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One is a likely crack addict whose complaint doesn’t describe anything I can verify. The other is a frequent flyer that can’t describe why his damages are higher than the amount he owes us. Maybe he’ll settle for wiping his balance, but talking to him I’m 50:50 on that. Both pro se of course. Obviously if the damages are less than two billable hours, just settle. But that sucks. The damages alleged here are $25k (jurisdictional limit) and $5k, respectively. Look Sir Droids fucked around with this message at 18:17 on Aug 1, 2018 |
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Aug 1, 2018 18:09
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Bitcoin, Forex, and Candles › Lawyer & Law School Megathread: y'all eat puffins too?
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Aug 1, 2018 18:10
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Sweet now I can pretend I've eaten puffin before to seem classy.
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Aug 1, 2018 19:15
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Puffins= porgs = adorable. You are all monsters. As to getting rid of small claims, invite them to sue. Take a day away from the grind, see the sun, and feast upon the tears of your opponent in true litigator style. I hear they pair well with whale.
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Aug 1, 2018 19:42
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Look Sir Droids posted:One is a likely crack addict whose complaint doesn’t describe anything I can verify. The other is a frequent flyer that can’t describe why his damages are higher than the amount he owes us. Maybe he’ll settle for wiping his balance, but talking to him I’m 50:50 on that. sounds like a good chance for you to stretch your in-court litigating muscles against some pro se plaintiffs counterpoint: if you lose to a pro se expect to get mocked about it for the rest of your career
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Aug 1, 2018 20:03
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I can’t go myself. One of these happens to be local, but the other is all the way out west. Company is in like 20 states. Me going couldn’t be a standard solution. Also I’m a coward.
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Aug 1, 2018 20:35
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Anyone ever practiced in front of this chatty Cathy judge doing Manafort in Virginia?
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Aug 1, 2018 20:53
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evilweasel posted:sounds like a good chance for you to stretch your in-court litigating muscles against some pro se plaintiffs I had a trial scheduled one month before the partnership votes on my class against a pro se the fear of losing to him was honestly stressing me out more than anything else in my life right now
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Aug 1, 2018 21:01
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I'm prosecuting a pro se who demanded a jury trial on a speeding ticket.
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Aug 1, 2018 21:04
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Considering myself blessed that none of the pro se parties i've fought have gotten past 12(b)(1) or 12(b)(6).
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Aug 1, 2018 22:15
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Pook Good Mook posted:I'm prosecuting a pro se who demanded a jury trial on a speeding ticket. lmao
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Aug 1, 2018 22:15
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It's a poo poo case where the state trooper did a terrible loving job, but I'm looking forward to it for future lols from the story at parties.
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Aug 1, 2018 22:20
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Pook Good Mook posted:It's a poo poo case where the state trooper did a terrible loving job, but I'm looking forward to it for future lols from the story at parties. Seems like a good use of public resources.
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Aug 1, 2018 22:31
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Vox Nihili posted:Seems like a good use of public resources. Blame Iowa for letting you get jury trials on tickets. Guy was going 90 in a 65. Cop just wrote a lovely report.
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Aug 1, 2018 22:35
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There is only one thing more fun for me than people asking for a jury trial on a class C misdemeanor case (and actually showing up and actually refusing the deal after looking at the video) and thats when a Sovereign Citizen comes in.
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Aug 1, 2018 23:05
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Wait...he'll actually get one? That's incredible.
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Aug 2, 2018 01:35
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I deal with pro ses all the goddamn time, the dunking is not worth the aggravation. Also a jury trial on a speeding ticket is hilarious, what the gently caress Iowa.
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Aug 2, 2018 02:21
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I feel like your best strategy would be to repeatedly emphasize to the jurors that the defendant asked for a jury trial and his dumb rear end is the reason they’re stuck hearing a speeding ticket case.
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Aug 2, 2018 02:29
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Kalman posted:I feel like your best strategy would be to repeatedly emphasize to the jurors that the defendant asked for a jury trial and his dumb rear end is the reason they’re stuck hearing a speeding ticket case. It'll basically be a pissing contest about who was least responsible for wasting everyone's time, and frankly I wouldn't discount the pro se guy's chances of convincing a panel of Iowa's finest that the big, mean government is to blame.
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Aug 2, 2018 02:36
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I still trip out that jurisdictions allow jury trial for DUIs. No jury until your fourth one in HI.
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Aug 2, 2018 02:46
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Tokelau All Star posted:I still trip out that jurisdictions allow jury trial for DUIs. No jury until your fourth one in HI. You should have a jury for your DUI. They have pretty serious consequences. You third gets you like 4-6 months. They're also fun as gently caress. Plus I don't want some judge bench trying an MJ DUI if he hates the devil's lettuce. You get a jury trial in California for a Bicycling while Intoxicated, which has no consequences other than a fine and a misdo conviction (no jail possible, no license suspension). Simple MJ possession was the same in CA for a bit until it was decriminalized. Those never, ever went to trial (both need a lab person to testify). Decriminalizing MJ probably increased the conviction rate when they reduced it to an infraction, which got rid of the jury trial.
