/r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

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mojo1701a: Oct 9, 2008; Oh, yeah. Loud and clear. Emphasis on LOUD!
~ David Lee Roth

https://twitter.com/redditships/status/1030548821732941830

# ? Aug 17, 2018 21:26

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 14, 2024 19:51

snergle: Aug 3, 2013; A kind little mouse!

Absurd Alhazred posted:

My mother (50+) refuses to let my emotionally toxic ex-wife go, I'm M/35

from your toxic family, OP. Or, well, in this case, declare Kareth on them.

I just googled Kareth. You can be karethed for some many random rear end reasons. Gay dude? kareth. didnt get circumiszed as a baby kareth. Had sex with a woman then 30 yrs later hosed her daughter unknowningly. you bet your rear end thats a kareth.

my favorite one is using moses's personal holy anointing oil. Moses karthed some annoying dude for always borrowing his stuff.

snergle fucked around with this message at 21:34 on Aug 17, 2018

# ? Aug 17, 2018 21:32

Xenocides: Jan 14, 2008; This world looks very scary....

mojo1701a posted:

https://twitter.com/redditships/status/1030548821732941830

Kinks just get weirder and weirder. And more contagious. With my next gf we are going to take an IQ test every Sunday and whoever gets the higher score is the dom for the week. So hawt!

# ? Aug 17, 2018 21:33

Beachcomber: May 21, 2007; Another day in paradise.; Slippery Tilde

mojo1701a posted:

https://twitter.com/redditships/status/1030548821732941830

Could you please maybe just post the images instead of making us open twitter?

Anyway, as long as they're still letting him tie them up, this will quickly pass.

# ? Aug 17, 2018 21:33

Gumbel2Gumbel: Apr 28, 2010

Beachcomber posted:

Could you please maybe just post the images instead of making us open twitter?

Anyway, as long as they're still letting him tie them up, this will quickly pass.

It auto posts if you know how to use the internet.

# ? Aug 17, 2018 21:34

Subjunctive: Sep 12, 2006; ✨sparkle and shine✨

Beachcomber posted:

Could you please maybe just post the images instead of making us open twitter?

What are you using to view the forums that isn�t inlining them?

# ? Aug 17, 2018 21:35

Pvt.Scott: Feb 16, 2007; What God wants, God gets, God help us all

mojo1701a posted:

https://twitter.com/redditships/status/1030548821732941830

Getting upset that your fake IQ is lower than somebody else�s is funny. Not being able to improvise off of the unexpected results is even funnier.

# ? Aug 17, 2018 21:36

A Wizard of Goatse: Dec 14, 2014

Subjunctive posted:

What are you using to view the forums that isn�t inlining them?

Tweets stopped showing up properly inline for me days ago, on any browser. Assumed it was the same for everybody

# ? Aug 17, 2018 21:42

Rubellavator: Aug 16, 2007

Subjunctive posted:

What are you using to view the forums that isn’t inlining them?

Doesn't work on mobile awful app.

# ? Aug 17, 2018 21:47

mojo1701a: Oct 9, 2008; Oh, yeah. Loud and clear. Emphasis on LOUD!
~ David Lee Roth

Works fine for me. Either way, I've hosted it on imgur:

For anyone who didn't notice: he's been grooming a 19-year-old for 3 years.

# ? Aug 17, 2018 21:50

Beachcomber: May 21, 2007; Another day in paradise.; Slippery Tilde

Subjunctive posted:

What are you using to view the forums that isn’t inlining them?

The Awful app.

# ? Aug 17, 2018 21:54

Subjunctive: Sep 12, 2006; ✨sparkle and shine✨

Rubellavator posted:

Doesn't work on mobile awful app.

Beachcomber posted:

The Awful app.

They inlined for me in Awful.app. Check your settings?

# ? Aug 17, 2018 21:57

Rubellavator: Aug 16, 2007

Huh, wonder how long that setting has been there. Settings > posts > embedded > twitter

# ? Aug 17, 2018 22:04

ClamdestineBoyster: Aug 15, 2015; Can't post for 10 years!

mojo1701a posted:

Works fine for me. Either way, I've hosted it on imgur:

For anyone who didn't notice: he's been grooming a 19-year-old for 3 years.

