/r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > /r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

QuarkJets: Sep 8, 2008

Taima posted:

You dismissed her concerns despite 1) not even understanding the familial relationship in the first place and 2) your anecdotal evidence was that people in your school had the same name as you and it was ok then?

dude arbitraryc's comment does not attempt to justify the aunt or dismiss the niece's concerns, which are that a specific family member is being an rear end and stealing her future baby's name, not that other children in general may have the same name

# ? Aug 21, 2018 08:17

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# ? May 14, 2024 21:11

Shithouse Dave: Aug 5, 2007; each post manufactured to the highest specifications

QuarkJets posted:

dude arbitraryc's comment does not attempt to justify the aunt or dismiss the niece's concerns, which are that a specific family member is being an rear end and stealing her future baby's name, not that other children in general may have the same name

It just wouldn't be an arbC post if he didn't partially agree, then say something tangentially related but mindblowingly dumb.

# ? Aug 21, 2018 08:21

QuarkJets: Sep 8, 2008

"in situations where more than one kid had the same first name we'd usually use their last name or last initial to help differentiate them" - a mindblowingly dumb sentiment

# ? Aug 21, 2018 08:25

CheesyDog: Jul 4, 2007; by FactsAreUseless

Poor Navaeh and Neveah, they never stood a chance

# ? Aug 21, 2018 08:29

Ghost Leviathan: Mar 2, 2017; Exploration is ill-advised.

They don't have this problem on Marklar.

# ? Aug 21, 2018 08:35

Milotic: Mar 4, 2009; 9CL apologist; Slippery Tilde

Lmao.

Father of bride speech. Would this offend?

quote:

u/Fob48
I've been asked by my daughter to write a "father of the bride" speech for her wedding. I'm not familiar with these speeches as my wife and I are from another culture - we don't do wedding speeches.

After watching a few YouTube videos, I sat down to write. I thought I should make it honest and funny as not to bore the guests.

My daughter and her fiance have a 14 year age gap which initially I wasn't happy about so I thought I would start off the speech with that

"My first impression of Mr Maximilian was.... Bloody bastard! What the hell is this son of a bitch doing with my 21 year old daughter?"

Something along those lines. True story: I hired a private detective to investigate him and I have a couple of photos and anecdotes from that which I thought would be interesting to share (yes, my daughter and her fiance are aware of this and no hard feelings exist).

Then I would go on to explain how although we didn't understand, we accepted, and we respected our daughters choice.

Talk a bit about her growing up, her qualities, her achievements, and how much we would miss her - she's moving to another state

Then keeping with the theme, I would end the speech with "welcome to the family, you bastard".

Would anyone take offence? I don't want to discuss with them beforehand as the speech is meant to be a surprise

Tl;Dr I'm writing a father of the bride speech and I would like some input.

No, no, it�s really perfect as it is.

# ? Aug 21, 2018 08:43

Theophany: Jul 22, 2014; SUCCHIAMI IL MIO CAZZO DA DIETRO, RANA RAGAZZO

2022 FIA Formula 1 WDC

Husband (38m) attacked me (38f) while drunk. Do I have to leave if he's doing everything he can to prevent this from happening again?

quote:

My husband has at times turned to drinking after work when he's really had a stressful day. We've been having some marital issues as of late. We had a heated argument one morning and then he went to work and apparently a project he'd been working on fell apart. We continued to have a few words via text throughout the day. He went out after work drinking and didn't come home until about 1 am.

When he came home, he was loud and I was afraid he'd wake up our 4 year old so I came out of the bedroom. He was drunk and obviously on edge, being sarcastic. I raised my voice a little and told him he should at least tell me if he's coming home late, and to keep it down. He went to grab my arm (non aggressively) and I pulled it back quickly. Anyway, it's a bit of a blur but he ended up grabbing me by my hair with his other hand on my neck and squeezing.

I was shocked and I guess kind of scared because I remember yelling for him to stop it. My voice wasn't overly loud because he was squeezing kind of hard, but it woke up our son. He then let go. The next day I had red marks on my neck from his fingers.