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Aug 2, 2018 02:49
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Tokelau All Star posted:I still trip out that jurisdictions allow jury trial for DUIs. No jury until your fourth one in HI. Is that... Constitutional?
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Aug 2, 2018 03:07
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Vox Nihili posted:Is that... Constitutional? If the punishment is low enough.
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Aug 2, 2018 03:10
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Vox Nihili posted:Is that... Constitutional? I expect they carry less than 6 months jail.
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Aug 2, 2018 03:11
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nm posted:If the punishment is low enough. I feel like the penalty for your third DUI is pretty loving serious in most jurisdictions. Like, actual jail time potentially. I guess Hawaii must be super lenient on that front.
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Aug 2, 2018 03:11
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Turns out the maximum penalty for your third DUI in Hawaii is 30 days of jail and a $2,500 fine. OK then.
Vox Nihili fucked around with this message at 03:16 on Aug 2, 2018 |
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Aug 2, 2018 03:13
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Vox Nihili posted:Turns out the maximum penalty for your third DUi on Hawaii is 30 days of jail and a $2,500 fine. OK then. Who do they think they are, wisconsin? There is a supreme court case where they hate on Wisconsin for making 1st DUI an infraction. (Context is that in wisconsin, cops can't enter your house to get a blood draw because it is an infraction, unlike every other state)
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Aug 2, 2018 03:16
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Oklahoma: DUI #1: misdemeanor, 10 days - 1 year DUI #2: felony, 1 year - 5 years * DUI #3: 1 - 10 ** DUI #4: 1 - 20 ** * Unless you have a prior non-DUI felony, then it's 0 - 10. Two or more non DUI felonies, 3 - life. ** Unless you have a prior non-DUI felony, then 3 - life.
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Aug 2, 2018 03:30
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Mr. Nice! posted:Career office called me today because a class action firm needs someone and I fit the bill. Meeting with them thursday. Anyone do much class action litigation? Sup. Defense side, here, though. Don't know what you're looking at. Class action litigation has specific practice areas (consumer deception; personal injury; financial poo poo; etc.). Mostly in federal court because CAFA but sometimes you get stuck in a lovely state court system, so there's variety! The bigger the firm you're with, the higher dollar value cases you're defending against, meaning you typically aren't doing poo poo cases. For whatever that's worth. If it's a plaintiffs' firm you're interviewing with, it seems you want to stick with smaller (so you can eventually buy in) and already has hit some major wins/settlements or at least is already well known in whatever community they market to. At least that's what I get from the plaintiffs-side class action attorneys I know and shoot the poo poo with. Speaking from a defense perspective, class litigation is mildly cookie-cutter and comes down to developing experts and class motions practice (on top of the Rule 12 and MSJ motions practice). The FRCP 23 arguments are mostly well established, but individual case fact situations and some uncertainty resulting from recent SCOTUS decisions allows for some novel arguments. You'll never go to trial in a class case--it'll settle after the class certification motion is decided, one way or the other. Plaintiffs side is probably mostly the same, except trying to stave off bad SCOTUS decisions and more legwork in developing the facts that cram into FRCP 23.
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Aug 2, 2018 03:38
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SlothBear posted:Wait...he'll actually get one? Give the guy credit for figuring out how to demand it. It's only a 6 person jury. My voir dire is just to make sure the jurors aren't sov cits
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Aug 2, 2018 03:39
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You can get a jury trial in cook county for evictions. It's really common to go for since it drags the case out + plaintiffs are petrified of it. I honestly wish I'd done one because I wanted to have a giant argument about the jury instructions about squatters
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Aug 2, 2018 04:33
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In Texas you can get a jury trial on virtually anything. Cop pulled you over going 31 in a 30? Jury trial. Suing your roommate because he ate your cornflakes? Jury trial. The landlord say your rent is late? He may have to litigate (with a jury trial). Hilariously enough our mania for jury trials extends to the point THE GOVERNMENT has its own independent right to a jury trial as well. Want to plead guilty to the judge on your crappy misdemeanor? Only if you can get the State to waive jury trial! (which they may not if their baby prosecutors need experience). This sometimes leads to the hilarious situation where you have to plead not guilty and have a pointless jury trial just so you can go to the judge for sentencing. That makes for some interesting jury selection.
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Aug 2, 2018 05:18
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GamingHyena posted:Hilariously enough our mania for jury trials extends to the point THE GOVERNMENT has its own independent right to a jury trial as well. Want to plead guilty to the judge on your crappy misdemeanor? Only if you can get the State to waive jury trial! (which they may not if their baby prosecutors need experience). This sometimes leads to the hilarious situation where you have to plead not guilty and have a pointless jury trial just so you can go to the judge for sentencing. That makes for some interesting jury selection. That's grotesque.