Start doin pushups and drink protein shakes and stuff. :hai:

# ? Aug 17, 2018 22:08

Leon Einstein: Feb 6, 2012; I must win every thread in GBS. I don't care how much banal semantic quibbling and shitty posts it takes.

mojo1701a posted:

For anyone who didn't notice: he's been grooming a 19-year-old for 3 years.

Jesus, where are this girl's parents?

# ? Aug 17, 2018 22:14

Fuck Your Website: Nov 29, 2003; FUCK YOU, AND FUCK YOUR WEBSITE

mojo1701a posted:

Works fine for me. Either way, I've hosted it on imgur:

For anyone who didn't notice: he's been grooming a 19-year-old for 3 years.

Dom dumb, so what

# ? Aug 17, 2018 22:18

Xenocides: Jan 14, 2008; This world looks very scary....

Leon Einstein posted:

Jesus, where are this girl's parents?

Probably arguing over which of the metas in their poly relationship are allowed to impregnate her mother.

# ? Aug 17, 2018 22:22

Araenna: Dec 27, 2012; Lipstick Apathy

The buried lead is that he's been living with his one girlfriend since he was 23 and she was 16.

Also, it inlines for me on desktop, but I still have to click through to view the full picture.

Edit: I missed that it was in the post.

# ? Aug 17, 2018 22:38

Beachcomber: May 21, 2007; Another day in paradise.; Slippery Tilde

Subjunctive posted:

They inlined for me in Awful.app. Check your settings?

The twitter post shows up, but I have to click to read it all, and then it goes to my browser, etc.

Its a minor annoyance, I know.

# ? Aug 17, 2018 22:40

Hellblazer187: Oct 12, 2003

Lol that one is amazing. What a huge dork.

# ? Aug 17, 2018 23:00

tactlessbastard: Feb 4, 2001; Godspeed, post; Fun Shoe

I'm still chuckling since reading that jackass 'I studied psychology and know I....'

# ? Aug 17, 2018 23:05

Hellblazer187: Oct 12, 2003

I am very smart because I say "whilst perusing" in the post where I casually admit I slept with a 16 year old when I was an adult.

# ? Aug 17, 2018 23:10

Scathach: Apr 4, 2011; You know that thing where you sleep on your arm funny and when you wake up it's all numb? Yeah that's my whole world right now.

Blade Runner posted:

There is a difference between liking taxidermy and keeping a corpse on your bed as a stuffed toy

It's a stuffed fur, not a corpse. Plenty of people still sleep with real fur blankets. I don't see much of a difference. I mean it's a bit weird bit hey, might as well have a real stuffed animal if you're brave enough.

The parents are dicks though.

# ? Aug 17, 2018 23:14

John Lee: Mar 2, 2013; A time traveling adventure everyone can enjoy

So, what's this 'stealing gifts' thing the last page had an apparently understandable discussion about? From the post, I would have thought it was a tradition where everybody has to steal their gifts they're giving, but apparently it's a thing where you're allowed to take other people's gifts? Like, when they're not looking, or what?

# ? Aug 17, 2018 23:21

china bot: Sep 7, 2014; you listen HERE pal
SAY GOODBYE TO TELEPHONE SEX; Plaster Town Cop

John Lee posted:

So, what's this 'stealing gifts' thing the last page had an apparently understandable discussion about? From the post, I would have thought it was a tradition where everybody has to steal their gifts they're giving, but apparently it's a thing where you're allowed to take other people's gifts? Like, when they're not looking, or what?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B6jCMaiTqG0&t=148s

# ? Aug 17, 2018 23:22

JaneError: Feb 4, 2016; how would i even breathe on the moon?

r/legaladvice

My future mother in law ruined by wedding dress by attempting to try it on. It's beyond repair. Can I take her to court?

quote:

I'm located in Virginia. I purchased a wedding gown that cost me over $11k, then paid substantially more in alterations. Over the weekend, my future mother in law decided to attempt to put on my dress and failed horribly. Long story short, it's beyond repair and completely ruined. I also have reason to believe that she caused deliberate damage to the dress because of certain areas that were torn.
My fiance doesn't believe that we're able to take her to court and recoop the money because "it's just a dress" and he thinks the cost of the dress doesn't meet some financial threshold to sue her. I want to know if that's true and if it would be feasible to file a police report on her because of the more deliberate damage. I know it's just "a dress" but this goes beyond the dress.

