too horny to work and tank productivity.' His misogyny is more notable than his racism but he's got plenty of both.

He's also put out some boilerplate self help stuff like 'clean up your own life before you worry about others' which people who already like him hail as revolutionary.

# ? Aug 1, 2018 12:09

Mr. Lobe: Feb 23, 2007; ... Dry bones...

the alt right clings to him and elevates him because he is couched in academia and therefore can offer them a veneer of intellectualism over their reactionary ideas

he also sounds like kermit the frog and is also a weirdo who eats only meat but says uh chicken makes him dizzy, which considering he also has weird ideology about the loss of masculinity in modern culture or whatever, I don't know how he squares that circle lol

# ? Aug 1, 2018 12:30

Penguissimo: Apr 7, 2007

Mr. Lobe posted:

the alt right clings to him and elevates him because he is couched in academia and therefore can offer them a veneer of intellectualism over their reactionary ideas

he also sounds like kermit the frog and is also a weirdo who eats only meat but says uh chicken makes him dizzy, which considering he also has weird ideology about the loss of masculinity in modern culture or whatever, I don't know how he squares that circle lol

Obviously chicken is a feminine meat that robs him of his masculinity, thus leaving him weak

# ? Aug 1, 2018 12:40

tactlessbastard: Feb 4, 2001; Godspeed, post; Fun Shoe

Penguissimo posted:

Obviously chicken is a feminine meat that robs him of his masculinity, thus leaving him weak

Let's check with noted crazy person and government employee Jim Harbaugh:

quote:

Former Michigan (and current UCLA) quarterback Wilton Speight tells a story to sum it up nicely. Early in his Michigan tenure, Harbaugh pulled Speight aside and told him not to eat chicken, a protein that is considered fairly safe by nutritionists. When Speight asked why, Harbaugh said, “because it’s a nervous bird.”

“He thinks some type of sickness injected its way into the human population when people began eating white meats instead of beef and pork,” Speight says. “And he believes it, 100 percent.”

# ? Aug 1, 2018 12:43

MightyJoe36: Dec 29, 2013; Cat Army

Hellblazer187 posted:

What if I run for president and my entire platform is I'm going to nuke the reddit servers?

Are you running on the No Fun Allowed platform?

# ? Aug 1, 2018 12:50

MightyJoe36: Dec 29, 2013; Cat Army

Pick posted:

none of those ivy league dorks are ever actually that smart. oooooo a top 1% law school. who loving cares, there are so many goddamn bozos in those schools it's wild.

It doesn't take brains to get in to a top 1% law school. Only connections and lots of money.

# ? Aug 1, 2018 12:57

Buzkashi: Feb 4, 2003; College Slice

Helpless 14 y/o brother update

quote:

Hey all. I know it's quite early for an update post, but quite a bit has happened since my original post. I got a slew of comments that inspired me to take action as I was receiving them. I just want to clear up some things before I go on (if you just want the update, you can skip this part):

A lot of comments were encouraging me to teach my brother these skills myself when I have to babysit him. I mentioned in the post that I have been doing so, but I just wish my parents would encourage him as well as he only dos things when told (like most teens) and then it becomes a habit.
To my surprise many people were bringing up my dad and his lack of involvement. I never thought of it this way since he's definitely been the better parent in this scenario. I just want to clarify that he isn't completely uninvolved and it was my mistake for making it sound like that. There were a few issues in the past in which he somewhat scolded my mom for babying my brother to much with certain things. After I joined in, these things changed and my brother *did* form habits and develop skills. For example, he was the one who convinced my mom to let my brother stay home alone for the first time. (I know I mentioned babysitting my brother, which I do, but sometimes he can stay home alone as long as it's not more than a few hours). However, my dad could definitely be better.
There were some comments about me being an adult. Now this is another testament to my mother's ways. To her, I'm still a kid and she is still the parent. I really value communication so I always try to talk to her as an adult but she is stubborn and I am always wrong by default. To her, I can't know better than her since I'm not a parent and still a child to her. (We've had multiple arguments this year about me attempting to assert my independence and her thinking she knows what is best for me simply just because she's my mom even though I'm an adult. You can see history is repeating itself).