I know the statistics. I know how crazy this is. The next day he went to an emergency psychiatrist appointment and enrolled in an anger management course. He told his friends what happened and asked to be held accountable for no more alcohol. He also went to an AA meeting and plans to continue going.

I'm at a loss. He's remorseful and ashamed. I know this is dangerous and as mentioned, I know the statistics. But do I give him a second chance? I have nowhere to go really but I could figure it out. I love him and I really don't want to leave.

tldr husband choked me while drunk

loving run.

# ? Aug 21, 2018 08:45

Darkhold: Feb 19, 2011; No Heart❤️
No Soul👻
No Service🙅

The most important thing about knowing those type of statistics is not becoming one yourself.

# ? Aug 21, 2018 08:48

Xenocides: Jan 14, 2008; This world looks very scary....

This is fine.

quote:

My girlfriend [30] constantly picks fights with tough-looking guys in public so that I [26M] have to step in and defend her honor
u/VeganCheezeburger
Been dating �Crystal� for about a year now. Relationship has always been on the relatively light side�her terms. I�ve often hinted I want to take things to a more serious level, but she�s kind of playing it light and breezy with me. We�re exclusive, so at least I have that going for me, but she doesn�t want me meeting her parents or hang out with her and her friends. She has on occasion hung out with my friends and I, but she hasn�t met my parents yet. It�s kind of harder for her to meet them because they live in Russia.

Crystal is also considerably better off financially than me. She works an office job, but not a degree-requiring one. She has a degree in dance from the community college. Her parents pay for her apartment. I have a degree in computer programming but it is only an AA. I am saving money to transfer to UCLA but it�s hard because I need to pay the international student fee.

Okay so enough of my life story.

Crystal and I often go out to parties and bars, and she is the flirty, loud sort. If a guy responds, she will act insulted and then argue with the guy until he says something she takes as an insult, and then tells me about it. Well, I�m her boyfriend so I have to defend her. The other guy will often have a friend with him and feel safe in talking down to me but I am a pretty big guy I am six feet five and two hundred and fifty pounds because I played rugby as a late teen and work out hard still.

I have been arrested a couple of times defending her. She thinks it�s no big deal because I am eventually released and she pays the fine so it costs me no money.

I am not terribly experienced dating women here so I am wondering if this is just a normal thing I need to expect.

When I talked to Crystal about her behavior she turns it around on me and says that I am not a gentleman if I do not defend her and also that I am not manly if I back down from fights. I never back down from a confrontation but I do not like to fight a man if he isn�t even talking to her and he only gets mad after she pushes his buttons.

Looking for advice here on what I can say to her in this situation. Even when we do not go to seedy places like certain bars she will still often make a spectacle of herself and then she calls on me like a guard dog to clean up her social mess.

Why is she doing such things? Rhetorical question I do not know and when I ask her she deflects and turns it into a question of my courage and loyalty instead.

Theory? Counsel?

Tl;dr: girlfriend starts fights. I finish them for her.

Yes, this is perfectly normal behavior for a 30 year old woman. Chivalry demands it. Gentlemen of the Victorian Era prized a woman who would get drunk and poo poo talk guys to provoke duels. The Trojan War started because Helen was taking the piss out of guys at the local market.

# ? Aug 21, 2018 08:59

burial: Sep 13, 2002; actually, that won't be necessary.

Smirking_Serpent posted:

I have two close friends with the same first name and I've never been able to settle on a good naming scheme. Alpha/Beta, good/bad, 1/2, Prime, etc, nothing seems to stick.

I only have one friend with the same first name as me, but he�s gay so this problem solved itself. (I get to be �straight [first name], obviously.)

# ? Aug 21, 2018 09:06

Theophany: Jul 22, 2014; SUCCHIAMI IL MIO CAZZO DA DIETRO, RANA RAGAZZO

2022 FIA Formula 1 WDC

Xenocides posted:

This is fine.

