|
Fleta Mcgurn posted:E: *starts jumping and screaming during story time* This is really sweet. Little-kid coping techniques tend to be disproportionately charming.
|
#
?
May 10, 2018 15:56
|
|
|
|
| # ? May 22, 2024 11:02 |
|
|
Gaukler posted:I'm not sure what kind of knights you play with? I'm not falling for this twice! That's not a knight, it's a rook! 
|
|
#
?
May 10, 2018 17:21
|
|
|
The_White_Crane posted:I'm not falling for this twice! That's not a knight, it's a rook! Nah it’s a Prawn.
|
|
#
?
May 11, 2018 04:41
|
|
|
The Lord Bude posted:Nah it’s a Prawn. Actually, it's a small pastry.
|
|
#
?
May 11, 2018 08:05
|
|
|
Its a pastry knight.
|
|
#
?
May 11, 2018 08:09
|
|
|
The Lord Bude posted:Nah it’s a Prawn. *groan* I missed the best joke!
|
|
#
?
May 11, 2018 16:09
|
|
|
The_White_Crane posted:*groan* I'm glad somebody got it.
|
|
#
?
May 11, 2018 16:30
|
|
|
Some terrible parent showed their kid Jack Packard's I make poo poos and pee pees song, the singing of it has spread to every child here and they will not stop. This is a warcrime.
|
|
#
?
May 11, 2018 19:30
|
|
|
Misterbibsyouareincrediblyincorrect.jpg
|
|
#
?
May 11, 2018 19:53
|
|
|
MisterBibs posted:Some terrible parent showed their kid Jack Packard's I make poo poos and pee pees song, the singing of it has spread to every child here and they will not stop. I have no objection to this song; or its singing. Your kids have culture.
|
|
#
?
May 12, 2018 13:32
|
|
|
The Lord Bude posted:I have no objection to this song; or its singing. Your kids have culture. You'd think so. I'll fully admit it was cute the first couple times. The first couple iterations. Before it spread as quickly as Eloba, an SCP, or that bug in World of Warcraft that the CDC actually studied. Then it got taxing. MisterBibs has a new favorite as of 05:07 on May 13, 2018 |
|
#
?
May 13, 2018 04:54
|
|
|
Gaukler posted:I'm not sure what kind of knights you play with? lol holy poo poo
|
|
#
?
May 14, 2018 21:06
|
|
|
Waiting to see “Incredibles 2” and the family behind me: Older son: I think this movie is going to be incredible!! Dad: I think it’s going to be Incredible Too!  Older son: ... Younger son: I get Dad’s jokes, but they’re not funny.
|
|
#
?
Jun 17, 2018 17:57
|
|
|
one of my EFL kiddos kept trying to say "skyscraper", but came up with "skycrapper" and it was very, VERY hard not to laugh.
|
|
#
?
Jun 17, 2018 18:41
|
|
|
Fleta Mcgurn posted:one of my EFL kiddos kept trying to say "skyscraper", but came up with "skycrapper" and it was very, VERY hard not to laugh.
|
|
#
?
Jun 17, 2018 19:17
|
|
|
I got a random call this moring, it was Nova my 3 Year old. She way trying to say "Happy Father's Day" but all I could understand " Fart Turds Dad"
|
|
#
?
Jun 17, 2018 20:02
|
|
|
CaptainCrunch posted:Waiting to see “Incredibles 2” and the family behind me: That kid is wrong
|
|
#
?
Jun 17, 2018 23:57
|
|
|
I wish text could convey the utter disdain in the kid’s voice.
|
|
#
?
Jun 18, 2018 03:07
|
|
|
Nova went all Lebowski on her lifelike baby the other day. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dk7ETyxqLMA
|
|
#
?
Jun 19, 2018 00:14
|
|
|
I'm supervising my summer monsters at the pool and a kid from another class is walking around singing, "I'm a ROOOOCKET, I'm a ROOOOCKET, la la laaaa" in a thick Spanish accent, and it's everything.
Fleta Mcgurn has a new favorite as of 13:58 on Jul 4, 2018 |
|
#
?
Jul 4, 2018 11:46
|
|
|
BAD NEWS: One of my students hulked out and smashed his chair into me hard enough to knock me down (he's only ten, but he's taller and heavier than I am.) GOOD NEWS: another student put on sunglasses and is following me around school, announcing to everyone in a thick Russian accent, "Hello! I am security!"
|
|
#
?
Jul 10, 2018 11:23
|
|
|
My wife had a fun interaction with our six-year-old daughter. "I want money to buy robots and stuff." "You can earn money doing extra chores. Here's some window cleaner, want to clean the windows?" "Oh! Ok, sure!" Five minutes later my wife walks back into the room and sees our 4-year-old son furiously scrubbing the windows, our daughter standing over him, arms crossed. "Make sure you get ALL the smudges or else Mommy won't pay me."
|
|
#
?
Jul 20, 2018 22:59
|
|
|
U-DO Burger posted:My wife had a fun interaction with our six-year-old daughter. 
|
|
#
?
Jul 21, 2018 03:02
|
|
|
My nephews were playing tetherball, the oldest came up to me: "my new motto is: at least I tried"
|
|
#
?
Jul 21, 2018 03:24
|
|
|
Fleta Mcgurn posted:BAD NEWS: One of my students hulked out and smashed his chair into me hard enough to knock me down (he's only ten, but he's taller and heavier than I am.) Whoa, how goddamed short are you, there? Or how big is that loving ten year old? Either you're a legal midget or he's loving massive. Not that there's anything wrong with either, it just caught me off guard.
|
|
#
?