Everyone is poo poo because lol who spends $11K on a dress

JaneError fucked around with this message at 23:39 on Aug 17, 2018

# ? Aug 17, 2018 23:36

Scathach: Apr 4, 2011; You know that thing where you sleep on your arm funny and when you wake up it's all numb? Yeah that's my whole world right now.

Hahaha a stupid woman marrying a stupid man being undermined by a stupid mother. Beautiful.

# ? Aug 17, 2018 23:39

dudeness: Mar 5, 2010; Cat Army; Fallen Rib

Maybe it was deliberate because of certain areas that were torn, maybe your Mother in Law has literal glass cutters.

# ? Aug 17, 2018 23:42

Beachcomber: May 21, 2007; Another day in paradise.; Slippery Tilde

John Lee posted:

So, what's this 'stealing gifts' thing the last page had an apparently understandable discussion about? From the post, I would have thought it was a tradition where everybody has to steal their gifts they're giving, but apparently it's a thing where you're allowed to take other people's gifts? Like, when they're not looking, or what?

Its a ritual some families do to get catharsis for past grievances while creating new ones.

# ? Aug 17, 2018 23:42

Admiral Ray: May 17, 2014; Proud Musk and Dogecoin fanboy

John Lee posted:

So, what's this 'stealing gifts' thing the last page had an apparently understandable discussion about? From the post, I would have thought it was a tradition where everybody has to steal their gifts they're giving, but apparently it's a thing where you're allowed to take other people's gifts? Like, when they're not looking, or what?

It's a form of social control and intimidation, as are all gifts and gift related acts.

https://www.whiteelephantrules.com/

quote:

A White Elephant Gift Exchange is a popular Christmas event where people vie to walk away with the best present. It also goes by Yankee Swap, Dirty Santa, and a plethora of other names. The White Elephant game is played by a lot of different rulesets � some dead simple and others confusingly elaborate. Here are the basic rules:

1. Each player brings one wrapped gift to contribute to a common pool

The gift exchange organizer should provide information on what type of gift people should bring.

2. Players draw names to determine what order they will go in

Alternatively, everyone can draw from a hat, or have their order set by the organizer prior to the event.

3. Players sit in a circle or line where they can see the gift pile

To make things easier, everyone should sit in the order in which they will take their turns.

4. The first player selects a gift from the pool and opens it

Make sure everyone can see the gift!

Santa Claus standing next to a stack of gifts, pointing5. The following players can choose to either pick an unwrapped gift from the pool or steal a previous player�s gift. Anyone who gets their gift stolen in this way can do the same � choose a new gift or steal from someone else.

To keep things moving along, there are a couple of limits on gift swapping:

A present can only be stolen once per turn, which means players who have a gift stolen from them have to wait to get it back.
After three swaps, the turn automatically comes to an end (otherwise things could drag on for a long time).

6. After all players have had a turn, the first player gets a chance to swap the gift he or she is holding for any other opened gift. Anyone who�s gift is stolen may steal from someone else (as long as that person hasn�t been stolen from yet). When someone declines to steal a gift, the game comes to an end.

Note that for this last �extra� turn, the three-swap rule doesn�t apply. Players can keep swapping until someone decides to stand pat, or there are no other eligible people to steal from.

Popular Variations
While the above rules are as close to the �vanilla� version of the game as you can get, there�s really no right or wrong way to play. Over the years, many new ideas have been incorporated into the gift swap game, with the aim of keeping the game moving and/or making it more strategic. Here are some rules tweaks many people use:

Three Swaps and You�re Out. If you get stolen from three times during the game, you are out of the game and can no longer be stolen from.

Three Swaps and the Gift is Out. If a present gets stolen three times, it�s out of the game and the person who holds it gets to walk away with it.

