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Lord Stimperor
Jun 13, 2018

I'm a lovable meme.

Potato Salad posted:

Over the most recent 500 years, the Fourth Stimpire has overwhelmed four systems, which it has joined into one starzone, Stimsis.

There is no free talk in the Fourth Stimpire, and all self-controlled transportation has been made illicit without experiencing anguishing medicinal certification systems, in which veins are segregated without torment safe, worked all things considered by machines. The manner by which they work claim to be the most hygenic and solid way that could be open, yet these machines a great part of the time rub against torment focuses, making mind blowing blueprints of anguish patients. The heart is then expelled from the body and put into a glass crushing machine. Unmistakable vitality focuses are additionally destroyed and supplanted with hazardous transplants. After the troublesome, 52 hour restorative method, patients will then need to utilize a consolidated bearing device, which draws anguishing resistors into the body at general between times. The devastation they have caused is so unpleasant, the misfortune would solidify in a focused on position. They would then overlay a while later.

Sexual artificiality in any capacity inside the grounds of the Fourth Stimpire is totally denied, and anybody recognized notwithstanding achieving their sexual organs will be subjected to a penectomy or if the culpable party was a female, they would then have a razor embedded into their ovaries. They would arrange a blue course of action into the womb until the point that the stitchings burst. Transgressors would in like way be compelled to display their worked areas out in the open, and they would dependably bug and punch them to a pound, without expecting to.

Something other than what's expected, accountable social occasions would be tazed with the most exceedingly shocking sort of force in the exact locale, causing so much anguish, the misfortune would holler and whip in excitement. The trouble would in like way triple each second, yet no end would be obtained. This is in addition utilized as a bit of battle against foe units, which is the reason all UEE powers must wear the refreshed suit to dissuade this impact.

Notwithstanding, enertainment is also damaged in UEE grounds. Wearing occasions end with the losing pack being adjusted into a processor and pulverized on live TV, sessions end with the failure having their hands expelled without anasthesia, flight races would end with the washouts having their arms and legs cleared, by then being embedded with frenzy, for distraction. Individuals are likewise constrained into these occasions, by experiencing a troublesome 127 hour strategy which consolidates tweaking the muscles so they won't look at cerebrum orders, and after that having an alarming pharmaceutical permeated which additionally causes diversion if the player isn't wearing. This is just for redirection, and anybody not observing any of it amidst wearing conditions and cheering for the triumphant social affair, they will be limited into galactic camps.

Snuff films are in like way passed on, and on-screen characters are really killed only for distraction. Stealth droids likewise manage these constrained performing masters into carrying on conclusively as the primary dreams, else they will be censured by being set into a macerator and having their execution made into the film. Any film that does not highlight somebody being butchered will be singed and the whole gathering behind it will be executed in the most difficult to miss way conceivable - vivisection.

All executions are bestowed, and any individual who misses even a millisecond, even by glinting, will be executed. All nationals must boo to the individual being executed, and the family is amassed to be blended with eternators, which cause torment never-endingly, making them foul yet feeling the torment ten times each millisecond. They can't go out, in any case they will feel like it for unlimited quality.

Triumphs by this Stimpire end in the planet being wrecked, and every single one of the subjects being executed nearly as their local people give off an impression of being. The planet is then crushed and all pieces of it are cleared, and any recollections of it will be demolished instantly from consistent characters. Individuals who are in addition butchered are likewise deleted from recollections, and all recollections of them, including toys and pictures, are crushed.

Detainees experience 40,000 broad stretches of consistent and unending work, and anybody not agreeing is condemned to the eternator blend. All detainees embedded with eternators are set into compartments and incited into far space, by then the room is shut tight to guarantee most ludicrous hysteria. Two or three detainees are in like way subjected to the evacuation of blood, the lungs, the liver, the privates, the skeleton, the muscles, the eyes, and even the implantation of weight. Detainees condemned to weight chambers are tied down until the moment that the minute that they are stretched out to an unusual state. The decompression is then ceased to ensure they are broadened and gawky.

Young people envisioned on the fourteenth of July are subjected to the clearing of their skeleton and an embed of a silver fluid to supplant it. The anxious sysem is in like way permeated in different parts to guarantee it is five times more delicate than the average.