Jul 21, 2018 03:37
|
|
|
btw did i mention im a fan of your ruski bodyguardski there, that kid is cool
|
|
#
?
Jul 21, 2018 03:51
|
|
|
Fleta Mcgurn posted:GOOD NEWS: another student put on sunglasses and is following me around school, announcing to everyone in a thick Russian accent, "Hello! I am security!" Don't you teach in China? This is infinitely funnier if it's a Chinese ten-year-old pretending to be a Russian bodyguard.
|
|
#
?
Jul 21, 2018 06:46
|
|
|
IIRC Barcelona, now, but what does a Spanish child’s Russian accent sound like?
|
|
#
?
Jul 21, 2018 08:39
|
|
|
¡dos свидания!
|
|
#
?
Jul 21, 2018 08:41
|
|
|
DicktheCat posted:Whoa, how goddamed short are you, there? Or how big is that loving ten year old? Either you're a legal midget or he's loving massive. I'm 5'3/~161 cm, so not that short, but this kid is has more than a few inches on me and is pretty fat. His younger brother, too. They were expelled on Wednesday for fighting. I am really sad because I worked so hard with this kid and he made a lot of improvements, but in the end there is just no way for us to accommodate his social/behavioural issues. We are an extracurricular EFL program and we don't have counseling services available, especially not during the summer when the full-time staff is on vacation. They are actually Chinese, but have been in Barcelona for four years. You'd never know it to see them in class. We know there is abuse at home, which is why my boss let him and his brother participate in the weekend and summer programs for the past four years without kicking them out despite constant problems, but they just keep acting like Chinese kids at a Chinese school typically do: fighting all the time, being very disrespectful towards adults, completing assignments when and if they feel like it, a complete inability to "read the room" regarding how they relate to other children...super tuhao. And the mother screamed the house down when we let her know about the expulsion. Demanded money back for the last day. My boss transferred it immediately. Krankenstyle posted:¡dos свидания! This made me snork. The security kid actually speaks Russian! I had two native Russian speakers students in my summer session. It took the rest of the class almost two weeks before JESUS CHRIST GUYS THEY DON'T SPEAK CASTELLANO finally sunk in and they started communicating with each other in English. Security Kid was so great. He was absolutely flummoxed by the Spanish students because they were so childish by comparison. He basically moves from country to country with his family, perpetually attending various EFL special courses and camps in lieu of regular school for most of the year, so he's very independent and fairly mature for his age. He would ask me really specific questions about my life and my travels, and we bonded over that. I could also tease him more than the other kids. He would come in and say, "Miss Fleta, look, these shorts are Dolce and Gabbana, and my shoes are Dolce and Gabbana, and my backpack is Gucci," and I would say, "Don't be such a bandeet." And he would laugh. I'm gonna miss him. The last day was yesterday and we made a pinky promise with each other to both be back next year. He gave me all of his projects from art class and asked me to hang him up in the classroom next year so he can see them when he comes in. 
|
|
#
?
Jul 21, 2018 10:40
|
|
|
I like this security kid.
|
|
#
?
Jul 21, 2018 12:17
|
|
|
From a friend's facebook post. quote:Child, at breakfast, apropos of nothing: “Well, I do need to get a welding torch.”
|
|
#
?
Jul 24, 2018 17:31
|
|
|
Another instalment of "My nephew tells jokes on Skype" Q: Why did the teenage crab get in trouble with his parents? A: Because he scuttled STRAIGHT home from the party!
|
|
#
?
Jul 29, 2018 13:25
|
|
|
At preschool today: 3 1/2 year old only child whose mom isn't pregnant: "My didi (little brother) is late." Me: "Oh, how long have you been waiting for didi?" Kid: "Sooooo long! I wait for a very long time." A short while later, same kid, "No one around me is fat, so no babies  "
|
|
#
?
Aug 14, 2018 10:57
|
|
|
mania posted:At preschool today: He was just trying to get a taxi. Also, that's HILARIOUS.
|
|
#
?
Aug 14, 2018 11:27
|
|
|
My six year old cousin, after finishing his Hi-C on the beach: “Ah, nothin’ like a cold fuckin’ juice box”
|
|
#
?
Aug 17, 2018 05:35
|
|
|
impossirrel posted:My six year old cousin, after finishing his Hi-C on the beach: word 
|
|
#
?
Aug 17, 2018 08:36
|
|
|
From my brother and his daughter/my niece: Brother: "How old is (her name)?" Niece: "One!" Brother: "And how old is daddy?" Niece: "...four!"
|
|
#
?
Aug 17, 2018 21:53
|
|
|
It's a little unfair to laugh about this, but one of my students cannot pronounce the word "criminals" and keeps saying "caramels" instead. "The police officer catch caramels!" She also says "whores" instead of "hours," but that's somehow not as funny to me. ME: "If someone asked you to describe China, what would you say?" STUDENT: "China is like a chicken."  There was an outline of China on the slide in front of us, so he did roughly this: 
|
|
#
?
Aug 18, 2018 11:54
|
|
|
|
| # ? May 22, 2024 11:02 |
|
|
poo poo, now I can't unsee it
|
|
#
?
Aug 18, 2018 12:56
|
|