Yes, this is perfectly normal behavior for a 30 year old woman. Chivalry demands it. Gentlemen of the Victorian Era prized a woman who would get drunk and poo poo talk guys to provoke duels. The Trojan War started because Helen was taking the piss out of guys at the local market.

quote:

She has a degree in dance from the community college.

I'd take that information to the grave rather than share it with another soul.

# ? Aug 21, 2018 09:11

My Imaginary GF: Jul 17, 2005; by R. Guyovich

Theophany posted:

Husband (38m) attacked me (38f) while drunk. Do I have to leave if he's doing everything he can to prevent this from happening again?

loving run.

I'm a firm believer that alcohol reveals ones true self.

Xenocides posted:

This is fine.

Yes, this is perfectly normal behavior for a 30 year old woman. Chivalry demands it. Gentlemen of the Victorian Era prized a woman who would get drunk and poo poo talk guys to provoke duels. The Trojan War started because Helen was taking the piss out of guys at the local market.

'Dance degree from community college,' named after a champagne. As brother Huey once asked, "Cristal, that sounds like a stripper name. Might you be a stripper, Cristal like the champagne?

# ? Aug 21, 2018 10:48

Theophany: Jul 22, 2014; SUCCHIAMI IL MIO CAZZO DA DIETRO, RANA RAGAZZO

2022 FIA Formula 1 WDC

lol, I'm sure this will go down well.

I (22M) have been secretly dating my soon to be step-sister (20F) and we dont know what to do

quote:

My father started dating a very nice woman around 2 years ago and after a few months I met her daughter. Over the course of the next few months we found ourselves falling for each other and eventually started dating. We have been keeping it a secret for about a year so as not to have to deal with the interactions with our families in an akward way, but now this life of secrecy is starting to take its toll on us.

My father and her mother got engaged, and I will be taking a job in January that will require that I move across the country. I would love for her to come with me, and she wants to as well, but we need to first figure out a way to get past this secret of ours. I am afraid of how my family will see me as there is the whole impending step-sister dynamic, and I am also afraid that my friends and family will be upset at me or not trust me after finding out I have been lying to them for over a year about my relationship status.

I am just honestly at a loss for how to deal with this situation and it is really causing harm to my mental state and my relationship. It is a wonderful and healthy relationship outside of all this.

TLDR; secretly dating an almost-step-sister, need advice on how to navigate the social stigma.

# ? Aug 21, 2018 11:09

tactlessbastard: Feb 4, 2001; Godspeed, post; Fun Shoe

Theophany posted:

lol, I'm sure this will go down well.

I (22M) have been secretly dating my soon to be step-sister (20F) and we dont know what to do

Marry her first. Your move, dad.

# ? Aug 21, 2018 11:32

Kazzah: Jul 15, 2011; Formerly known as
Krazyface; Hair Elf

They should get married immediately, that'll make the parents the creepy ones.

edit: are you fucken kidding me

# ? Aug 21, 2018 11:33

Absurd Alhazred: Mar 27, 2010; by Athanatos

Xenocides posted:

This is fine.
...
because I need to pay the international student fee.
...
I have been arrested a couple of times defending her. She thinks it�s no big deal because I am eventually released and she pays the fine so it costs me no money.
...
Yes, this is perfectly normal behavior for a 30 year old woman. Chivalry demands it. Gentlemen of the Victorian Era prized a woman who would get drunk and poo poo talk guys to provoke duels. The Trojan War started because Helen was taking the piss out of guys at the local market.

Little Miss Daddy Issues over here is going to get her squeeze deported.

# ? Aug 21, 2018 12:26

TheSoulian: Dec 5, 2016

Our [26f, 26m] neighbor [30s f] of 1 month is VERY extroverted and VERY clingy. We feel trapped in our apartment. She is being clingy even after talking to her about it. Help!

quote:

We're introverts, we don't like being around people generally and desperately want to be left alone. We come home from work exhausted only to be bombarded by The Friendly who will literally wait to listen to see if we're moving around so she can "accidentally" stumble upon us in the hall and try to talk to us. We'll be about to go out in the hall to go somewhere and she'll hear our keys jingling -- we will hear her unlock her door and open it a little to look so she doesn't miss us. Lately we've been opening and shutting the door, then listening for her to run downstairs and open her door and say "oh hi!" then silence when she realizes there's no one there, then she runs back upstairs and THEN we sneak out. It's like a freaking horror movie or scary game.