Eateries in like way are requested to serve essential meat, and anybody going to must surrender themself to be cooked into a difficult to miss dinner. They are cooked alive, experiencing uncommon wretchedness, and are then subjected to current processors and blenders. The Stimpire plans no under 1 million local people to be dispatched each day, as they are nervous the majority may topple them. Regardless, just a lone planet is directed to, and the rest are constrained from eating, drinking, talking, utilizing headway, achieving anybody, wearing unapproved bits of apparel, achieving structures, or strolling a centimeter out of designated courses. Essential implementers are on each planet, and they are worked with the target that they are 40 times more noteworthy than the 300 quadrillion individuals. No under 7 billion kick the bucket typically under this run the show.

Musings are correspondingly plot, and any individual who does not figure anything to adoring the Stimpire with more than their abilities will be condemned to a jail. Detainees who are reprimanded for this infringement will meet their biggest dread, just to have it enhanced so they will turn crazy as they envision it conclusively as they fear it. They by then experience a troublesome extraction everything considered, to be supplanted by a dangerous substance which causes endless disturbance. The dull substance keeps the subject growing reliably, close to they will never pass on. Detainees repulsed along these lines can't be returned, paying little regard to different endeavors, and they will never be able to be engineered.

The sickening substances have been uncovered just today, and invigilation clusters are as of recently investigating the surenesses without setting foot in the galactic space of this sickening area.

New phone who dis



Edit: taxxe

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TheAgent
Feb 16, 2002

The call is coming from inside Dr. House
Grimey Drawer
hello uhhhhhhh okay

quote:

This bullshit has to stop. WHY THE gently caress ARE YOU DOWNPLAYING THE TRACKER?? I know that this bullshit $30m~ a year is complete poo poo. You're bringing in way, way more than that. WHY THE gently caress ARE YOU SHOWING 3X LESS ON THIS poo poo??

SPERMCUBE.ORG
Nov 3, 2011

Space commies are th' biggest threat t' red-blooded American Freedom we got in th' future. So me and my boys got to talking over a few hot dogs the other day and this is what we came up with...

Potato Salad posted:

There was a release date in all caps on the page.

Was there though? :smug:

One of my favorite parts of Star Citizen is how the longer it shambles on the more philosophical the defense of it gets. "What is winning?" "What's a release date anyway?" "Can you even own a spaceship, actually?" "Nothing on earth is ever really finished" "All we are is FUD in the wind."

SoftNum
Mar 31, 2011

TheAgent posted:

hello uhhhhhhh okay

source you are quotes

TheAgent
Feb 16, 2002

The call is coming from inside Dr. House
Grimey Drawer
hello

quote:

This place is a tomb.

his nibs
Feb 27, 2016

:kayak:Welcome to the:kayak:
Dream Factory
:kayak:
Grimey Drawer
a challenger approaches

https://twitter.com/AMAZlNGNATURE/status/1028406731037061120

TheAgent
Feb 16, 2002

The call is coming from inside Dr. House
Grimey Drawer

SoftNum posted:

source you are quotes
but her muh emails

there's suddenly been a loving flurry since friday

SoftNum
Mar 31, 2011

SPERMCUBE.ORG posted:

"What's a release date anyway?"

I think we're at the point where Crobbers could say "You will be playing Squadron 42 in Jan 2019" and citizens would claim he was talking to the internal dev team (after spending 5 months lording the date over goons as "real proof" of not a scam).

Spiderdrake
May 12, 2001



All given release dates are dates to crow and cluck over as evidence the new world is already here.

All patch numbers are meaningful, even if they literally removed every useful feature and left in something about watermelons.

All past release dates were metaphorical, development is hard and epic, these things happen.

orcane
Jun 13, 2012

Fun Shoe

TheAgent posted:

hello uhhhhhhh okay

haha yeah right

We all know Ms Best Criminal Since She Was A Little Girl would have shouted "we made 600 million and beat Rockstar & Co" to the world a long time ago.

Potato Salad
Oct 23, 2014
Probation
Can't post for 4 hours!

SPERMCUBE.ORG posted:

One of my favorite parts of Star Citizen is how the longer it shambles on the more philosophical the defense of it gets. "What is winning?" "What's a release date anyway?" "Can you even own a spaceship, actually?" "Nothing on earth is ever really finished" "All we are is FUD in the wind."

I've been mulling on the, er, less substantive? defense of the project and I think you've hit it on the head.

Alchenar
Apr 9, 2008


You can make a list of the game devs that are genuinely nice places to work and they're either ~20 man indy shops, Paradox Interactive or Firaxis.

Dementropy
Aug 23, 2010



Alchenar posted:

You can make a list of the game devs that are genuinely nice places to work and they're either ~20 man indy shops, Paradox Interactive or Firaxis.

Give it a month, and Portalium will at least meet the second requirement.