No Extra Turn/No Extra Swapping. Some people don�t allow the first player to swap at the end. Or, if they do, the first person simply gets to swap once with no additional swapping allowed.

Poem/Story. Instead of following the same set of rules each turn, players follow instructions given to them through a Christmas-themed poem or story. One type of White Elephant story tells players to pass their gift left or right until the end, when they get to keep whatever item they�re holding.

Gift Themes. The organizer may require people to bring a gift that fits a certain theme. The most common one is a re-gift (i.e., an unwanted item that people have lying around the house). However, the theme could be anything � ornaments, coffee table books, candy, do-it-yourself crafts, etc.

# ? Aug 17, 2018 23:46

Bogus Adventure: Jan 11, 2017; More like "Bulges Adventure"

mojo1701a posted:

https://twitter.com/redditships/status/1030548821732941830

[

# ? Aug 17, 2018 23:52

Adar: Jul 27, 2001

we played this every year at my office filled with ex pro poker players and it always turned into an hour long pseudo-strategy game where everyone who opened up anything good too early always knew they'd lose it, so there were no hurt feels

I can't imagine doing this in a normal workplace / it's designed to end in tears

# ? Aug 17, 2018 23:53

HoAssHo: Mar 10, 2005

JaneError posted:

r/legaladvice

My future mother in law ruined by wedding dress by attempting to try it on. It's beyond repair. Can I take her to court?

Everyone is poo poo because lol who spends $11K on a dress

Looking at the deleted comments, it looks like the OP might not be quite as poo poo:

OP posted:

My dress is (was) a thing of big significance for me too. My mom died before I met my fiance but she made it clear to me that she had earmarked money specifically to pay for my dress and that she wanted it to be the dress of my dreams. I used that money to pay for my dress. That evil bitch took that away from me and I want her to pay.

https://snew.github.io/r/legaladvice/comments/97th80/my_future_mother_in_law_ruined_by_wedding_dress/

# ? Aug 18, 2018 00:26

Smirking_Serpent: Aug 27, 2009

My (30f) boyfriend (30m) doesn't understand why I'm uncomfortable with him going to the coast alone with a girl he met at a kink party.

I have played in the kink community for years, and this is something he has little experience. I have dropped out of participating in that scene outside of the bedroom however and this is my first monogamous relationship. He told me he was going to the coast with his friend "Sarah" and I was like "ok" Kind of weird in my opinion to go to the coast alone with a friend, but not THAT weird i guess. Him and I are in a new, weeks old relationship although we've slept together on and off for 4 years. Later I asked him where he knew his friend from because it kept bothering me that when i paused for him to tell me more context earlier, there was just kind of an awkward silence. He told me from a bdsm party before him and I started dating, they didn't play and that they just "talk about self help stuff and bonded over bad break ups". He says he is confused about why I'd be uncomfortable about this, and to me THAT is the most alarming part. Really? You truly don't understand why this would make me uncomfortable? Please tell me im not crazy!

TL:DR BF doesn't understand why I'd be uncomfortable with him going alone to the coast with a girl he met at a BDSM party and I think that's insane.

EDIT: For clarity of arguments' sake, he thinks that the context they met in doesnt matter and wonders if he's even allowed to have friends that are women since I'm reacting this way. I think these two points are a huge leap and the falsest logic.

# ? Aug 18, 2018 00:33

Haifisch: Nov 13, 2010; Objection! I object! That was... objectionable!; Taco Defender

HoAssHo posted:

Looking at the deleted comments, it looks like the OP might not be quite as poo poo:

https://snew.github.io/r/legaladvice/comments/97th80/my_future_mother_in_law_ruined_by_wedding_dress/

And going deeper into her comment history:
I caught my future MIL trying to squeeze into my wedding dress...spoiler, it didn't go well.

quote:

First time poster but a long time lurker...hi everyone!

I've been engaged to my fiance for a year. We're planning to be married in December in Colombia and of course, I'm beyond pumped. It's going to be a destination wedding for us, and I was very happy that I was able to talk him into having one.