We have talked to The Friendly about how we're introverts and not really social. She started crying last time and saying "I'm so sorry, I'm such a burden," which resulted in us comforting her and telling her we really like her and reminded her that we're just not people-persons. It was awful. But it didn't help. It didn't even take the edge off. Neither did getting coffee once, in an effort to make a specific time to talk to her; she just clung MORE.

I've had it after today and we're considering switching to another apartment in the building (which would cost $1000 if we do it before December... but we're really getting that desperate). I was taking our dog out to go to the bathroom and he REALLY had to throw up. I didn't have time for fake tricky door games. I rushed out with him before he could vomit in our apartment, and The Friendly followed me out, calling "oh hiiiii, haha we're coming out at the same time agaaaaaain." I called back over my shoulder "I can't talk right now, sorry!!" and kept jogging along.

She CHASED me.

Literally RAN after me, RAN down the stairs behind me and when I got outside with the dog to vomit, started talking my ear off. I'm not exaggerating, this lady literally PURSUED me out the door and down two flights of stairs. Then when I brought him back inside, tried to follow me into my apartment because she wasn't done talking.

I'm sick of living like I'm on Seinfeld. If talking and hints don't work, then what? Is our only option seriously to move?

**tl;dr** Clingy neighbor utterly unstoppable even after talking to her about it.

# ? Aug 21, 2018 13:09

Blade Runner: Aug 14, 2015

TheSoulian posted:

Our [26f, 26m] neighbor [30s f] of 1 month is VERY extroverted and VERY clingy. We feel trapped in our apartment. She is being clingy even after talking to her about it. Help!

She's crazy, but also it owns to imagine that they're being dunked on this hard by their inability to tell someone to gently caress off

"T-t-this woman, she keeps...talking to us!!! Please help, internet"

# ? Aug 21, 2018 13:18

Absurd Alhazred: Mar 27, 2010; by Athanatos

TheSoulian posted:

Our [26f, 26m] neighbor [30s f] of 1 month is VERY extroverted and VERY clingy. We feel trapped in our apartment. She is being clingy even after talking to her about it. Help!

She could have literally solved that problem at one go by letting her dog puke on the obnoxious neighbor.

# ? Aug 21, 2018 13:24

Theophany: Jul 22, 2014; SUCCHIAMI IL MIO CAZZO DA DIETRO, RANA RAGAZZO

2022 FIA Formula 1 WDC

TheSoulian posted:

Our [26f, 26m] neighbor [30s f] of 1 month is VERY extroverted and VERY clingy. We feel trapped in our apartment. She is being clingy even after talking to her about it. Help!

They're gonna feel pretty lovely when the neighbour's loneliness and depression gets the better of her and she takes a couple of fistfuls of ambien.

# ? Aug 21, 2018 13:33

MightyJoe36: Dec 29, 2013; Cat Army

I had a neighbor exactly like this once. Being polite didn't help, so I finally got frustrated and literally slammed my door in her face. Rude, I know, but at least she finally got the message.

# ? Aug 21, 2018 13:33

Danaru: Jun 5, 2012; 何 ??

Blade Runner posted:

She's crazy, but also it owns to imagine that they're being dunked on this hard by their inability to tell someone to gently caress off

"T-t-this woman, she keeps...talking to us!!! Please help, internet"

I mean they did tell her to chill, it made things worse to the point that she literally chased the OP down like a really chatty Michael Myers. Telling her to gently caress off is going to end with OP taxidermied in the neighbour's living room

# ? Aug 21, 2018 13:47

zakharov: Nov 30, 2002; Tater Love

I don't think someone who eavesdrops and chases their neighbor down the hall is going to be persuaded to stop with a firm conversation.