TheAgent
Feb 16, 2002

The call is coming from inside Dr. House
Grimey Drawer
port currently has less than 15 devs so and I'll never post anything by any single dev there because it's too loving easy to identify them

AbstractNapper
Jun 5, 2011

I can help

He spells *fact* wrong. It's *hosed*.

Beet Wagon
Oct 19, 2015





G0RF posted:

Like clockwork, criticisms of CIG’s abysmal Marketing & PR track record prompts Agent Starloop to grab her sword and take up the defense:

ON “ANSWER THE CALL 2016”:



Yes, yes — lecture people on their silly expectations — not everyone is so clear-eyed about the future as you are.

What a joke.









fascinating

Beet Wagon
Oct 19, 2015







quote:

If any of these dates are wrong and it releases sooner I will be happy but this is just my estimate of the situation right now

holy gently caress i am dying

Zzr
Oct 6, 2016

SoftNum posted:

source you are quotes

Preferably with real names, twitter and facebook accounts, formated in a blog post .

Dementropy
Aug 23, 2010




Pixelate
Jan 6, 2018

"You win by having fun"

TheAgent posted:

This place is a tomb.

That's just Ortwin, pay him no mind.

G0RF
Mar 19, 2015

Some galactic defender you are, Space Cadet.

This can’t true because Chris said he protects the feelings of his employees on RTV... He’s not releasing a Squadron roadmap because then the community will rage at Devs on Spectrum. Chris stands as a human shield before the slings and arrows, absorbing the blows that his obviously inadequate lessers deserve for falling so far short of their protector.

No, this just reads like the ravings of a never was who couldn’t cut it. Chris gave them everything, truly everything, and still they failed him. Yet Chris will protect them anyway, such is the selflessness of his lovingkindness.


But seriously... :negative:

The toxicity of the leadership culture is visible from space at this point. Roberts treats the community like garbage and of course those not on the VIP list at CIG/Foundry get far worse. The backers will never know, and even they did, they’re unlikely to care much. Most still interested in Star Citizen are conditioned to defend their own abuse by now and if worse is underway at CIG & Foundry then too bad. No great work of art was produced without suffering, so there’s no reason peons should be protected from that. It’s their fault the games aren’t done already anyway. Right?


Beet Wagon posted:









fascinating

:lol: And still SC_TheBursar plays defense for CIG... (and :lol: that AstroPub was as deluded.)

I have a new edit underway that’s back on Squadron. The 60 second cap on that last one forced a lot out. The new one gets a little deeper and has more fun with a happy little soundtrack.

It won’t have any impact of course, beyond (I hope) thread amusement. But there’s stuff even I’d forgotten that’s really funny to see now, even if “official” history has been thrice revised since then.

Morphix
May 21, 2003

by Reene

just a normal man living a normal life telling everyone how normal he is

Sarsapariller
Aug 14, 2015

Occasional vampire queen


TheAgent posted:

Gamesdev.txt

Just spitballing here but maybe if games devs weren't all looking out for #1, and actually talked about their industry problems publicly and then got jobs in other industries or maybe even unionized, then game dev wouldn't be such a complete ghetto of rear end in a top hat management and illegal employment practices?

Seems like this kind of thing flourishes in the dark and the "Oh I would never work in the industry again" excuse is pointless. If talking about the shittiest possible place to work gets you blacklisted from that whole industry, maybe the industry is a festering shitpile and you should be glad to be done with it. Making video games isn't a critical life path, y'all, you can do other stuff with your skills.

Scruffpuff
Dec 23, 2015

Fidelity. Wait, was I'm working on again?

SPERMCUBE.ORG posted:

One of my favorite parts of Star Citizen is how the longer it shambles on the more philosophical the defense of it gets. "What is winning?" "What's a release date anyway?" "Can you even own a spaceship, actually?" "Nothing on earth is ever really finished" "All we are is FUD in the wind."

I've noticed this. It's basically the final stage of something that's devolved into a religion. We can't really prove Star Citizen is something bad because the backers have faith that it's something good. If we provide solid evidence of something bad, the evidence is dismissed as a lie (edited config files, photoshops, etc., ironically no evidence of the counterclaim is needed.) Belief in secret dev builds, belief that Chris has a vision, belief that they will cross over into a better life based on their tithe, it's all here.

Scruffpuff fucked around with this message at 22:49 on Aug 12, 2018

TheSickeningTruth
Jul 22, 2018

Good, now find the reddit posts where silentruin talks about his anal vibrators collection.