Anyway, as I was getting advice today, I made my brother cook his own food, do the dishes, clean the table, and then took him upstairs to shave. I know it sounds too wrapped up in a bow (it won't be later), but I was sick of waiting. He did a good job with everything (except he cut himself a few times shaving, but that was to be expected) and I told him in an attempt to encourage him. He was very good with the dishes actually, because like I said he took cooking classes at school so he knew how, he just needed a kick in the rear end.

So now the talk with the parents. My parents were having dinner so I talked to them (my brother and I weren't hungry yet so he was upstairs). I told them the reason I made him do these things was because I noticed that he was struggling to simply tie a rubber band around a chip bag. This was the segue into saying he doesn't know how to do much and might not know how to do anything when he's older. Luckily my dad backed me even when my mom disagreed. He was very supportive and agreed that my brother should know these things and that my mom is babying him too much. Not the end of it though.

Later that night my mom ended up buying a pizza for my brother so he wouldn't have to cook tomorrow...I know...anyway I brought it up to her again and got kind of frustrated. I'll admit, this was one of the times where I did not talk to her like an adult and kind of lost my cool because like most times, she tried to shut down the convo. She asked if we could stop talking about it because she was stressed, but I persisted. She got angry and told me I shouldn't tell her how to parent, to let her do it her way, and that she *will* teach him. But I know from the past that that only pushes things further back. A main issue was that she was concerned with my brother burning down the house. Earlier at dinner my dad agreed that my brother should be cooking his own food, but my mom said only when someone else is home. My dad said my brother should be allowed to cook alone as long as he stays in the kitchen/dining room so he can keep an eye on the food. In my one on one with my mom she was very adamant that this was not going to happen. She said he can cook, but only under supervision. No word about the dishes so idk. As far as shaving, she hasn't noticed lol. And apparently he does know our address, but I'm still gonna go over safety with him (with my dad's help).

I'm going to talk to my dad again tomorrow in private and see if we can work as a team to combat my mom's babying of my brother and encourage him to be more independent. I'm very positive he will be supportive in the plan as like I said he was in the past. I think two people are needed to work against my mom's stubbornness. I'm also hoping to talk to my mom again in a more calm manner as I regret my frustrated approach. They're all going camping in a few days so hopefully it will all cool down, but I know that if me, my dad, and my brother don't stay active about this it will be swept under the rug.

Thank you to everyone for their advice and especially those who were able to relate to my situation and shared their personal experiences in return. Wish us luck! I believe in my little brother, he just needs more people to believe in him too!

TL;DR: Talked to dad, he took it well. Talked to mom, not so much, It will take time and won't be easy, but my dad and I are gonna work together to combat my mom's overprotectiveness and stubbornness and help my brother out.

Pretty constructive/boring it seems, but good on her

# ? Aug 1, 2018 13:16

LadyPictureShow: Nov 18, 2005; Success!

Ghost Leviathan posted:

I was surprised that the dad's actually in the picture. Mom should get a dog or something to get her dependence fix.

Edit: Another possible buried lede on that, the family's Asian. Might be a case of a Little Emperor where the family expects he will always have a women to do these things for him, then are surprised when he turns out to be a helpless manbaby that women don't want anything to do with.

Reading the thing, she said �parents� and by the time I got to �doesn�t know how to shave� I was like �huh, the dad must have died or- oh.�

My boss is first-gen Taiwanese American, and her stories about how inept her younger brother, nearly in his forties, can be about things even now are ridiculous.

E: oh hey, a sorta happy update!

LadyPictureShow fucked around with this message at 13:20 on Aug 1, 2018

# ? Aug 1, 2018 13:18