# ? Aug 21, 2018 13:59

Blade Runner: Aug 14, 2015

Danaru posted:

I mean they did tell her to chill, it made things worse to the point that she literally chased the OP down like a really chatty Michael Myers. Telling her to gently caress off is going to end with OP taxidermied in the neighbour's living room

I instinctually side against anyone who describes themselves as introverted

# ? Aug 21, 2018 14:23

Hellblazer187: Oct 12, 2003

Introversion is not the same as anti social. These people are not introverts.

# ? Aug 21, 2018 14:28

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

Sorry but they called her �The Friendly� and don�t think introversion is a disease. Automatic sentence: guilty

# ? Aug 21, 2018 14:28

Yawgmoth: Sep 10, 2003; This post is cursed!

Theophany posted:

lol, I'm sure this will go down well.

I (22M) have been secretly dating my soon to be step-sister (20F) and we dont know what to do

There was literally a sitcom about this.

# ? Aug 21, 2018 14:33

Barudak: May 7, 2007

Xenocides posted:

This is fine.

Yes, this is perfectly normal behavior for a 30 year old woman. Chivalry demands it. Gentlemen of the Victorian Era prized a woman who would get drunk and poo poo talk guys to provoke duels. The Trojan War started because Helen was taking the piss out of guys at the local market.

The only possible way you could think constantly creating fights is normal is if someone in your life does this so my question, OP, is what is like to have Don King for a mother?

# ? Aug 21, 2018 14:33

Generic Monk: Oct 31, 2011

ArbitraryC posted:

If they both name their kids the same thing will the kids really care? They're second cousins not sisters I doubt it'll really be a thing.

e: like op totally stole the name and should be made fun of for it but beyond that I don't really see the issue. If somehow the kids get curious I feel like they'd probably think it was a cool story that both their mom's loved the name so much.

yea this. I think the main issue with the op on this one is her being surprised a 19yo is acting like this

like it's a faux-pas and is obviously going to generate some drama, but it doesn't loving matter.

Generic Monk fucked around with this message at 14:39 on Aug 21, 2018

# ? Aug 21, 2018 14:33

Dienes: Nov 4, 2009; dee
doot doot dee
doot doot doot
doot doot dee
dee doot doot
doot doot dee
dee doot doot; College Slice

TheSoulian posted:

Our [26f, 26m] neighbor [30s f] of 1 month is VERY extroverted and VERY clingy. We feel trapped in our apartment. She is being clingy even after talking to her about it. Help!

We have talked to The Friendly about how we're introverts and not really social. She started crying last time and saying "I'm so sorry, I'm such a burden," which resulted in us comforting her and telling her we really like her and reminded her that we're just not people-persons. It was awful. But it didn't help.

There's your problem right there. Let her cry herself out. She's a 30yo goddamned adult.

# ? Aug 21, 2018 14:37

Generic Monk: Oct 31, 2011

TheSoulian posted:

Our [26f, 26m] neighbor [30s f] of 1 month is VERY extroverted and VERY clingy. We feel trapped in our apartment. She is being clingy even after talking to her about it. Help!

this has nothing to do with her being extroverted and everything to do with being a loving basket case

# ? Aug 21, 2018 14:40

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

Just LOL when people complain about not having a social safety net and yet don�t know how to network. I know this one lady who is totally irresponsible but has a lot of friends, and it one point I tallied it up and she has �borrowed � over $60,000 worth of money from people that she knows. All of them know that they�re not going to get it back, and probably anyone of them would give her some more. If the hallway lady is that desperate for friendship, you could probably get some goods or services out of it

# ? Aug 21, 2018 14:40

Leon Einstein: Feb 6, 2012; I must win every thread in GBS. I don't care how much banal semantic quibbling and shitty posts it takes.

Pick posted:

Just LOL when people complain about not having a social safety net and yet don�t know how to network. I know this one lady who is totally irresponsible but has a lot of friends, and it one point I tallied it up and she has �borrowed � over $60,000 worth of money from people that she knows. All of them know that they�re not going to get it back, and probably anyone of them would give her some more. If the hallway lady is that desperate for friendship, you could probably get some goods or services out of it

What the gently caress are you talking about? How does the first part of your post relate to the hallway lady?