Drunk Theory
Aug 20, 2016


Oven Wrangler

Sarsapariller posted:

Just spitballing here but maybe if games devs weren't all looking out for #1, and actually talked about their industry problems publicly and then got jobs in other industries or maybe even unionized, then game dev wouldn't be such a complete ghetto of rear end in a top hat management and illegal employment practices?

Seems like this kind of thing flourishes in the dark and the "Oh I would never work in the industry again" excuse is pointless. If talking about the shittiest possible place to work gets you blacklisted from that whole industry, maybe the industry is a festering shitpile and you should be glad to be done with it. Making video games isn't a critical life path, y'all, you can do other stuff with your skills.

On one hand, that's all true. On the other hand, I can see the point. You know the fans at this point are so rabid, such zealots, that a former employee coming out and putting out what evidence of what a shitshow things were would do nothing. They'd attack that person's private life. Hell I'm pretty sure if Chris came out and said that he used those millions on vacations, cocaine, and cars, and now he was closing the company, the zealots would still defend him, for their own egos if nothing else.
And more evidence of this being a shitshow, while it would be amazing and funny as hell for me and others here, just proves what most of us already believe.

So yah, get out of the games industry, it blows. But their is no benefit to speaking out, only opening yourself up to being harassed by worthless idiots.

Sarsapariller
Aug 14, 2015

Occasional vampire queen


Drunk Theory posted:

On one hand, that's all true. On the other hand, I can see the point. You know the fans at this point are so rabid, such zealots, that a former employee coming out and putting out what evidence of what a shitshow things were would do nothing. They'd attack that person's private life. Hell I'm pretty sure if Chris came out and said that he used those millions on vacations, cocaine, and cars, and now he was closing the company, the zealots would still defend him, for their own egos if nothing else.
And more evidence of this being a shitshow, while it would be amazing and funny as hell for me and others here, just proves what most of us already believe.

So yah, get out of the games industry, it blows. But their is no benefit to speaking out, only opening yourself up to being harassed by worthless idiots.

On the third hand, stuff like the EA Wives lawsuit actually does make a difference (though it's reversing now): https://www.theguardian.com/technology/2015/feb/18/crunched-games-industry-exploiting-workforce-ea-spouse-software

The situation is bad enough, and widespread enough, that a few people publicly owning it would make a lot of noise and generate real media attention and possibly even legislative action. Who gives a poo poo what fans think? I want to influence what congresscritters think.

Throw your bodies on the gears.

TheAgent
Feb 16, 2002

The call is coming from inside Dr. House
Grimey Drawer

Sarsapariller posted:

Throw your bodies on the gears.
*nervously waits for someone else to jump first*

TheAgent
Feb 16, 2002

The call is coming from inside Dr. House
Grimey Drawer
its been widespread enough since 1999, when I started working with games

I'm not saying "why do anything, you can't fight the system" but I totally understand why people won't sacrifice their careers, livelihood and reputation to say "working in the games industry sucks and here's why, also here's my name please hit me up with your death threats and SWAT calls because I worked for your favorite company"

its not just getting blackballed from the industry, it poses a real life risk to you and your family's safety

Chin
Dec 12, 2005

GET LOST 2013
-RALPH
I haven't seen evidence of the entire game development industry being an EA nightmare. There are many relatively healthy studios producing games with the odd crunch here or there, they just don't make headlines.

The industry's more of a shithole at the entry level because there are so many people willing to debase themselves to chase a childhood dream, clearly, and it's about as bad for people who are passionate but untalented. Kind of like Hollywood.

TheAgent
Feb 16, 2002

The call is coming from inside Dr. House
Grimey Drawer

Chin posted:

I haven't seen evidence of the entire game development industry being an EA nightmare. There are many relatively healthy studios producing games with the odd crunch here or there, they just don't make headlines.

The industry's more of a shithole at the entry level because there are so many people willing to debase themselves to chase a childhood dream, clearly, and it's about as bad for people who are passionate but untalented. Kind of like Hollywood.
systemic doesn't mean every loving studio is awful

just an embedded problem inherent in the industry

Morphix
May 21, 2003

by Reene

TheAgent posted:

it poses a real life risk to you and your family's safety

it's so bizzare how loving terrible gaming fandom really is. like these giant companies get these loons to pay for tickets to goto conventions to be marketed to directly, which they do earnestly because gaming companies love encouraging communities built around buying poo poo.

I remember having this thought for the first time when someone snuck me into E3 when I was 17, the GOD outdoor booth was cool and blew my mind. But the indoor stuff was just depressing. I thought it couldn't get any worse.