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Aug 2, 2018 05:58
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Vox Nihili posted:That's grotesque. More insidiously, the State uses their right to a jury trial it to screw your guy out of deferred adjudication if they are opposed to it but think the judge will grant it at a bench trial. If you have a bench trial then the court can defer a finding of guilt. Juries can't defer guilt, so by the time it reaches the judge for sentencing by definition your client has been convicted.
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Aug 2, 2018 06:56
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^^^^^Now I'm really sad I didn't get called up on a jury while I was a Texan. Anyway, Virginia has a couple of layers of hearings for traffic tickets before you hit a jury. As a result of being pulled over for going 12 miles over the limit at 2:45AM one fine morning, I represented myself against those scurrilous charges. I think I would have have succeeded if I used the word "scurrilous" in those proceedings. I was counting on taking advantage of Paul Bergrin's venerable principle of "No witness, no case." Unfortunately, the cop showed up at court. And so it went:  Not Guilty I paced him, he did it. Pay the fine, see the clerk. Here's all the documents, oh, and you have the right to appeal to a judge who had to kiss up to the vice governor rather than the mayor. Really.The court cost seemed a small price to pay for an up close, personal view of our government in action. Especially compared to the powerball payoff rates. So I donned my finest suit and tie and repeated Mr. Bergrin's mantra. Alas, it was only partially successful. The cop showed up. And looked every inch of the 19 year old out of his depth hand me down dad suit wearing rookie that he was. The poor bastard looked like he was caught loving a dead donkey on the courthouse steps. So there I was, with my bachelor's of political science and all the confidence it imbues. I watched as the trial progressed. The prosecutor had the rookie stammer out his story. When he was done, I asked "Your Honor, should I ask my questions now?" "Yes, you can do that now." To this day, I don't know if the judge was being patronizing , indulgent, or just killing time. I thought about how guilty as hell I was. Then I thought about how I didn't want to talk about whether I drank any liquids that may or may not have included the compound EtOH. Then I asked some mealy questions about how long he was following me, could that be really sufficient, oh that's all, I don't have anything else to say, that's it. Pay the fine, see the clerk. Here's all the documents, oh, and you have the right to a jury trial now. I've had my fun, here's the cash, the $50 fine and $100 more to reimburse the people of Virginia for the use of the time of their judge, prosecutor, and police investigators to find me guilty.The moral of the story is that if you, as a practicing litigator, lose to a pro se opponent, you either are really bad at the law, or worse, your client was so goddamn guilty you wound up breaking the whole drat legal system. Good luck! 
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Aug 2, 2018 07:44
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GamingHyena posted:In Texas you can get a jury trial on virtually anything. Cop pulled you over going 31 in a 30? Jury trial. Suing your roommate because he ate your cornflakes? Jury trial. The landlord say your rent is late? He may have to litigate (with a jury trial). This is where just dropping a lmao is the appropriate response
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Aug 2, 2018 13:30
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Kalman posted:I feel like your best strategy would be to repeatedly emphasize to the jurors that the defendant asked for a jury trial and his dumb rear end is the reason they’re stuck hearing a speeding ticket case. It absolutely is. "Now, ladies and gentlemen, you understand that even though this is just a speeding ticket, the Defendant technically has the right to ask you all to miss work to come down here at 8:30 in the morning and be here today. Nobody is going to going to hold that against the Defendant today, right? (lol)" The other thing is just to object to literally everything the pro se tries to do, (i.e. trying to testify themselves during cross examination of the cop, trying to testify during closing statements, trying to offer pictures from their phone as evidence, etc) until they get so frustrated they just give up and sit there the rest of the trial.
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Aug 2, 2018 14:07
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GamingHyena posted:In Texas you can get a jury trial on virtually anything. Cop pulled you over going 31 in a 30? Jury trial. Suing your roommate because he ate your cornflakes? Jury trial. The landlord say your rent is late? He may have to litigate (with a jury trial). I assume a Texas jury isn’t too bad for the state unless it’s prosecuting someone for giving a toddler an AR-15 or w/e.
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Aug 2, 2018 15:21
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GamingHyena posted:Hilariously enough our mania for jury trials extends to the point THE GOVERNMENT has its own independent right to a jury trial as well. What the gently caress.
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Aug 2, 2018 15:23
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Vox Nihili posted:Turns out the maximum penalty for your third DUI in Hawaii is 30 days of jail and a $2,500 fine. OK then. hosed up if true. Also DUI is the most righteous prosecution there is and aside from the rare tax evasion case the only time your average rich person may see the inside of a criminal courtroom.
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Aug 2, 2018 15:33
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