You really think it's normal for poor people to be able to hit up friends for 60k? Jesus, you're so out of touch with reality.

# ? Aug 21, 2018 14:42

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

Haiiiii guuuurl Wow you are such a good gardener, my roses have all these aphids, and I just don�t know what to do about it. Do you know how to get rid of aphids? Can you help me? *watches her do it for 3 seconds before going inside* thaaaaaanks!!! :h:

you�re such a good friend!!!

And yeah hey if you could do that every Tuesday oh my gosh that would be so cool, I would be so super grateful. Also please walk my dog

# ? Aug 21, 2018 14:42

zakharov: Nov 30, 2002; Tater Love

I'd ask why Pick continues to blatantly troll this thread but people keep biting so

# ? Aug 21, 2018 14:45

Ouhei: Oct 23, 2008; Cat Army

Generic Monk posted:

yea this. I think the main issue with the op on this one is her being surprised a 19yo is acting like this

like it's a faux-pas and is obviously going to generate some drama, but it doesn't loving matter.

The 19 year old is being mature though? The OP stole the unique name she chose for her baby and knew full well what it meant to her. It's a supremely lovely thing to do with someone you're close to and the post indicated that the OP probably pulls similar poo poo often enough to be called out on it. Of course the kids won't care, but that's not the issue at all. It's just really loving disrespectful to do that to a close family member.

# ? Aug 21, 2018 14:46

TheKennedys: Sep 23, 2006; By my hand, I will take you from this godforsaken internet

Pick posted:

Haiiiii guuuurl Wow you are such a good gardener, my roses have all these aphids, and I just don�t know what to do about it. Do you know how to get rid of aphids? Can you help me? *watches her do it for 3 seconds before going inside* thaaaaaanks!!! you�re such a good friend!!!

And yeah hey if you could do that every Tuesday oh my gosh that would be so cool, I would be so super grateful. Also please walk my dog

yep, everybody has this friend (except most of us aren't Pick so usually that friend just conveniently never has cigarettes despite being a half-pack-a-day smoker but oh look, TK the Cigarette Fairy always has an emergency pack, I'm sure she won't mind)

# ? Aug 21, 2018 14:50

Generic Monk: Oct 31, 2011

Ouhei posted:

The 19 year old is being mature though? The OP stole the unique name she chose for her baby and knew full well what it meant to her. It's a supremely lovely thing to do with someone you're close to and the post indicated that the OP probably pulls similar poo poo often enough to be called out on it. Of course the kids won't care, but that's not the issue at all. It's just really loving disrespectful to do that to a close family member.

yeah tbf the 19yo is just not talking to her which is prob the most mature way of handling a situation like this. i mean personally i think it's a dumb thing to be mad about and that you can't really steal a name, but yeah it could have easily been avoided by picking literally any other name.

# ? Aug 21, 2018 14:54

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

TheKennedys posted:

yep, everybody has this friend (except most of us aren't Pick so usually that friend just conveniently never has cigarettes despite being a half-pack-a-day smoker but oh look, TK the Cigarette Fairy always has an emergency pack, I'm sure she won't mind)

I don�t actually condone being this kind of friend, but if you do have somebody that won�t leave you alone, you might as well cash out

# ? Aug 21, 2018 14:55

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# ? May 14, 2024 21:11

Leon Einstein: Feb 6, 2012; I must win every thread in GBS. I don't care how much banal semantic quibbling and shitty posts it takes.

Generic Monk posted:

yeah tbf the 19yo is just not talking to her which is prob the most mature way of handling a situation like this. i mean personally i think it's a dumb thing to be mad about and that you can't really steal a name, but yeah it could have easily been avoided by picking literally any other name.

Obviously a name isn't a tangible thing to be stolen, but you can absolutely steal them. You've never heard of identity theft?

# ? Aug 21, 2018 14:56

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