Almost two decades later and videogame fandom is somehow worse. The idea that there is a Bethesda con or BlizzCon or whatever the gently caress just confuses the gently caress out of me.

I guess what I'm saying is gently caress the marketing departments that have created this poo poo ecosystem.

Spiderdrake
May 12, 2001



The industry kinda doesn't matter when you're talking about advertising your position, good or bad, on working at the Cultist Wallet Extraction Factory.

Whistle blowing sounds a lot less appealing when the cultists will descend on your life like rabid wolverines, and then come back later when it's your fault the dream died. Never Chris' fault. YOU failed Chris, says a man whose box of a thousand fans can not cool his boiling blood.

TheAgent
Feb 16, 2002

The call is coming from inside Dr. House
Grimey Drawer

Morphix posted:

I remember having this thought for the first time when someone snuck me into E3 when I was 17, the GOD outdoor booth was cool and blew my mind. But the indoor stuff was just depressing. I thought it couldn't get any worse.
I remember when E3 was about big rear end titties and free drinks

it wasn't that loving long ago, either

Morphix
May 21, 2003

by Reene

TheAgent posted:

I remember when E3 was about big rear end titties and free drinks

it wasn't that loving long ago, either

I was underage and an insecure teenager so I wasn't really able to appreciate the big rear end tities or free drinks because I didn't want to get my buddy from ~company~ whose pass I was using.

But I was really hoping back in like 2005~ when E3 was on the verge of being phased out it would and this whole con poo poo would go away. Alas I accidentally ended up helping start the largest con because videogame friends. I am the thing I hate.

e- let me just say though for the record, i totes feel lucky to have witness the insanity of the g.o.d. outdoor area. im pretty sure that was the best e3 year. i even fell in love with a sony boothgirl, ~memories~

Morphix fucked around with this message at 00:05 on Aug 13, 2018

fatal oopsie-daisy
Jul 30, 2007

by R. Guyovich
You can tell that SC will have 100 million players in 5-7 years because of their staggering 174 twitch viewer count on a Saturday night

When you’re hot, you’re hot, folks.

Spiderdrake
May 12, 2001



fatal oopsie-daisy posted:

You can tell that SC will have 100 million players in 5-7 years because of their staggering 174 twitch viewer count on a Saturday night

When you’re hot, you’re hot, folks.
That'll be fixed when 9:1 npc ratios are in, as npcs will stream and watch twitch while flying newsvanships, drinking on barships and on great arenaships that are owned by whales.

juggalo baby coffin
Dec 2, 2007

How would the dog wear goggles and even more than that, who makes the goggles?


i'm amazed that star citizens still think that even if the game turns out to be everything they dreamed, that somehow its gonna give them the power to force goons to be their wage slave peons. why would anyone play a game where you're stuck being some dickhead other player's peon?

even in EVE corps tend to work in a fairly socialist manner within themselves, or each player just makes their own money with their own ship. i can't think of any game where players are paid a low amount of money to operate a turret or whatever, i'd imagine because that isn't fun at all.

people work for min wage irl, but irl has its own set of stresses and pressures that stick people in those jobs. in a game you don't really have to worry about your health or your family or eating or any of that poo poo so why would anyone ever do it.

the more likely scenario is a pay pig being murdered by his crew and then his ship stolen.

Liquid Dinosaur
Dec 16, 2011

by Smythe

juggalo baby coffin posted:

i'm amazed that star citizens still think that even if the game turns out to be everything they dreamed, that somehow its gonna give them the power to force goons to be their wage slave peons. why would anyone play a game where you're stuck being some dickhead other player's peon?

even in EVE corps tend to work in a fairly socialist manner within themselves, or each player just makes their own money with their own ship. i can't think of any game where players are paid a low amount of money to operate a turret or whatever, i'd imagine because that isn't fun at all.

people work for min wage irl, but irl has its own set of stresses and pressures that stick people in those jobs. in a game you don't really have to worry about your health or your family or eating or any of that poo poo so why would anyone ever do it.

the more likely scenario is a pay pig being murdered by his crew and then his ship stolen.

That’s because they haven’t implemented health and family and hunger mechanics.

(I assume that at the very least, hunger I in the nebulous plans. And they keep saying how when you die your Adult Son will take your place. )

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Lord Stimperor
Jun 13, 2018

I'm a lovable meme.

Morphix posted:

... I accidentally ended up helping start the largest con because videogame friends. I am the thing I hate.

... the insanity of the g.o.d. outdoor area ... i even fell in love with a sony boothgirl, ~memories~

You are not Chris Roberts. You can't just say this and then sod off never talking about it again. Tell us everything.

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