My soon to be MIL is extremely upset about this. I always knew that she wasn't really my biggest fan. She's polite and very "fake" friendly...but she'll do things like sit on my fiance's lap, or tuck his hair behind his ear, and cut his food for him. On on occasion I actually saw her actually feed him....in public. However, to my fiance's credit, once I told him that I thought that was beyond weird, it never happened again.

Future MIL is very upset about our destination wedding. She thinks we'll all be murdered (eyeroll), bitches constantly about the cost of her airfare, the size of the wedding, the guests that won't be able to come, the thought of my fiancee getting malaria, the fact that she hates no one in Colombia speaks English...you get the picture. I try to limit her exposure to my wedding planning, though when I do this, she complains to my fiance behind my back on how she's being excluded.

She came over yesterday, theoretically to see our new house, but instead offered the following criticisms:

* She hates my engagement ring. It's far too extravagant and there are CHILDREN STARVING IN AFRICA AND PEOPLE DIE FOR THESE ROCKS (it's a moissanite).

* Our house is an extravagant display of wealth and just "isn't us". It's a townhouse that we got a steal on.

* I'm getting fat. Need to watch the calories so I can "fit into my dress". Future, meanwhile, is bragging about her diet and how chic and slenderizing her mother of the bride dress is.

This delightful conversation was interrupted by my fiancee asking me to help him put a bed in the spare guest room together, so I left Future MIL to her own devices and Netflix while I helped. About 40 minutes into assembly, I went to go take a bathroom break and headed into the master bedroom...and what do I find but Future MIL struggling to yank my dress over her head BUT WAS FREAKING STUCK. I blurted out "what the hell?!" and she immediately started stammering "Oh my God! OH MY GOD! OH GOD!"

At that point my number one concern was her tearing the sheer backing of my dress so I rushed over to help her. It was all for not as she managed to scratch her way through the back of the dress and completely destroy the sheer material. She burst the side zipper of the dress and got a dirty foot print on the train. I asked her, as soon as I got her out of the dress (and I want to note, with HUGE amounts of disgust, that she was wearing no underwear), what the HELL she was thinking. She responded that she was just trying to make sure the dress would fit me; because if the dress fit her, then it absolutely fit me too. If it didn't fit her, then I obviously had some work to do. Nevermind that I just had my final fitting and it had fit like a glove.

My future fiance is very disturbed by what happened. I'm also disturbed-- mostly because I doubt she was trying to just try on the dress for funsies; there was also a bouquet of dried flowers on the bed that wasn't there before. I think the bitch was actually trying to pretend she was the bride...which for so many reasons, is so wrong.

She hasn't offered to pay for any of the repairs to the dress. A section of the train is ripped. I have no idea how much it's going to cost until I can get to the seamstress tomorrow. In the meantime, in lieu of an apology, she's lecturing me on spending so much money on a wedding dress and clearly the trouble she had getting into the dress was a sign to get something less dramatic and ostentatious.

It's taking everything in me to tell her to not pound sand. I'll wear my loving Galia Lahav dress to my goddamn grave and she'd better not say anything about it.

# ? Aug 18, 2018 00:41

Bogus Adventure: Jan 11, 2017; More like "Bulges Adventure"

Haifisch posted:

And going deeper into her comment history:
I caught my future MIL trying to squeeze into my wedding dress...spoiler, it didn't go well.

# ? Aug 18, 2018 00:44

Barudak: May 7, 2007

Nothing weird about my mom sitting in my lap, says man whose mother sits in his lap

# ? Aug 18, 2018 00:47

dudeness: Mar 5, 2010; Cat Army; Fallen Rib

And now he has a wife to tuck his hair behind his ear and cut up his food for him.

# ? Aug 18, 2018 00:49

tactlessbastard: Feb 4, 2001; Godspeed, post; Fun Shoe

She should sue her. There's a risk she loses her fiance over it but if she does that's just a bonus.

# ? Aug 18, 2018 00:51

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 14, 2024 19:51

PetraCore: Jul 20, 2017; 👁️🔥👁️👁️👁️BE NOT👄AFRAID👁️👁️👁️🔥👁️

That's what the term 'covert incest' was invented for.

# ? Aug 18, 2018 00:52

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